1. Parents' self-education is particularly important.
Krishnamurti, an Indian philosopher, wrote in his book Life's Learning that what kind of person you are, whether you are a parent or a teacher, is what you teach your children. In fact, this is also consistent with the concept in Spock's book. Parents' self-education is particularly important.
First of all, know yourself and know yourself.
At the same time, we should also understand children and learn, at least learn some basic common sense about their physical and mental development.
Knowing yourself, knowing yourself is starting from daily life and having conflicts with children. When you are angry and anxious, this is your best chance to know yourself. For example, I will watch many mothers ask questions. One is about a child who loves to lose his temper, and the other is about how to control his mother, who especially loves to lose her temper. Some mothers may think that this child is born with such a bad temper and bad personality. She will be a bad child in the future, and what to do if she can't change it. She would think so. Some mothers will realize that I am tired. When I am upset, I will refuse my children even more. I will lose my temper with my children. I will regret it in the future and how to change myself. These are two particularly different angles. It is also the child's mood, and the mother's mood is also very troubled. One angle is to change children, and the other angle is to change yourself first. Later, this angle is the fundamental to solve the problem.
If we want to educate our children well, we should start with parents' self-education, which is an angle.
2. Parents' mentality and ideas will directly affect their educational ideas and attitudes towards their children.
Second, parents' own outlook on life, including their outlook on success, directly determines their educational concepts and mentality, which is not isolated. How parents treat their children for more than 20 or 30 years, his life experience, how to treat his gains and losses, success or failure directly affect what kind of ideas they will use to guide and educate their children.
I remember a typical father on the forum. He made an education plan for his daughter. The first time he posted his education plan was in 2002, when his daughter was just born and the goal was very clear. He thinks that children must skip a grade in primary school, and finish the six-year primary school curriculum in four years, so that his junior high school is six years, and the university must take the Tsinghua of Peking University. If he fails, he will have to take the exam again. After finishing Tsinghua Peking University, I will study abroad. This road has been designed, so you must take this road. All educational measures should be carried out around this educational goal, and finally put forward such a goal for planning. This practice has been criticized and refuted by many mothers, but on the one hand, he listened calmly to everyone's opinions and discussions, on the other hand, he unswervingly adhered to his education plan. Absolutely not. He believes that many parents will give up their educational responsibilities and give their children too much freedom. If you don't go to Peking University Tsinghua, do you still call it going to school? That's the point.
In 2004, the father released another plan and reported the implementation of his plan to everyone. His daughter planned to go to school at the age of five, but in fact she went to school at the age of four and a half. After school, his grades among first-grade children were below average. He said no problem, my child will definitely come to school after the third grade. Moreover, he said that he also learned the advice of his online mother, paying attention not only to the child's intellectual development, her academic development, but also to her emotional intelligence training. The father said that wherever her daughter goes, she is everyone's pistachio, and her psychology is very healthy. Everyone likes her very much.
It can also be seen from his description that their parent-child relationship is very good and they are very close to their daughter. However, he insisted that his daughter must go to Tsinghua Peking University. He set this goal for a reason. Because he missed Tsinghua by a few minutes, from then on, he felt that he had lost his goal in life. Maybe he went to an ordinary university and became a sailor after graduation. He also feels that this career choice is also a failed choice. After he draws a conclusion about the success or failure in his life, he will learn from it and educate his children.
As for his outlook on life and success, right? This is a matter of opinion. I think his parents' own thinking about life and success directly affects his educational concept and mentality.
Parents should be aware of their limitations in the process of educating their children.
Every parent is used to choosing their own life for their children, but in this choice, I think we should pay attention to two issues. You should know your limitations. Your experience and lessons may not guide your children, and you may not be the bright light in their lives. You must think it over first.
Parents choose their children's educational goals, one is guidance and the other is setting the tone.
Orientation is not to choose a specific path, orientation is to hope that children can strengthen their bodies, enrich their minds and let their minds constantly improve and grow. Whatever you do is the same. You should be physically and mentally healthy, constantly improve your life and pursue higher goals. This is a positioning.
Setting the tone means that no matter what a child does, whether he succeeds or fails in the process of doing it, the tone of this life should be positive. No matter what you encounter, success or failure is an experience of life and a valuable asset. With this tone, those children who are not afraid of failure, dare to persist, dare not give up, and persist in their efforts will benefit from this behavior for life.
Otherwise, for example, some children may temporarily fall behind in school. In this case, many parents will have such a misunderstanding. Once a child's academic performance is not good, he feels that his face is not bright, and that the child is not smart enough and stupid, he will project many of his inner fears on the child. No matter whether it is sarcasm or uglification, there will be a lot of mental abuse, which will block the way for the child to change. Children will know themselves from their parents' comments, especially younger children. For example, in primary schools, they will learn more about themselves from their parents' evaluation. If you give him this direction of progress and describe it in such a gloomy way, that is, you don't work hard and put a lot of negative labels on him, the child will think that he is like this, but he doesn't work hard. Therefore, parents' educational mentality is a particularly important thing.
4. Cultivating cognitive ability should conform to the law of children's growth
To know what the focus of early education is, we must balance several aspects of education.
The first is the cultivation of cognitive skills, which should conform to the law of children's growth. Children should not be allowed to read for months, nor should they be allowed to do arithmetic when they are not very good at establishing abstract logical concepts. The current research results may not be sufficient, but some people suggest that the consequences of doing so are likely to have a very negative impact on children's future. The development of cognitive skills must be moderate and enough is enough.
The second is to cultivate children to love their parents, their loved ones, their friends, their teachers and even irrelevant people in the family, and to provide help and services to others.
The third is to pay attention to children's interest and initiative in doing things. I am especially opposed to letting children misunderstand and fear learning before they really start learning and start systematic school study, which leads to children's dislike of learning and inability to sit still as soon as they go to school.
It is conceivable that a child who has never written homework is very excited and interesting to leave him some homework after school. If you have to do homework for an hour every day from kindergarten, children will definitely feel too bored and lose interest.
Now there is a very prominent phenomenon, that is, "weariness of learning", which used to mean that college students are tired of learning, and now junior high school students and primary school students are also tired of learning. It used to be the so-called poor students. Children who failed to learn well were tired of learning, but now students with good grades are tired of learning. This is a very serious problem.