Parents love their children, but doting is not doting.
You know, when excessive love turns into doting, it is likely to "pit" the child's life.
Parents should pay special attention to the following three typical doting behaviors.
First, arranged instead of using children.
There is a photo on the internet that is very eye-catching Parents took their children out of school. They all carried their children's schoolbags on their shoulders, and the children followed with their hands swinging.
There are children who just went to school and older children.
Walking in front with schoolbags on their backs are young parents and elderly grandparents.
Everyone feels too normal about everything. Some parents said with emotion: "The schoolbag is heavy, I am afraid of being tired, and I am worried that my child will not grow up."
This is the general idea of parents. If you think you can help some people, help some people.
This phenomenon not only refers to carrying schoolbags for children, but also reflects a common mode of family education-arranging instead.
That is, parents often habitually do what their children should and can do instead.
Some parents even said, "Son, you just need to study hard and do nothing else."
But sooner or later, children will go to society. When they are powerless in the face of competition, it will be useless for parents to lament again.
It's really simple to raise a child and abolish a child, as long as parents don't let go, as long as parents take the place of arrangement.
As parents, we can't always shelter our children from the wind and rain. Cultivating their independence is the most precious gift for them.
We should learn to let go, encourage children to start working, and teach them to be independent, so that when they face life alone in the future, they can cope with it calmly.
Second, special treatment, easily meet the requirements of children.
Nowadays, more and more families have a terrible phenomenon, that is:
"Parents and old people at home spoil their children. The child is a veritable little princess and little prince. "
They enjoy special treatment and special care at home.
For example, if a person eats, the delicious food is placed in front of the child, and he can't eat it without giving it to others.
For example, parents can not celebrate their birthdays, and children must buy a big cake for their birthdays.
Over time, such children feel special, accustomed to the superior posture, and naturally there will be no empathy.
Even children will become arrogant and selfish.
Such children can only take it, which is the origin of the NEET.
The special treatment from childhood stifles their ability to bear hardships and stand hard work, so they will become lazy and difficult to stand on their own feet, and once they don't get it, they will begin to hold a grudge.
When parents go against their wishes a little, they are extremely angry and regard their parents as enemies, punching and kicking each other.
Shakespeare said, "Ungrateful children can bite people's hearts more than poisonous snakes' sharp teeth."
Spoiled children do not know how to be grateful; Children who don't know how to be grateful can't walk for long.
Parents should remember that at home, everyone is nothing special, because every family member should be equal in personality.
Third, blindly protect your own shortcomings and unconditionally protect your children.
There is a video of Weibo, which caused public outrage on the Internet.
In an early education institution, the little boy has been chasing the little girl, and the little girl just doesn't want to play with him.
In the chase, I don't know whether the boy wants to grab the girl's ball or shake hands with the girl. They had an argument and the girl accidentally patted the boy on the head.
Later, the boy's mother grabbed the girl's neck and threw her into the ocean pool, resulting in bruises and scratches on her neck.
When the girl's mother came to her for a theory, she confidently claimed that she was taking appropriate precautions to protect her son.
The behavior of the boy's mother made netizens angry and attacked the little girl one after another.
Some netizens hit the nail on the head and pointed out the crux of the problem: "I am eager to protect my son, but I have to talk about right and wrong."
It is understandable that parents should protect their children.
Protecting children is also the nature of parents. The starting point of "protecting children" is love for children, but we should say "degree".
Therefore, improper protection of children is to protect their own faults.
Blindly justifying a fault, love turns into harm, which will only hurt children in the end.
If you don't want to educate your children, someone will help you in the future.
Therefore, for the sake of children's happiness, parents should not blindly protect their weaknesses, but educate their children correctly.
Huang Lei said a words:
There are as many parents as there are in the world, and there are no identical parents.
Parents should consider the problem from the perspective of their children, not from their own perspective.
Parents are lifelong teachers of their children, and their education methods determine their children's future.
Parents love their children, so they have far-reaching influence.
If you want your children to have a broader future and a happy life in the future, you must learn to love them correctly.
Then, how can parents love properly and naturally, so that their children can grow up in a healthy environment?
◆ Equal treatment
◆ Avoid intergenerational doting.
◆ Cultivate independent consciousness
The process of raising children is wrong, and the result will be wrong.
Therefore, in education, we must not spoil and let the children go by themselves.
Only in this way can children become better and better!