I looked up at the book on the shelf and wanted to read this one because something happened at home. Grandpa was paralyzed and seriously ill because of a fall. He has reached the edge of life, and is about to face "gone", "gone" and "gone", and I will face the death of my loved ones for the first time in my life.
I only read the first half of the book, and I'm not going to read the notes in the second half for the time being. I used to read a whole book habitually, but now I think it may be better to read what I am interested in or need selectively. After reading the first half, I think this book is suitable for reading again. Perhaps this is why we recommend reading classics. Classics are screened books with high quality and are suitable for reading many times.
Human nature is good, everyone has a spiritual conscience, but influenced by various factors, spiritual conscience or overcoming desire has the upper hand; Or succumb to desire and occupy the bottom; Or compromise with each other To know ourselves, we must first believe that everyone has a beautiful essence, and believe that we can explore this essence and overcome our desires.
Don't deceive yourself if you know yourself. We should know that there is a high probability that self-deception is not intentional, but that we lack self-knowledge and do not see through ourselves. To overcome self-deception, we must first realize the existence of self-deception.
Problems caused by self-deception
Just like when we look in the mirror, we will beautify our appearance, which is a kind of self-deception, which will make it more difficult for us to understand our appearance objectively. Of course, some people who have high demands on their looks or feel inferior may have low self-evaluation, which will greatly reduce the possibility of beautifying themselves in the mirror.
The above is self-deception in appearance, and self-deception in virtue will also bring many problems. For example, when we quarrel with friends or lovers, we always feel justified. For example, when we end a relationship because of a trivial matter, we always feel that we are not wrong, and we have paid so much for each other but have not been rewarded. And the reason why this relationship ended is entirely the fault of the other party.
We always over-beautify our virtues.
I recall quarreling with my roommate more than a month ago. Because I made a joke. She said, "Are you sick?" And all the unpleasantness caused by communication in the past was inspired by this sentence. From my point of view, I feel that every time she wants to do something, I will accompany her to try to satisfy her, but she treats me differently. I am a sensitive person. After the quarrel at that time, I couldn't sleep for two or three nights because of this until three or four o'clock. Now that I think about it, I really over-beautified my personality, but ignored her goodness. The only reason why we quarrel is that we have different attitudes towards people. She can accept this difference, but I can't.
Reasons for self-deception
Admitting one's self-deception is often accompanied by psychological unhappiness. After all, we always think we are right. The reason why we deceive ourselves is precisely because of our proud "wisdom".
We are all smart people. When we do something wrong, we often mobilize our intelligence and quickly find reasons to defend ourselves, thinking that we are right and others are at fault. However, when you look back at the incident afterwards and recall your attitude towards it, you will often get different opinions. Small things may be naive, and big things may be regretted.
Overcome self-deception
If you want to overcome self-deception, you must mobilize rationality and make yourself "stand out". From the perspective of a third party. Overcoming self-deception is not only to know yourself and deal with personnel, but also the only way to establish self-discipline. When you stop deceiving yourself, when you want to lose weight, you won't excuse "I'm not fat yet", when you plan to study, you won't excuse "I know a lot", and when you plan to get up early, you won't deceive yourself "I must get up tomorrow and start again tomorrow"
Reduce self-deception and know yourself, and you will feel that many things are beyond your control, and you will feel that you can control your life.
All men are born unequal.
People are born unequal. Although it is possible to overcome this inequality, it is by no means easy.
Recently, Gu Ailing is very popular, and her bright life has shocked many people. But people are born unequal. Most people are just ordinary people, without Gu Ailing's "destiny", with good sports cells, good looks and high IQ. There is no "wealth" like Gu Ailing, no parents from famous schools, no wealthy families and no good resources. We are just ordinary people, and it is almost impossible for us to reach the height of Gu Ailing all our lives, not to mention being eighteen.
Understand the inequality of fate, not give up on yourself, but remind yourself to do your best in everything, but don't look up to those who are from superior backgrounds but doubt themselves and envy others.
Accept/acknowledge one's destiny
We should gradually cultivate self-discipline, have lofty ideals and change our destiny, but in this process, we should also learn to tolerate ourselves.
There are some things we really can't do. For example, the "green waist" that burst into red during the Spring Festival, in addition to long-term special training factors, there are still some people's bones that are not naturally supported. For example, some people become famous overnight and get rich overnight, but you can't. People who become famous overnight and become rich overnight have either innate conditions or long-term self-accumulation, not to mention many people have both.
For those things that can't be done, we should also give up in time and find a way that suits us. In other words, sometimes we have to learn to accept our fate.
choose
Although fate is one thing, we can choose many things by ourselves. People born in poverty can choose to work hard, learn to change their destiny, or gain a skill to cross the class. In the face of despair, giving up life is fate to others, but persistence and rebirth in adversity is the choice.
Some fates, such as poverty and wealth, birth and death, we can't choose, but we can choose how to live. You don't have to shine, it is the best choice to look at your destiny calmly.
Sometimes, I also wonder what people live for. No matter how you spend your life, you will die in the end. What's the point of living, since everything that is alive will eventually be lost? After reading Mr. Jiang Yang's self-questioning and self-answering, I got a good answer, which made me look at death from another angle.
The purpose of life
There is a saying that existence is reasonable. Since nature created us to live on the earth, our existence must be meaningful.
I once thought, if we have no relatives, lovers, friends and lofty ideals in this world, just like living wealth, what is the meaning of this life? But when I read the following sentence, these questions have a good answer, which makes me look at death from another angle.
Our souls live with the help of the body, and we came to this world to endure suffering, face tests and sublimate our souls. So death is never the end of life, but the soul is not in this world and has gone to live in another world.
