Every day when I come back from work, my daughter-in-law will say in an accusing tone, "The sun is so bright today, why don't you take out the quilt to dry?" "There's nothing new about cooking again tonight." ...
And the mother-in-law, if she doesn't listen, goes back to find her daughter-in-law. When she listens, she will keep silent and sulk with a straight face.
At dinner, the daughter-in-law and her husband discussed: "Many of my colleagues send their children to early education. I heard that they can learn a lot. Otherwise, let's try? "
When my mother-in-law heard this, she was anxious: "Early education is a lie. It's not just fun. It costs money to play in that place I'd better take it with me. "
"Mom, how can early education deceive people? He is a professional teacher. Don't talk nonsense if you don't understand. " The daughter-in-law is busy correcting her mother-in-law.
"Listen, son, how do you think your daughter-in-law talks to me?" The mother-in-law quickly asked her son to move reinforcements.
"Okay, okay, stop it. That makes sense. Let's eat. " Son, come out and mix quickly.
This kind of scene is often seen in neighbors' houses, and we are not surprised that there are contradictions and quarrels at both ends every three days.
Really is "everlasting, everlasting; Sometimes both of them have to end, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is endless. " As long as there is a mother-in-law, there will be contradictions, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become the most difficult relationship for the whole family.
Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law so bad? Both sides have reasons.
There is an old saying in China that "a daughter-in-law can endure many years as a daughter". It seems that only when you are a mother-in-law can you have the right and keep your word in this family.
But it never occurred to me that social progress has been too fast in recent years and the status of women has been greatly improved. People gradually realize that in a family, not only the mother-in-law is the master, but also the young daughter-in-law has to fight for the corresponding rights and interests for herself.
Therefore, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was caused, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began to deteriorate. Both sides had reasons.
1. Mother-in-law: I am the elder of the family, and I have the final say.
Most of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, and the mother-in-law has a sense of substitution: I am the hostess of the family, this family belongs to my son, and my son's family is my home. I'm the elder of the family, so it's up to me to decide.
I have an aunt who is very strong and loves to be in charge. She can't take care of her family, so she has to take care of it when she goes back to her family. All her relatives hate her.
Once, I went back to my mother's house and washed dishes in the kitchen. She came in with a teacup and began to tell me what to do: "Yes, that's how the bowl should be washed. That's how the kitchen should be cleaned up. This is like a home. "
At that moment, I fought back my anger: "I want you to take care of it." Don't I know how to do housework when I am an adult? " But I tried not to respond to her.
Every time I go back to my mother's house, my aunt will scold my daughter-in-law in front of all relatives: If it gets worse, I will quarrel with her every three days.
I thought to myself, with your "power in hand, I don't know what to do" character, can it be contradictory? The daughter-in-law enrolled her little daughter in an early English class. You have to ridicule for a long time, saying that her daughter-in-law has too much money to spend. The daughter-in-law wants to buy a piano for her eldest daughter, and you are the first to object.
My aunt is a woman exactly like her neighbor's mother-in-law.
Remember: I can't grasp my position clearly, and my hand is too long. I always want to be the mother-in-law of the hostess. There is no one who doesn't dislike it.
Daughter-in-law: Your son and I form a small family, and I am the hostess.
Nowadays, young women have gradually awakened their self-awareness and understood that the relationship between husband and wife is the first in a family.
So the young daughter-in-law will think: the small family is composed of your son and me, and I am the hostess. Of course, everything should be up to me.
Like the daughter-in-law of a neighbor, it is a good thing that she wants to give her children early education and just wants to learn how to be a mother and provide them with good educational opportunities.
What about the mother-in-law In a hurry, the daughter-in-law wants to be a good mother. Can my daughter-in-law not be angry?
Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said: the relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of the family. If the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family and has the first say, then the family will be rock solid.
Therefore, the daughter-in-law wants to be the master and have the first say. The starting point is right, but the way of speaking and communication is wrong, which leads to the gap between her and her mother-in-law.
Two: How to live in harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and ease conflicts requires three steps.
