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Recently, there are often news that parents have been kicked out of the parent group by teachers:

Driving a sports car to send the children away was kicked out by the parents. ...

Did not copy the questionnaire according to the answer, and was kicked out of the parent group. ...

Parents questioned homework and were kicked out of the parent group. ...

Parents were kicked out of the parents group in the middle of the night @ Teacher …

This makes parents not only confused, but also indignant: Teacher, are you wrong? I can't make sense, but I can't tell my parents to kick them out of the group. Have you ever practiced shadowless feet in Foshan? Angry is angry, but there is no way to get kicked out. This group was built by the teacher. The teacher can kick you, but you can't hit the teacher.

Parents are obviously more and more dissatisfied with their weak position in the parent group, so there are many articles attacking the internal phenomenon of the parent group in the official WeChat account, such as:

Court struggle between parents ...

Adult performance between parents ...

Parents are good executors. Don't come in without acting. ...

These articles seem to be talking about some annoying phenomena among parents, but in fact they are also insinuating that teachers are buying it.

These articles have been recognized by many parents and cheered. Some people even made a high-profile statement that they would quit their parents in a few days.

But can quitting the parent group solve the problem? Problems often arise between parents. Just because there are great parents in the group? Then why can every group find the same type of disgusting parents?

Look at the essence through the phenomenon, and look at the deeper problems through the problems in the parents!

Criticize the parents in the parent group. Have those parents you hate touched your inner pain points?

Hate parents who love to show off;

If you hate showing off your children's parents, then you should reflect on whether it is because your children have no special strengths for you to show off. If your children are excellent in morality, intelligence, physique and beauty, will you also show off in the group?

If your children are excellent and you don't care about showing off, do you mind others showing off? Anyway, my children are better than his children, and the more they show off, the more ridiculous they become.

Parents who hate flatterers:

If you always hate parents who flatter teachers, worship teachers' decisions and often praise teachers, then you should think about it, is it because you don't understand teachers' emotions, how to speak to make teachers happy, and your emotional intelligence is very low?

If you have a high emotional intelligence, you can consider the teacher's ideas from the teacher's point of view, and you can say appropriate words to make the teacher appreciate you, and you will also be impressed by the children you have educated. So are you willing to let the teacher praise you often?

Parents who hate comparison:

If you hate those off-campus courses that often show off tens of thousands of dollars to your children in the group, which countries did you go to during the summer vacation because you didn't have the conditions to do it for your children?

Undoubtedly, if parents have abundant property, they can take their children to Wan Li Road and enroll them in various extracurricular classes, which can really advance their children's starting line. If you had money, you might do the same. If you enroll your children in more expensive courses and take them to more countries, but you don't want to show off, then you won't mind others showing off, just laugh it off!

There is a very realistic saying: the more you lack, the more you care.

If you are excellent, the children you have educated are also excellent, and no matter how excellent the parents in the group are, you have no time to take care of them, let alone gather people to criticize them. It is better to strengthen yourself than to attack dissatisfaction.

The essential problem of parents' problems is that parents and teachers have different educational concepts.

This is actually normal, because parents have different educational levels, different growth environments and different values, so it is understandable that they have different educational concepts for their children.

However, people always want to impose their ideas on others, or hope that their ideas will be positively recognized. So, they went to the group to find * * * Ming, to find support for their own ideas, and at the same time to crack down on people who think differently from themselves. This has formed a faction among parents, which will lead to all kinds of wonderful events.

If parents have a firm heart and clearly know why the teacher wants to establish a parent group, then there is no need to blame the parents you don't like in the group.

So, have parents considered why teachers should establish parent groups?

Functionally, the purpose of setting up parent groups for teachers is very simple, which is nothing more than the following:

Notify homework: let parents know the details of their children's homework so that parents can check the completion of their children's homework. At the same time, parents may be assigned some homework, such as doing manual work with their children and so on.

Publish all kinds of school activities and information: inform sports meetings, get-togethers, parents' meetings and school holidays, arrange children's clothes and meals conveniently and reasonably, and arrange children's holiday placement.

Announce the situation of students at school, including rewards and punishments. These situations are convenient for parents to understand their children's performance in school.

Remind parents of some precautions. Reflect too many problems to parents, release the impact of cases in school to parents, and let parents pay more attention.

When there was no WeChat group before, these functions were all notified by mass SMS. But if that's the only purpose, then you can use SMS. Why build a WeChat group?

In fact, the main significance of the teacher's establishment of parents' WeChat group is to let parents know the educational concept of the school in time and cooperate with the school to implement home-school teaching!

Many parents are dissatisfied with the homework assigned by the teacher to their parents, and think that it is the teacher's duty to check the homework for their children and should not be passed on to parents; It is believed that the teacher is not the leader of the parents of the students and has no right to assign homework to the parents.

