I have always warned my son not to make trouble outside, but he is not afraid of things! If you meet someone else, you must return it. No matter who hurts who, I will solve it! I'm not doing this to encourage children to hit people. I just want my children and others' children to understand that blindly "yielding" and "bullying the weak and being afraid of the hard" will pay a price!
There are too many "bullying" in schools now, and no parents want their children to be bullied. (Except for small fights between classmates, of course) So my point is that those who are beaten must fight back, and they must be more ruthless than them! Only in this way can those bullies know that you are not easy to bully!
This problem should be a problem that many parents and children will encounter.
From my personal experience, my father has set up an idea for me since I was a child: if someone hits you, you must fight back, but you must never take the initiative to hit someone, even if the other person is insulting you!
I only made a phone call once on my way to school and shared it with you for reference.
That was when I was in primary school. I am short, and most of my classes are short. However, there is a very tall classmate in my class.
This classmate is especially fond of bullying others. It is annoying to let him eat oranges today and bring things tomorrow.
One day, he asked me to bring oranges. There are many oranges in my house, and I don't care. The next day, he took my schoolbag, but didn't give it to me. I ignored him and said, the teacher is coming, you tell the teacher.
He hit me in a rage. I punched him in anger and accidentally hit him on the nose. Suddenly the blood flowed out, which startled me and made him cry. Later, I learned that it was called "sand nose", and it bled when it hit. Later, he didn't bother me or other children.
He stopped bullying and concentrated on his studies, and later his grades became excellent!
Just like you in the movie "Young Man", if Wei Lai bullied his classmates and other students fought back, maybe the tragedy would not repeat itself.
So, I don't think it's a relief, but a way to bully others' classmates, so as to achieve a harmonious campus.
I have also asked many treasure mothers about this question, and the answer is to call back. We can not advocate violence, but we must not be bullied! If a child is bullied by a classmate, it will make other students feel bullied and will always bully you!
Of course, this kind of bullying is indeed established in the school bullying incident and cannot be tolerated. Parents must stand on their children's side and help them when they come forward, and they must not let him create a psychological shadow.
Let's take another look. Who are the students who are generally bullied? Is it a child who doesn't like learning, is weak by nature and has no outstanding performance in the class? Therefore, the best way to prevent children from being bullied is to make them fall in love with learning, have enthusiasm for their classmates, have special skills and make certain contributions to the class.
Let's talk about another kind of small conflict between classmates, accidentally hitting classmates again and again. Do not belong to being bullied. If the child comes back, he will complain:
First of all, parents should ask clearly what happened, and should not impulsively go to the other parents for theory, so as not to cause unnecessary misunderstanding.
Secondly, we should guide our children correctly. Recognize the child's mood and comfort him. Only by agreeing with his mood can the child's bad mood be released almost, and then tell the child that careless things happen from time to time when classmates play together. If you always tell the teacher because of small things, this type is not attractive to the students, and the students have not learned the meaning of tolerance and tolerance.
Finally, children should be taught to say "thank you" and "sorry". There is no contradiction between children.
I have just encountered this problem before, share it.
When children are old enough to enter kindergarten, they are sent to kindergarten. As parents, in addition to worrying about whether their children can eat well, dress well and go to the toilet by themselves, they are more worried about whether their children can handle the relationship with their children well. What should they do if they are bullied?
One day I really encountered such a problem. The child came back from school and said to me: Mom, so-and-so pinched my neck today! I'm really nervous after listening to the child. Look at the child's neck quickly. There is nothing to see! I tried to calm myself down and asked the child, what should she do if the child bullied her? She: Mom, I cried when he pinched me, and then the teacher criticized him!
In fact, it is normal and common for children to quarrel. My daughter has a mild personality and seldom criticizes actively, but she will take care of her own things, and others will certainly not take them, but others will cry immediately if they take their own things without her consent, so this is the state when children don't go to kindergarten to play with relatives and children. When others hit her first, she won't fight back. She just cries. In this regard, after she went to kindergarten, I thought of the following points, hoping to help children be bullied less and be brave.
