Parents should listen to their children patiently. Parents should educate their children patiently. Don't interrupt children immediately when they are explaining something, which is very unfavorable for their growth. Here, I would like to share with you the article that parents should listen to their children patiently, hoping to help you.
Parents should listen to their children patiently. 1 Scene 1: Let both apples bite brightly.
A mother asked her 5-year-old son Liang Liang, "What would you do if mom went out to play with you, we were thirsty and didn't bring any water, and there happened to be two apples in your small schoolbag?" Liang Liang cocked his head for a moment and said, "I want to bite both apples." You can imagine how disappointed the mother was. She wanted to scold the child and then teach him how to do it, but at the moment when she was about to say something, she suddenly changed her mind. The mother touched her son's little face and asked softly, "Can you tell her why you did this?" The son blinked and looked innocent: "Because because I want to give the sweetest to my mother!" " "Suddenly, my mother's eyes glistened with tears. Experts click:
Before the age of 7, children's abstract thinking is still developing, and their understanding of logic is still superficial. Many times, it is difficult to use logical relations flexibly. Therefore, when a child describes a thing, he or she usually starts with the most exciting thing, rather than following the logic of time sequence and cause and effect. Sometimes, this way of speaking will inevitably make parents feel nervous. Some impatient parents will ask questions in a hurry, with a harsh tone, or even ask what happened at all. It is not advisable to teach children first, which will have a negative impact on their growth.
In this story, we all thank the mother, because her tolerance and trust for her son made her feel her son's love. We are also happy for this boy. His naivety and kindness were revealed, because his mother gave him a chance to finish.
Scene 2: Mingming who never wants to go to kindergarten again.
When I came home from work, I clearly shouted to my mother, "I hate Miss Wang, and I will never go to kindergarten again!" " "At that time, my mother really wanted to blurt out:" That's not the case. Teachers are always good to you. How can you not go to kindergarten? " But my mother suppressed her excitement. After reciting a few Arabic numerals, she said in an understated tone, "Oh, really?" I listened to his article quietly. After a while, Mingming, who was still angry just now, approached his mother and said, "Mom, I was wrong today, and I grabbed toys with my children. It is really shameful to be criticized by Teacher Wang. " After listening to his words, mother breathed a sigh of relief.
Experts click:
In fact, children don't need any words from their mothers. All he needs is a listener to vent his inner imbalance. Fortunately, the mother controlled her emotions and gave the child a chance to finish talking and vent her dissatisfaction. If the mother is impatient, she will be taught a lesson after listening to the child's half sentence, which often makes a mountain out of a molehill, which will form an image of "moody" in the child's mind and greatly affect the establishment of the child's sense of security. Because emotional thoughts at this time are just a way for children to vent their anger. If parents don't let their children say such things, over time, children will have nowhere to vent and will be very obedient at home. In fact, they will be depressed in their hearts, and they will also complain that their parents don't understand themselves and don't "stand on one side" with themselves. In this way, the first thing that affects the child's personality is that the child will gradually become aloof, and the second is the alienation of parent-child relationship.
Scene 3: Thank Ali for not scolding his mother.
Ali robbed another boy's toy in kindergarten and was punished by the teacher. When he got home, he told all this to his mother. It happened that my mother had a terrible sore throat that day and couldn't speak at all. Originally, she thought that the child had done something wrong and wanted to interrupt the criticism of her son, but she was ill and only opened her mouth without criticism. The next day, Ali came home from kindergarten, threw herself into her mother's arms and said happily, "Mom, you understood me so well yesterday and didn't scold me. Thank you very much. Come to think of it, it was wrong of me to snatch toys from children. I have apologized to him today. If you scolded me yesterday, I might feel more wronged. Mom, that's very kind of you! "
Experts click:
In this scene, the mother can be described as "hitting her head on the wrong foot" because her throat hurts and she can't speak, but the child thinks that her mother understands him, so she appreciates her understanding. If the mother has a heart, I think she will understand her children better in the future.
For parents, they should care about their children and understand their mistakes. Children's self-control ability is low, and their compliance with social norms is not in place. If parents show understanding to their children and educate them at the same time, it will get twice the result with half the effort. The process of educating children is also a process of persuasion. Psychological research shows that persuasion standing on the opposite side will not only stimulate the other side's rebellious mood, but also the content of persuasion is difficult to get the other side's approval. Persuading from the same angle will make the other party feel accepted and recognized by others, so it is easier to accept the other party's persuasion point of view.
Scene 4: The Happiness of Lying
Mom and Gui are having dinner at grandma's house. Gui stared at the dry fried hairtail intently and reached for a large piece, only to accidentally drop it on the ground. Mother scolded, "Why are you all hands and feet?" "I didn't make hairtail on the ground," Meng said. "It's no big deal to throw a hairtail. Why did you lie in front of so many people? " ! "The meal was tasteless and ended in discord. ?
A few days later, I asked my mother for money to buy a toy car. My mother said that the new car I bought last week was lost. I don't want to argue anymore. I don't want to buy it. Later, my mother learned that a child's family was poor, so he gave the toy car to the child. Mother asked, "Son, what you did is a good thing. Why don't you tell your mother? " I misunderstood you. "
"Mom, let me explain, ok? Every time I don't finish, you scold me. Just like the last time I lost hairtail at my grandmother's house, I just wanted to be humorous and say that hairtail ran to the ground by itself. " Experts click:
Not only adults know how to protect their "face", but children also have "face"! Many parents think that their children are still young and don't know what "self-esteem" is. In fact, when children establish their self-identity, their self-esteem is also established. When educating their children, parents should not only understand their children, but also take care of their self-esteem. If parents criticize their children in public, even beat and scold them, which makes them feel lost, not only is the education of parents difficult to work, but it is also easy to be resisted by children. In this story, the mother scolded the child in front of everyone. The child didn't say anything at that time, but suppressed his feelings. Therefore, when faced with the mother's inquiry again, the child chooses forbearance instead of arguing with her mother, which is unfavorable to the child's personality growth. If the mother lets the child finish eating, everyone will laugh in the child's humor, the atmosphere of eating is still pleasant, and the child will feel the respect of adults. Please listen to the child patiently.
