Babies lie in three forms.
Lying is an inevitable phenomenon that every baby will experience when growing up. Lying is related to his environment and his cognitive ability. It is generally divided into the following forms:
A wonderful lie
Babies under the age of 3 can't tell the difference between imagination and reality, and often describe imaginary things as real things. They often improvise and apply stories and things they hear to real people or things through their own imagination, resulting in illogical and untrue "lying";
They may also impose their will on something and say something that doesn't exist, but it is full of loopholes. This is just a way for them to express their wishes through imagination. Their lies have no clear purpose, with very obvious fantasy traces.
What should smart parents do when their children lie? Passive lying
Babies naturally want to do something well and get the appreciation of their mothers or other favorite people. When they do something wrong, they will lie for fear of being punished. In fact, babies are pure and straightforward by nature. They don't hide their intentions, feelings and desire to explore.
But when he found that his honesty caused his mother's dissatisfaction and even punishment, he would try to lie in order to avoid the baby. Especially when babies successfully escape punishment after lying, their lying behavior will be encouraged.
Behavior lying
Some babies spoiled by their parents are used to having all the toys and food. Whether it is their own things or not, as long as they like it, they may take it home quietly. In order to avoid losing these things for the mother to find out, the baby may also make up some imaginary little lies to make his behavior more reasonable.
Learn to use wisdom to resolve children's lies.
Maybe mothers didn't think that there are seeds of wisdom behind the baby's lies!
For babies, lying, especially fantasy lying, is the best witness to the development of their thinking ability. As long as the mother treats the baby lying alone and gives appropriate guidance, the baby lying is no longer a headache for the mother. On the contrary, by taking advantage of the baby's lying behavior, the mother can cultivate a smarter, imaginative and creative baby.
Strategy 1: Treat your baby's lying behavior correctly.
The process of lying is actually the process of baby's imagination and creation, which plays an important role in cultivating baby's imagination and creativity. When the baby tells a lie like Lulu, mother should never scold him: "Lulu, what are you talking about?" Where can I find Barbie dolls?
"Smart mother will say, honey, you don't have such a Barbie doll, but you really want to have such a Barbie doll, right? How rich your imagination is! Think again, what else can you do with Barbie dolls? Can we make up a story about Barbie dolls? "
If the mother points out the baby's problems, tolerates the baby's fantasy lying behavior and induces them to lie, it will induce the baby to get rid of the wrong lying behavior and boldly imagine and create. If babies are found lying, mothers shouldn't blame them for lying. You know, this kind of treatment is very likely to kill a future Nobel Prize in Literature winner.
Strategy 2: Give your baby more opportunities to create fantasy "lies".
For example, the baby is curious about the food cooked by his mother, and the mother can have an imaginary "lying" competition while playing with the baby. Through this activity, stimulate the baby's imagination and tap their language intelligence.
While pretending to do all kinds of washing and cutting vegetables, the mother nagged the baby: "now I'm going to cook for the baby." I washed the eggplant, shredded it, and made a fish-flavored eggplant pot for the baby ... Well, the fish-flavored eggplant pot is ready, and now it's time for the baby to cook something for his mother. "
In this way, the baby will use his imagination under the guidance of his mother and cook a lot of "delicious food" for his mother or other people in the family.
Strategy 3: Make punishment more strategic.
When babies do something wrong and lie to escape punishment, mothers should not treat them as enemies. This will cause great psychological pressure on the baby, and it may not change the baby's lying behavior immediately. On the contrary, it may make the baby rely more on lying to escape punishment.
A clever mother can make use of her baby's mistakes to make other articles, which will not only make her baby understand her mistakes, but also seize the opportunity to develop her baby's intelligence by lying.
For example, a mother can directly point out the baby's mistake, gently remind the baby not to make the same mistake again in the future, and then ask them: You can make up for your wrong behavior in other ways to avoid punishment, such as making up a fictional story.
Strategy 4: Give the baby a chance to try to remedy the problem.
