Chapter VII Ability Education —— Eight abilities of children based on social needs

This is an era of advocating ability. In the process of educating children, we must not ignore the cultivation of ability. With a certain ability, not only the academic performance will be improved, but also the child's psychological development will be healthier.

First, the ability to live: no one will help you all your life, you must learn to stand on your own feet.

Both parents love their children, but this love needs to be in their hearts, not in their hands. Taking care of your child's life, doing everything by yourself and taking care of yourself, is not necessarily a good parent, because your child will leave you to live independently one day. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. Teaching children to live independently is true love!

Some parents think that children's main task is to study, and as for life, parents can help. As we all know, if a child can't handle his own life well, how can he handle other things well? Doing things for children, doing things for yourself and doing everything for children is not conducive to cultivating children's independent living ability. Kindness to children should be in the heart, not in the hands. The so-called love is to give children a pair of wings and let them fly freely!

The ancients all said that "parents' love for their children must be far-reaching". As parents, if they love their children, they should plan for their future. The ancients can understand, how can we not understand?

Mr. Chen Heqin, a famous education expert in China, said: "Everything a child can do should be done by himself, not by him." In daily life, we should follow the principle of "parents let go and children do it", cultivate children's self-care ability and let them do something within their power. According to children's interests and abilities, we should guide them according to the situation and teach them some skills of self-service through concrete and meticulous demonstrations.

Let children learn to do housework, and they will have the ability to live independently when they grow up. Children's self-care ability directly depends on their parents' attitude towards their children. If they want to have the ability to live, they should participate in housework management and do some housework within their power. For example, dressing, making the bed, washing socks, cleaning the room and so on.

Moreover, in the process of children's growth, housework is inseparable from the development of children's motor skills, cognitive ability and sense of responsibility. Therefore, as parents, don't underestimate housework, and guide children to participate in it at an appropriate time. The sooner you give your children a chance, the sooner you let them have a pair of hardworking hands, and the sooner you let them develop a sense of self-reliance and fighting spirit.

Second, learning ability: it is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish, and the method is more important than the result.

The future society should not only have knowledge, but also have the ability to learn. Learning ability is accompanied by children's life, and it is the basic ability of children's work, study and life. Therefore, parents must not focus on their children's grades, but pay more attention to the improvement of their learning ability!

In the future society, learning to learn is more important than mastering knowledge! In the book Learn to Live, UNESCO points out that in the future society, illiterate people will not be illiterate people, but people who will not learn and update their knowledge by themselves. Whether learning ability has actually risen to the point of whether illiteracy should be included shows the importance of learning ability to children's life.

Many children always want their parents to give them answers when they encounter problems. Parents will answer their children's questions. Although it can solve the problems at that time, in the long run, children will be very dependent on their parents. When encountering problems, they can't think independently and find answers by themselves, which is unfavorable for developing their intelligence.

Smart parents will inspire their children to think and analyze independently when they face problems, and let them find the answers themselves. In the process of finding answers, children's thinking ability will be improved. If children don't know how to do it in the process of solving problems independently, parents should give their children a demonstration, help them look up information or tell them how to do it. In short, let them think for themselves and exercise their ability to think and solve problems.

The key to learning is skills and methods. A good method can get twice the result with half the effort, and a wrong method will get twice the result with half the effort. Therefore, children should master effective learning methods.

Mastering the correct learning methods can not only reduce children's learning burden and improve their academic performance, but also make them happy and fall in love with learning. Just as I asked Niu Niu to preview well, if children can know what they want to learn, they can improve the efficiency of class; Review in time after learning, and you will be more solid and consolidate what you have learned.

Third, communication skills: contacts are wealth, and friends are benefits, which will benefit you for life.

Whether living or working, we are always in a group. But many children are withdrawn and don't know how to get along with teachers and classmates. As parents, don't think it is unnecessary to listen to children and pay attention to their inner world. Once you are habitually immersed in your own world, you will become withdrawn.

Communication ability is usually considered as the basic quality leading to success. Only when you know how to communicate with others and make friends can you get familiar with others and become friends. When you are in trouble, you will get more encouragement and help. On the other hand, a person who doesn't know how to communicate will always run into a wall and be squeezed everywhere in real life, not to mention being taken care of and cared for by others.

Empathy is a way for children to know how to get along with others. Let children think from each other's point of view, so that they will not be self-centered, understand each other's needs, and then make more friendly behaviors, narrow their distance and enhance their communication skills.

