Compared with the older generation stepping onto the track of "working, getting married and having children", young people nowadays seem to have more and more new ideas about marriage.
Best friends Xiao Li and her husband are like this. They have been married for four years, but the young couple have no idea of having children yet. As a result, they were persuaded by relatives from all walks of life, especially Xiao Li's mother-in-law. Not only do they come to the couple's house from time to time, but they also go to the temple to petition, make soup for Xiao Li and his wife, or express or imply that they want to have children soon.
There are actually many young couples like Xiao Li who are forced to have children.
According to China Fertility Report 20 19, the fertility rate in China is declining at an unprecedented speed, far below the global average of 2.45, even lower than some developed countries.
Many elderly people see the country's open second child policy, but young people are reluctant to have children. They are extremely surprised and think that the younger generation is selfish, shameful and abnormal.
But I consulted a group of school-age friends and found that they didn't want to have children, not for themselves, but for the unborn children.
First, I feel that the material conditions can't meet the fertility standards.
Raising children is expensive. Some netizens even joked that this child is actually a humanoid "cash machine". Before the baby is born, it is necessary to spend money on fertility tests and prepare nutritional supplements. ...
I'm finally pregnant, and I have to face all kinds of prenatal examinations. Even if the whole process is very smooth and there is no extra cost, this series of consumption can make a middle-class family with insufficient savings feel great economic pressure. Not to mention that women have to take care of their children after giving birth, and families mainly rely on their husbands' income.
If the young couple are the' urban generation' who just entered the big city, they will be overwhelmed by the mortgage loan every day. Coupled with the consumption of children's milk powder, diapers, nutritional supplements and various early education products ... it will make people bald.
This is the fundamental reason why many young couples don't want to have children although they have settled in the city. After all, if you don't have too much savings, you can't get good care after the baby is born. It's better to struggle for a few more years and wait until you have more money to have children.
Second, I feel that I can't afford the psychological responsibility of being a parent.
Many young couples don't have children, not only because of economic pressure, but also because of the education after the child is born.
Some couples with family problems and poor childhood life do not want their children to repeat the mistakes they made in those years, nor do they want to be new irresponsible parents. Therefore, they choose not to have children without psychological preparation, so as to avoid the pain when the child is born.
A Japanese writer who has been married for more than ten years once revealed in a TV program the reason why she never wanted to have children: "My temper is as flawed as my father's, and I often get angry and get out of control. If I have my own child, I can't guarantee that he will have a healthy growth environment. I endured a lot of pain before I grew up, and I'm still suffering. I don't want to repeat my life with a new life. "
Third, I feel that I will lose myself after giving birth.
After giving birth to a baby, it is bound to be accompanied by the change of life role and economic pressure. Many young couples find that after having children, a large part of their lives will be cut off for the sake of the children. This makes many young people, especially young women, feel scared.
Although the present life emphasizes the equality between men and women, it is still an inevitable fact that women's postpartum employment is shrinking and declining. Career interruption, hopeless promotion, a blow to future career development and personal income ... this is an inevitable huge price for women.
Therefore, many women will choose to have children very carefully if they are not at ease with their current marriage.
Whether to have children or not is everyone's freedom, and these two choices have their own advantages and disadvantages. As an adult, the key is to recognize the facts: if you choose to have children, you must be prepared economically and psychologically to become parents and assume future responsibilities; If you choose not to have children, you should make economic and psychological preparations for your long life in the future, make efforts to make money and ensure future economic security.