Prospective parents should be prepared for the advantages and disadvantages of having a second child. Many families want to have two babies, which is better for the baby's development. Since the liberalization of the second child policy, many families have joined the army of having a second child, so prospective parents should be psychologically prepared for the advantages and disadvantages of having a second child.

Advantages and disadvantages of having a second child Parents-to-be should be prepared psychologically.

The common fault of the only child is not easy to develop.

There will be a comparison between children to see who is the smart director. Adults will praise and encourage those who are behind, and children will unconsciously develop in a good direction.

Rich parenting experience can be reused.

The couple are exploring parenting methods in practice. With the growth of children, parents' parenting experience is also accumulating. They have become experts in child disease care, early childhood education and good habit cultivation, and their valuable practical experience can be fully reused.

Many items of the first child are reused, and the cost of raising is reduced.

Nowadays, people pay attention to scientific parenting, and the things they buy for their children are not sloppy at all. If you have another child, the child's clothes and early education supplies can be reused, and the commodity price can be calculated at a 50% discount. Isn't that a waste?

You can have more helpers to take care of the elderly in the future.

People need someone to take care of them when they are old and sick. If you have more children, you can share these things to the greatest extent.

Reduce the trauma caused by natural and man-made disasters to parents.

People living in the world are likely to encounter all kinds of things. Earthquake, disease, car accident, suicide, etc. Can take people's lives. The one-child family will suffer more unbearable pain in the face of such an accident. If there were many children, this would not happen.

Children help each other to cope with various social challenges.

Brothers and sisters are the people who can help each other most in life. If you are an only child, you will not enjoy the treatment of putting all your eggs in one basket. Nowadays, society pays attention to going hand in hand, and going it alone is not conducive to individual survival and development.

Meet the "beautiful" wishes of the family.

Both sons and daughters are our criteria for judging family happiness. The expectation for children here is that boys and girls are the best in the family. They helped to beat their backs, and their daughters came and needed their sons to support their families. When they carry on the family line, their son will appear. It's really a dream come true!

Disadvantages of having a second child

Increased economic pressure

We can hardly support ourselves. Although the children born after 1980s are all only children, all the money saved at home has been used to buy a house. Winter is coming, and mortgage, property fees, children's insurance fees ... have not been solved. The economy of having a second child is even more difficult.

I don't have enough energy to take care of two children.

If you have two children, the two children can't have the same schedule. One child is asleep and the other child is still alive. Looks like I'm going to sleep for a long time Finally, when this baby went to sleep, the other baby was awake. Can you handle such wheel tactics?

Two children should be given a love.

Children are the most sensitive. She can feel that your love for her is obviously not as much as before. There will be a gap in her heart and she will think you are partial. After having Bauer, she will no longer love her, which will bring irreparable harm to her young mind.

Couples have less "sweet" time.

If you have two babies, your father will have more financial pressure and spend more time at work. Mom has to take turns to take care of two children, and her energy is limited. So there are fewer sweet times of love and touching.

The money for having children and raising children.

Parents have been spending money since pregnancy. Before birth, there are various birth check-up fees, natural delivery or caesarean section fees, and hospitalization fees. After birth, milk powder, clothes, toys and illness all cost money, especially when children are sick, which can torture the whole family physically and mentally.

Money for educating children

At the age of 3, the child has to go to kindergarten. Nowadays, going to kindergarten in some big cities costs more than going to primary and secondary schools. For example, in Beijing, you have to grab places to go to some good public kindergartens, and there are many people waiting in line to find objects in the middle of the night, while private kindergartens can't afford thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars a month. After that, primary and secondary schools should not think that spending money will be less. In order to prevent children from losing at the starting line, all kinds of training courses have to be reported.

Housing upgrade fee

Originally, two bedrooms were enough, but having a second child was obviously not enough. If two girls are okay, if they are male, female or two boys, they have to prepare two bedrooms. It costs a lot to change a small room into a big one. When children grow up, parents begin to save money desperately to buy a house or pay a down payment for their children, especially their sons. Now it has become a custom to get married and buy a house in many places. This trend may not change after 20 years. If it's two sons, parents are enough.

