I saw a problem on Zhihu. The couple who have been married for many years quarrel every day because of the three views. They separated automatically for three years, but they didn't divorce for the sake of their children. But she is only 30 years old and still has a long way to go. Should she get a divorce?

The most popular answer is: the farthest distance between people is three views, friends can keep in touch less, and husband and wife are too painful. It is recommended to stop loss in time, change the other party or divorce in your own way.

I know a couple with different views. Their daily life is to start a quarrel mode, from buying a house and a car to watching TV.

Xiaohui and Xiaohua are in free love, because they meet each other by taking the same subway to work every day. After talking for three months, they got married.

Shortly after marriage, Xiaohui became pregnant, and ten months later she gave birth to a daughter. Xiaohui wants to insist on breastfeeding, but Xiaohua thinks that her daughter grew up with milk powder. It is better to send her daughter back to her hometown to her parents, and Xiaohui can still go to work.

No matter how Xiaohui explained the importance of babies drinking breast milk, Xiaohua just wouldn't listen. He made a list of household expenses, recording all expenses such as mortgage, car loan, credit card, water and electricity in detail.

Xiaohui insisted on breastfeeding for half a year before sending her daughter back to her parents-in-law. After her daughter returned to her hometown, Xiaohui often went to Lacrimosa because she missed her daughter.

Xiaohua thinks this is just a short-term departure. Only by earning money can we give our daughter the best living conditions. He thinks Xiaohui is short-sighted and can't bear chaos.

Xiaohui thinks Xiaohua is too hard-hearted My daughter was sent back to her hometown as a left-behind child at such a young age. Seeing that her daughter is two and a half years old and can't speak complete sentences, Xiaohui quickly took the child back to her side.

Xiaohui and Xiaohua are both only children. They have been married for three years. Xiaohua takes Xiaohui to his home for the New Year every year. Seeing the fourth year, Xiaohua still asked Xiaohui to go to his house for the New Year.

Xiaohui proposed to go back to her hometown for the New Year this year, because every New Year's Eve, her parents make do with Burton jiaozi, and they hope Xiaohui can go home for a reunion year.

Xiaohua firmly opposes it on the grounds that marrying a chicken and following a dog will only make people laugh. Since you miss your parents, you can visit your mother's family on the second day of the first month of the New Year.

Xiaohui is in a hurry. Can it be the same as spending the New Year with her parents on the second day of the first month? I really can't go home for the New Year with my parents all my life?

I didn't expect Xiaohua to sneer. Since ancient times, women have been going to their husbands' homes for the New Year. After you get married, you are my family. Don't turn your elbows and think about going back to your mother's house. This is your home!

Xiaohui asked me, do they have three views? He doesn't like what she likes at all. Their mode of getting along is like a debate, and they are always on opposite sides.

She thinks they are more like debaters than husband and wife. Different opinions can be changed, and it is too painful for them to disagree.

Xiaohui is also struggling with divorce. Looking at her innocent daughter, she couldn't bear to let her daughter live in a single-parent family.

2

So you have to divorce if you don't like it? Let's see how my other friend Xiaomi did it.

Xiaomi is a 28-year-old full-time mother. She spends two hours cleaning the house every day, and then takes her/kloc-0-year-old son to a parent-child early education class to exchange parenting experience with her parents.

Xiaomi's husband Zhang Lin thinks that the early education class is deceptive. It's a waste of money for my son to go to an expensive early education class without saying anything.

In order to strengthen his son's physique, Xiaomi will take his son to swim with his parents. Swimming can exercise heart and lung function, which is beneficial to brain development.

Zhang Lin voted against it again, because swimming is a dangerous sport. My son likes swimming. Just wash it in the bathtub at home. Why waste money?

Xiaomi will often take his son to see children's musicals, so that his son can feel the magic of music from an early age. Now his son has a sense of rhythm, and he will swing freely when he hears music.

Zhang Lin is still against it. Does he think his son can understand musicals? If you like music, play it on your mobile phone at home.

Xiaomi always thought it didn't matter if the husband and wife didn't get along. To say the least, Xiaomi always gives way to Zhang Lin. It was not until Xiaomi's mother gave a critical notice that Xiaomi discovered the proportion of the three views in marriage.

The thing is, Zhang Lin asked for leave to accompany Xiaomi's mother, and Xiaomi's mother didn't die. Xiao Lin wants to go back to work, but Xiaomi thinks Zhang Lin is unreasonable. Is work important or life important?

Zhang Lin didn't compromise, but said some malicious words. Even if he stays, he can't save his mother-in-law. She will die, so it's better to wait until she dies.

Xiaomi is extremely chilling. Fortunately, his mother survived. Xiaomi, who has experienced the test of "Where are you going?", decided to divorce. Life is too short to spend yourself in a marriage with different views.

What are the three views? Most marriages have different outlooks on life, world and values. After all, everyone has to grow up in different environments.

You like coffee and he likes milk tea, which is incompatible with the three views. If he says that drinking coffee is melodramatic, it is incompatible.

Different opinions can complement each other, and disagreement is really hopeless. No matter how you change, the other party will not agree with you.

three

One of my readers, Xiaoli, married a rich second generation, and the whole village was proud of her. After less than two years of marriage, Xiaoli went back to her parents' home in shame and lived for half a year, with no intention of going back.

It turns out that the rich second generation likes to eat seafood and often asks May to cook a seafood dinner. Xiaoli is allergic to seafood, and when she eats it, she gets red spots all over her body.

So their dinner will become a person eating seafood and porridge alone, and the rich second generation will be so angry that they will break the bowl and leave.

Xiao Li likes keeping puppies. Once Xiaoli bought a beautiful Chihuahua puppy. Unexpectedly, the local tyrant smelled the dog when he got home. He threw the dog from the third floor without saying anything. When the dog died, Xiaoli cried all night.

The rich second generation likes skydiving and takes Xiaoli by helicopter. She was so afraid of heights that the rich second generation pushed her down in a rage.

Xiao Li was terrified out of her wits and pulled the switch of the umbrella. She felt close to death. Since then, Mei has become more and more strong, strong and fearless.

Xiaoli asked me how she should change to save her marriage. I said that you like the puppy, and he fell dead, and you can accept his behavior, which proves that your three views are not incompatible, but just different.

Xiaoli thought about it and said that he didn't like many things she did in life, and she didn't like many of his practices. She likes a stable life, but he likes an adventurous life.

I asked her, do you accept adventurous life? She shook her head. I said that nothing can be changed without a common goal, but nothing can be changed through three views.

Three views, namely, outlook on life, world outlook and values.

Everyone's world outlook is basically the same, but everyone's outlook on life and values will be biased and different.

It may or may not be similar, but it doesn't prevent us from being together. What really affects is living habits and personality. Even if the three views are consistent, it is impossible to be together. On the other hand, it doesn't matter if the three views are inconsistent and the personality can be consistent.

So the difference between the three views does not affect whether we can be together. It's really terrible to argue every day without arguing.

In this world, it is difficult for us to find a perfect match with ourselves, and there is no perfect other half, but if we want to get married, we must at least marry someone who is consistent with you. In addition to external conditions, there are three similar views on real suitability.