How to cultivate children's strong character? How to cultivate children's strong character
Excessive expectations bring hopelessness to children; Overprotection leads to the incompetence of children; Overindulgence brings children's ruthlessness; Too much criticism leads to confusion for children. ...
The psychological reconstruction method of the future strong is mainly used to train children's psychological quality, behavioral ability, moral character and social adaptability.
First, speak loudly.
Speaking loudly is one of the effective training methods to overcome psychological quality defects, and it is also an important training to improve social behavior ability and social viability. Let children express their thoughts, wishes and feelings loudly, naturally and clearly.
Many people can't express their views clearly and loudly in public when they are in their twenties or thirties or forties. Are subject to this defect and weakness.
Young children always like to ask for things, such as food, games and what parents should do to help their children. It's simple. Take advantage of the child's most urgent requirements, let the child speak loudly, or express an opinion loudly, and parents will give it to the child. This method trains children to speak loudly. This is a quick and effective method for children of one or two years old. Don't think that letting children say a few words loudly is an injustice to children, and children will benefit for life. Children must be trained to speak loudly. If you speak loudly but not clearly enough, ask him to speak clearly. If the child wants a toy, but he speaks too fast and unclear, let the child speak clearly and then meet the child's requirements. For older children, the main methods are praise and encouragement, and secondly, attention should be paid to difficulty.
Is the child too timid to speak loudly? Then, on a certain occasion, if the child speaks louder than before, praise and encourage him immediately. It must be easy to train children to speak. Don't let the child meet the stranger he fears most, or take the child to a particularly serious occasion to talk loudly, which will scare the child. From easy to difficult: first speak loudly at home; Speak loudly with acquaintances again; Speak loudly in some relaxed occasions. For older children, such as high school students, it is necessary to know their interests in time.
Tell children that if this problem is not solved, they will lose many opportunities in their lives. It is an essential ability for a person to dare to express his views clearly. Mature children understand this and the problem will be solved soon.
Do facial expression reading at home and find a story. Aren't there all kinds of characters in the story? Parents recite with expressions. This paragraph is a child talking, so read a paragraph aloud in a child's voice: "Mom, when will you come back?" The next paragraph is what Dad said: "Baby, open the door for Dad." Read in dad's voice. Read literary works vividly at home and speak loudly, like nobody's business. It's very loud at home and seven minutes when you go out. It's not difficult to talk.
Parents can also train themselves in this way. For example, if parents want to talk like celebrities, they should find a book written by their children and read it out loud. This kind of reading, like speaking, should be colloquial. Training expression reading, you can also find all kinds of speech materials. This kind of information enables parents to enter the speaker's point of view and find their feelings. Speaking loudly is a particularly important aspect of training children's psychological quality.
Second, the return of power law.
Now some family education is misunderstood because children are deprived of two rights:
1, care about and manage your own power
2. Care about the rights of others.
For a seven-or eight-year-old child, parents take care of everything: studying, eating, drinking, sleeping and caring. Parents deprived their children of the right to take care of themselves. A child of 10 years old is deprived of the right to care for others if his parents don't let him care for his parents and others. The deprivation of two rights makes family education fall into a misunderstanding. This is a particularly big misunderstanding, which is not good for parents, children, the nation and the whole society, thus causing the defects of children's character. Children are born with the right and interest to care about themselves and others.
Children like to play house, cook by themselves, and get a small pot and bowl to simulate adults. This is called caring for yourself. Treat the doll as a child, pat it and put it to sleep. Or find a younger child as a child and simulate shaving and washing his face. This is called caring for the interests of others. Children have been there since childhood. These two kinds of concerns of children are a skill and a content of life that he naturally learns and simulates as a person. You took it away, okay? No way!
When parents return power to their children, they should add a word to define it, which is called "returning power to their children with guidance". Because the child is either young or spoiled, and he is not allowed to take care of himself, himself and others, and the child will not, so he should be returned to the child and guided.
What is the right to return the child? Manage your right to study; Master the power of your own work and rest; Master the right to play; The right to control and use the money given by parents to their children; The power of communication and social life; The right to choose and arrange your own clothes; The right to choose and arrange one's own diet; Take care of your bed, desk and drawer; The right to control one's own books; Children have the right to shop by themselves within the financial scope given by their parents.
Parents of these forces should gradually guide their children as they grow up and mature. A child who keeps drawers, books and beds in order since childhood will have the ability to manage the surrounding environment, materials and money in his later life and work. Therefore, it is very important for children to have the right to take care of themselves and manage themselves, and gradually have the right to care for others.
A child who goes to primary school doesn't know his parents' birthdays and what to say to his parents on their birthdays. The reason is the wrong education of parents. Because parents didn't train their children to care about others and didn't give them the right to care about others. When a child doesn't care about his parents and his family, he may not care about others in his life. How can such a person survive in society?