Opportunity cost

The visible money spent is an explicit cost, but the invisible hidden cost is greater. If you have a second child, it means that women will suffer another round of crime. From pregnancy to childbirth to parenting, it will not stop until primary school. Women's career will be affected, and promotion and salary increase will slow down. If a mother or mother-in-law takes care of the children, it's ok. If the woman has no one to take care of her, she must quit her job and be a full-time mother at home. In this way, her ten-year career was ruined. Don't think that her children can go out to work when they are old. After taking care of them at home for so many years, her knowledge and skills are outdated and her brain can't turn around. She can only do some worthless work all her life. In addition, if you are a child, the family burden will be lighter, and you may travel or go on vacation during the holidays. If it's two children, they won't even have the mind to play. This kind of life is terrible to think about.

What should I consider when having a second child?

Financial problems: The cost of having two children is almost twice that of having one child. Or many people say that the living standard is so much better now, how dare they not have children? At that time, their parents were so poor that they had two or three children. But I want to say that the current consumption level is different from before. Social competition cannot be mentioned in the same breath. I used to only care about students. Early education, talents, extra-long classes and training courses are all floating clouds. It is best to have food, clothes and go to college. Many students dropped out of junior high school or high school and went out to work. Nowadays, children don't eat if they don't eat well, and they are embarrassed to go out if they don't wear well. Everyone goes to early education and has talent. If your children don't, they will be laughed at and feel inferior easily.

Therefore, before a couple gives birth to a second child, they must consider their own financial situation and whether they can afford their children's future education ... If the education of their children is not done well, the children are likely to be eliminated in social competition and become inferior. Therefore, from the perspective of children, it is better not to raise them.

Child care: Compared with economic considerations, who will take care of children is obviously equally worthy of attention. When you are a baby, maybe you can consider letting your parents take care of you and enjoy the parent-child time when you come back from work. But after having two babies, the first thing to consider is whether the parents are old enough to withstand the tossing of two children. Secondly, even if parents can help you take care of your two children, when you come back from work at night, both children want to be close to their mothers and enjoy happy time with them. After a day's work, their mother will take two children to play when she comes home. Is there enough energy in the long run? If you quit your job to be a full-time mother, you will lose some income, and if you lose these income, you will have the responsibility of being a baby. It is also a question whether dad can bear the expenses of this family. This in turn involves economic issues. It seems that the economic base determines the superstructure, which is also applicable in the family!

Age: Single couples should have children early, not too late. First, when the husband and wife are in their twenties, their parents are generally in their fifties and sixties, and their physical condition is relatively good, so they basically don't need the care of the husband and wife. If the couple have children in their thirties, their parents may be in their sixties and seventies by then, and it is inevitable that they cannot take care of both the children and the elderly. The main reason is that the pregnancy rate of elderly couples has decreased. After successful pregnancy, the risk of older pregnant women is higher. After the baby is born, the postpartum mother will slowly recover! In short, couples who have the idea of having a second child should give birth as soon as possible.

The problem of having a boy and a girl: most couples who want a second child still want to have a son and a girl, but this is often not what people want. So if the gender of the second child is not what you want, can parents or even two families really accept this result from their hearts? Especially in areas where son preference is serious, if the first child is a girl and the second child is a daughter, can the husband's family accept it? Does mom have the courage and ability to face the pressure from all sides? Will my father affect my feelings? Or do you want to find out the sex of the child by B-ultrasound in advance, and abort it if it is a girl? It is not easy to have a boy at the first birth, so many people worry that the second child is a boy, which will bring too much economic pressure and worry that they will not be able to marry a good wife for their children in the future. ...

Pay more time and energy.

Nowadays, most of the second-born children, families and the elderly are too old to help look after the children, so this will lead to the mother staying at home alone, taking care of the family and taking care of the children, being overwhelmed every day and not having much rest time. Therefore, after giving birth to a second child, women will have to pay more time and energy, so you should be fully psychologically prepared.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Having a Second Child Parents-to-be are psychologically prepared. 2 Do you want to have a second child?

