Hello, when I was young, my sister was eight years older than me, so I made it clear that I wanted a companion. And the result? I had to live in my grandmother's house until the third grade before I lived with my parents. When my sister was at my grandmother's house, I went to play with my classmates and was told by my parents that I would rather accompany others than my sister. But she's eight or nine years younger. Can I play with her? Now that my sister is ten years older, I feel particularly scared when I think my parents are old. Therefore, if you want to live, don't put all the reasons on the boss. He didn't point a gun at you and asked you to find him a partner.
I am the mother of two children, and Bauer is now 1 half a year old. I originally wanted Bauer because I wanted to be Dabao's companion.
Let me talk about the changes of children after giving birth to a second child, and give you a reference to see if you want a second child.
First, Dabao's psychological changes for a period of time, children want to find children and children to play for a period of time, especially like to find children. Every time after school, I am reluctant to part with my friends. Looking at the children's small eyes, after school, several parents will tacitly let the children get together to play for a while. During the holiday, I also invited the children out to meet.
But that's all. After returning home, the children still said that I miss someone and I want to play with someone.
In contrast, the smiling face playing with children outside and the sad face before going home are different from the disappointed face after taking children home.
At that time, I thought, if only the child had a playmate at home.
Give birth to a baby and rob your mother.
After the family really had a baby, the two babies and the whole family were in the process of running in 1 year ago.
In Dabao's view, the baby is quite cute, but with a baby at home, not only can we not play with her, but the whole family has to turn around the baby. Dabao thinks there is a crisis. Dabao doesn't want to share her mom and dad with other children. She wants to hold her mother to sleep at night as before, no matter when her mother only cares about her feelings and thoughts.
Before Bauer was six months old, it was good to have a little guy around him: Bauer would sit, sleep less during the day, laugh when he was teased, and Dabao would gradually revolve around Bauer. At this time, Dabao thinks that Bauer is a "big doll", which can cry, laugh and eat, which is much more fun than the "doll" at home.
Eight months after I took it to Bauer, Bauer knew that he had played with his sister. Dabao thought it was good to have a "little tail".
After a year of adaptation, Dabao can also accept that his mother coaxes Bauer first and then sleeps with him. I don't think anyone took her parents.
Second, the relationship between the two children changes In fact, the relationship between the two children mainly depends on Dabao and Mom and Dad.
At first, Dabao didn't want anyone to share her parents' love. Later, Dabao took the initiative to take care of Bauer, played Bauer's favorite game with him and let his mother rest.
At first, Dabao played by himself. Later, Dabao not only knew how to share housework, but also helped to take care of Bauer and was considerate. Dabao also deliberately coaxed Bauer before going to school, telling him to listen to his mother at home and wait for her to come home from school.
Of course, at school, Dabao will also show off to his children that there is a small follower at home.
Third, changes in the living environment at home Although there is a little doll at home, life seems to be full of "anger".
Dabao used to play quietly, but now the room is full of laughter and footsteps of two babies.
Of course, there is also a "little adult" at home! Dabao also learned to start telling Bao Xiao what to do.
Erbao families with a lot of living expenses may be embarrassed by daily expenses.
As for early education, we already have parenting experience, and this money can be saved.
So, it seems that we didn't spend anything extra except what we needed.
Diapers and milk powder are wasteful.
Parents' hard work and mothers with only children know that it is not easy to raise a baby. But children can't understand this "hard work". The child only knows how his mother treats him and how his father treats him. Who knows this bitterness?
(1) parents' psychological preparation
If you want two treasures, mom and dad should be mentally prepared:
Only unexpected, more unexpected things!
(2) Parents' physical preparation
When children are young, parents can take turns hugging each other; When you have two children, no one can rest, just one person!
So you have to have a good figure!
Especially when you can't sleep well at night, you have to work and take care of two treasures during the day.
Therefore, it is not a joke to ask for two treasures, but it is really difficult! When the child comes, it is the responsibility, and parents should do their duty.
In short, whether to have a second child or not, the family will discuss it together and solve all the problems that can be encountered in advance. (For example: the daily care of children, what to do if children are sick, who will send their children to school in bad weather, etc. )
If every family member agrees to do their part and expects new family members, parents will know whether to have two treasures.
Having a second child is the practice of parents, and having a companion in adulthood is thinking. Parents should not impose their consciousness on their children at this point. I plan to have a second child, which is allowed by national policy. I have exhausted my energy and financial resources. I will communicate with my children in advance. Eight-year-olds should not think that they are too young to understand. They know more and know a lot of information than when we were young. They are all little people who know everything. Don't ignore children's thoughts. The reasons and ideas are clear, and the children understand, so you can recuperate and get pregnant. Children don't understand, communicate slowly until they accept it. Don't be rude, or tell a joke. When you are old and lying in a hospital bed, it is he who decides to unplug the oxygen and infusion tube. Take care of yourself!
