Psychologist Robert Jeffrey Sternberg put forward the theory of "Three Elements of Love": * Affection: feelings between two people who share joys and sorrows, communicate with each other and support each other. * Passion: Arousing emotions aroused by human body, which may be sexual arousal or may come from other needs. * Commitment: the decision to love or accompany another person, and the degree of keeping this commitment. The above three elements form a triangle, and triangles with different structures reflect different love combinations: 1, no love combination: none of the three elements is a love combination. 2. Romantic love: affection+love. Being close to each other, sharing everything, and being physically attracted at the same time don't need a lot of commitment at first, which may be good or bad. 3, family combination likes: only family. They are close to each other and can communicate well, but they don't feel in love. 4, the illusory combination of fatuous love: love+commitment. Based on sexual attraction and unrealistic imagination, it is typical of love at first sight, vows of eternal love and lightning marriage. 5. Family: Only love. Love is like fire, but there is neither affection nor commitment between them. 6. Family+commitment. Feelings based on mutual respect, * * common interests and strong friendship have a deep attachment relationship. Their relationship may not be very strong, but their feelings are relatively stable and long-lasting, caring for each other and depending on life and death. 7. Commitment combination empty love: only commitment. There is no longer any love and affection between husband and wife, but they still live together because they keep their promises or habits. 8. Perfect love: affection+romance+commitment. Robert Jeffrey Sternberg emphasizes love more, but the duration of infatuation is limited, from 30 months to less than 6 months, while Li Ao thinks it is only 3 months. Another thing: Master Robert Jeffrey Sternberg once established a mathematical model for love-"love triangle theory". In order to have a more perceptual and clear understanding, first explain the basic concepts of this theory. In the love model, the three angles of the triangle represent intimacy, passion, decision and obligation respectively. Intimacy is the emotional component of love, including sharing self, caring for each other, intimate communication and respecting each other's values, that is, spiritual communication and soul dependence. According to Erickson's definition of intimacy: "the ability to form a specific friendly relationship and partnership, and the ability to develop moral strength to follow each other's obligations", it shows that intimacy does not necessarily require physical or sexual contact. This is the essential difference from passion. Passion represents the elements of motivation and stimulation, including the desire for romance, physical attraction and the satisfaction of sexual requirements, that is, the yearning for noumenon. Decisions and obligations are the cognitive components of love, that is, the initial decision of one person to love another person and the long-term obligation to maintain this love, that is, the premise of love in our usual sense and the responsibilities and obligations in love. According to several basic forms of triangle, we can roughly draw several manifestations of triangle love theory. Specifically: balance triangle: that is, an equilateral triangle with three angles of 60 degrees, that is, the distribution of intimacy, passion, determination and obligation is roughly matched in love, showing a balanced relationship. Unbalanced triangle: that is, the distribution of the three is focused, and one of them is dominant, showing an unbalanced form. Except equilateral triangle, several other triangle figures belong to this kind, but the proportions are different, and their basic forms are divided into three types, as follows: 1. Intimacy is an important triangle-that is, lovers may be more like good friends, but physical attraction and constraints on the future are not so important, such as brother-sister love relationship; Second, the most passionate triangle-that is, more physical contact and sexual attraction, such as one-night stands and mistresses, is obviously a typical case; Third, the triangle centered on decisions and obligations-that is, it shows a high degree of constraint on the future, while passion and intimacy are relatively weak. For example, the matchmaker marriage in ancient China showed more about the rights and obligations between husband and wife. Triangle is considered to be the strongest figure in geometry, so what about in love? Does love triangle mean that love is strong? In fact, it has long been proved that love is the most insecure thing in the world? The reasons can basically be summarized as follows: First, the love relationship is not composed of one triangle, but of two triangles. Everyone has their own love triangle, and their attention to love is different. Some people like intimate love, some people pay more attention to passion, and some people pay more attention to responsibility in love. Love is only possible when two triangles meet or complement each other. This is the fundamental reason why some people can't contact. Secondly, according to the famous theory of "ID, ego and superego" in psychology, everyone has an idealized love triangle in his heart, which may be different from the concept in reality. For example, some people regard material conditions as the premise of love in reality, and they are more eager for intimate love in their ideals. This hidden difference is also the possible reason why love may not necessarily occur or deteriorate after it occurs. The love tragedy between Princess Diana and Prince Charles is enough to prove this point. Thirdly, it is the "activity" of love triangle, that is, the importance and intensity of these three components will change differently in different love relationships, different times and different genders. In the early days of love, the demand for passion may be the core, but as the passion fades, the proportion of intimacy and obligation may rise. In other words, even if the love triangle between two people is consistent at first, it may change with the passage of time. Once their triangle differences are too big, or even serious conflicts occur, the death of love will become unstoppable. The "three-year period" in love and the "seven-year itch" in marriage are typical manifestations.