We live in this world, not for anyone, nor for pleasure. These are not the ultimate goals. We came to this world to suffer and cultivate our souls. Some people choose a mediocre life. When he dies, looking back at his days in this world, he suddenly wakes up or is still confused, but his arrival in this world is a test, no matter what the result is.
Writing here, I think grandpa has lived with his uncle for 30 years, and it is also because he has been cooking for his uncle's family and has fallen down many times. Paralyzed for a few days, I was rejected or even abandoned by my uncle, aunt and even grandmother. Grandpa lived for more than 70 years, and he has always been in good health, good temper and smart brain. When you come to the edge of life, you have to bear the helplessness and pain that you can't control your body, and you have to bear the coldness of taking care of your wife and little son all your life. After reading this book, I think this is probably fate, something that Grandpa must face, the purpose of life, and a major test for Grandpa in this world.
The value of life
What is the purpose of people living? Is to live to cultivate the soul. Then what kind of purpose is more meaningful? Cultivating spiritual conscience and leaving a trace of light and heat to the world is probably the value of life.
I have been familiar with the phrase "the value of life lies in dedication" since primary school, but I always think that dedication is really great, but why can we say that dedication is the value of life, and there is no value without dedication?
Now I seem to understand that the value here should have a higher meaning.
Dedication is of better value to ourselves. She gives play to our spiritual conscience and makes us better people. Dedication to this world has better value, and our light and heat will make others in this world feel warm.
Be yourself, you can realize your own value better, but you have to be dedicated and shine, and a single life is meaningful to this world. The value of life lies in dedication, so the value is twofold.
Realize the value of life
So how to realize the value of life?
If we want to realize the value of life, we should not deprive our innate spiritual conscience first.
Seriously, I used to think that the world was full of good people. Everyone knows that others have helped us, so we should be grateful. In the future, when others need help, we should repay this kindness more. I think everyone will be filial. When our parents raised us, we had to support them. This is first pure natural feelings and goodwill, and then legal obligations.
Even after seeing a lot of news. Surrogacy, abandonment, abandonment of mother, bite the hand that feeds you. I always thought none of this was true. Until this winter vacation.
Because I go to college outside, my mother will prepare a big dinner for me every winter and summer vacation. However, the meal I came back from this winter vacation is very simple and not very delicious. I realized that my grandfather was paralyzed, my parents and brothers were busy taking care of him, and there were some family disputes, so I might not be in the mood to prepare dinner for me.
Grandma gave birth to two sons, the father is the eldest son and the uncle is the youngest son. As long as I can remember, I feel that my grandparents are partial to my uncle when I treat my son. I have been living with my uncle's family, cooking for them and giving them gifts in the hostel. Grandparents obviously prefer grandchildren to my uncle's son, that is, my brother.
My uncle has been married for 20 years, and my grandparents have cooked for them for 20 years. My father has been married for 30 years, but since my father got married, my grandparents have been indifferent, which often makes me feel as if my uncle is a son and my father is not a son.
Although uncles and aunts can't say that they are completely heartless, they are really heartless.
They don't want to make money well, but spend their mind on how to take advantage. Grandparents live with their uncles and take care of their family, but they are sick. My father takes care of them and pays the medical bills. Many times, my uncle is either an excuse for not having time or an excuse for not having money.
It was just these little things before, until this time. Grandpa is over seventy years old. After several years of cancer surgery, they still let him cook and wash clothes every day. Because of old age and overwork, grandpa fell down many times, resulting in total paralysis.
But when grandpa paralyzed his uncle, he suggested that dad take his grandparents to our house to take care of them. My family doesn't agree. Grandpa is very heavy, weighing more than 200 kilograms, which is dozens of kilograms heavier than dad. On the one hand, our family has a heavy burden and really can't afford such a weight. On the other hand, in my mother's words, seeing grandparents is like a stranger, and there is no shortage of affection.
In my eyes, my grandparents have no deep feelings for my family, but to my father, they are his parents. He has feelings, and he should bear the obligation of support, but not alone.
It's really terrible to have no conscience, just like uncles and aunts have to face a lot of accusations, but they don't care. Therefore, to realize the value of life, we must first keep our spiritual conscience.
To realize the value of life, we must enlarge our spiritual conscience and have lofty ideals. This ideal should be very high and far away, even better if it contains the elements of dedication.
Ideal is a powerful driving force. What we have to do is to rely on this driving force to constantly cultivate ourselves from a small place and realize our ideals.
Finally, I ended with a sentence in the book.
First of all, do you really understand or pretend to understand the truth?
Second, what you know must be right?
Third, you get it. Did you do it?
Fourth, you did it. Did you do it?
Fifth, if you have done it, will it be absolutely correct?
There is no absolute truth, let alone the truth of being a man. Many truths do not apply to everything, not to every stage of life.
Truth often does not teach you what to do in the future, but teaches you to let go. What you do depends on yourself, not the truth. The injury you have experienced can only be cured by yourself, and no one can help you.
The truth is often very weak, just as I know not to deceive myself and not to add extra points to my moral character, and when dealing with this recent incident at home, I still feel that my family is extremely forbearing.
But although the reasons are weak, I will still choose to study and learn new reasons, which will let me let go, let me know more about myself and let me know why I am fighting.
This is how I felt when I was twenty years old. There are not many facts. After reading a few books, it is always superficial. Write this article and show it to me later.
This article is just what I feel from the book. It is not comprehensive and the thinking is chaotic. About knowing yourself and realizing the value of life, my understanding is only one or several aspects of these things.