Because many mothers will return to work after maternity leave.
So at this time, young parents will face a multiple-choice question, "Is the child good for grandma or good for grandma?"
There have also been heated discussions on this issue. There is a treasure mother group in the community, and everyone will discuss the topic of children together.
During a chat, a treasure mother raised her own confusion: she said that she had no time to take care of the children and had to get paid. Should she give them to her grandmother or her grandmother?
This question has stirred up a thousand waves, and treasure moms have appeared in various ways.
Chen Chen's mother: My children have always been taken care of by my grandmother. I don't see anything wrong. My grandmother took care of the baby after it was born, and now she naturally takes over. The child likes her grandmother very much.
After all, it is her great-grandson, and grandma loves children very much.
Everyday mom: My mother-in-law is too strong. I dare not let her take care of the children, saying that she did something wrong, and she immediately lost her temper. I dare not give her direct advice after several times.
Even if I say a few words politely, my mother-in-law will think too much and make me nervous. Consider whether to let my grandmother take it. After all, I am my own mother, so I don't have to be so careful.
Xinxin's mother: the old man takes care of the children and can't ask too much else. Like early childhood education, you still need to worry about Ma Bao. So I think it's almost the same whether grandma takes it or grandma takes it.
Mother Xuan: My son was brought up by his grandmother from birth, because his grandmother said he didn't like boys and people loved his granddaughter, so the child didn't want to go to his grandmother's house. I have been in primary school for a month now, and I have met my grandmother once or twice.
There are all kinds of opinions in the group, and the situation is different. Some say grandma is good, and some say grandma takes care of the baby.
In fact, we can analyze who will take care of the baby from a psychological point of view. David M. Buss, an American psychologist, did a study in the book Evolutionary Psychology.
The conclusion is: if we must rank the intimacy between the elderly and the children, the order is first grandma, then grandpa, and grandpa.
It is said that this order uses psychological cues. Many parents-in-law have a mentality of "completing the task" when watching their daughter-in-law give birth to a child, and this worry disappears after the daughter-in-law gives birth to a child.
Parents love their children because they love their daughters. On the surface, I love my baby, but in fact I love my daughter, so I want to share as much as possible to make my daughter's life easier.
The ranking given by this psychologist may be slightly different from what parents think. Do you agree with this ranking?
Generally, children's personality has basically developed before the age of 6, and their imitation ability is very strong, so some bad words and deeds of adults will also be learned by children.
So no matter who brings it, adults should pay attention to their words and deeds.
The first point: set a good example for children.
The character and morality of the elderly are very important. Because taking care of children requires great patience, an old man with a bad temper and unable to control his emotions is not suitable for taking care of children.
For example, some disobedient old people are beaten.
I have seen my cousin's old man beat his disobedient grandson and broke his broom. In fact, it's a trivial matter. The old man may just be angry and can't control his emotions.
Therefore, in the child's young mind, he left a deep fear. It is estimated that he won't make similar mistakes again in the future, and he will be scared.
The second point: don't spoil your child and avoid being called "disgusting" by your child.
In some rural areas, the old people still have the habit of preferring sons to daughters. In her hometown, there is an old woman who seriously prefers sons to daughters.
She treats her granddaughter with a slap in the face, and treats her grandson with whatever she wants. Even her younger brother bullies her younger sister. The old man not only did not stop her, but even "applauded".
As a result, the grandson is 4 years old and his temper is getting bigger and bigger. Instead of buying his favorite toys, he punched and kicked adults and even called them disgusting.
When the father saw his son like this, he was so angry that he wanted to be beaten, but Wang Apo stopped him and said that the child was still young and would be fine when he grew up.
Wang Apo regards doting as a child's "honey", but she doesn't know that it is likely to become a child's "poison".
The third point: the correct way to raise children.
Many post-80s and post-90s should have experienced the education of beating and cursing.
Now everyone pays attention to scientific parenting. If the education of beating and cursing is to strengthen memory, it is also an excellent way to strengthen memory by letting children deal with their own mistakes.
The author's information is:
Who the child is close to depends on who the child has been in contact with for longer before he is 3 years old. Families with conditions had better let their mothers take care of their babies themselves.
Lu Qin, a famous children's news editor of China Youth Daily, once said: Children should be brought up by their mothers, so that children can kiss their mothers and both mothers and children will feel safe. Children who are close to their mothers are the psychological capital for their mothers to educate their children.