1. When the child enters the park, I take the initiative to communicate with the child's kindergarten class teacher to explain the child's personality characteristics. It doesn't necessarily mean that teachers must take special care of children, but only help teachers understand children faster. Before officially entering the park, the kindergarten has a parent-child early education class, and parents can accompany them for one month. In this month's time, they also basically understand the personality characteristics of the children in the class, so they are more focused when communicating with teachers.
2. Your child will definitely know better and give advice to the child according to his personality characteristics. I told her that if a child bullies you, you must shout it out. If the teacher is not around, you should also tell the bully's child loudly: XXX, hitting people is not a good boy, I don't like you! At home, I also let her practice, say this sentence aloud, and practice this sentence many times to make her more confident and powerful.
At the same time, I will also tell her that if she meets such a child, she can avoid him and not play games with him.
3. Believe in your child's problem-solving ability. Once after school, my daughter greeted her child warmly. As a result, the other party threw the ball directly in her face, but fortunately she missed her nose. At that time, my daughter was crying, because it was a school and my parents were there. Other parents immediately criticized their children and apologized to their daughters. The child's face is not hurt, and the matter is over! But no matter how the other child apologizes, the daughter just refuses to forgive him! The adults are embarrassed, so I have to go with her first.
Afterwards, I asked her why she didn't accept the apology. She said it was too painful, and I won't forgive him! I respect her idea. The next day, they played happily together again. Children really don't hold grudges. Actually, this is not a bad thing. As long as children don't feel anything, adults don't participate. Her own emotions are completely under control.
When the child is bullied, the mother should be the backing of the child unconditionally. Many mothers' first feeling when their children are bullied is not to care about accepting their children's emotions, but to hate iron and not produce. They even hit the child twice: Why are you so bear that you don't know how to fight back? Often at this time, the child will cry more sadly and the mother will be more angry!
I think what children want most when they are bullied is to get the understanding and support of others. The anger of parents will only make children more wronged. Instead of being angry, tell your child what to do in this situation!
5. Enhance children's ability to protect themselves. I believe that children who don't reach out and hit people are generally very peaceful and quiet children. And the family education of these children told him that hitting people is not the solution to the problem. So if something goes wrong, the way they think of is not to fight back. Here we need to strengthen the child and even give her a simulated environment. What should I do if I encounter this kind of problem? Let him practice.
6. Encourage children to be brave. My own children know best. Before, I thought my daughter was a little more delicate. Maybe someone gives her a warm hug or a child pats her, and she will be very repulsive and then cry. Later, I gave her a sensory integration test, and there were some slight problems with sensory integration. So I will encourage her to be brave and stop crying. I will do some training with her to adjust this problem. My daughter especially likes the black cat sheriff, so the black cat sheriff is her role model in our family, and the police will not cry casually.
After all, children have to grow up by themselves, and parents may only spend a few years with them. We can't protect our children for life. More often, she needs to rely on herself. Instead of standing in front of her blindly, it is better to teach her the method of self-protection and let her fly bravely!
This problem actually happened to me. When my daughter was in kindergarten, a female classmate always made verbal attacks on her. She is introverted and timid, and never tells the teacher at the first time. If there is, tell the teacher, the teacher will be too busy to take care of so many children! Once I couldn't bear it, because our parents were invited to see the teacher in that open class, and I found the child so presumptuous. I scolded my daughter as soon as the teacher turned around. When I got home, I immediately told her father. Her father said: If others bully you, you can resist appropriately, and you can't make her think that you are good at bullying others. After all, there are two things, children like to bully children who are weaker than themselves!
Later, I called her class teacher directly, explained the situation, and asked the teacher to communicate with the parents of the children first. As a result, the teacher always knew that children often behave like this to my daughter, but she never took care of it!