But the teacher asked parents to check their children's homework precisely to let parents know the completion of their children's homework. Isn't that what every parent should know about homework?

The purpose of "assigning homework" to parents is to let parents have time to spend with their children. Children can't grow up just by learning cultural knowledge at school. The school's more task is to teach children cultural knowledge, and the companionship of parents is the most important education for children's growth.

Therefore, the more important purpose for teachers to establish parent groups is to strengthen the contact between schools and parents. I hope parents can learn more about their children's study and life at school, their advantages and disadvantages, learn from the good educational experience of parents of outstanding students, actively cooperate with schools, and learn from their own situations, so as to have a better growth.

Undoubtedly, the parent group is actually a favorable platform to strengthen the connection between home and school. As the manager of this platform, teachers have their own likes and dislikes in the face of dozens of parents with different ideas.

Parents the teacher doesn't like:

No brain type:

Clearly written in the notice clearly, I still kept asking. This reflects parents' lazy thinking. How can parents who are too lazy to read the notice educate their children who are thinking clearly?

Question type:

Everything the teacher says will arouse suspicion. The teacher's notice is from the perspective of all students, while the parents' point of view is mostly from their own children's point of view, so we should consider the problem comprehensively. If you have any questions, you can discuss them privately with the teacher. There is no need to question them in the group. Such parents don't have a big picture, and educating their children is often self-centered.

Sing a hymn:

No matter what the teacher says, he will say many words of praise, even words of thanks. Although teachers hope to get the understanding and support of parents, meaningless praise will only make teachers feel verbose and irritable. Such parents may be used to doing superficial work and have no solid professional skills.

Parents the teacher likes:

Soft-spoken parents:

Some parents basically don't talk in the group, but they respond immediately when they are named, and their words are concise and decent. Even if children are criticized for naming names, they will simply reply and communicate with teachers. Such parents have high emotional intelligence and are reasonable.

Parents who can be teachers' assistants:

On one occasion, a teacher specially thanked a parent. It was the parent who made a table by himself and classified and summarized the children's homework mistakes, so that it was easier to see the children's weaknesses. Later, some parents sent this form to the group and some parents used it. After sending the summary to the teacher, the teacher can summarize the understanding of most children through the form. Such parents are often very professional, extremely responsible for their children's learning and willing to share.

Parents who actively cooperate with teachers:

Schools often want to know more about children, parents need to fill out some questionnaires, or have some social activities that parents want to participate in. At this time, parents who can take it seriously show that parents attach great importance to their children's behavior in school, rather than blindly throwing their children's education to school.

Although it summarizes the performance of parents in WeChat group, in fact, this is the different types of parents in reality. In the internet, parents may be able to show their true colors better.

Teachers may praise their favorite parents very much and be harsh on parents who don't like them. This is not based on their own emotions, but because the problems exposed by these parents will affect their children.

Parents' words and deeds are sometimes more effective than deliberate preaching. This is the teacher's reminder and guidance to parents, which requires parents' reflection and vigilance, rather than blindly starting from their own emotions.

Even if they know what kind of parents the teacher likes, some parents are not necessarily willing to "please" the teacher: why should I please the teacher? My children go to school, and schools and teachers have the obligation to educate my children well. I am not a teacher's employee or a teacher's "concubine". Do I need to look at the teacher's face to please him?

However, whether you want to be a teacher's favorite parent is not a simple question of who please whom, but your cognition of the subject of children's education. This problem is the core problem in the communication between parents and teachers, and it is also the most worthy question for every parent to reflect on:

Why are you emotional about the homework assigned to you by the teacher? Why don't you want to be low in your parents? Why do you feel humiliated when the teacher criticizes you in the group?

That's because you left the task of children's education to the teacher from the day your children went to school!

However, if parents have such an idea, it is likely to ruin their children's growth!

Every parent should have a correct understanding: the child is yours. Even if you are sent to school, the main responsibility for educating your child should be borne by parents, because only you will be responsible for your child's life, and the quality of your child's growth is closely related to you.

If you understand this truth, then you will know:

Learning to communicate with teachers can help teachers understand children better and help them more accurately.

Learn to communicate with teachers, so that you can understand what children do at school and guide them better when they grow up.

Learn to communicate with teachers, so that your children can better display their talents, learn knowledge and get the most benefits in school.

So, you must understand:

You don't "please" the teacher, but understand that the original intention of the teacher is to help you educate your children well;

You must obey the teacher. Although you are not a teacher's subordinate, you must be more obedient than your subordinate. You can resign because you are not satisfied with your job, but you can't resign as a parent.

You should respect teachers. Although you are not the teacher's "concubine", you must win the teacher's "heart" because the child is yours, not yours, nor the teacher's. If you fight with the teacher, the outcome will be borne by the child.

