You have given birth to three children, and you should have rich experience in caring for them.
My class is playing tricks on others. My advice to you is to take active or passive measures to resolve conflicts according to the situation.
Offer to help, it's your call. One is not to help anyone. You only have one pair of hands, so you can't take care of three children at the same time. In order to be fair, they don't take any of them and will find a way to solve them themselves;
The second is the payment subsidy belt. If economic conditions permit, they will be funded to ask a nanny to take care of them;
The third is to take the initiative to negotiate with the three in-laws. But it is best to pay for help;
The fourth is the concentrated belt. If the distance is suitable and the housing permits, letting them send their children to your home every day and pick them up at night is equivalent to setting up a nursery at home. If you old couple feel overwhelmed, please ask the nanny for help, and the expenses must be shared equally, so as not to cause unnecessary wrangling and thankless work.
Passive help is to let the children have the final say. It is clear that only one child can be brought, and the child will discuss who to help. Finally, I will tell you the result of the discussion, and you will act according to the result of their discussion.
Children with three children can't be born on the same day in the same year. The process of letting them discuss is the process of complaining and understanding each other, and it is also the process of understanding their parents.
Brothers and sisters are likely to consult each other for affection, tolerance, style and harmony.
My views are for reference only.
As the saying goes, "listen to the sound, listen to the sound of gongs and drums"! From the topic's statement of the problem, you can hear that if you think that your children's children all want you to help them, then your own judgment is a little beyond your own physical condition and energy.
I think your judgment is objective and correct! All three children under your knee have married. Judging from the current situation, it is becoming more and more normal for a couple to have a pair of children. Your three children are estimated to have at least 4 5 babies! If you have to help take care of these children, it will take about 7 8 years to go back and forth. Without good health and abundant energy, it is definitely impossible.
If you feel at a loss, you should make a decision early. If it is broken, it will be chaotic! The baby of three children needs your help to take care of them, regardless of rotation. This task is a bit heavy, but you can't give up. As the saying goes, you can fall behind a group of people! If the end of a bowl of water is uneven and the baby with this one doesn't have that one, there will be a lot of complaints and complaints, and your fatigue will be in vain! This is called ingratitude.
In fact, as long as you tell your child your physical strength and energy and don't promise to take care of your baby for any family, I believe the child will understand. At least the child will not have psychological imbalance!
My answer is: first of all, congratulations. You are an expert in parenting. You raised three children by yourself, and all the children want you to help them. This shows your ability. Your body is great, which is a recognition of your ability and sense of responsibility. Your heart should feel happy and gratified. In my opinion, you have to live with yourself first. You really want to help them when your ability and health are not a problem. Until the children are going to kindergarten, if they happen to be born together, taking them to your home and letting the nanny help you can also solve the problem. Therefore, it depends on human efforts. If you can't convince yourself, then you shouldn't take them. They will find their own way, and there is nothing to say. Children can still be brought up.
Draw lots and take them to the person who catches them.
One person can't take care of three children at the same time! I can't help it I can only take one. Who are you taking? This is a problem.
A son with a daughter is unhappy without a son; The daughter is unhappy with her son; Or bring this son and another son unhappy. If you can cover everything, you will never be happy.
In this way, it can only be solved by drawing lots. This is fair, reasonable and just. Let the three children take it orally, avoid unnecessary troubles, and then affect the discord between the children, and even turn against each other.
At the same time, tell them: the palms of the hands are all meat, and it doesn't matter who the children bring. So, let them get the knowledge of * * * and agree to this method, which will save the trouble of argument.
If they don't agree to do so, they angrily declare "no!" " "Everyone is arguing that it is impossible to split me in half. Everyone has a share! In that case, I might as well be uncomfortable with anyone.