I believe many mothers have thought about this problem. Whether you are newly married or have given birth to your first child, you can consider the following points when considering giving birth to a second child:

I. Physical and mental condition

First of all, in terms of physical condition, it is best to separate the first child from the second child for more than one year, so that the uterus and body can fully recover; Furthermore, modern people generally marry late. According to the statistics of the national health department of the Ministry of Health and Welfare, the average age of the first child of boys and girls in China is over 30 years old, which means that many people are over 30 years old after their first child, and they are already elderly women in clinic when they have a second child every two or three years. So can their physical fitness support them? Is there any risk? Is a big consideration.

If Dabao is 2 or 3 years old, he is in the stage of crazy desire to play and travel, but if he wants to have a second child, he should consider whether he has physical strength and time, and at the same time, he should raise a baby and accompany Dabao Luo! Having a second child will also go through a hard process such as morning sickness, fatigue, labor pains, breastfeeding and complementary food. Mothers should evaluate their physical strength and psychological will before making a decision!

Second, economic ability.

Many people think it will cost twice as much to have two children, but please think about it first. "How much it costs to raise children is actually a valuable choice." Does Bauer have to buy new supplies and clothes or use Dabao? Is this school public or private? Do you want to take a talent class? Parents are advised to clarify their parenting values first. If they want to give their children the best material things, they should measure the financial situation of their families. Will it be tight to have a second child?

In addition, Bauer's birth will inevitably lead to more money expenditure, and more importantly, more "time" will be spent on children, which will change the original lifestyle of adults and even affect their quality of life. For example, a family of three can go abroad twice a year, but with Bauer, they can only go abroad once every two years. Is this acceptable?

Third, others.

Is there an elderly support system at home? Can parents balance working hours? What is your career plan? These problems will also affect whether it is suitable to have a second child. Parents are advised to take stock of existing resources before deciding!

Those excuses and countermeasures about having a second child.

"What? Why? What a pity that Dabao has no one to accompany him! "

Why is he so pathetic? Everyone loves him, and the whole focus is only on him. He is busy eating, drinking and having fun every day. How can he be pitiful?

And all the parenting resources in the family are exclusive to him, and favorites are the best, aren't they?

Besides, when he grows up, he will enter kindergarten, have friends and classmates, and have his own life circle.

So I think unless he has personal factors (such as bad communication with people), I will feel a little pity for Bauer to satisfy that he will not be lonely. . . . . .

"He won't know how to share it like this."

Knowing how to share is related to academic qualifications, and has nothing to do with having two treasures. I believe we have also met a cheapskate with many brothers and sisters and the gentleness of many only children.

Lesbians also have friends who are only children. They will share and be considerate.

"Give him a brother, let them play by themselves, and let them relax a little later."

To some extent, I don't like this sentence, because then I will feel that Bauer's arrival seems to be tailor-made for Dabao, which is a bit unfair to Bauer. Erbao, don't live for your own comfort.

"You will be born once, and you will be tired once you are tired!"

Frankly speaking, I dare not give birth. I admit that half of them were frightened by Bao Fei. Bao Fei is the God of War (high-demand baby), which is still fresh in the memory of the whole family. I must especially emphasize that it is the whole family to commemorate that bitter and hard parenting life!

In addition, everyone's family situation is different. Some of my friends' in-laws live close to their parents' homes and have too many comrades. Of course, if you consider giving birth to two treasures, you don't hesitate.

But this is for Lala whose family is in Zhongli and Yilan. . . . . . Even if you really want to have Erbao in the future, it is definitely not now.

"The first child is a daughter, and then spell a good boy!"

Lala is the boss at home and has a younger brother behind her.

I think when my mother gave birth to me, the older generation were sighing, why didn't I bring it?

Even when my mother was pregnant, the doctor clearly showed that it was a girl through ultrasound, but she told her elders that she couldn't take it!

Later, three years later, I gave birth to my younger brother. At that time, my elders praised me, "Great! Recruit a younger brother! "

It sounds like a compliment, but at that time, for me, I thought to myself, "I originally existed only for my brother." . . . . . "

Don't think that children don't understand. I was only three and a half years old then. I still know this feeling very well. When I grow up, I can only describe it in words.

