A selection of super funny jokes
1) Three generations went fishing together. Grandchildren were speechless when they saw grandpa holding a fishing rod. They said to his father, look at your father in a daze, silly! Dad was particularly angry and said, You talk nonsense, your dad is stupid!
2) Once I was sitting in the middle of a bus and an old lady came on the way. Stand up at once and give your seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Thank you. Sit down. There are many seats in the back. " I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .
3) One day, I was taking a bus. When the bus started, someone ran behind the bus and shouted "Master, wait for me" while running, only to see the driver say "Bajie, we are at the station in front, I will wait for you there".
4) What you earn is paper, but what you use is money. Life is always there, so bitter! Advise friends, don't be pessimistic, be optimistic and natural, as long as you work hard, you will be the brightest; Bless your friends, have a safe life, and money will continue to revolve around you!
5) My ex-boyfriend sent me a message saying that he would attend his wedding. I calmly replied with three words: Next time.
6) Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face & hellip& amphellip
7) The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.
8) On the way to a bus, many people crowded up from the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one invested. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest money, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!
9) Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's gone after use.
10) Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. "
Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.
12) making money is as quiet as a virgin, spending money like a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more!
13) Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have been inserted in cow dung!
14) making money is like sailing against the current, tired and tired, spending money is like sailing against the current, cool and cool! Every day of earning money is like a year, which is even more difficult. Spending money is a flash in the pan, as fast as lightning. Friends, please make more money and spend money reasonably. Good luck.
Classic super funny jokes.
1) Today, the princess kissed the frog and the frog became a prince. The prince knelt down and said to the princess, "Thank you for saving my beautiful and kind princess. I have another wish. " The princess blushed: "Go ahead, I will meet your requirements." So the prince took another frog out of his pocket. . . Another one. . . frog
2) Set up a shed to sell embroidery needles-the business is not big and the shelves are not small.
3) If you have a lot of homework, you can play cards with papers: "Children's Mathematics", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" Can't afford it, can't afford it, can't afford it, I'll run first.
4) The hardest thing in the world is not diamonds, but Conan's life! Explosion can't kill you, sea can't kill you, fire can't kill you, train can't kill you, sharp knife can't kill you, smoke can't kill you, altitude can't kill you, neck can't kill you, drunkenness can't kill you, poison can't kill you, plane crash can't kill you, poisonous gas can't kill you, machine gun can't kill you, avalanche can't kill you&; In a word, Conan never dies!
5) My router is broken. Now it's routing crying.
6) Going out in two clothes, experiencing a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, looking down at the sky, looking up at the mushroom head, slanting bangs left and right, turning a little to 28, then turning a little to 37, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls &; hellip& amphellip
7) I always thought you were cheated by a cow, but in fact you were cheated by someone.
8) Going out in two clothes, experiencing a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, looking down at the sky, looking up at the mushroom head, slanting bangs left and right, turning 28 a little, turning 37 a little, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls &; hellip& amphellip
9) "I bet I can make you forget that you are gay right now!" "But I'm not gay." "Look!"
10) Yesterday, my friend invited me to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young men around a big washbasin with all kinds of hot pot ingredients and vegetables in it! It's still hot in the basin! Should I admire your creativity or courage?
1 1) eating watermelon is cool, beauty beauty is cucumber, clearing intestines and diuresis is wax gourd, and the sweetest is cantaloupe. You are family with them. Why are you hiding underground? So you are a sweet potato. 12) I went to my brother's house yesterday and saw my little nephew who had been beaten by my good-natured sister-in-law. When I asked the truth, I laughed hysterically. Sister-in-law came home early and saw a maddening scene: the little nephew took a dip in the living room and then fed it to the dog spoon by spoon for more than a month. The first thing my sister-in-law does when she comes home from work every day is to pick up the puppy and kiss it.
13) Every day, there are ghost stories in the classrooms, canteens, libraries and study rooms of the school: a classmate points to an empty seat and says, there are people here &; bdquo& ampbdquo
14) have dinner with my buddy's restaurant on National Day. When the food is served, the buddy calls the waiter: Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise, I don't believe my buddy said simply, then why don't you bring a bottle opener? !
15) The origin of puffs The farmer's daughter fell in love with the young man who herded sheep, but her father objected. The farmer said that if they can put milk in the eggs, they should be together. Later, the couple made a snack that looked as crisp as an egg shell and contained frozen milk, which was approved by their father. The first pronunciation of a boy's name is Pufu, and the last pronunciation of a girl's name is Pufu. This snack is called Pufu.
16) It is said that the information content of a single DNA reaches bytes. In other words, the average ejaculation volume is equivalent to transmitting B data once every three seconds. Such a large amount of information can fill an iPad with a capacity, and it will take several years if it is uploaded through the Internet (bps). Man, connotation, can't afford to hurt!
