My friend's daughter has been lively and smart since she was a child. She has been taking early education classes since she was 2 years old. Although she is young, she has learned a lot. I can recite ancient poems when I am over 3 years old. At the age of 4, you can learn some simple addition and subtraction. You can also speak some simple English fluently. Small mouth can be sweet.
Recently, however, my friend is very worried. From kindergarten to large class, she suddenly became "stupid" quietly. She said, "I used to learn things quietly and quickly, but now I learn even the simplest singing and digital painting very slowly."
In fact, a large part of what parents say about children becoming "stupid" is "learned". So people call it "learned stupidity".
Learned stupidity: refers to the fact that most children feel powerless in learning for some reason, lose self-confidence and self-motivation, and become "the more they learn, the more stupid they become".
Children's studies are getting worse and worse. How do children become "stupid"? 1. Children's higher education
Many parents are keen on advanced education, regardless of their children's actual physical and mental development, and let their children accept knowledge that is inconsistent with their physical and mental development too early, hoping that their children can have a higher starting point than others. Learning in advance can easily make children feel frustrated. Children struggle with their learning ability and slowly lose interest in learning, which eventually leads to worse and worse academic performance.
2. Too high a learning goal
Parents eager for success are always used to setting too high learning goals for their children. Children do their best but can't meet their parents' requirements, or the content of learning is far beyond their understanding. Too high a learning goal will hurt children's self-confidence, make them feel depressed and powerless, and gradually children will lose interest in learning.
Children get too many negative hints.
When a child's academic performance is unsatisfactory or encounters setbacks, parents will blame the child and think that the child is not doing well enough, and some negative words such as "idiot, idiot" will come out casually, which will hurt the child's self-esteem. Too many negative hints will make children feel depressed. In fact, children have been working hard and are easily denied by their parents. This is the real reason why children give up learning.
In fact, many parents around us have shown the phenomenon of "children becoming stupid". Parents believe that since children become stupid, they must spend more time and thought on their studies. After all, "stupid birds fly first." If the child has tried his best, then even if parents spend more time and thought on the child, it is difficult for the child's performance to be greatly improved.
What are the bad effects of "learned stupidity" on children? 1. becomes uninterested in learning.
As soon as parents find their children stupid, they first think that their children are not working hard enough, so naturally they should spend more time on their studies. In the face of parents' incomprehension, children are prone to resistance, and parents can't see it. Gradually, children become unwilling to learn.
2. Become inferior and introverted
Because of poor study, parents will think that children will become stupid. Slowly, children may really feel that they are really stupid, and they will feel that they are more stupid than others, and gradually feel inferior and unconfident.
3. Produce a lot of negative emotions
It is a heavy burden for children to face all kinds of negation and incomprehension of their parents and the increasing new learning tasks of their parents. A large number of negative emotions accumulate in children's minds, and children are prone to psychological problems over time, which has a serious impact on their physical and mental development.
Every child will have "learned stupidity" more or less, and no child is born stupid. Parents should encourage their children to grow into better people! In order to reduce the occurrence of children's "learning stupidity", parents should let their children face failure correctly and learn from it. At the same time, parents should also lower their expectations of their children and not put pressure on them. Let children choose to do what they are interested in, so as to improve their interest in learning.
How to avoid the problem of "learned stupidity" in children? 1. Respect children's nature
Parents give their children too many interest classes when they should have fun, which is actually a phenomenon of disrespect for their children. This shows the selfish side of parents. Parents deprive their children of their nature for their own sake. Parents should respect their children's nature, and let them get in touch with nature and communicate with children of the same age at the age when they should play. Instead of sending their children to various interest classes, parents can also spend some time to let their children learn something useful. However, parents must always remember to respect their children's nature.
2. Evaluate children objectively
We have to admit that some children are born smart and do well in school. But no matter how hard some children try, their grades are not good. At this time, parents should not force their children too much, because learning this thing still needs to pay attention to certain talents. Parents should objectively evaluate their children, whether they are learning materials or not. If children spend a lot of time and energy, their grades will not improve. This shows that the child's level may have reached the limit. At this time, parents should not let their children spend all their time on study, and it may be better to spend it on other things.
3. Give children some space
It is said that I was born useful, and every child should have something he is good at. Just because a child's grades are not good doesn't mean that the child will be finished for life. Children must have other strengths, but parents and children have not found them yet.
In addition, there is another problem. Parents should first get rid of the mantra of "you are so stupid" and don't label their children casually. This mantra will do more harm to children. If parents often say this about children, then children will consciously or unconsciously feel inferior and unconfident, and they will develop in the direction their parents say, and maybe eventually they will really become stupid children in their parents' mouths. This is the disadvantage of the label effect.
It is often parents' casual words that ruin their children's future, so we should respect our children at all times and never belittle them easily. Believe in yourself and your children, and they will become more optimistic and confident!
It is said that interest is the best teacher for children, but it will still be ignored by many parents. If you want your children to stay away from "learning stupidity" and want them to love learning more and more, then improve their interest in learning.