In math class, the teacher said to a student, "How come you can't even subtract?" ? For example, there are ten apples in your house, and you ate four. What is the result? "

The student said gloomily, "I was slapped ten times!" " "

500 ducks

A male teacher said to two noisy female students, "The voices of two women are like the cries of a thousand ducks."

After a while, the teacher's wife came to visit him. One of the female students came to report it. "Teacher, there are 500 ducks outside the door to see you."

half past eleven

In the fourth class in the morning, A is hungry and doesn't want to attend class. He sat in his seat, thinking about beef and bread.

The math teacher found him absent-minded and asked him, "What would happen if the decimal number 1. 130 moved one place to the right?"

A student replied without thinking, "there will be lunch!" " "

Probability; possibility

I visited the weather station and saw many latest weather forecasting instruments. After the visit, I asked the stationmaster:

"You said that there is a seventy-five percent probability of rain, how is this calculated? 」

Without much thought, the stationmaster replied, "That is to say, there are four people here, and three of them think it will rain. 」

figure

"Numbers don't lie," said the teacher. "If a house takes one person twelve days to build, twelve people only need one day. One hour is enough for 288 people. 」

A student went on to say, "Seventeen thousand two hundred and eighty people only need one minute, and 1,036,800 people only need one second. In addition, if it takes six days for one ship to cross the Atlantic, it takes six ships a day. Four cups of water at 25 degrees Celsius add up to boiling water! Numbers don't lie! 」

How many times?

The teacher asked in class, "How many wars took place in Spain in the fifteenth century?"

"Six times." A student answered quickly.

"Which six times?" The teacher asked again.

"The first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time, the fifth time and the sixth time."

right angle

Teacher: "You haven't proved this geometry problem, how can you conclude that this angle is a right angle?"

Student: "I measured it with a protractor."

oral examination

In class, the teacher asked the students to judge right and wrong on the spot.

Teacher: "Xiao Lin, please judge."

Kobayashi: "I think the answer should be' wrong'."

Teacher: "Why?"

Kobayashi: "Because Xiaoyan answered correctly earlier, but you didn't let her sit down."

Questions and answers

Teacher: "I give my classmates two questions." Whoever answers the first question will not be asked to answer the second question. " Now I ask the first question: Who knows how many hairs they have? "

Xiaoli: "I know, I have 99,999 hairs."

Teacher: "How do you know?"

Xiaoli: "Teacher, this is the second question. You can't ask me to answer. "

Paradox problem

I am discussing a paradox with my classmates: the only barber in the village has to cut the hair of those who don't, and ask who the barber is. It's really hard! Barbers cut their own hair, so they cut their own hair. A barber won't cut his own hair unless he cuts his own. How profound! The discussion was fruitless for a long time.

Qianmou, a classmate in the back row, inserted a sentence: "This is not simple, the barber is bald!"

Interesting job search

Chen Liyan went to apply for a job. The manager asked him, "How much salary do you ask for a year? 」

"With my working ability, I should be able to earn an annual salary of 18,000 yuan," Chen Liyan said.

The manager stared at him for a while, and then said, "Is it worth a year 18000 yuan?" Is it clear? There are only 365 days in a year. If you sleep eight hours a day, a year is 122 days. 365 days minus 12 1 day. Furthermore, you have eight hours of rest and entertainment besides going to work in the mountains every day, which means 122 days a year. Then subtract 12 1 day from 243 days, leaving only 12 1 day. But there are 52 weeks in a week, and there is no work on Sundays, so 12 1 day subtracts 52 days to leave 69 days. At the same time, every Saturday afternoon is a holiday, so there are 26 days in a year, so 69 days MINUS 26 days leaves 43 days. Minus the two-week annual leave given by the company, there are only 29 days left. Don't forget to have an hour's lunch every day, which means 15 days a year. 29 MINUS 15, leaving 14 days. Excluding public holidays such as the new calendar year, the old calendar year, Mid-Autumn Festival, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas *** 10, that is to say, I only work four days a year. Do you think it's worth 18 thousand yuan? 」

count

My son is three years old. He already knows how to count from one to ten, and he also knows that five is bigger than one. I also look for opportunities to teach him at any time and ask him which is bigger, the dog or the kitten.

Once, I took a chocolate in my left hand and two chocolates in my right hand and asked him, "Which side is more?" "。 My son didn't answer, so I continued to ask patiently. The son burst into tears and said, "There are few noodles! " "

polygraph

Dad has a polygraph. He asked his son, "How was your math today?"

The son replied, "90 points." The polygraph rang.

The son changed his mouth and said, "70 points." The polygraph is still ringing.

Dad shouted angrily, "I used to get more than 90 points." At this time, the polygraph fell down without sound.

fact

Editors of newspapers and periodicals often go to extremes and tell readers irrelevant facts and statistics to show that the reports are true and vivid. A year later, a new workers' republic was founded in Africa. The editor of a famous magazine instructed the reporter to write a report about the luxurious presidential palace. The article arrived and began: "Hundreds of steps lead to a high wall, and inside the wall is the presidential palace." The editor read this sentence and decided not to publish it. He telegraphed the reporter and ordered him to find out the exact number of steps and the height of the fence.

The reporter immediately set about obtaining these important facts. After a long time, the magazine will be published and the editor is impatient. He sent two urgent messages to the reporter, but he didn't get an answer. The editor managed to publish the article as originally written. A week later, the editor finally got a call back from the reporter. It turned out that the unfortunate reporter was not only arrested, but also put in prison. After pleading, he sent a telegram and reported to the editor. He was arrested when he counted to the 884th step leading to the wall of the presidential palace.

cheat

The teacher announced the results:

"Xiaohua 30 minutes, Xiaoming 20 minutes ..."

Piglet: I got an O!

Dog: What should I do? Me too ...

Piglet: We both got the same score in the exam. Will the teacher think we cheated?

Love circle

A young man and a young woman are sitting on the beach. The young man drew a circle on the ground and said, "My love for you, like this circle, will never end."

The young woman also drew a circle on the ground with her finger and said, "My love for you will never begin".