This is a problem that puzzles many parents. Parents who have experienced that period know that it is only a process and will only exist for a while. Parents who are experiencing some uncertainty about what to do with their anxious children at home. I even worry that children will not catch up with others in the long run, and the situation will get worse and worse, so the smoke of war will often diffuse at home.
So, what should we do for a child who just doesn't want to do his homework when he goes home?
Please let me go back to two years ago, because at that time, I was more confused about this problem than anyone else. Can be said to be racking their brains, eager to find the answer to the question.
20 12 65438+ 10/0/5 at 20: 30, Tan Xiao in grade three only did her math homework once, but her English homework and Chinese homework haven't started yet, and her Chinese book has disappeared. After countless failures in patience and reasoning, I broke out again. I forced Tan Xiao, who was dawdling on his lessons, to stop and pull him aside. After some harsh words, I dragged Tan Xiao to the door and threatened Tan Xiao to drive him out of the house. After calming down, Tan Xiao's father and I sat on the sofa silently, only sighing, and the air was filled with complete despair.
What else can I do? I tried shouting, beating, losing my temper, threatening, intimidating and conniving. The child is still that child, but I am no longer me. In fact, in retrospect, I find that what I lack is patience. But by this time, patience has run out, son, there is no hope!
201210/6, I calmed down and began to think about what can help me change this situation. I contacted Mr. Xie, the head teacher in Tan Xiao, on QQ, and Mr. Xie sent me a document, which was an article teaching parents how to help their children with their homework. In fact, such articles are everywhere now. At that time, I read this document several times, then began to ponder over my own methods and the concept of digestion I understood from the document, and finally decided to try it with the method of "money encouragement".
20 12 12 13 in February, this method was used for two months and achieved initial results. Tan Xiao can finish his homework on time, so that the atmosphere at home is no longer dignified.
At that time, I wrote an article entitled "Parents of Primary School Students Look at Boys who are too rebellious", and I felt a lot.
20165438+1October 2 1 2065438 I wrote another article, which is similar to the previous one, except that the method was changed from "money encouragement" to "passbook activity".
Later, in order to make it easier for me and Tan Xiao to implement, I wrote down these requirements of Tan Xiao in different categories, and then posted them in their respective areas.
For example, at the door, I will post a claim form for him after he enters the door, and at the restaurant, I will post a claim form for him to eat.
Next to the sofa, in the bedroom, there are two forms with other requirements.
In the toilet, next to the desk, there is also a corresponding demand table.
If Tan Xiao meets the requirements, I will put a small seal on the corresponding requirements, and put a small cross on the ones that don't. Then, according to these seals and crosses, Tan Xiao will get corresponding rewards according to the corresponding scores.
In fact, the method is still the same, except that it is more intuitive to paste the wall demand table, and Tan Xiao will be easier to get started. Tan Xiao can also clearly know what he did well and what he did badly. My workload is also easier than keeping accounts every day.
Later, Tan Xiao's work habits were greatly strengthened. In order to make Tan Xiao change in other aspects, we have revised our "management measures". This method is a bit like the "praise wall" that Martin once developed. In other words, I specially prepared a notebook to record Tan Xiao's good performance and bad performance every day. One point will be scored for those who perform well, and one point will be deducted for those who perform poorly. Every Friday, I will count the scores for one week, make a summary, and then give a reward for one week.
As long as Tan Xiao has anything positive and commendable that day, I will give him a point, otherwise I will deduct a point.
One advantage of this method is that the management content is no longer fixed, so I can master it flexibly and adjust the content according to different periods; The second advantage is that the reward for Tan Xiao is basically controllable. I feel that his "small treasury" is too rich or needs to be spent, and it can be adjusted according to the management content to achieve a more balanced effect; The third advantage is that he went underground from the ground. At this time, Tan Xiao no longer needs constant constraints, and can see the "rules" without looking up. I hope he can observe and develop some good living habits without restraint and turn these good things into fixed ones.
Now this "rule" is just a way for Tan Xiao to get pocket money. And I, because of these "rules" to restrain Tan Xiao, can naturally reduce a lot of nagging and avoid many contradictions.
This method is the method we are using now. Maybe there will be a revised version in the future, or maybe we will "retire" in the future, depending on the development of Tan Xiao.
Then, with these methods, can children definitely get rid of the problem of procrastination?
No, these methods are not so much restraining children as restraining our parents.
After we turn all the demands on our children into one code of conduct after another, don't be wordy and lose your temper. Instead, we should calm down, spend time with our children, find out the real reason why children don't want to do homework, and help them adapt to learning and fall in love with it.
What is the use of these rules and regulations? With it, can children become obedient as if they were enchanted?
No, it's actually parents, more hidden behind these rules and regulations.
