Quietly from a single-parent family, he lived with his mother since childhood, and her mother demanded a lot of him. At the age of 3, she signed up for children's piano, taekwondo and early education classes. Every day, except for work, his mother takes him to various training institutions. He is unknown and has no friends. He doesn't like to play with other students in kindergarten, and he is always alone.
One day, his mother just came back from work and was about to take him to an early education class, but he ran to the room and closed the door. He didn't open it anyway. His mother was very angry and said to him, "Mom worked so hard to make you an excellent person in the future. Are you so ignorant and worthy of her hard work? " Your father is irresponsible. I didn't expect you to be an irresponsible person. How could I be so miserable! "When he said this, he squatted on the ground and cried. Soon, he silently opened the door, walked over and hugged his mother gently.
American psychologists have found that if parents or mothers suffer from anxiety, the risk of children living with them is seven times that of children in normal families.
Parents' anxiety will be passed on to their children, who have their own growth trajectory, and parents can't pass on their anxiety to their children. Zheng, the king of fairy tales, said: "Parents should carry the glory of their families on their backs and create a relaxed and comfortable environment for their children to grow up."
Lele has congenital heart disease, and the doctor told her not to do strenuous exercise. She grew up under the careful care of her parents. Sometimes she envies others to run freely in the sun, but she can only walk slowly. Later, she felt happy for herself. Her parents never forced her to do anything, and she was able to grow up freely according to her own wishes.
Her parents didn't enroll her in any extra-curricular remedial classes, but she got excellent grades in all subjects. She likes painting, so her parents try their best to create the best conditions for her to develop her hobbies.
Children's growth needs to be gradual, not overnight. What parents need to do is to create conditions for them to grow up slowly. As the saying goes, "it takes ten years for a tree to grow, but it takes more than ten years for a small seedling to grow into a towering tree, and it takes more time for a child to grow." Respect the law of children's growth and let them develop at their own pace. Parents should do the following: spend more time with their children.
Yiyi's parents worked in other places all the year round, leaving her to her grandparents in the country. Although parents often buy all kinds of beautiful clothes, shoes and toys for her, they have little time to really accompany her.
After the final exam every semester, my mother will call back and ask her if her exam results are good. If she does well, her mother will buy more toys to reward her. If she doesn't do well, her mother will call and teach her a lesson.
They often say to her, "The reason why mom and dad work so hard in the fields is to create a good living condition for Yiyi." Yiyi envies other people's parents being with their children.
For children, no matter how good the material conditions are, they can't compare with the company of their parents. When they feel lonely, when they encounter difficulties, if they are accompanied by their parents, they will be given the courage to overcome them.
Give your child a chance to try and make mistakes.
Tintin always wears his shoes backwards. His mother never blamed him, but patiently taught him how to distinguish the shape of the child and how to distinguish the left and right directions. After a while, Tintin can put on his shoes by himself.
Children begin to explore the world from birth. In this process, they may have to take many detours and make many mistakes. Parents should give their children time to explore, let them experience the ups and downs of life a little, and let their children have a colorful life.
Besides studying, there are many other possibilities in a child's life.
Duoduo likes dancing very much. As long as the beat of the music starts, she can dance along, but her parents won't let her learn to dance on the grounds that dancing will delay her study.
Duoduo's grades in school are average, and her parents invited a special tutor to help her with tutoring at home, but the effect was average. When the teacher is giving her a lecture, she is either absent-minded or always asks some tricky and weird questions, which makes the teacher unable to step down. Several teachers were angry with her. Mom and dad are very angry and hate her, but they are helpless.
Later, I took part in a dance competition and got good results. Mom and dad decided not to be obsessed with his academic performance, but to give her a chance to learn dance and let her develop her hobbies.
Psychologist Jung said, "Character decides fate".
In a long life, learning is only one of the links. Children don't necessarily get a happy life just by good grades, but their behavior habits, personality characteristics, ability to get along with others, communication and cooperation are also very important. Parents should respect their children's nature, let them adapt and run in, and finally find a growth rhythm suitable for their children.