Aristotle said: "The root of education is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

This sentence deserves the encouragement of all parents: it is hard to educate children, which includes the physical pain of washing diapers to the mental pain of communicating with teachers, but the hard work of children as children will eventually bear fruitful results.

If you don't bother, then children will make you work hard all your life.

The mythical "parent group" has developed rapidly in the past two years with the widespread popularity of WeChat. In many places, if children start to go to school, whether in early childhood education, extracurricular classes, kindergartens, primary schools or middle schools, parents will definitely join one or more parents belonging to this class. As a post-00 generation, when WeChat, QQ and WiFi became popular, it was also the beginning of my junior high school. My mother joined four parent groups in junior high school: a school group with all parents, a grade group, a class group with a head teacher and a small class group without a head teacher. As a mother of two babies, I have been lurking in various "groups" for many years, summarizing the parents' groups.

I really can't help but want to spit out the wonderful things between my parents.

The daughter of friend A is now in a small class in kindergarten. Don't you have to sleep during the lunch break in kindergarten? After lunch break, many girls' braids are messed up.

There are thirty children in the class, and fourteen girls are looked after by four teachers. The teacher is very busy, tying girls' hair, but not all the children are so cooperative.

When the kindergarten was out of school, some parents came to pick up the children and found that their hair was a little messy. They began to publicly accuse the teachers in the group: you have no morality and you can't have a bowl of water, which is unfair to my children. Then after lunch break with someone, my hair won't be messy. ...

When my friend saw this accusation, he was speechless: should the teacher tie the child's hair again after his lunch break in kindergarten? When did it become the standard to measure whether a teacher has a professional ethics? What a big thing it is!

After the children went to the toilet in kindergarten, the teacher taught everyone to wash their hands, but now it is not winter, and everyone's skin is easy to dry. The teacher "meddled" and wiped everyone's hands with hand cream.

The teacher sent this video to the parents, and the parents were angry again: My daughter's hands are very delicate, and now it is an epidemic period, and all the children use a hand cream. Is it too unsanitary?

Last Teacher's Day, the parents in the class wanted to give the teacher a gift to express their feelings. However, kindergartens are not allowed to accept gifts now, so parents thought of a way: let each child say a word or smile at the video, then send the short video to my friend, and my friend will edit it and give it to the teacher.

Parents have been in the group countless times and asked everyone to send shortsightedness to my friends before the deadline, but one parent didn't send it.

My friend also cut this video for everyone in his spare time. She didn't know who the child in the video was, so she edited all the sources of the materials and sent them to the home-school communication group on Teacher's Day as agreed.

As soon as it was sent out, the parent exploded, got angry in the group and called my friend: What do you mean? All the children in the video show their faces except their own. Do you want to isolate our children?

There are quite a few such parents. It is said that some parents paid counterfeit money for the shift fee, which eventually led the teacher to pay for it himself. No way, the teacher had to introduce a new rule: write the name on RMB with a pencil, and then erase the name after the money detector passes the check.

Recently, two things happened in friend B's children's class:

The first thing is-

Parents use class fees to authorize teachers to help buy children's school supplies, such as colored paper. After buying colored paper, the teacher gave it to the students, but later, some students didn't get their favorite color. ...

After all, in this case, a child who is depressed for two seconds can always find happiness faster. However, a child came home and told his parents that the colored paper he got was not his favorite color and the teacher was unfair.

Parents think this is a very serious matter, so they talk about it with the teacher. The teacher was bullied and in a bad mood, so he went back. The parents felt very angry, so they went to the headmaster to complain. Finally, they went to the Education Bureau and said that the teacher had illegally charged class fees. ...

Well, finally, the principal and the teacher agreed not to buy any school supplies for students in the future.

In the end, a situation is formed: sometimes students use brushes, and parents are also asked to buy them at stationery stores. Stationery stores not only sell, but also buy a box, so every parent has to pay more for running errands and expenses. ...

The second thing is this-

The school wants to organize a literary performance, and the literary teacher has drawn up a list of entries.

I don't know what happened, but the list has been known to my parents.

Parents like friend B have always been very Buddhist in dealing with these things. B doesn't even know when his children will take part in the cultural performance, let alone what events they will take part in. She didn't go to see it until her parents quarreled.

After climbing the stairs in the group for a long time, she found out the reason: there are two children at home who are usually naughty, and this cultural performance was not selected, and almost every project has a tall girl.

The parent first asked the teacher: Do you have a problem with our parents or our children?

Later, the parent publicly challenged in the group: some children (said to be their own children) failed to participate in a project, and who can participate in each project? Is there anything fishy in this? What about educational equity?

The parents of another naughty child who was not selected also echoed: Right, right.