Although the child is small, he is also an independent person. He or she has the right to express himself or herself and the right to be understood and respected. When the child 1 year-old begins to speak, parents can listen to the child patiently, which can not only encourage the child to learn to speak, exercise the child's language ability, develop the child's verbal IQ, but also reflect the parents' full trust in the child. Learn to control your emotions and listen to your children patiently.
The process of parents educating their children is also a process of "compromising with their children". Understand children everywhere, their cognitive level, their way of thinking and their mistakes; Respect children and take care of their self-esteem; Trust the child and believe that the child's motivation for doing things has his (her) reason. When you feel that you are eager to make a judgment or get angry, listen patiently and listen to your child's explanation.
Ask questions and avoid rhetorical questions.
When listening to the child, if you have any questions, please ask the child directly with the questions instead of asking them back. Interrogative questions are practical questions, while rhetorical questions have a certain tone of inquiry, which will put children on the opposite side and make them feel untrusted.
Encourage children's language expression.
For children who just learn to speak, although what they say is childish, they are often making up lies. Parents should also listen to their children's opinions more, and don't rush to tell them that this is wrong and interrupt them. Children before the age of 3 show their initial understanding of the world by telling stories. At this time, parents should encourage their children to express themselves in language and develop their verbal IQ. For the "misunderstanding" in childhood, it is the thinking characteristic of children. Parents should guide them in time and not interfere too much. In fact, it is very important for parents to spend more time with their children and listen to their thoughts patiently, not only for young children, but also for childhood children. This is not only conducive to the establishment of parent-child relationship, but also an important step to cultivate children's good character.
Good family education is very important for children's growth. Parents need great wisdom to educate their children well. Parents are still confused about their children's family education? Here, I recommend the "Children's Four-Round Learning Method" written by Mr. Lai, Vice President of China Ethnic Culture Society and Professor of Zhuhai Branch, which contains a comprehensive method of how to educate children, and comprehensively improve them from four sections: children themselves, teachers and classmates, parental supervision and family style construction! It is a systematic methodology! Please pay attention to our official WeChat account: Children's Four-Round Learning Method Sage.
Parents should listen to their children patiently. Good parents should have patience and early education for their children.
We can see an Edison motto on the walls of many schools, which is called "Success equals 99% sweat, plus 1% inspiration." The meaning emphasized by this proverb is familiar to everyone, that is, all success is the result of hard work, and as long as you work hard, you will succeed. The deeds of countless successful people are constantly supporting this motto, so that many unsuccessful people often have to suffer twice as much. On the one hand, they are frustrated with their unsuccessful efforts, on the other hand, they may blame themselves for not working hard enough.
1% inspiration is more important than 99% sweat.
When my daughter was in junior high school, she said to her mother, "Why can't I improve my grades if I work so hard?" . What is unexpected is Edison's motto, and the other half. He said, "But that 1% inspiration is the most important thing, even more important than 99% sweat." Isn't he joking with everyone? What does he mean?
He emphasized that the most important thing is a person's quality. If you don't have this quality, even if you are diligent, the "glory" you can get is probably very limited.
This is really the biggest trouble, and it is also the confusion of our school education and family education. The reality is often that as long as the child's grades do not meet the standards required by parents, teachers, schools and society, the first thing you think of may not be that the child is not diligent or hardworking, or that the child's efforts are not in place. In fact, such an evaluation seems fair, but in fact it ignores individual differences and everyone's fatal life secrets. Of course, sometimes there is another situation, that is, "1% inspiration" itself is unchanged. Perhaps at a certain stage, it is chaotic, but at another stage, it is a flash of light and suddenly enlightened.
In this sense, education seems to be the art of discovery and waiting. For example, Ang Lee, the most outstanding film director in the Chinese world, passed the college entrance examination three times and finally went to an art school where his family was dissatisfied. As a great scientist like Einstein, his talent is not reflected in his childhood language development. In fact, being so slow and out of state is not a special case. Maybe everyone has his shortcomings, and there are places he can't feel. Especially in childhood, because parents can't see anything and have no self-confidence, any shortcomings or inadaptability to school and study have become parents' biggest anxiety.
Speaking of it, under today's very unified school education and evaluation system, any unbalanced development and any dullness that falls on anyone is a kind of pain. We are always in a hurry and are too reluctant to give our children time to wait. We always turn our anxiety into children's anxiety.
I once went to a school in Guangzhou to talk about life education. After class, a vice president of the school came up to make a summary. She was so excited that she shed tears and said thank you very much. What should I be grateful for? Because she was fighting with the children at home this afternoon. The child recited an ancient poem, but he couldn't recite it all afternoon. His mother has heard it. I think such things happen from time to time in life, and the key lies in how we evaluate them. A child can't recite ancient poems all afternoon. First of all, you can't say that he doesn't study hard, or even rush to say that he doesn't pay attention. He doesn't necessarily have his problems, just like the screw of a machine may not be tightened, a trick may not be opened, and a bright spot of inspiration may not be lit-if only he could know all this and improve it. But the problem is that such "understanding and improvement" is the core of educational work, which requires a lot of work and sometimes takes a long time.
For parents, it is not anger, blame, disappointment or anger. A good parent is a patient person, waiting for the child to wake up, encouraging him to wake up, trusting him, and keeping his confidence no matter what happens, even if he can't wait for the moment when the child really "wakes up".