Wen-Ding Fei Language Source: (A writer's blog) I am the business manager of a foreign-funded enterprise. I was pursued twice by the rich second generation a few years ago, but I feel that I come from an ordinary working family, and I am worried that "the door is not right", hoping to find a man who is willing to live with me, even if he is not very rich. But because of busy work, I finally missed the best age to get married. I bought a house five years ago, and soon after, I met my husband through a friend's introduction. My husband comes from a remote mountain village in Hunan and is the first college student in the village. At that time, I thought my husband was from the countryside and was honest, so I got married only three months after I met him. I didn't ask for any gift money, no wine or even a wedding ring. Now I feel stupid and pathetic. I bought a house, paid for half the wedding photos, bought the bedding of the wedding bed, and paid for the baby and the full moon wine. I don't care about money, but maybe my behavior gave my husband the wrong message. He thought I was rich or he thought I was an unmarried woman. He saved me. Although my income is more than twice that of my husband (my husband's monthly income is about 6K, and I have 13K), I have always told my husband that my income is similar to his, so I can afford a house and lose the help of my family. So my husband will basically give me half of my income for family expenses and the other half for my hometown, but I will spend all my 6K on family expenses. Recently, he said that his hometown needs to do a lot of things, such as providing for the children of big brothers and big sisters to go to college and buying coffins for their parents in advance, so I can't give them half a year's living expenses. Let me try my best to save family expenses, such as not giving children milk powder; Stop the child's education insurance; Children don't have to wear too well, some wear it; I don't have to go to an early education class ... which makes me sad. We are just a child, and other families try their best to provide the best for their children, but he makes his wife and children suffer for his hometown. After getting married, I basically bought all my husband's clothes, and now it's hard for him to wear them for 300 years. After the New Year, several people came to my husband's hometown to look for jobs, and my home became a hotel again. With more housework, my husband is still dissatisfied with me, blaming me for not cooking according to his taste. Because there are many people, relatives have to lay the floor. He felt that I didn't tidy up the bedding, which made him feel sorry for his family and humiliated. I feel very tired. I feel like I have to earn money, do housework and take care of my children. My husband not only doesn't help me share, but also says that I nag him all day, which is not good for his family. After so many years of marriage, my husband hardly bought me a gift. My life has fallen from a petty bourgeoisie before marriage to a yellow-faced woman today, but I have not received any thanks. I feel exhausted. If it weren't for the children, I would even think of divorce. The house is in my name, the job is good, and I have a small sum of money in my hand. If I divorce, at least I will be much more financially free and my life may be easier. What should I do? Ding Fei replied: a typical combination of a big woman and a big man. A big woman is independent in character and thought, likes to do everything herself, and is also a diligent woman in thought and action. Compared with ordinary women, older women prefer to pay more for others and regard this kind of pay as a very happy thing. Especially in front of the person you love, you will spare no effort to pay. If such a woman meets a big man, especially a man with a good face and serious feudal thoughts, she needs to pay a lot to get the recognition of the other party, even love. You know, many men like gentle women who depend on him in their ideological life, or gentle women who are independent in their thoughts, but it is difficult for a strong woman who doesn't know how to be gentle to get men's love and favor, because more men still like to take care of a gentle woman who needs and depends on him. And a strong big woman will make other men fear or rely on, and this fear and dependence is not necessarily related to love. Everything that happens to men and women in this article is a common trivial matter in many people's lives, and many families will encounter and constantly solve problems. However, the starting point for the woman in this article to choose a marriage partner is wrong. From her rejection of the pursuit of the rich second generation, she knew that she was not confident in herself and felt inferior, so she lowered her standards and chose a man with lower shoulders than herself, and then got married. Then she arranged everything in the marriage and family. It can be said that finding such a wife is really too worry-free and very relaxed. A man who knows how to be considerate and satisfied with women will feel very happy, but on the contrary, the man she meets is not a man who will be considerate and satisfied with women, because the thoughts of big men are at work, and everything a woman pays for it is regarded as what she should do. Women have become home cash machines, cheap nannies and work machines. Men reflected from these family chores don't ask, don't tell, which also shows that there are too few elements of love in their marriage, and more are mutual benefits. So it is also the cause of female fatigue. There is nothing wrong with a woman paying an unnecessary price for love and family, and she should do the same. But people are really strange. Things that are too easy to get will never be valued and cherished. Moreover, in the case that women keep giving unconditionally, men have taken all this for granted, without much gratitude. On the contrary, they are indifferent to women's pay. It should be said that men have accepted all the efforts of women with a clear conscience and have become a habit. It can't be completely said that men are at fault, and women also have great responsibilities. It's not that women and men are required to divide their money clearly, but that women are too maternal and do everything, which will spoil men. Many habits are gradually developed. A family needs the participation of men and women to feel real happiness and happiness, and women's monologue is also the reason why men are indifferent. Women can put some pressure on men appropriately, or share trivial matters in the family with men, even if it is only a little trivial matter, so that men can understand that running a family is not an easy task.