In reality, many parents ignore this point and think that children are too young to learn these skills in a hurry. Facts have proved that this is wrong. If a person wants to survive well in society, he must know how to communicate and interact with others. Therefore, parents must not despise the cultivation of children's communication skills. Parents who have had wrong ideas should change their previous education methods from now on, find opportunities to take their children to crowded places and encourage their children to communicate with their peers.

Fourth, expression ability: seize the critical period and cultivate children's expression ability.

Language expression ability is an important symbol of children's thinking and intellectual development level. Suhomlinski, an educator in the former Soviet Union, once said: "Language is the foundation of intellectual development and the treasure house of all knowledge." Children's expressive ability directly affects their growth. If children's language skills are not strong, they will not be able to express their true inner thoughts, and naturally there will be various problems and even contradictions in the process of communication with others.

Word games are the best way to exercise children's language skills. If you want to improve your child's language skills, you can try. Among them, the most commonly used mainly include the following three types:

(1) tongue twister

Teach children tongue twisters selectively according to their actual situation. In this way, it can not only exercise children's oral language expression ability, but also exercise children's agility and clarity of thinking, which is naturally conducive to the exercise of memory.

(2) Find words word by word

Finding words by word is to find related words with a central word. For example, according to the word "electricity", you can find many words related to electricity, such as "electric light", "electric fan", "TV set" and "refrigerator". This is very useful for enriching children's vocabulary and cultivating their divergent thinking ability.

(3) crossword puzzles

A crossword puzzle is to connect all the words back and forth to form a string of words, similar to idioms solitaire. For example, the light bulb can be connected under the electric light, and so on, such as bubble gum, candy and fruit.

Some children like to listen to stories, and they don't listen to their mother's stories or even sleep before going to bed at night. In the process of cultivating children's language expression ability, we can make full use of these short stories and guide children to tell them themselves. After a long time, children's expressive ability will naturally improve gradually.

Japan Kimura Kuiyi once said: "Nothing is more important to children than stories, because children are strangers in this world and the world knows nothing about them." Practice has proved that stories play an important role in children's psychological activities such as perception, attention, memory, thinking and imagination, and in the formation of children's personality quality. At the same time, the story is also the "hormone" of children's language development, which is easier for children to understand and accept.

In the process of listening to parents telling stories, don't let children simply be listeners, but let them take the initiative to participate. After a story is finished, let the children repeat it according to his understanding, or parents give them a blow and let them continue to make up. In this process, what parents should do is to guide their children to tell the story more rationally, especially to pay attention to whether the children's thinking is clear, whether the expression is accurate and smooth, and correct it when necessary.

5. Adaptability: If you can't change the environment, adjust your mentality to adapt.

In the process of children's growth, they will always experience environmental changes. Children with strong adaptability will integrate into the new environment in a short time. Children with weak adaptability will be at a loss and unable to integrate quickly. Children's adaptability plays an important role in improving their comprehensive quality.

I believe that many first-grade children will have similar problems: primary schools are different from kindergartens, and primary school teachers are also different from kindergarten teachers. So many children can't adapt to this change. In children's eyes, kindergarten teachers should be "auntie" teachers, but the conservation color of primary school teachers is gradually decreasing, the educational content is gradually increasing, and the relationship between teachers and students has also undergone great changes. In this case, parents should guide their children to analyze from another angle, teach them to respect teachers and try to adapt to the school environment and teachers.

Sixth, the ability to withstand pressure: proper frustration education is conducive to the growth of children.

If children live in applause from an early age, what they hear most is praise and praise, and they rarely experience failures and setbacks, and they are rarely criticized. If they encounter difficulties or pressures in the future, they will be upset for a while or have irreparable consequences. From this perspective, proper anti-stress education for children can make their hearts stronger and enable them to better face this fiercely competitive and stressful society.

Nine times out of ten, when life comes, if you don't have a certain ability to resist pressure, you will be devastated and even lead to unexpected consequences in the face of these blows.

Everyone will encounter difficulties and setbacks, and growing children are no exception. Children are used to walking on a smooth road, listening to good words and doing satisfactory things. As long as they encounter some obstacles in life, they will be helpless and become extremely negative. Therefore, in normal life and study, parents may wish to consciously set some obstacles to exercise and improve their children's ability to resist setbacks. However, setting obstacles is also about methods. If the method is improper, the expected effect will not be achieved.

When a child encounters failure, repeated criticism will reduce the child's self-evaluation. In this way, children will lose the courage and motivation to overcome difficulties. Even if you encounter similar problems in the future, you may be devastated and eventually achieve nothing. Therefore, only by encouraging children to face failure correctly and helping them to analyze the causes of failure in detail can they summon up courage to face all kinds of difficulties in life and study.

