"862+769"
"... 1000 ...500"
Before the "no" children were counted, the mother began to judge that the result was wrong and kept urging. Obviously, embarrassment was written on the child's face.
" 163 1。" The child quickly glanced at the crumpled white paper in his mother's hand and replied. Seeing the satisfied smile on his mother's face, the child's nervous little shoulders relaxed. So, quick question and answer continues.
The mother and son I saw on the bus caught the attention of the half-car people, and the different expressions on their faces made me start thinking. Some passengers have envy written on their faces, and it is estimated that they are saying: This baby is really smart! Others looked at the mother and son coldly, as if catching up on sleep. I, on the other hand, looked at them with anxiety.
Worried that one day the mother will be furious when she finds out that her child is opportunistic; I am also worried that children will forget the correct posture of learning; What is even more worrying is what the future path will be like for the children trained in this way.
-1- Please be kind to children's "slowness"
I remember reading an article calling on parents to cooperate with their children's "slowness" because growth requires a process. For example, a newborn baby's eyesight is less than 10 cm, but his family tries to attract him with all kinds of screaming toys, constantly stimulating immature vision and hearing, which may seriously cause the baby to "wake up" or lose concentration in the future.
Since reading an article about children's "slow growth", I have never urged children to walk, eat and talk quickly. Imagine how a child's "short legs" can catch up with his parents' "long legs". If parents get ahead, children can't keep up. If an anxious child doesn't want to leave his parents, he will ask for a hug. This seems to "offend" another nerve of parents: why do children always hug, and how did he form this habit? This habit is not good, he refused the child's request without asking the reason. Children will feel wronged after being rejected and feel that their parents don't like me. Children who are sad while walking will be slower. At this time, parents will start to get impatient and may use language to "attack": Will you hurry up? I'm in a hurry and I'll be late soon! On the other hand, children, even if they speed up their steps, are out of helplessness, a fear of licking wounds.
And that article made me start to reflect, did I make such a mistake? Why is there such a problem? Are you not doing your best in the process of accompanying your children, just thinking about your unfinished business?
After reflection, I began to slow myself down, enjoy the time with my children and feel their growth. When he walks beside him, slow down to match his speed. Sure enough, the number of times he asked for hugs was significantly reduced, and sometimes he even felt really tired and refused to be taken away. When eating, he tolerated his clumsy use of chopsticks and left them all over the table. What the children no longer want to eat has been eaten. When telling him a story, allow him to ask all kinds of questions, all kinds of curiosity, answer him patiently and help him interpret the picture book from his own perspective.
The growth of children needs a process. Please be kind to every child's slowness. Only through this process will there be the possibility of phased change.
-2- Please follow the "slowness" of the learning process.
"Don't let your child lose at the starting line", "Skills training should start from an early age" and "Early education, let your baby break through the tight encirclement" ......
I wonder if you have found an interesting phenomenon: when you are pregnant (or when your wife and children are pregnant), you can quickly find pregnant women on the road and in the crowd; Or when the child is born, you can quickly get information about early education and intellectual development. So, you begin to "plan" your life for the baby in your belly and the newborn baby. What preschool classes, left and right brain development, parenting education, children's English ... have all started.
Has anyone asked the children what they think? Take my children for example. Although we have never participated in parent-child games and early education classes, there is no problem with children's intellectual development. We always encourage children to make their own decisions. Even if his decision is sometimes naive or dangerous, we will try our best to satisfy him and let him try. When we are interested in numbers, we will accompany him to repeat them over and over again until he knows the law that numbers increase to the right and decrease to the left. Every time he asks a question, we will answer it seriously. It may be a small matter for us. In his world, all the unknowns are great events and opportunities to gain new knowledge. Now, just four years old, he has his own thoughts, can make arrangements for his time and life, and can make more complicated choices. Of course, sometimes it will be derailed. Just one sentence: Baby, this is your own decision. He will obey because he has learned to take the consequences for his choices.
This is the result of our slowing down and accompanying him to learn and grow. But more and more parents prefer "quick decision" and "fast", especially faster than others. Let children participate in various classes blindly, tap their potential in advance, but ignore the law of ability growth. Is it against the laws of nature to let children develop their future intelligence and skills when they should form habits and acquire basic viability?
Therefore, the phenomenon of "high knowledge and low ability" often appears. For example, there are very few prodigies and champions who can really laugh at the end in the college entrance examination. Does this explain a bad consequence of "speed" teaching? Isn't that enough for us to reflect?
-3- Feel the child's "slow" growth
After I recovered, I gradually discovered that there are many abilities and secrets hidden in the child's small body. For example, he will have a strong sense of belonging and distinguish the ownership of objects; Develop a good law, time concept, etc. Know how to listen to opinions and seek appropriate help. Every little progress my child has made makes me more sure that the decision to slow down is so correct.
There is another happy thing. By "slowing down" with my children, I began to learn to communicate with people in a low voice, stripped myself of my long-term strength and aggressiveness, stopped asking others to live according to their own principles and respected everyone's right to choose and make decisions. As a result, parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship and mother-in-law relationship are more harmonious and intimate, as if gaining the power of the whole world.
Recently, I like the tune in "Study hard" and "Transcendental"-learn to master basic knowledge and basic laws, and then penetrate into all walks of life and all aspects of life. These basic knowledge is the key to solving the problem.
Growth is a gradual process. Sometimes it seems like a big step forward, but sometimes it has been standing still, and there is even the possibility of retreating. It is important that the foundation must be solid in order to continue to add bricks or flourish. Everyone grew up like this. Why do children "overspeed"? Reflection, from now on!
No.-Quit writing camp? The fifth article