The ultimate performance of returning power to children is that with the gradual growth of children's age, children's self-care ability and self-control ability are gradually enhanced.
Third, the role replacement method
Under normal circumstances, parents have the final say in everything at home. As children get older, let them make decisions about certain things. Children aged two or three can ask them for advice: what to eat today? What do you do? Children are sometimes willing to make decisions. Older children can let them make decisions on bigger things: what furniture to buy at home? How to decorate the house? How to spend Sunday? Where to travel during the holiday? What gifts will grandparents receive on their birthdays?
When you meet something older, you can discuss it with older children. Parents' work, problems encountered in the family, can let children make suggestions. Let children become masters of certain things and stand in the role of parents in the past. This is called "role replacement". Ask children to be parents on holidays and Sundays. Many children propose to exchange places with their parents, so that parents can be children and children can be parents, that is, on this day, all children have the final say. Do parents know what it's like to be a child? Are you comfortable if your children manage this family in the way of parents?
This has two advantages.
1. When parents know where their children are uncomfortable at ordinary times and where they are uncomfortable, they also know what they have not handled well as parents in the past.
2. Let children realize the behavioral ability and psychological quality needed to be masters of the country. Both sides have gained something.
Another specific activity of the "role replacement method" is to let children judge their parents. Parents usually evaluate their children. Parents find a time to let their children evaluate it sincerely. What are the shortcomings and advantages of mom and dad? Where did mom and dad do well and where did they not do well enough? Especially for children to evaluate, is the image of mom and dad designed? Is the attitude towards children correct in family education? As parents, what are their creativity, intelligence, psychological quality, health status and moral cultivation levels? Let children evaluate their parents. This kind of evaluation by parents can bring a very good feeling to children.
Please listen to the children. Let children evaluate their parents. When children evaluate their parents,
Parents will find that some of their own advantages, strengths and good qualities are very clear to their children. Children can appreciate their parents, which will move them. Their own shortcomings, defects, weaknesses, children are very kind, so that parents are very moved. This kind of touch gives parents the desire and determination to change themselves and reshape themselves.
When parents ask their children some questions, they will find that sometimes the seriousness of the children is unexpected, and the children will work hard to help their parents consider the problems.
Parents let their children do something by themselves, which will also strongly touch their sense of responsibility in this respect and care about the pride of others.
This sense of responsibility and pride is also very important for the growth of children. Being good at helping and guiding children, being good at letting children help themselves, being good at asking children, and letting children guide their parents are really good parents, smart parents, parents who treat their children equally and respect their creativity.
Fourth, love cultivation method
Now love is being talked about everywhere, and many people forget how important it is. When cultivating love in family education, if its importance is not explained clearly, it may be considered as empty preaching. The cultivation of love is of great significance to children's future.
1, caring people will be physically and mentally healthy.
We find a rule that people who are physically and mentally healthy tend to have love for others. You are healthy, energetic, full of emotions and willing to care about others today. On the contrary, no matter how loving a person is, he has no time to care about others when he is lying in a hospital bed in pain. Physical and mental health is the physiological and psychological basis of love. Conversely, full of love can make people healthy physically and mentally. I was a caring person since I was a child, and my body and mind were healthy. Not cultivating children's love is actually an important way to deprive children of their physical and mental health.
2. A caring person is creative.
There is such a rule in literature and art that if the creator has love, his creation will multiply. In general inventions, a caring person is often lively and in good condition. A grumpy, vicious, jealous and narrow-minded person is not creative. Therefore, cultivating children's love is equal to cultivating children's creativity. Many creations come from caring and caring for human beings, such as medical creation, scientific creation, biological creation, psychological creation and literary creation. Because they care about human beings and all aspects of human life, they are creative. How can we create without love?
Love is the charm of people in social life.
When a person, whether male or female, leaves the society and has love for the people around him, this person is attractive, and everyone likes and loves him. If your child has love, he will have many popularity and opportunities in the future. Failure to cultivate children's love is tantamount to depriving them of their charm, making them unable to smile, love others and be loved by others. He will be a failure in his future life.
4. Love is a virtue
Caring people care about society and others, are moral people and are respected by society.
With love, he can be physically and mentally healthy, creative, charming and virtuous, and he can have better social viability.
Children have better ability to deal with classmates, friends, colleagues and the whole society. Without love, you are deprived of all these abilities. Parents don't cultivate their children's love now, but what way do they want their children to go in the future? The road to failure? Unhealthy road? Therefore, love will eventually achieve the future of children.
A fundamental principle of cultivating love is to set things that need children's care and love around children, and set the weak ones that need children's care and love around children, so that children can have the kind of tolerance that parents treat their children. If you have a brother and sister around you, that is the object that needs children's care and love. At this time, under the guidance of parents, children will love each other. Parents can ask their children to raise a pot of flowers or a small animal. This potted flower, this little animal, has become a weak person, an object that children can take care of and need to take care of, from which children have given birth to love.
