Why do boys close their hearts? Family is the earliest place where children receive education. Family education plays a fundamental role in children's growth. Parents should understand their children's adaptability and ideas. It is more important for parents to give their children love and companionship, understanding and encouragement. So why did the boy close his heart?

Why did the boy close his heart? 1 Why do boys close their hearts?

First, boys are reluctant to tell their parents what they are thinking, probably because they have grown up. For them at this time, having their own little secrets is an important symbol of becoming adults.

Second, the boy closed his heart, probably because of distrust of his parents.

Third, because they think talking is useless.

After understanding why boys close their hearts, we can help boys open their hearts through the following six techniques.

First, let boys vent their negative emotions. Some psychologists believe that parents can let their children express all positive and negative emotions through language, which is the greatest protection for their children. Children always want their parents to share their joys and sorrows with them, but as parents, we often only like good news and don't like bad news.

In the long run, children's negative emotions can't find an outlet. If it reaches a certain level, it may explode and become an antagonistic emotion. Therefore, our parents should be familiar with the needs and experiences of boys. We should always listen to boys' voices and let them vent their emotions. While helping the boy open his heart, the child's heart will also open.

The second is to communicate with boys on an equal footing. We can often see such a scene in our life. The little boy is telling his parents something seriously or telling jokes happily. They looked back at their parents with a focused expression on their faces, expecting their parents to listen and answer.

However, the parents on one side are either busy with this or that. Dad is looking at his mobile phone, mom is busy cooking, and no one has settled down to listen to the child. How can this casual attitude make children happy? When communicating with boys, we stand on an equal footing with boys and put ourselves in their real feelings.

Only in this way can we understand the boy more and reprimand him less, and we can get closer to the child and enter the boy's spiritual world.

Third, parents should also have a childlike innocence. If we want to play with boys, our parents need to forget our adult status, be children once, get close to boys in lively humor, put down a serious face in front of boys, integrate into his group like children's playmates, and play freely, so that boys will regard you as a friend with nothing to say.

Like many boys like some foreign teachers, it is because their sense of humor and childlike innocence have conquered the children's hearts, making them feel happy to play with a child their own age, and integrating into the boys' world, the boys' hearts will naturally be as open as our parents'.

Fourth, parents should not deny when communicating, but feel the same. Many parents often like to deny their children's feelings when chatting with them. We keep a neutral tone and empathize with his feelings, which can often make children talk more, so that we can know more about their thoughts and needs and help them solve their difficulties.

Fifth, learn to apologize to children. Adults make mistakes, misjudge children, and rarely say sorry to children, which is very abnormal. No one is perfect and no one can avoid mistakes. Adults who have done something wrong should boldly admit and correct it. Establishing a friend relationship with children means giving and taking, and whoever makes a mistake will admit his mistake, which also carries weight in the eyes of children. When a boy makes a mistake, he will dare to admit it to his parents and actively correct it.

Sixth, learn to learn from children. Today's children are lucky to grow up in an era of rapid development of science and technology. They have great potential and their ability to obtain information far exceeds our imagination.

If our parents learn to learn from their children in some things, they will naturally put down their airs and get along with their children as equals. Children will be respected by adults, and in turn, they will respect adults more. I hope that every family will become a family with smooth communication. Every parent can be a parent who grows up with his children. Every child can also trust his parents and talk to them from the heart.

Why do boys close their hearts? The "self-righteousness" of parents will reproduce the "self-righteousness" of children.

We often take our children to this relative's house without telling them. When early education institutions are in class, children are always in a state of passive perception, and ta will learn this mode. Ta will not listen to what her parents say when she grows up. He can only do things by himself and then tell his parents. For Monday morning quarterback, parents will think, "Son, you don't respect me at all." But, parents, have you ever respected them?

I have a friend whose parents work in other places and seldom go home, so I drag him to dinner or participate in some activities of my parents every time I go home. And his parents always don't tell him in advance, just say, "Mom and Dad will take you somewhere." He thinks he doesn't matter.

Once at his parents' dinner, he felt a little sick and wanted to leave early. His mother scolded him: "We finally came back and wanted to spend more time with you. Are you ungrateful? " My friend was furious and said, "You've been wasting my time, and you still say it's for me?" His parents are puzzled. They feel that they can't see what they have given their son, and the son feels that what his parents think is self-righteous is not his appeal at all. The two sides had a big fight about it.

Later, I met this friend and asked him if the relationship between him and his parents had eased. He replied, "How much better? They have been very busy themselves. Is this important to me? For example, if I don't want to eat fish, they have to give it to me, saying that this is the best thing they can give, so just eat it. "

If you feel bad, the child will feel good. Every child has different choices in food and light meals. Since we have to pay, we should give our children a chance to say what they want, otherwise this self-righteous parent is just a farce.

Listen to the child, but did you really listen to what the child said?

Every parent has a set goal in mind. When a child does something, you seem to be listening to the child, but you are still guiding the direction you want to go. Some parents have guidance skills, and some parents are simple and rude. Either way, you didn't give your child a chance to train according to the way he wanted to go. Of course, as parents, we must first screen out the roads that violate the law and morality. However, under legal circumstances, do we really give children a choice? Did we really listen to what the child said?

I have a classmate in high school. She used to like painting very much, and at the same time, her academic performance was not bad. Speaking of the placement and choice of art students, she discussed this matter with her parents. Her parents said she needed to make her own choices. She told me that she chose art at that time, but later her parents told her who studied art and became a down-and-out artist, and who studied art and now became a big official. At that time, she was dissatisfied, but later she chose Wen. She said, "What can I do? Tuition is paid by my parents. If I don't listen to them, I can't go to school. "

The current situation of this student is that although he was admitted to the university and was a liberal arts student, he chose a major he didn't like very much. After graduation, she ran around, changed jobs in many companies, and finally decided not to go to work and teach her children. She said, "I really don't love those jobs."

