Most afraid of going out, we often encounter a headache, that is, after playing for several hours, the children always cry and don't want to go home, which always makes parents very helpless.
Then, parents will use their killer weapon: "If you don't leave, I will leave!" " Give the child a gorgeous back, and the child will immediately get up and keep up. Parents are secretly proud, but they don't know how much this sentence hurts their children.
I remember taking my daughter to an early education class last year. It was very late after class. It's past lunch time, so I have to drive home. I want my children to leave early, but my daughter doesn't want to go home and play with other children. After waiting for half an hour, my daughter was still indifferent. I was particularly angry and said to her, "Then you can play here, and mom will leave first!" " I didn't see the child get up, so I went to the bathroom first and came out of the bathroom without seeing my daughter. I rushed to the front desk to find my teacher, only to find her holding her tearful daughter. I saw her mouth shouting, "Mom's gone, mom doesn't want me." The teacher comforted her and said, "Mom didn't leave." She still cried and said, "Mom really left. She said she was gone and disappeared. "
Hearing this, I quickly held my daughter in my arms and explained to her: Mom didn't leave, just went to the bathroom.
The child sobbed for a long time.
Parents just want their children to go home as soon as possible, so they came up with this strategy. Although many parents try every time, because they will succeed every time, children will get up and catch up with their parents because they are worried that their parents will really leave him.
But I suddenly realized that this sentence still caused my daughter a certain degree of fear, so I said to my daughter, "honey, mom knows you want to play here." It's so fun here, and my mother likes it here, but now my mother feels hungry and has no strength to play with you. Can you accompany her home for dinner first? Mom will continue to play with you after we finish eating, ok? " Unexpectedly, my daughter readily agreed and followed me home smoothly.
Children in a rebellious period, naughty and playful is their nature, is it that their parents are always on standby?
However, most parents take the extreme method of intimidation. Parents say "if you don't leave, I will leave" without thinking, which will not only bring deep fear to children, but also become a danger source for children.
I remember reading a thought-provoking news: a mother took her children to the park to play. Children like the recreational facilities in the park so much that they refuse to go home. Mother said angrily, "If you don't leave, I'll leave!" "He got up and left, but the child didn't catch up. It was not until the mother walked across the street and shouted at the child that the child found that her mother was gone. She was frightened and ran after her, but she was knocked down by a speeding car.
The mother threatened the child's success, but she never heard the child call "mother" again.
The mother won, but the child never came back. The mother regretted lying in a pool of blood with her child in her arms, but it didn't help.
It's too late to regret it. Being angry with children is the most childish behavior of parents. When parents turn away, children will try their best to chase after their parents when they find that they are not around, because children don't know that this is because their parents are angry with them, but they are afraid that their parents will really leave them behind.
On the way to education, don't be impulsive, and don't say "if you don't leave, I'll leave" to your children, which will bring too much harm to them.
1, making children feel insecure.
For children, parents are the world. Such a sentence makes children hear that they have lost the whole world, and a sentence spoken by parents always makes children feel scared.
Parents' original intention is only to threaten children, and children don't know their parents' original intention. When children get up, they suddenly find that their parents are no longer around, which will bring fear to their hearts.
This kind of fear will affect children's attitude towards the world and the surrounding environment, and even have nightmares at night.
2. Put your child in danger.
Dangerous liaisons is concerned about children's personal safety, because too young children basically don't know how to protect themselves, and the excessive fear and anxiety caused by sudden separation from their parents are likely to bring danger to themselves. Even if they know how to cross the street, they will be caught off guard, because children just want to catch up with their parents and have no idea that danger has arrived.
When we turn our backs on our children, we never know what happened behind us. Anything can happen at this time, which may involve the personal safety of children.
Maybe at this time, there will be a devil's hand reaching out to the child, and there may be unexpected troubles that will cause accidental harm to the child.
Parents want to protect their children, but once they leave, the children lose an umbrella and increase the danger.
3. Let the child's growth path go in the wrong direction.
Children's growth should be guided by parents, so that children can walk on the right path, but some parents have not guided their children, but have taken them in the wrong direction. Parents who are used to threatening their children will increase their rebellious attitude, and children will also have rebellious attitude towards their parents, so that children will learn to make trouble without reason, and even learn to threaten their parents with their own safety in turn.
As adults, we should control our emotions. As parents, how can they be angry with their children?
If you lose the bet, you will get a domineering child; If we win the bet, we will get the children's fear and threatened safety.
In the face of children's indifference, we should be smart parents:
1, put away your bad temper
Aristotle said: "It is not difficult for anyone to be angry, but it is even harder to be angry with the right object at the right time and in the right way."
Children just want to play games. Some parents will yell or scold their children, and some will lose their temper with their children, leaving a cold back. Children choose to catch up with their parents, not because they become obedient, but because they have more fears.
Smart parents please put away their bad temper and give their children more gentleness and communication.
2. Don't "throw" the child.
"If you don't go, I'll go", this sentence makes parents try their best, but it is destroying their young hearts step by step and pushing them to the edge of more fear.
Every child will catch up, not because their parents won, but because they are afraid of losing their parents.
Turning away is to add fear and danger to children.
3. Learn to communicate with children
Communication is the best way for parents to talk with their children, and it is also the best way to solve problems. For children who can't scream, parents can try to say what they think first. "Do you think it's fun here?" Get the child's affirmation first, then tell the child the reason for going home, and give the child a promise. When shall we come again next time?
At any time, communication is better than being angry with children. When parents can't help being angry with their children, please think about the consequences first.
There is a good saying: the best parents will never make their children feel strange and afraid; Happy families will not have sharp accusations and angry beatings; There is warmth in words, every move is the destination of love, and it is the best growth gift that parents give their children.
In the face of children who are "disobedient" for a while, what we have to do is not to lose our temper with them and let them get out of control by violent means. What we have to do is to put away our bad temper and be gentle parents. Don't be angry with them casually and don't put them in danger.
The most important thing for parents is to learn to communicate with their children, understand their hearts and learn to have a gentle dialogue with them. This is the most positive and best education for your children.
Children are growing up, and parents also know how to handle some discretion. Don't hurt children at will because of their emotions.