The child is eight years old. According to the child's wishes, I want my mother to have one more companion. I want to say that children's requirements should be met. But the premise is that the family economic conditions are still passable. If the burden is heavy, it is not too late to wait for the economic conditions to improve after two years. There are college graduates with a second child here. In any case, it is true that children have a burden, but from the child's point of view, when children grow up, many brothers and sisters will be helpful when they encounter difficulties. Take care of each other. Everyone understands these reasons, but the actual situation is called a dilemma. Parents are afraid of hardship and don't want to have a second child. Ten children from nine families are not lonely because they want more brothers and sisters. The state also calls for having a second child. This is a strange time.
In the end, you can make your own decisions, and others can't add money. It's best to obey the children and leave no regrets.
In fact, this problem is taken for granted by parents. Take my family as an example. When my family Dabao was more than three weeks old, he often said to me, "Mom, give me a sister. I want a sister. "
I thought someone said something to the child, or that other children had sisters, so I wanted it. After a while, it passed, and the result has been said for half a year.
I think it may be that the child feels lonely and wants to find a companion. After communicating with the children, she wants a second child (I later learned that there are a pair of twin sisters in her class who play together every day and are envious. Actually, she just wants to find someone to play with.
During pregnancy, Dabao was also full of expectations (when my sister came, she didn't have to go out to find other children and someone to play with her, which turned out not to be the case (* ω *)).
In fact, there is an important problem that I neglected, because I brought up the child alone, and I always accompanied her during pregnancy.
After Bao Xiao was born, Dabao couldn't play with her at first sight, and took up her mother's time. At this time, my grandparents took my child away again. They also wanted me to have a good rest, but I think Dabao might be unhappy. As a result, my worry happened. Since my grandparents took me away, my child hasn't seen me for a month and hasn't called home. Before that, my children never left me (my grandparents' house is only two buildings away from mine, and I didn't know until I got it back. At first, my children wanted to go home to see me. Grandparents said it would affect my rest and take care of my sister. They didn't let the children go upstairs. I told them several times not to let them go home, but they stopped talking. Grandpa also told me that it is a big problem that children don't go to kindergarten.
I went to my grandparents' house to forcibly pick up the children before I finished my confinement. I didn't want to go to kindergarten, so I rested at home for a few days and tried to spare time with her. Sometimes I think that if I didn't want a second child, then these problems wouldn't happen to my children. Anyway, now that it's like this, I can only find a way to solve it. Sometimes I still feel that Dabao is very wronged.
Dabao is 9 years old and Bao Xiao is 4 years old. This is a naughty moment. Most of the time, the two sisters still have a good time. Dabao also takes care of Bao Xiao. At this time, Bao Xiao always runs with his sister, learns some behavior habits, and completely regards her as the object of imitation? (? ^o^？ )? . There are also times of discord. Whenever Dabao says, "Make trouble again and I'll throw you out." As a result, Bao Xiaoming understood that no matter who annoyed her, she would throw people away. _?
Therefore, this question, the child is already 8 years old, should listen to the child's opinion, and then consider whether there will be problems in the future, and then decide!
This question! You can have a second child if your strength allows! If nothing else, it is because the child has grown up and someone has confided. Nowadays, many only children take care of their parents, complaining about why they had an extra child in the first place, which caused such a heavy burden and made them want to cry.
From 20 16 to 10/,the new population and family planning law came into effect, in which the first paragraph of Article 18 stipulates that "the state encourages a couple to have two children", which declares to the people all over the country that the comprehensive two-child birth policy has been fully implemented, and also marks that the CPC Central Committee encouraged a couple to have only one child in 1 980.
The child (only child) is eight years old and obviously feels the need for a companion. Should he have a second child so that he can have multiple companions? To answer this question, you need to decide according to your actual situation, which is generally determined by the following aspects:
First, the disadvantages of having a second child 1. High income requirements. Nowadays, a series of social problems such as difficult education, difficult old-age care, high housing prices and expensive medical care are prominent. The oppressed people are out of breath, and their income level is always at the average level, so it is difficult to support their dreams. Have a second child, from birth to marriage, hire a nanny, stay in hospital, go to school, get married, buy a house and so on. This long twenty or thirty years has cost more than one million, which requires a high level of income and consumption tolerance and is also a test.
2. the pressure of raising is great. Nowadays, young people are generally busy with work. The working system of 996007 has seriously overdrawn their energy, and people are more and more anxious and sad. Lack of money has become a normal and hot topic. The 35-year-old is the ceiling of the workplace and faces the middle-aged crisis of unemployment at any time. Having a second child requires a higher level of energy for you. A person with two children needs one person to sacrifice his career and return to his family, which will put more pressure on the other person and make psychological preparations.
3. The child has a weak sense of responsibility. At present, the only child is the treasure of the family and is loved by thousands. She enjoys all the high-quality resources and has a high quality of upbringing, but she has no brothers and sisters, indifferent affection, no sense of sharing, selfishness, loneliness, lack of playmates, prone to psychological problems, and great support pressure in adulthood.
Second, the advantage of having a second child is 1. Conducive to the healthy growth of children. Having two children, children have a partner who can play together, learn from each other, promote each other and share happiness and sadness, which is conducive to the healthy growth of children.