So I think, don't think that children being bullied is a bump between children. These are just that our parents don't pay enough attention to their children's mental health, which may easily lead to children's depression and feel that it is useless to tell teachers and parents. In this way, what our parents think indifferent psychological defects will bring to their children!
I can tell my children seriously and without quality that I want to fight back. I will also educate him when he enters school. I can't make trouble or bully my classmates. If I find out, I will punish him. But if someone bullies her, I will ask him to fight back. If someone bullies her, if she hasn't called back, she will be beaten up when she comes back.
To put it bluntly, no fighting, no bullying. Don't be bullied. School is a place to make friends and learn, and you can't fool around. China's beautiful traditional virtue is unity and friendship, and does not cause trouble.
Tell the child to call back, but don't hit the eyes, ears and other places that are easy to get hurt. When you are bullied for the first time, you should react, so that you can leave an impression that you are not bullied, and there will be no next time. When my daughter was in the first grade of primary school, her classmate was naughty and broke her paint. My daughter immediately let that classmate pay for it. She came back and told me, and I also said that students should not be so picky and tolerant. My daughter told me that her good friend had broken her things, but she didn't say anything. As a result, everyone loves to touch her things. It doesn't matter if she breaks them, because she knows she won't say anything. Therefore, the daughter insisted that the classmate who broke her oil painting compensate her oil painting. However, after that, no one dared to spoil her daughter's things, and her relationship with her classmates did not deteriorate. On the contrary, people respect her ideas more than before.
As soon as my daughter went to school, I told her: We don't bully others, and we won't be bullied by others. If your little classmates bully you, you can come back and tell your mother. If you bully your little classmates, your mother will know about it, and you can beat them severely. My daughter is a very good child who studies well. In the third grade, I transferred her to another school. A sports meeting, the child came back and said to me: Mom, * * * hit my foot with Mazar. I said: I will go to school with you tomorrow. I met that boy this morning, and I said, why did you hit her on the foot? The boy lied: I didn't hit her foot. I said, don't deny it. I'm calling you today to tell you that the next time you dare to bully your little classmates, I'll ask your teacher to call your parents and ask whether you bullied your little classmates or your parents asked you to bully them. The little boy was really scared. I said, go back to the classroom. There must be a strong parent standing behind the child, always communicating with the teacher, letting the child be bullied outside and dare to tell the parents. Do not advocate fighting back or forbearance, parents should have strong backing.
When my daughter was young, I told her not to quarrel with her classmates and make trouble and fight, so my daughter was always timid and would only cry if she was bullied! In the fourth grade, a boy in the class bullied and kicked her. The whole class didn't stop fighting, but followed suit. In a rage, the daughter pushed the boy to the ground and hit him hard, making him cry. The whole class was shocked [covering their faces].
After the teacher knew this, he contacted the parents of both sides to coordinate their work and asked about the cause of the fight. As a result, my daughter took charge, and it was also the male students who started it. ...
After this incident, no one bullied her daughter in the class, let alone provoked her, because everyone was afraid of being "beaten" [covered her face]
Therefore, blindly "don't fight with your classmates!" "Don't make trouble at school." These dolls are all wrong. It is wisest for them to learn how to protect themselves.
I am a layman, and the concept I have been instilling in my children now is: "When you grow up, you will be a big sister, and you can't bully your children, brothers and sisters." If someone hits you, you should tell her loudly that she will hit you if she bullies me; An aunt wants to tell her. Founder just can't do it first. She has something to say, and I won't be soft when she is wrong, but it must be intentional or unintentional. She did a good job. She would say to herself, "My aunt's brother hit me and my sister hit me", and she would say, "It's not right to hit someone". She won't be afraid of a real battle, and a woman older than her will fight back even if she cries. So for this problem, I will tell the child, tell the teacher for the first time and warn him for the second time. If you are bullied again, you will fight back desperately. If you can't, you will fight back. Just can't stand it, take a step back without telling the truth. Sometimes, the more you tolerate his arrogance, don't say that classmates play with each other, I will play with you, okay?