Don't give grandparents what you think is the link of scientific parenting. In life, many young people's children are brought by their grandparents, whose concept of parenting is different from that of young people. The following is not to give grandparents the scientific parenting link you think!
Don't give grandparents the scientific parenting link you think. 1 The "grandparents" who are always spit out have no right to speak on social media.
Some time ago, CCTV made an interview on the street and asked the old people who moved to their children's homes and took their grandchildren what they thought and wished. The words of the old people are full of sadness and helplessness:
Internet public opinion is always one-sided, labeling the elderly as "unscientific parenting". But few people can realize that in fact, in a family, people who are not looking after their children will often find their children's crying more harsh (full-time mothers may feel it more).
The child cried, the child caught a cold, the child didn't like eating, the child was afraid of strangers, the child slept too late, and the child hit someone. ...
It's all the fault of the people with children.
As parents of children, we all pay attention to all kinds of parenting accounts, with different emphases. Every tweet tells us: Don't feed children, don't let them watch electronic products, seize the sensitive period of children and accompany them with high quality!
But stay-at-home mothers can't do anything-after squeezing out all the time to learn parenting knowledge, the reality is that all the family members are doing the opposite.
You have to be considerate of the hard work of the elderly and don't want to create family conflicts. You can't blame the mother who is still chasing the children to feed. From now on, you can only praise every article in your circle of friends, "Separate child care's X sins".
You occasionally forward some links to your parents, but it has little effect. You begin to lament why you can't quit your job and go home to take care of the baby yourself. You feel sorry for this child. ...
Wake up! As a scientific parenting practitioner who is familiar with all kinds of parenting theories, and as a mother of a 2-year-old who takes care of her baby full-time, I really want to say that no one can fully implement all the scientific parenting theories.
So what can stay-at-home mothers do to take care of the emotions of the elderly and give their children more scientific and better care in their own way?
Rule 1: "Pay attention to family relations"
If the family relationship collapses, the negative impact on children will definitely be far greater than wearing too many clothes, being urinated and being fed ... mutual understanding between family members is the most important, especially for the main caregivers of children. You can't blame others for not helping.
If the elderly help with the children at home, then we should think about what will happen if they quit.
For the baby, the best early education is that the whole family loves each other, that is, the family laughs and laughs every day. When children grow up, how mothers treat their grandmothers is a model of how they treat their mothers.
Rule 2: "Practice scientific parenting by yourself"
Who will look after the children when they are with them? The scientific parenting methods you have learned will be implemented by yourself. For example, it is necessary to establish a regular schedule for children, to accompany children to complete bedtime procedures, to help children bathe, to tell bedtime stories, and to finish sleep.
Instead of letting the children get through the most sleepy point, the more they play, the more energetic they are, and then shouting in the living room over and over again: "Mom, take her to bed, or you won't get up tomorrow morning!"
When the benefits of scientific parenting are confirmed in children, for example, children become better after establishing a sleep mode, or children recover quickly after scientific disease care ... The old man knows which way is better when he sees it.
Actions speak louder than words. No one wants to be assessed, and no one wants to change himself by blaming and complaining.
This reminds me of a post that was very popular in Zhihu some time ago. It says that a woman's in-laws urged her to have a baby. She and her family made three rules: there was no baby at all. Not only that, she also requires every nurse to pass her "scientific parenting" test before pregnancy.
Many people applaud, but my evaluation of this practice is only three words: paranoia. )
The third trick: "buy buy can't solve the fundamental problem, and it is more valuable to pay time."
Many people rudely buy old people in buy buy to repay them. I don't know how much shoes and bags mean to us, but for the endless old people, they may not be so important.
If children can take over the housework, it will be more considerate to stay at home with them every weekend after work than to buy anything.
So are the children. Love for children cannot be reflected in the quantity and price of clothes, toys and early education classes. For children under three years old, the company of adults is the most important.
When introducing a new toy, the most important thing is for adults to demonstrate how to play with it. Children will be interested only if adults pass on their fun to them.
In short, the most precious thing to love someone is to spend time.
The fourth trick: "Take care of your own heart and reduce the burden on the elderly."
Early education classes are very good, especially for the elderly who don't know how to take care of their children. Early education classes can provide children with higher quality parent-child companionship.
However, after paying the high cost of early education classes, you need to consider whether the transportation between the early education center and home is convenient.
If the walking distance is long, or you need to change trains, you need to think about how to solve the troubles that the elderly may encounter during the hot winter and summer journey.
Some people will complain that when the elderly take care of their children, they always let them watch TV. Yes, watching TV is not as good as outdoor activities, but what if the elderly have to take time out to have a rest when their children watch TV because of physical limitations?