Do you have any classic books to recommend? Recommended books:
1, The Analects of Confucius rules the world. What if you read it all?
2. Sun Tzu's Art of War is known as the first wonderful book in the world. Study hard.
3. Zi Tongzhi's favorite sword and spear in his life
What are the classic books about XML? Introduction and Improvement of Recommended XML Applications (Classic Tsinghua Edition) (CD attached)
However, xml is generally similar to treeview, with a tree structure, which is easy to understand.
If you look at code learning directly, it may not be intuitive enough, leading to incomprehensible situations. Therefore, it is necessary to intuitively look at each node and how to read and write.
Give you a website, you can install it to learn the basic operation:
: click on the blog. /YC 42 1206/archive/20 10/08/ 10/ 17 108 . aspx
After learning, you should redesign one according to your own needs, so that you can understand it more deeply.
How to guide and cultivate children's character? How much patience does it take to treat children? Only parents can understand. When you carefully prepared a big meal, he didn't eat a bite; When he falls asleep, you have a lot of things to do, and he refuses to sleep anyway; When you are sleepy at night, but the little thing keeps crying ... at this time, you have to try your best to suppress your anger and treat your children calmly. But can parents do it? Can parents do it repeatedly? Therefore, parents should try their best to meet their children's reasonable demands patiently. The child is actually the shadow of his parents. How you treat her will become part of her character. However, people's patience is limited, so parents also need to let their children endure some patience and waiting, even if his request is reasonable. For example, when you are busy, the child asks you to play with him. You can say to him, "Wait a minute, I'll accompany you when mom is busy." You may think the child is young, so it's okay to cheat him once in a while. In fact, this is not good, unless you want to be cheated by him in the future. I won't lie to children. He also deliberately wanted him to know that his mother would not lie to him, and her mother kept her word. This is very important, on the one hand, you can gain his trust; On the other hand, it can also establish the prestige of mother's words and avoid her unreasonable troubles because of luck. Try to be consistent and avoid confusion in children's thinking and judgment. When dealing with the same event, the same standards should be given. If you promise your child to do this today, but tell him for no reason that he can't do it tomorrow, it will cause confusion. You may forget your inconsistency, but children will never forget it. Over time, you will find it difficult to carry out your orders. Is the child willful? Actually, you are one of the reasons. Don't impose your wishes on your children. Every child has his own joys and sorrows. Even parents have no right to ask them to do everything according to your wishes, even if you do it for his own good. For example, if you think it's time for him to go to bed, you must let him eat a bowl of rice, or you must let him put down his toys and do what you want him to do ... The imposed result will only be counterproductive. Let children act according to their own wishes. Children are not only happy and optimistic, but also develop an independent character. Ignore the unreasonable demands of children. When you meet your child's unreasonable demands, or you can't meet his reasonable demands, if he cries endlessly, should you satisfy him to the greatest extent? On the contrary. You can never meet the unreasonable demands of your children, and you can't compromise once. Otherwise, it will only make the same unhappiness happen again and again. When you say "no" or "can't do it" to children, children often don't give up immediately. He will look at you and continue to test whether you really won't let him do it. At this time, you should resolutely walk over, take the child away and let him do other things; Instead of continuing to sit there and say "no" repeatedly, continue to compete with children. Son, you can know from your decisive attitude that it's really not possible. Let the children take a little responsibility. You may jump when you see this subtitle. What responsibility do you put on such a small child? In fact, children's sense of responsibility should be cultivated from an early age. Children should be responsible for their actions and establish a sense of responsibility. When a child throws a lot of toys all over the floor, parents can let the child clean up the toys together or guide him to clean up himself. Let the child pick up what he dropped and let him get up after falling. Parents should let their children do what they can. Children's character is cultivated in the dribs and drabs of daily life. As parents, we should explore hard to make our children become a popular person and a person with high emotional intelligence. (This article Source: Netease Parent-child)
What are the classic books that can inspire you? What do you recommend? & lt& lt bird >>& lt& lt prophet >>& lt& lt if you give me three days of light & gt
How to cultivate children's character and form good habits? First of all, parents should set an example. They don't want their children to form bad habits and they can't show them in front of her.
Play with children when you are free.
Cultivate his interest.
If you find his bad habits, please ask him to correct them immediately (don't use violence)
Children are very naive. What are you like in front of them? When they grow up, they will be like you.
How to cultivate children's good character? The baby's enlightenment education is very important, and it is also an important part of your personality. I've heard it from many parents. Fortunately, my relatives recommended it to me. I took it from someone else at first. My children bought a set of early education after watching it. This set of things is really useful and contains many aspects. I strongly recommend children's enlightenment. For details, please see their website: zaojiaodadang.
What books can cultivate people's character? If you have a good knowledge of ancient Chinese, you might as well read the Four Books and Five Classics, Huang Lao Zhuangzi and Huainan Taixuan.