Of course, you don't have to draw lots. Generally speaking, they take their grandchildren first, and then they take their grandchildren. Let's see who is the busiest of the two sons, whose family is the most tired, and whose economic conditions are not very affluent. It should be feasible to give support and take care of children. But I want to make it clear to the other two children that I am not partial to who loves whom, but actually respect objective facts and "help the weak." However, if you are an independent person, just choose one. No one can help you. This is your power, your freedom and your preference. Raise children and raise the third generation for children. This is a pity to inherit the wind. They are all children, so it's hard to choose. I am really worried about my parents.
When parents are old, they should think more about themselves, or what should we do if there are three diseases and six disasters? Think more about yourself.
Children and grandchildren have their own blessings, or let them bear their own obligations, and it is good to be safe when they are old!
Faced with this situation, I think the specific problems should be analyzed in detail. If the body allows, the child does have difficulties, then help! After all, it is your own children who are in trouble and can't stand idly by. Don't!
In order not to produce contradictions and differences, no one will show it! Say that you are not healthy and can't accept this pressure. It is a hard job to look after children, and the responsibility is heavy and hard! No one shows it, let them solve their own difficulties! They won't complain to each other, and they won't have too much dissatisfaction with you! This is a wise choice. Help financially if you can. If not, then take care of your money and prepare for your future!
According to my experience, you have four ways to solve this problem.
1, whose children don't watch it.
There are many children, so it is important for the elderly to keep a bowl of water level. Otherwise, some children have opinions and make family conflicts.
2. Let your children send their children to your home. You are equivalent to running a small kindergarten. If you are short of hands, ask the nanny for help. If the money is not enough, let your children share it. It is not easy for two old people to take care of three children's food, clothing, housing and transportation.
You only take care of one child.
How to decide which child to see? Lottery, so fair and just, the child is lucky, and there will be no complaints if he can't catch it.
This family takes care of their children for one year.
It is fair to do so. The children discuss who will take care of the children first, or draw lots to decide.
Finally, talk about some of my experiences and understandings.
After the baby was born, my mother-in-law followed me to look after the baby. When the child was one year old, his brother's daughter was also born. My mother-in-law found a relative's 17-year-old girl to babysit her brother-in-law.
Maybe the little girl didn't take care of the children well enough, and her brother-in-law was not satisfied, so she asked her mother-in-law to go to her house to help her take care of the children. As a result, the mother-in-law was embarrassed and there was no separation.
One day, my sister-in-law came to my house with a child under one year old. She left the child at the door and the child cried. When I came home from work, my mother-in-law explained the reason.
Finally, the mother-in-law took herself back to her hometown, and whoever sent the child home would show it to him. The city where I work is 60 miles from my mother-in-law's hometown, and the place where my brother-in-law works is 3 miles from her hometown.
Because there was no direct bus, and I didn't have my own car at that time, I had to go back and forth between my hometown and school by bike, so I wouldn't go back in bad weather.
To be honest, at that time, I felt that my mother-in-law was not biased towards me, and I was unhappy. As I grew older, I understood my mother-in-law's difficulties.
My son just turned 2 years old, went to kindergarten and was picked up from his hometown. He is the youngest child in the kindergarten. Now that my son has a child, I understand that it is not easy for young people, so I came from other places to take care of my son.
Grandma Bao Xiao's advice and experience will help you find a solution to the problem. Netizens are also welcome to make suggestions.
Two sons and a daughter are married, and they gave birth to a fat doll after marriage.
Grandchildren are as close as grandchildren and don't care about their parents.
Think about it, children. My mother is dragging three babies.
Eat three meals a day on time with balanced nutrition.
Reading and writing need education, and today's children are all AI.
The son-in-law should understand, and so should the daughter-in-law.
Mom is old, and her body must not collapse.
I am grateful for my mother's love for her, and I don't want to find fault.
Children's work is also the first. Let's sit down and negotiate.
Please put someone in charge of the logistics department, and the parenting teacher will go home.
Mom is the commander-in-chief, and she is the supervisor.
The child is absorbed in his career, and his heart is put down when he goes out to work.
Entertainment and life are the same, and mom takes care of cute baby at home.
Children and grandchildren are around their knees, happy and self-reliant.