This influence continued until primary school. Some elders wrapped red envelopes for the New Year, only for their younger brothers, but not for me, just because I was a daughter.

And even if they did give it to me, the elders would still attach a sentence: "It's time to give it to you. Without you, my brother wouldn't come! " "

These words have influenced my life and made me misunderstand my parents for several years, thinking that they don't love me at all, but only love my brother. They stumbled through many things before finally knowing that their parents really love themselves.

In view of this, I think if you really want to have Bauer, no matter whether it's male or female, Dabao can't misunderstand that you exist for Bauer, or even because you are a girl (boy), your mother will have another boy (girl).

In addition, I am glad that I married a family expecting girls.

A Fei's family had no daughters for three generations, so when Bao Fei was born, the whole world was celebrating. My father-in-law even broke the tradition and asked her to typeset my daughter's name. Girls didn't typeset in the past.

Also, if I really want to play word games, I can also say that my "daughter" is actually my child "son". As a woman, she is a "good" word in itself. (Laughter)

"After this incident, Dabao is under great pressure! To feed you both. "

This is the same as the logic that I said earlier that it is relaxing to have two treasures. I don't think it should be a plan to have two treasures for my own relaxation.

Bauer's arrival should not be to share the pressure of Dabao's future, but another life expectation. In addition, in modern society, it is not necessarily absolute to raise children to prevent old age, otherwise there will not be so many elderly people living alone with many children and grandchildren who need social care.

For my child, I'm not sure and I dare not expect him to accompany me to the end. ), just ask him to grow up in peace and not do bad things.

Then I believe Bao Fei won't be so heartless. (still have to believe in your children! Don't you think? )

Also (taking back the microphone), Lala wants to emphasize that it is not easy to have children, whether you have Dabao or Bauer, but it is more difficult to raise children than to have children.

Always urging others for two treasures, have you ever thought that everyone's situation is different? After birth, my husband and I have to bear it, and others can't give financial support.

Having a baby is a beautiful dream, but the reality is cruel after all.

Therefore, it is even more important to mention here-economic considerations, whether you can make ends meet, and whether you can allow the expenses of one more family member, at least for 20 years.

Have all these factors been taken into account? Of course, if you get pregnant unexpectedly, you still need to adjust and reevaluate immediately before welcoming Bauer.

What's the difference between the second child and the first child?

Having a second child is as difficult as having a first child. The only difference is that when you encounter problems, you will not be overly nervous because of your own experience. However, when giving birth to a second child, mommy can pay special attention to the following points:

1, the fetal movement of the second child will come earlier than that of the first child, because with the experience of the first child, the second child will know that it is fetal movement.

2. The second child's morning sickness is not so obvious, but not everyone has it; If the first child has symptoms such as gestational diabetes or hypertension, the second child may also appear. It is suggested that doctors should take the initiative to inform doctors about the first child during prenatal examination.

3. The examination items and medical insurance subsidies for the second child are basically the same as those for the first child, except that the mother who is "over 34 years old" has an amniocentesis. In other words, under no special circumstances, amniocentesis must be done at your own expense before the age of 34; After the age of 34, you can get subsidies according to regulations (editor's note: since 20 14, the subsidy fee has increased from 2000 yuan to 5000 yuan).

4. Is the second child in labor fast? According to the mother's baby report, Wu Changcheng, an obstetrician and gynecologist, said that the second child is usually born faster than the first child, but it is not necessarily five years apart! Therefore, if the second-born mother starts to have labor pains, she will feel that she is going to give birth. Please send her to see a doctor as soon as possible. Don't take it lightly.

5. Can the first child be delivered by caesarean section and the second child be delivered naturally?

Natural delivery after caesarean section is an adventure in the current medical environment. After all, natural childbirth is easy to cause uterine rupture and massive bleeding, which may endanger the life of mother and baby. If you really want to have a natural birth, you must first look at the size of the baby. If it's too big, it won't fit. At the same time, before delivery, you can ask whether there is a professional team in the hospital to give birth naturally after caesarean section, which is relatively safe.