2. Disperse the pressure of raising children. When children grow up, facing two old people, they can share the support pressure and reduce the support burden, and parents also have hope.
3. Avoid the risk of losing independence. According to statistics, there are more than 10 million families in China, and the middle-aged and elderly people lose their independence, which is a great blow to families. Children are the lifeblood and bond of the family. Without children, the family will be very scattered, and having two children can avoid risks well.
To sum up, having a second child has advantages and disadvantages. You need to consider comprehensively according to your income. In a money society, many things can be solved with money. If you have a high income level, a stable job, a well-off family and are willing to have children. At present, if your first child is 8 years old and you have a second child, the large expenses such as children's education can basically be staggered and can be considered.
Hello, everyone, I'm @ Da Xiao Tong Ai, and I'm glad to answer this question: the child (the only child) is eight years old and obviously needs a companion. Should he have a second child so that he can have multiple companions?
Since 20 16, the country has fully liberalized the second child policy, and the topic of whether to have a second child is still under debate.
My two children are nine years apart. I think if conditions permit, we can consider having a second child.
At first, I thought Dabao was too lonely. When an eight-or nine-year-old child needs a playmate, Dabao always longs for a younger brother or sister. As soon as the second child policy was released, he considered having a second child with his wife.
Why do you have a second child? I think it has the following advantages: first, leave a relative for the child. Having a second child is not because of money and time, nor because of having a boy and a girl, let alone having both children. It is necessary to create a good word. It's just that in this era full of competition, indifference and utility, he has only one blood-related relative left. Parents will leave one day, leaving him a relative and a partner, which is much better than leaving him a car and a house.
Second, let children know how to be grateful and how to share. Now the only child is spoiled by his parents and four old people and becomes selfish and overbearing. Since my second treasure was born, Dabao has obviously become sensible. Knowing that he loves his mother's hard work, he will take the initiative to help with housework. Every day after school, I consciously finish my homework early to play with my sister. If there is fun and delicious food, you will think of giving it to your sister first.
Third, * * * share the ups and downs of life. Life can't be smooth sailing, there are always storms. I saw a photo on the internet before: in a hospital ward, a man was sitting between two beds, holding his father with his right hand and his mother with his left. This man is an only child, and his parents are both ill in hospital. He resigned to accompany him.
Busy for several days, I didn't sleep. He is the only one who goes through all the hospitalization procedures and the only one who accompanies me. He doesn't even have a relative to discuss and help. He collapsed and cried several times in the toilet. If he has brothers and sisters, he won't be alone, and at least one relative will accompany him through the difficulties.
In short, if conditions permit, I still suggest having a second child. Dabao is eight years old and needs a companion. Having a second child is good for his growth. If there are no conditions, we must think carefully. After all, the cost and energy of raising a child are too great.
I am a friend who likes my words @ Tingting Tingting, welcome to leave a comment+follow below!
We have been there before. Judging from the performance of our children and the children around us, it is better to find a companion for our children. It is best to have a second child if you have economic and health conditions.
First, the two children have company and their hearts are dependent.
My two children, three years apart, have been playing together since childhood. The big one helps the little one learn to walk, and the little one can walk and run behind the big one. There are classmates playing at school and two children at home. The big ones do their homework, and the small ones crawl and watch; Big singing, small humming, big dancing, small gesturing; The big one washes clothes, and the small one plays with the washed handkerchief. Adults see it in their hearts, and the joy is imminent, and they can't say the kind of family happiness.
A little longer, if there is any inconvenience between children and parents, they will talk to each other and whisper to each other. The second child went to college, but if there is anything inconvenient to tell his classmates, he should tell the boss directly. The students in the dormitory are envious and complain that their parents only gave birth to themselves.
We have a neighbor whose daughter went to junior high school and gave birth to a small one. When a young man speaks, once he is scolded by his parents, he will talk to his sister or protect him. Her sister will appease him, enlighten him and then smile through tears. These things can sometimes play a role that parents can't.
Nowadays, some young people are eccentric and even dead-headed, which is partly caused by their status as only children, because they have nowhere to tell their sufferings. Telling jokes to classmates is difficult to keep secret; Tell my parents there is a generation gap, I'm afraid I don't understand. Over time, psychological shadows appeared.
Second, the two children have companions and photos related to life, and relatives can adjust them.
The two children not only look at the present, but also pay attention to the future. The road of children's life is still very long and bumpy. If you have two children, you can discuss with each other. If you get married, you will have four peers. People pay more attention to it, and the intensity is greater, so there is no hurdle.
In business, two people are always more successful than one. A neighbor said that two children are more likely to be proud of their ancestors, and the east is not bright. Whether the starting point is right or not, don't comment first, and encourage and help each other more or less in their careers. As the saying goes, fighting is still brothers, which tells the secret.
After retirement is delayed, the pressure on children is even greater. They must work and take care of their elderly parents. If they have two children, they can also take care of their parents. At least more people will call to be caring and attentive.
Although it is hard to raise two children when you are young, it is still worthwhile compared with the family happiness you enjoy when you are old.
In short, it is better to have a second child under economic conditions and good health.