Many parents leave their children to their grandparents to pick them up, and because of their busy work, they have little time to care about their children, let alone chat with them.
However, parents should know that in addition to children who are naturally lively and adaptable to the environment, in fact, most children need to ask more questions and chat with their parents before they take the initiative to tell the story of kindergarten life.
My girl was born in the second half of the year, and she is introverted. I attended a full-time early education class for several months before I went to kindergarten, but the children resisted every day, intermittently said that they didn't want to go, and even refused to go in at the entrance of the early education class for a long time.
I didn't know why until I chatted with my children. It turns out that children don't like small classrooms and want to go to the hall to play before each class, but the teacher refuses her to go to the hall on the grounds of taking care of other children.
It is precisely because of the teacher's refusal that children don't like teachers and don't like going to kindergarten. Even once held back crying at the door and refused to go in.
Children are not adults and often don't know how to express their inner feelings. This ability needs to be learned the day after tomorrow. It is precisely because they can't express themselves that they are easily overlooked, especially the emotions behind children's silence.
Therefore, it is very important to learn to chat with children.
Why don't children like to talk about kindergarten?
Children don't like to talk about kindergartens, which is the biggest misunderstanding of parents. It's not that children don't like to talk, but that parents don't know how to read the language behind their children's emotions.
Children's silence is determined by their language ability.
The children in kindergarten are almost 4 years old, and the youngest may be only 3 years old. For children, they don't have the ability to make things clear. Children's language ability is only the ability to state some facts, which is determined by their cognitive limitations.
Many children will state simple facts, but children do not have the logic of this matter.
For example, my daughter just went to kindergarten and came home one day and asked her what she ate in kindergarten. She said that her classmates had given her medicine, which was a small white pill, but it was very sweet.
Because the child couldn't explain clearly, he quickly called the teacher to understand the ins and outs of the whole thing.
The child's silence is a question of the way adults ask questions.
Children always get used to not talking when they come back from kindergarten. Another reason is that there is something wrong with our parents' communication style.
Many parents ask too general questions. For example, many parents will ask you how you are doing in kindergarten. It's like asking an adult how your job is, and many people will say it's OK and passable. But let a child how to answer.
Ask the child, what did you eat in kindergarten? The child replied, noodles. Parents asked, what face. The child kept silent.
Because many times, children don't know what noodles are, and even children haven't eaten them.
There is something wrong with communication between parents, so it is no wonder that children always keep their mouths shut.
Children don't want to say what parents should do.
In the face of children's silence, parents should try to communicate and solve problems from the perspective of children.
Learn to ask questions correctly.
The more specific the question, the better.
Many people will deliberately be tactful when communicating with adults. When communicating with children, it is just the opposite. You need to speak your mind directly, don't beat around the bush.
In the process of communicating with children, ask whatever you want to know.
For example, if you want to know how your child is doing at school, don't ask general questions. Children's life at school is to play, eat and sleep. Break this big problem down into small problems.
For example, what did you have for lunch? What vegetables do you have? Is it rice or noodles?
For example, did you go to bed at noon? How long did you sleep?
How is the child doing in kindergarten? Break it down into specific small questions to ask, and put kindergarten life into practical activities, so that the direction of children's answers will be clearer.
Learn to ask heuristic questions
In the process of parent-child communication, we should learn to throw a brick to attract jade and let the children speak for themselves in a heuristic way.
Many parents ask questions, but they always try a little. For example, ask the child what to eat at noon, the child says rice, what food to eat, and when the child finishes, the problem is over.
For example, ask a child what to eat for lunch.
Mom: What did you eat in kindergarten at noon?
Child: Rice.
Mom: Do you have any favorite dishes? (Inspire children to think)
Child: Yes, I ate chicken legs.
Mom: Do you like kindergarten food? (Guide children to talk more)
Don't ask questions about negative emotions.
Many parents are worried about their children going to kindergarten, and this kind of worry will be reflected in the language. Such questions will make children more anxious.
When asking children questions, we must ask them objectively and neutrally, and we must not ask questions that are easy to cause children's negative emotions.
For example, if you ask a child to socialize, you can ask which child you play with best. Don't ask, did any classmates bully you?
Want to know the relationship between children and teachers, you can ask, did the teacher play games with you, instead of, did the teacher hit you?
Parents should try their best to help their children establish positive connections and let them connect kindergartens with some beautiful things, because once children start talking, many problems will be said by themselves.