From the point of view of doting itself, doting is a risky love, which is suspected of drowning. The implicit appeal of doting is that parents consciously emphasize "dear, as long as you get good grades, we have nothing else to ask for", and parents subconsciously hint to their children that "I pay for you to see you get ahead for me". Under the care of "achievement first" and "sacrifice for me", children will gradually feel invisible pressure, which is the burden of the soul. In adolescence, many situations and things (such as competition or love) can no longer be replaced by relevant people, but they have to face their own choices. Because of their dependence complex, weak determination and sense of responsibility, they appear helpless and incompetent, and they will doubt themselves because they can't find themselves, which will lead to depression and anxiety, and even retreat behaviors such as being tired of learning and relying on games.

The psychological problems of modern children, doting and being harsh are two major reasons. Harsh, perhaps in those strict and autocratic families, is a nurturing environment that inhibits children's spiritual freedom. Spoiling is not only to demand and restrict psychological growth.

Why doting is fatal? Because of doting, it seems to be full of warmth and tenderness, and there is also a democratic atmosphere, but it makes children learn passive acceptance and obedience, and makes children accustomed to enjoyment and dependence. Spoiling animal skins: restraining children's creativity and open thinking; Suppressing children's independence; Constraints on children's determination and behavioral responsibility; In particular, it stifles children's ability to withstand risks and setbacks.

A 13-year-old girl came to do psychological counseling. She said gloomily, "I was unhappy in primary school." After entering junior high school, I feel more and more isolated and I don't feel warm at home. " I asked, "How do you feel at home?" "Cold feeling" "How do you think mom and dad treat you?" They love me very much, but I don't know why I can't feel warm. This is a sign that spoiled children are unhappy. Not all spoiled children are unhappy, but the doting parenting model definitely implies the demanding of limiting children's psychological ability. Parents have to reflect: why do we give our children selfless love, but children don't feel love?

If children don't feel love in a loving relationship environment, it is definitely not that parents don't love their children, but that parents don't love their children. Therefore, doting on it symbolizes the suffocation of love, and doting on it means that children's creative thinking is drowned by love and their independent personality is prevented by love.

Since children's psychological problems are related to doting, it is absolutely necessary for us to cultivate children's healthy personality psychology, or to improve children's non-intellectual qualities, such as children's independent will, patience, determination, tolerance, love and so on. These psychological qualities can never be obtained in textbooks and classes, nor can they be brought about by good grades. It is absolutely necessary for us to provide children with a relaxed psychological environment so that parents and teachers can truly understand their inner world.

In addition, not only children's education pays attention to methods, but also children's literacy education pays attention to methods. People's memory of pictures is very profound. Compared with boring words, they need to practice line by line. For example, Cat, Xiao and Shuai learn Chinese characters is a software that evolves pictures into fonts, so that children can learn Chinese characters in curiosity and happiness. My daughter has been exposed to Chinese characters since she was three years old, and now she has used more than 300 words a year. This is a good software for free.

Cats, handsome guys and Chinese characters are good examples of picture evolution in Chinese characters. Let children perceive the world and learn knowledge at the same time. This learning method and thinking ability are of great help to the heavy learning tasks in the future.