Leadership: The strength of leadership can predict future achievements.

Some parents always mistakenly believe that some people are born with leadership style, while others are born to be leaders. In fact, every child can become a leader, because leadership is not born, but cultivated. So, don't envy other people's children. As long as you work hard to cultivate your children's leadership, your children can also stand out!

Parents blindly let their children live up to expectations and make no progress, but may I ask: have you ever reflected on yourself? Have you ever cultivated your child's leadership ability with your heart? Don't! It is these parents who never pay attention to cultivating their children's leadership, but hope that their children will become leaders when they grow up. It's ridiculous to think of it!

China's culture is profound, and our ancestors left us a lot of wisdom, such as "a good tree in the forest will be destroyed by the wind". Although the concept of parenting of modern young parents is more and more advanced, similar concepts are still deeply rooted in our bones, so that we always show that low-key is a virtue intentionally or unintentionally. Influenced by parents, children will become less fond of expressing themselves.

Now many children are reluctant to show themselves confidently in front of everyone. For example, when the class leader is elected and the person in charge of the activity is discussed, more children show their heads silently, which is a typical performance of lack of leadership. In the long run, children will become more and more closed, and even cause lack of self-confidence.

For children, the best way to cultivate leadership is to be a class cadre. In order to be elected as a class cadre, children need to make more efforts, such as: improving their speech ability because they want to speak in the election; Improve academic performance, and children with poor academic performance cannot be class cadres; Improve the ability to get along with others. If you don't know how to get along with your classmates, you won't be a good class cadre ... and these are what leaders should have. Therefore, if you want to cultivate children's leadership ability, the best way is to encourage children to participate in class elections.

The American writer Alimu and his wife once said in the book "Adopting a Son": "When we enter the world of boys, we will find that on any occasion, boys are most concerned about: Who is the boss?" In fact, not only boys, but all children are the same. After they enter a class group, they will all care about one question: Who are the class cadres? And all the children will show great interest when they run for class cadres.

However, many parents are worried that their children will run for class cadres and delay their studies. You know, many excellent leaders and managers have been exercising since childhood. Therefore, as a parent, when your child tells you that he is going to run for class cadre, you must not stifle their desire. On the contrary, you should encourage them to make achievements in class.

Moreover, organizational ability is an important embodiment of leaders. Without organizational ability, even if you become a leader, you can't achieve results. It won't be long before you retire from the leadership position.

Having the ability of organization and coordination can help children complete one thing in an orderly and smooth way, and can also enhance mutual trust and get along well. Therefore, parents should consciously exercise their children's organizational skills in peacetime and let them organize some activities, such as cleaning, family gatherings, outings, shopping, holiday activities and so on. With the passage of time and the growth of experience, children's ability of organization and coordination will become stronger and stronger, and they will soon stand out and be appreciated by leaders after entering the society and taking part in work in the future.

Eight, innovation ability: only know how to innovate, can we develop in the long run.

The development of things needs innovation. If we stick to our original ideas, the world will die. For children, what is most needed in the future is creativity. It can be said that whoever has creative ability can occupy a place in the fierce competition. Therefore, parents must cultivate their children's creativity according to their own situation.

Innovative ability is an important aspect of children's ability training. Only by continuous innovation can we be invincible in the fierce competition in the future. Countless facts have also fully verified that in the face of this rapidly changing world full of opportunities, if you don't innovate, you will fall behind and be eliminated by society.

How can we cultivate children's creativity? If you want to innovate, you cannot do without careful observation. Any creative idea is basically obtained through observation. Therefore, to improve children's innovation ability, we can't ignore the cultivation and guidance of children's observation ability.

Observation is indeed the first step to cultivate innovative ability. Only by learning to observe can we constantly discover problems, actively explore the answers to problems, practice our own ideas, and thus form our own unique creativity. Therefore, if parents find that their children love to observe, it means that your children are on the road to innovation. At this time, we must support and encourage them, and we must never attack or stifle them.

Besides observation, imagination is another wing of creativity, which promotes the germination of innovative thinking.

Every child has a rich world in his heart. Frequently asking them what they look like is actually mobilizing their brain resources and guiding them to associate what is in front of them with an image in their minds. This process is to develop their imagination. Only with imagination can we be creative. Edison, the king of invention, once said, "Imagination is always more important than knowledge! Because knowledge is limited, imagination is the source of knowledge evolution. " It can be seen that imagination plays a very important role in promoting children's thinking development and creativity cultivation, and parents must guide their children in this regard at an appropriate time.