It is feasible to download cartoons of your choice for children. Teletubbies and Shawn the Lamb are very popular for children around/kloc-0.
For children around 2 years old, Pepe Pig and Johu are both good. At least it's better than watching legal programs, soap operas, happy faces and bears.
When arranging work and rest time for children, we must consider the actual situation of the elderly, care for each other and be considerate of parents.
Rule number five: "Be good at tools, don't dump links."
The ability of old people to accept new knowledge is limited, and it is almost useless to tell them that kind of parenting science with thousands of words and professional vocabulary. There are also many ideas and materials for family games and parent-child companionship on the Internet, but even if they are printed, the production of teaching AIDS and the implementation of activities are no small trouble for the elderly.
Montessori's theory looks attractive, but where should Montessori's game use start? Reading picture books/English picture books is good for children, but how to break the limited cultural level of the elderly?
The most important thing in early education interaction is to "meet the age of the month", seize the sensitive period of children, find out the points of interest of children, and design activities that are more in line with their own ability development for children.
But searching for early education materials is like looking for a needle in a haystack, what's more, there are a lot of props preparation and theoretical learning processes behind those beautiful photos/videos. It is not easy to follow them, and it is even more difficult to form a system.
The first and most important step to make early education games a part of daily parenting is to let parents find a more easily realized and systematic "guidance tool" in their daily life.
Don't leave your grandparents in scientific parenting. Most of the suggestions made by American Academy of Pediatrics are about how to reduce Separate child care's problems and deviations, how the elderly play with their children, and how to avoid possible safety risks, which are undoubtedly universal for China families.
Therefore, we will collect and select all the chapters in the American Academy of Pediatrics Encyclopedia of Parenting (6th edition), including suggestions for grandparents of different ages, hoping to inspire and help our readers and their parents.
In order to make it easier for grandparents to read, we have enlarged the fonts of key contents. It is suggested to collect them first and then take them out for reference at the corresponding age.
For various reasons, China today can be regarded as the most "prosperous" era of the Separate child care model, whether it is a horizontal comparison or a historical vertical comparison. Whether grandparents or grandparents, many elderly people still need help and help their children to raise the third generation after retirement.
This not only comes from the traditional family life mode in China, but also comes from the more complicated economic and life problems in the new era. Before discussing the issue of Separate child care, we must first sincerely thank the elderly in China for the price they have paid for raising their children.
Unfortunately, this is also the most intensified era of "two generations of parenting contradictions". Almost every family has conflicts arising from the different parenting styles of two generations.
There is nothing we can do about it. After all, our past 20-30 years have witnessed the fastest economic, scientific and cultural development in China's history.
A lot of old parenting "common sense" has been proved to be wrong or even harmful, and a lot of new knowledge that has been scientifically verified has been obtained by people. Coupled with the earth-shaking changes in lifestyle and catering structure, the concept of parenting between the two generations has produced great differences, and contradictions naturally appear.
No matter grandparents or parents, there can be no fundamental contradiction between the two generations in parenting. After all, we all have only one purpose: to make our children grow up healthily and happily. Therefore, the parenting problem of two generations, although difficult, is not unsolvable.
There is no solution, only a few simple words: mutual understanding, respect, communication, and judging by science.
In fact, all the above are easy to understand, but it is only a question of whether it can be done, but scientific standards may be the most troublesome.
Now many old people scoff at scientific research conclusions. The simplest example is whether pillow baldness needs calcium supplementation. The reason why the old people insist is simple: "That's how you ate when you were a child" or "The beans next door have long hair because of calcium supplementation". Seeing is believing, and experience is the most important thing.
Experience is indeed the most important thing, but don't forget that the conclusion of scientific research is also experience, which is the conclusion summarized by researchers based on decades of illness experience, involving thousands of children. Is one person's experience more reliable, or tens of thousands of people's experience more reliable?
A person's experience is unable to clarify the direct relationship between "calcium supplementation" and "long hair", but scientific research can confirm that the cause of occipital baldness is not calcium deficiency, and calcium supplementation can not repair occipital baldness. Baby's fetal hair falls off and new hair grows out. This is a natural law, whether it is calcium supplementation or not.
In addition, due to the physical or psychological characteristics of the elderly, they also have some common problems that are prone to occur. For example, the elderly are prone to chills and it is easy to cover the baby with a lot of clothes. Or because children always feel that eating is slow and changing diapers is troublesome, they simply feed themselves or urinate all the time.
There are too many similar problems. We have written hundreds of articles in three years, of course, we can't all say please.
Today, I'm going to talk about the advice given by the American Academy of Pediatrics to grandparents, how to participate in parenting, help rather than replace parents, raise children together and make them grow up happily.