If the baby lies about sex, the mother must believe that the baby will correct the mistake and provide the baby with an opportunity to conceive and implement remedial measures.
This can not only make the baby introspect, but also give the baby a chance to try to remedy the problem, let them use their brains to solve the problem and form the habit of being responsible for their own wrong behavior.
For example, if the baby brings other children's toys home, the mother can let the baby think for himself. What way should be taken to make up for his mistake?
Smart babies may come up with many schemes, such as returning toys to others and apologizing; Lend your toys to others and return them to others at the same time; Return the toy to others first, then discuss with others and persuade the children to lend it to them for a while.
Reward honesty and educate children to be honest with themselves.
When children are honest, parents should praise them vigorously. It is difficult for children to know the value of honesty. Therefore, first of all, let children develop the habit of honesty through praise.
Through this process, children will understand the positive side of honesty. In addition, in order to get the approval of parents, children will try to be an honest person.
At the same time, parents should also explain to their children that after doing something wrong, it is better to admit the mistake than to lie, and tell them that the attitude of hiding the mistake is worse than the mistake itself.
Even if the child is honest, parents have problems to pay attention to. Children will not only lie for impunity, but also be honest for impunity. As parents, to educate their children to be honest with themselves, we should guide them to be proud of honesty and ashamed of lying.
Tell your child in advance the possible consequences of lying.
"You secretly bring your friend's pencil, don't give it back to your friend. What will your friends use to study? He may be scolded by his mother for losing his pencil. If your friend knows that you took his pencil in the future, he will hate you and won't play with you. "
It is far more effective for parents to tell their children the result of this behavior after asking their children the motivation and process of lying than simply saying that lying is wrong. It is also a good way for us to teach children the importance of honesty with the fairy tales of wolves.
To change children's bad habits, parents need persistent efforts and love to resolve them. So, when you lie to your child, don't panic, don't hit him, and influence him with love.
Researchers point out that white lies will not be an obstacle to children's future development. On the contrary, white lies in early childhood help them to become senior leaders, managers or financial personnel when they grow up. The researchers also said that the complex operation of the brain to form lies is the engine of children's early intellectual development.
So the next time your daughter or son tells you that he didn't steal cookies, you don't have to worry.
Children will not become pathological liars, almost all children will lie, but this is also a milestone for children to develop to a new level. Children who lie well have better cognitive development because they can cover up their shortcomings.
When lying, the brain works in a complicated way, including hiding the truth. This process shows that children have good management skills and may enter the financial industry when they grow up.
When your child lies repeatedly
It is certain that children lie, but there is no point in teaching them if they don't admit it. If neglected, they worry that children will form bad habits.
Children in early childhood are easy to confuse true and false, and there is no obvious boundary between reality and imagination. Therefore, children often confuse what they see in fairy tales, TV and movies with reality, and take strong wishes as reality. Therefore, children will unconsciously lie.
At this time, parents should tell their children that the "facts" that children believe are not true facts. It is necessary for parents to pay close attention to their children's inner thoughts at that time. Therefore, it is very important for children to tell the truth confidently. If you can't understand the child's position and criticize the child unconditionally, then the child will be afraid and make up another lie.
Of course, this is no reason for children to lie. When children grow up, they will know that they will be praised or punished according to their different behaviors. Therefore, children sometimes lie because they don't want to be punished. If this is the case, the following methods should help you.
point out
When children lie repeatedly, parents reprimand or corporal punishment will only bring the opposite effect, and fear will make children lie constantly; After repeated corporal punishment, children have a resistance to adults who practice corporal punishment. In order to avoid corporal punishment, children will tell bigger lies. Children will lie more and more for fear of being scolded.
Children always lie that they have finished their homework, but they obviously haven't done it. At this time, parents can't scold their children loudly. "Why do you always lie when you don't do your homework?" But first of all, we should understand the child's mood, such as saying to the child, "Because your friend is looking for you, you want to play with him, right?" Wait a minute.
Reference source: Women's Network, Parenting Network, Baby Parenting, Parenting Education, Early Education Network.
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