Later, the teacher had to spare a lot of time and energy to explain why he chose those students. At first, when they made the entry form, they didn't want to target anyone at all. They only choose these lists according to their children's registration, their external image and their performance in music and stage classes.

Seeing this situation, B was angry.

Compared with the child's whole long life, this is really just a trivial matter in the child's life journey. After taking part in the work, children have encountered such "consciously unfair" things.

Different standards, everyone looks at the problem from different angles. What is unfair in one person's eyes is just right in others' eyes. Parents should also learn to "focus on the key points and take a long-term view", don't waste teachers' energy in unnecessary places, and let teachers make time and energy to grasp the style of study and grasp the results.

My friend B told me that there are two parents of male students in her children's class, who are always looking for teachers and principals for things as big as sesame and mung beans. The child was hit by a classmate today. They went to school and asked the teacher to apologize publicly for running into their son's children. Tomorrow, my son hit someone again and went to school to find a teacher, asking the teacher to find out the "truth" of the child being beaten. Perhaps this is a great injustice, because the child is usually fine at home.

They often call their teachers in the early hours of the morning and send WeChat. Teachers have a lot of time and energy to deal with their complaints and questions ... but their time and energy are also limited. Too many times, the teacher is impatient. As soon as they get a call from these parents and read their WeChat, they will have a headache.

When the teacher is impatient, these parents are even more insecure. What happened to the child at school was criticized by the teacher. After returning home, parents suspected that the teacher had expressed personal grievances against himself.

So, a vicious circle.

For other students, the teacher's patience, time and energy are also resources. Teachers are obsessed with these unreasonable parents, so they can't let go of their hands and feet to grasp the class style and grades ... so, the class style and grades of the whole class rank last in the whole grade.

I can only say that these parents are really free.

Teachers in public schools are functional, not service-oriented.

If you want a service-oriented teacher, take money to buy private education services, such as 20 thousand to 30 thousand a month. There are so many c's on the stage. As long as the child can't stand in C position, you will make trouble. How do you ask teachers to carry out normal teaching work?

Whoever is promoted in the workplace will be demoted. In the business field, who should make this order and who should not ... Most of us know how to respect the rules of the game and will not ask the leader or the customer's father to give a statement because they dare not.

When it comes to children, teachers always stand up and explain ... not "bullying the weak and fearing the hard"

Do you really think of yourself as a role in sending your children to school? Other children should make way for your children, and the teacher should provide your children with kneeling service?

If I were a teacher, I would be so wronged. I probably really don't want to care. Things bigger than farting take so much effort to respond and explain. Why do I have to teach like this?

Anyone who can be a teacher has a teacher qualification certificate, passes the logic test with high probability, and understands educational psychology and skills. Why do some parents jump up and down to interfere with teachers' teaching work?

Every time they encounter a little thing, the children may have been skipping around now, and this matter has passed without a trace in their hearts ... but parents just can't get through it, they just want to go to school to ask for an explanation.

How can they get hurt so easily? I think it's just projecting my deepest fears and anxieties on others. If you can't solve the inner conflict, you have to find a target to vent your negative emotions.

It is so difficult for them to admit that their children are Xiong Haizi and ordinary children.

In the words of a friend of mine, teaching is a teacher's major and a teacher's job. Students return to learning itself, learning knowledge, discipline, morality, honesty, honor and disgrace ... If parents have been consuming the teacher's energy because of such a trivial matter, what energy does the teacher have to teach children?

To say the least, this teacher has changed, and the next teacher may be unfair to some parents. There is no absolute fairness in this world (the standard of fairness is different), which children don't understand, but we adults who are beaten by society every day should understand.

If you feel unfair, either you quit your job, get a teacher's qualification certificate, apply to be a teacher in your child's school and take care of your child's class, otherwise you can't solve the problem of "consciously unfair" ...

These days, who has no pressure to move bricks and who has no children to take care of? Teachers are also parents of other people's children. Getting paid is just a job ... Parents can let teachers discipline their children with a happy mood. Why should others do things with a wronged heart?

If you want to stand up and be a man, if you want to achieve it, you can be a man and a parent.

Teachers are just people who accompany children on their journey. One decision after another they make does not determine your child's life. The growth of children is the result of many factors, even the parents who come from the family have a greater influence.

As parents, we should not only move bricks but also raise children, and learn to "focus on the key points and look at the long term" so that children can follow suit in the future. In the future, when you step into the society and encounter all kinds of life problems, you can separate them one by one in a scientific way.

My personal attitude is that most school affairs are left to teachers to decide and solve (unless the teacher is dereliction of duty, which makes people angry). Parents should mainly be themselves, manage the relationship with their children and give them psychological support.

No one should cross the line, and the world is at peace.

Finally, I want to say one more thing: if I have super powers, I really want to strangle and drown parents who make teachers, classes and schools restless for bigger things.