Super funny humorous jokes
1) In the dormitory of college students at night, students often talk about their ideal partners at night. One summer night, the air was sultry and abnormal, and it was difficult for a boy to fall asleep in the male dormitory. Let me help you talk about the requirements for your future girlfriend. Xiao Yang is a very cheerful handsome boy and is very popular with girls. He proudly said, "Well, I'll find someone who is 1.6 meters tall, slim and handsome." He is not very handsome, but Xiao Wu, the president of the school literature society, said slowly, "I don't have high requirements for my girlfriend, as long as I am worthy of her, have a gentle personality and have bright long hair." Xiao Wang is a man with little literary talent and not handsome enough, but he is good at flattering. He sighed and said, "Well, I have the lowest requirements for my girlfriend, as long as it doesn't affect the city." ......
This is a kind of sorrow that all mankind must know, but it is not as known as people who have been poor together. Freshman girl, until Yang's children, didn't grow up, grew up in the inner room, and no one knew her. Sophomore girls have other ladies in his court, 3,000 are rare and beautiful, but his favor of 3,000 is concentrated on one body. Junior girls must fold the flowers straight, don't wait for the flowers to be spent before folding the branches! There are not many senior girls in autumn, and they have long failed. Freshman boys tried to straighten the brim of their hats and scratched their heads at the end of the world. Sophomore boy, full of Song Yu feelings, very slim. Junior boys were rewarded with flowers by me, and now there are none. Senior three boys advise you not to wake up alone. There should be some drunken flowers. However, before she started walking towards us, we called a thousand times and urged her for a thousand times, but she still hid half of her face behind her guitar from us. My ex-girlfriends had to abandon me and Bolt from yesterday, and today it hurts my heart even more. ......
3) I am so handsome. The girls in the next class always look at me in class. I picked up a dollar. I've been looking for my police uncle for a day. I ran out of toilet paper, so I had to sit in the toilet and wait for my mother to get off work. I am not happy today. I didn't want to cross the road in class and accidentally knocked off a car. One day I went to look for the car. I sit at the same table and don't talk to me in class. I sent a red scarf across the street and was hit by a train. Aliens attacked the earth. I'm sewing pants for Superman.
4) Don't be sorry. Teachers provide "excellent" environment. My neck ached, I shook it, and I accidentally meowed. See if the students next door have written the class name and seat number to avoid being detained. If you cheat, what are the reasons for cheating? Because the weather is very good today. I'm in a good mood today. Do it by the way. The classmate has already thrown away the answer, so I'm sorry I didn't copy it. I'm afraid my classmates can't write, so let's get together for "opportunity education". Train yourself to read "small print" quickly. Test your eyesight. I get constipated if I don't do it. Strengthen the ability to assist memory. Practice writing. Training instant explosive power. This teacher teaches so badly that he forces his students to cheat! (So students cheat, the teacher should review! ......
5) M, Physics Department: We have been in love for half a year now. Is it love? W: Not really. Man: What, isn't it hot enough? W: Not enough, just one focus.
6) Don't explain in front of me, because explanation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonesty, and dishonesty is lack of cleaning.
7) "Once a classmate fell asleep, it was nothing, but a classmate felt sorry for him and helped him snore, so the sleeping classmate was caught."
8) In Chinese class, the teacher taught us to be filial and asked our parents whether the day's work was smooth and whether they were tired. The next day, the teacher asked the students to report their parents' reactions. A classmate said, "My parents said," Tell me how much money you are short of. Another classmate said, "I'm really unlucky!" " My parents asked me, "Did you send out your report card today? 』」
9) At the beginning of this semester, a girl named "Peace" in the class was transferred from another school. There is an extra member, and all the students welcome him with both hands and feet, but this name is the same as that of a boy named "Peace" in the original class. Although there are still some differences in writing between the two, it is inevitable that there will be misunderstandings when calling the roll. A class meeting was held to discuss how to solve this problem. Students, you said it word for word. "This little problem is easy to solve, just change a name." "If you change your name, you can't change it." "In fact, you don't have to rewrite the law, just change your name." Everyone agreed to change the name only, so the discussion began again. ......
10) "when the teacher was correcting the paper, he found that a student explained the text like this: years: too long, the moon is over. The teacher frowned. Soon he found another student's answer: the Chinese New Year is too long, even the moon is tired. "
1 1) The fifth-grade composition teacher assigned a composition topic "Follow me". Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote:&; The weather in hellip& amphellip is very good today. I take my children to the park to play. I am driving a limousine bought by my husband, wearing a big diamond ring he just bought me on my finger and a gold necklace he gave me last month around my neck. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. I looked at it carefully. Oh, my God! She used to be my Chinese teacher in grade five.
12) personals: Don't like makeup, save money on makeup, don't like shopping, don't like snacks, save money on snacks, don't like cars, save money on cars. In addition, the kind that usually loves to save money is the best.
13) The girl is 28 years old and short of money. Today, she asked for a marriage online, hoping to find a rich man. Age is not a distance, height is not a gap, and I don't care about being fat. As long as I have money, I can stay with you. Don't contact me if I have no money.
14) When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I found that the whole world couldn't save me & hellip& amphellip
15) The mouse fell in love with the cat and sang: I love you, I love you, just like the mouse loves rice, no matter how many storms, I will still accompany you. Cat: Don't be vain. My mother said that love without marriage purpose is hooliganism!
16) lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues should be diligent and have no temper, and friends should have a runny nose, so, dear, wipe your nose quickly in the new year and have a clean New Year!
Napoleon: I can't find the word "miss" in the dictionary.