Some parents seem to give their children a choice, but in fact they give their children hope and make ta feel hopeless. This gap is actually bigger. Stop boasting that we discussed it with the children. In fact, the process of discussion is the process of making children obey you.

A good parent-child relationship just needs equal dialogue again and again.

Parents need authority and face, and many parents can't put it down, so it is difficult to talk to their children on an equal footing. Some claims of equality are just illusions under cover. Only when parents really realize their mistakes, are really willing to correct their arrogance, are willing to lower their mentality, and have equal conversations with their children again and again, will children be willing to open their hearts to you when they realize that their parents really start to respect themselves.

What kind of people would you like to associate with? Willing to communicate with those who are good at real listening and know real respect. Then, as long as you become such a person yourself, your children will be willing to communicate with you.

If you have tried "equal communication" and said "it didn't achieve what you said, the child still wouldn't listen to me." At this time, you should find that you have not achieved "equal communication" at all. "Equal communication" is communication without purpose and prejudgment. If you still communicate with your child with the heart of "I hope the child will obey", then you are doomed to fail.

Why do boys close their hearts 3 0 1? The first key: understanding.

(1) Parents should learn to put themselves in others' shoes;

(2) Parents should not be susceptible to adolescent children;

(3) Don't cling to the results you want;

(4) Think about what children are doing now. Can we do that?

(5) Allow children to take detours, because there are also scenery in detours. Allow children to have regrets in life, because this is the homework for children to grow up;

(6) Everything has a cause and effect, and it is better to blame the result than to plant a good cause;

Parents should learn to understand their children, accept their imperfections, and feel that it is not easy for children to study and live every day in empathy. Understanding is a kind of perception, through which the relationship with children can be improved. No matter at what stage of life, parents should tell their children to let themselves bloom. Bloom yourself not to prove yourself, but to help children find flower of life and bloom brilliantly.

02, the second key: respect.

(1) Parents learn to listen to their children and let them fully express themselves;

(2) Let children have the right to decide.

(3) Junior high school began to use it to establish mobile phone usage;

(4) Don't peek at children's diaries and other privacy.

(5) When criticizing children, don't be rude about things.

(6) Be sure to give your child face in public.

This is very important. Parents should protect children's self-esteem. I remember a father accompanying his children to summer camp. The teacher asked the children what their dreams were. The children said that they would visit various countries in the future. The children's father was nearby and sneered, "I wonder if children who failed in English can go abroad?"

The child bowed his head when he heard his father say this in front of his teachers and classmates. Therefore, parents should give their children dignity in public, not ruin them.

03, the third key: encourage.

(1) When a child is in trouble, his heart is with him.

(2) When children face teachers' criticism, parents often take their side;

(3) Don't compare children with others, everyone is unique;

(4) Parents discover their children's talents and praise them greatly, so that children can find a sense of value.

(5) Guide children through biographies and other books.

Adolescent children are in a period of physical development, and both physiology and psychology are undergoing subtle changes. Psychological nutrition is very important for children. Praise, affirmation, appreciation and recognition are the best gifts parents give their children.

I believe that every child has his own talent. Find out his talent and continue to encourage him. This will bring him a great sense of accomplishment, expand bit by bit, and bring a series of promotions.

04. Do you want to try this key?

These days, I have been learning from my teachers and helped me get out of the self-imposed situation. In particular, the teacher said that it feels good to open the door of adolescent children with three keys. Tonight, I decided to try these three keys.

So, I said to my child, son, it's a little hard to study these two days. So, how about playing mobile phone for half an hour after you finish your homework?

The son was very happy and said, "Mom, how do you understand me so recently?" This is really not a white study. "

I said, "Son, understanding is mutual. Mom understands you. Put yourself in others' shoes. You should understand mom, right? " Why don't you use your cell phone? "

The son said, "Of course I understand, because you are afraid that it will be bad for your eyes and affect your health."

I said, "Well done, that's very thoughtful of you. Mom believes that you will give me your mobile phone in half an hour. Because you are a self-disciplined child. "

The son said, "No problem".

Half an hour later, the child didn't give me a mobile phone. I'm not worried. During this time, I listened to Teacher Xiaoping's class, and my mind was much calmer. I used to be anxious when I was with my children, but I had a feeling that I shouldn't be angry with my children. There must be a reason why he won't give me his cell phone.

I controlled my temper and said calmly, "Son, it's 30 minutes. It seems that you have been a little busy studying recently. Why not call 10 minutes? "

My son didn't expect me to say this: "Mom, that's very kind of you. The self-study classes in the afternoon are all occupied by teachers, and I have a lot of homework in the evening. I have no time to play. /kloc-I will definitely give you my mobile phone in 0/0 minutes. "

After another 10 minutes, the child returned my mobile phone to me, although he was a little reluctant. I gave the child a big compliment with my thumbs up.

Thank you very much for the teacher's course, which calmed my heart. Even if you encounter problems, you can calm down and face them calmly, instead of having conflicts with your children.

Learning is a process of constant self-awareness, but at the same time, it is necessary to practice and apply. If knowledge is only learned and not used, it cannot be transformed into wisdom. What's the use of studying?

Yesterday, I used these three keys to open the child's heart, which made me very happy. Parents should first understand and respect their children and accept their imperfections, so as to effectively encourage them and open their hearts to you. Relationship is the premise and foundation of education, remember to remember! I wish you all have consciousness and make a little progress every day!