1. Mother-in-law should have a sense of boundaries and take care of what is in charge.
As the saying goes, two tigers are not allowed in one mountain, let alone two tigers.
Mother-in-law helps her son and daughter-in-law take care of their children and live together. She should always remember to keep a certain distance from her son and daughter-in-law, and have a sense of boundaries. Whatever is in charge is in charge.
Some mother-in-law must think it strange for me to keep my son at arm's length. Is this not a joke?
But have you forgotten that your son has grown up and become a husband and father? He is not only a son, but also a husband and father.
Therefore, the mother-in-law should let go properly and not take care of everything. If you want to be the master of your own house and be the children of your parents, you should be happy. Don't stop them from studying. Even if they finally find the mistake, it is on the way to learning to be parents, so treat it as an opportunity to try and make mistakes.
You should remember that your son and daughter-in-law are the core of a small family and the same body.
Daughters-in-law should learn to respect the opinions of the elderly, discuss them well, and pay attention to the big ones and put the small ones aside.
It is normal and a good thing for a daughter-in-law to want to be the master of her own house, which shows that she has a heavy sense of family responsibility and cares for her family. However, don't forget that the mother-in-law, as a member of the family, cares about family affairs out of kindness and also wants to relieve the pressure on her son and daughter-in-law. For example, the neighbor's daughter-in-law wants to enroll in preschool classes, which is the current social trend. Many people want to know, but it's expensive.
As a daughter-in-law, don't rush to refute your mother-in-law when she expresses her opinion. On the one hand, the thinking level of the elderly is not as good as that of the young; On the other hand, the knowledge of the elderly can't keep up with the trend; The third aspect, which is also an old idea, is that there is nothing wrong with trying to save money.
Daughter-in-law should learn to have something to say, don't go online and attack personally, discuss it well, and learn to grasp the big and let go of the small.
On major issues, discuss with your husband and solve countermeasures; In small matters, take care of them if you can, but not just give them to your mother-in-law and turn a blind eye. I can relax myself and save time and energy. Why not?
For example, there is no bask in the quilt in Sun Popo, so you don't have to worry about blaming your mother-in-law. Maybe she was too busy with the children to remember. You can suggest: Mom, the sunshine is very good these days. When you are free, take out the quilt to air and have a comfortable sleep.
3. When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, men come forward to coordinate in time.
Wise men hide at both ends, fools scatter at both ends.
Su Mingzhe in Everything is Fine is such a silly man. He seems to have a high degree, high income and graduated from a prestigious school. In fact, he is a typical man with high IQ and low EQ.
Su Mingzhe wants to take Su's father to America for the aged. His wife, Wu Fei, said that her father-in-law had no imbalance between ears and water, so he was not suitable for long-distance flights.
Su Mingzhe didn't even think about it, so he directly revealed the truth that Su Mu didn't want to come to the United States to wait on her daughter-in-law, and put the hat with unbalanced earwax on Fu Su's head.
Wu Fei suddenly became angry, which caused her mother to retire two years early to take care of herself and lost a large pension.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the contradiction between Weng and daughter-in-law, took root at this time.
Smart men will not only create contradictions between their wives and parents, but also skillfully coordinate contradictions and solve them in time.
Give your mother face and speak well of her wife in front of her; Leave the lining to your wife, close the door in front of her, and say that your mother, who is old and has less knowledge, can still say such poor words. Praise your wife and let her know that you have been treating your wife.
This way, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be very stiff.
There is no mother-in-law relationship. It was only because they fell in love with a man at the same time that they crossed paths and became mother-in-law.
As long as there are people, there will be contradictions and contradictions. Don't be afraid. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should always know their position, keep a certain distance and draw a clear line. A mother-in-law should not care too much about her daughter-in-law, but always wants to be a hostess. Daughter-in-law should also learn to respect her mother-in-law, pay attention to the big and let go of the small, and ask her for advice on small things so that her mother-in-law can find a sense of existence and importance.
Men should not be partial to one side, or just stand on the mother's side and ignore their wives; Or simply stand by your wife and accuse your mother of being a lubricant between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live in harmony.
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