Two years ago, I was in a hurry, as if the world was coming to an end. During this period, I experienced many difficulties and setbacks. I am also growing up with my children, and I gradually understand that the growth of children is urgent!
These methods are just a means, and we only use them to bind the makers and those who abide by them. After these methods, we should always think about summing up and changing, which is the real method.
Therefore, behind these measures, there are also preventive measures:
First, you have to prepare an alarm clock for your child to count down.
I bought a countdown alarm clock on X Bao, which is very cheap, 29.6 yuan including freight. The function is simple. Before Tan Xiao does his homework, first estimate the time required for homework, such as math for 30 minutes, and then Tan Xiao will set the countdown to start in 30 minutes, and then start to do his homework. The countdown alarm clock always shows how many minutes are left, and when the time comes, it will tick. This alarm clock is on Tan Xiao's desk. Seeing fewer and fewer people, Tan Xiao will speed up its own pace.
If he finishes his homework on time, I will give him a point. This alarm clock is equivalent to saving you countless reminders: hurry up, it's getting late!
An alarm clock will help you, and children can also form the habit of controlling time. The alarm clock can also be a good helper in our kitchen, killing two birds with one stone. Or now there is a timer function in the mobile phone, but the mobile phone is easy to distract children, or there is no alarm clock to use.
Second, a positive reminder.
If the child is distracted at the beginning of homework, you can gently remind him: "Only 10 minutes left! Come on! " Or "Wow, you wrote so much so quickly, it seems that you can finish it on time!" " "Positive reminders are very important. This effect is better than saying "Don't do your homework quickly" 100 times. Children can only write fast if they want to, and will only linger if they are forced to write.
Third, relax the scale appropriately.
First, figure out what you want from your child. As long as children finish their homework according to the time requirement, it is a good change and worth encouraging. If the child finishes his homework on time, all he gets is your sentence: "Although the homework is finished on time, the handwriting is not very good!" " "or" although I finished my homework so quickly, there are many mistakes! " "In this case, it is undoubtedly a pot of cold water for children who are full of expectations.
Your request is that children don't muddle along, so if the handwriting is not good and they always do wrong questions, let such problems pass first, and the children's progress will come little by little. It is impossible to suddenly become a perfect child. Relax the requirements and adjust slowly, and the child will move steadily in the direction he wants.
Fourth, there should be no extra homework.
I feel that children don't dawdle and finish their homework on time, but they always give them extra homework, which is always so contradictory. If there is extra homework, a child who actively does homework may become a child who doesn't like doing homework, let alone a child who doesn't want to do homework.
Many parents believe that the reason why children always do wrong questions is because there are too few exercises and more questions, which is helpful for mastering knowledge points. However, I don't know that it is these extra homework that can never be finished that makes children tired of learning come into being. It's really not worth the loss to get a high score on the problem, but to get a child's aversion to homework.
Fifth, lower your requirements.
Maybe other children can finish their homework in 30 minutes, but your child needs 1 hour, but as long as the child spends 59 minutes the next day, it is an improvement. If you give him affirmation when he makes progress, he can make progress day by day in only 58 minutes on the third day. Children are most afraid of comparing with other people's children. If you compare with other children, you will find that you can never compare with them.
Lower your requirements and see your child's progress every day, and your child will get better and better.
Sixth, modify the rules flexibly.
Maybe a rule can't be perfected at once. Just like many national regulations, we also need 1, No.2 and No.3 regulations to meet all kinds of situations in children's growth!
Children change all the time. Reasonable rules can be formulated according to the changes of children to achieve better results. When revising the rules, we must respect the children's opinions and not "speak at one word".
Seventh, don't lose your temper.
I found this article mentioned in many places. Since the rules have been made, you should not lose your temper blindly, because children will be rewarded for doing well, and points will be deducted for not doing well. Since the points have been deducted, why lose your temper again? Rules are used to bind us both, not just the children.
Children don't want to do their homework, and there are always reasons for not doing it. Losing your temper will not help the incident itself, it will only make them roar and make the children panic or uneasy.
Calm down, accompany with your heart, and calmly solve the problems encountered in your child's homework. One small stone after another moved away, and the child naturally wanted to move forward.
Eighth, use your head.
Fighting with children requires wisdom. It is necessary to turn the struggle into a game and let the children be willing to participate. In the process of the game, we also need to use our brains all the time to come up with some good ideas to make the rigid rules interesting.
Ninth, stick to it and summarize and improve.
Stick to it firmly and you will see the result. Everything needs persistence. If you insist, the child will insist.
In addition, any good method has something to do with the people who implement it. You need to feel and understand with your heart, and express it with your own management style. It is meaningless to copy it. This kind of money encouragement is good or bad, because when it appears, Tan Xiao will change. At some point, it really helped me a lot.