I am Li Liang homophonic: I am your mother's homophonic joke: At a village meeting, because of homophonic, the village head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, that's enough for today. Come to a big bowl. ) On one occasion, two scholars visited Ouyang Xiu, a great writer in the Song Dynasty. On the way, they happened to be sitting in the same boat with Ouyang Xiu, but neither of them knew Ouyang Xiu. These two scholars also know a little about poetry, but they think they are experts. At this moment, a white goose suddenly jumped into the water, and the two of them couldn't help being poetic and picturesque by generate. One man shouted, "There is a goose on the shore," another man replied, "Jump into the river." Both of them muttered to themselves, but they couldn't recite the following poem or make up a poem. Seeing that they were in a hurry, Ouyang Xiu helped to sing: "White hair floats with green water, and red palms stir up clear waves." The two scholars were surprised to see Ouyang Xiu say such a good poem, but on second thought, they felt something was wrong. One of them shouted at Ouyang Xiu: "You are so thick-skinned. Is this poem yours? " Ouyang Xiu smiled and said, "This poem is really not mine. It was written by Luo, one of the four outstanding figures in the early Tang Dynasty, when he was a child. " Hearing this, the two men laughed: "I tell you, with your appearance, you can also read poetry." Ouyang Xiu just laughed. Soon, three people got off the boat. Two scholars saw a pile of ash on the shore and wanted to show their poems. One man shouted, "Look at a pile of ashes from a distance", and another added, "Look at a pile of ashes from a distance." Due to lack of talent, the two of them can't stand it any longer. I saw Ouyang Xiu chanting unhurriedly, "A gust of wind starts and the sky is full of snow." Hearing this, they were all surprised, knowing that Ouyang Xiu was singing a good poem, but they were unwilling to give up. One of them pretended to say, "This is not a clever sentence, so-so." The other said, "I'm connected, but I'm a little reluctant." They walked on, and soon they saw a dead tree by the roadside. One scholar chanted, "A dead tree by the roadside", and another chanted, "Two big branches." Two people want to sing, but can't think of words, so they have to sing these two sentences over and over again, with their eyes straight. Ouyang Xiu couldn't see the past, so he added two sentences to them: "Moss is a leaf from spring to the sun, and snow is a flower in winter." After listening to them, they still refused to give up and continued to compete with Ouyang Xiu. They chanted, "They both went aboard to visit Ouyang Xiu." Ouyang Xiu laughed to himself after hearing this, and immediately said, "Xiu already knows you, but you don't know Xiu (shame)." Zhihu Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" & gt& gt& gt Pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" ">& gt& gt The dog said," My mother calls me a puppy, which is quite nice! """>& gt& gt Chicken said," You talk, I'll go first! " ">& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt The rabbit said," I am a rabbit! """>& gt& gt pig said," I'm a son of a bitch! " ">& gt& gt Chicken said," I am a son of a bitch! """>& gt& gt The dog said," You talk, I'll go first! " ">& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt0 sparring partner said," Outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice! ">& gt& gt65438 +0 sparring partner said," It's good to have an outsider! ">& gt& gt No.2 sparring partner said," It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort! ">& gt& gt No.3 sparring partner said," You talk, let's go first! ">& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt The cat said to me," I'm your grandmother's cat. It's beautiful! """>& gt& gt The dog said to me," I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice! " ">& gt& gt Fish said to me," I'm your grandmother's fish, which sounds nice! """>& gt& gt Bear said," You talk, I'll go first! " & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt Lang Ke said, "People call me a ronin, which is good! ">& gt& gt samurai said," It's nice to be called a samurai! "The>& gt& gt expert said," It's nice to be called an expert! """>& gt& gt swordsman:" You talk, I'll go first! " & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt Jane Zhang said, "My fans say my idol is Ying". & gt He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jay" >> said, "My fans who worship me say, my idol is Chang" >> Chris Lee said, "You talk, I'll go first!" & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt The advanced mathematics teacher said: I teach advanced mathematics this semester. The physics teacher at>& gt University said: I teach big things this semester, and the analog electronics teacher said: I teach analog electronics this semester. & gt& gt The socio-economic teacher said: You talk, I'll go first. & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt Peking University said: I am from Peking University. & gt& gt& gt Tianjin University said: I am older. & gt& gt& gt Shanghai University said: I went to college. & gt& gt& gt Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first! & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! & gt& gt& gt General Fu said: I am just! & gt& gt& gt General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! & gt& gt& gt General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first! & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt Lao Zhang's door is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door >>& gt Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic. & gt& gt The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said that the door of my house is a brick door. & gt& gt Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first! & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt Bai Yu said: My name is White. & gt& gt& gt Emerald Jade said, my name is Jasper. & gt& gt& gt Redjade said, My name is Redjade. & gt& gt& gt Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first! & gt& gt& gt& gt& gt& gt The students in Teachers College said: I am from Teachers College;>& gt The students in Railway Institute said: I am from Iron Institute;>& gt The students in Vocational College said: I am from Vocational College; & gt& gt technical school students said: You talk, I'll go first.

1. When a leader of Chaoshan area warmly received guests from other provinces on board, he said seriously, "Today, there are big waves. Let's take some birth control pills to avoid dizziness. "

Everyone blushed. Then, the leader warmly greeted everyone: "Come on. Please go to the bedside (bow) and sit on the bedside (bow) to see your wife (in the suburbs). Really more beautiful!

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese. How much is it to say "sleep" (jiaozi)?

The young lady was very embarrassed and immediately became very angry.

.....

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program" (mustard)

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

3.b: What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?

A: Chicken nuggets (quick)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

Celery was walking, and suddenly he felt a pain in his stomach. Then he said "shh". What did you say he took out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

Homophonic crossword puzzle:

1. One big and two small, guess a word and the answer is: Nai.

2. 1 7th, guess a word, and the answer is: fat.

3. One hundred MINUS one, guess a word, the answer is: white.

4. A family of eleven, guess a word, the answer is: Ji.

5. Half a person, guess a word and the answer is: companionship.

6. Talk for half a month, guess a word and the answer is: fat.

7. Be arrogant and guess a word. The answer is: smelly.

8. A cow, guess a word, and the answer is: health.

9. At nine o'clock, guess a word, and the answer is: pill.

10. Including one person, the answer is: meat.

Homophonic ancient poems:

1. Wen Tingjun, Yang Liuzhi

A candle at the bottom of a well keeps Lang Changxing from going. (candle indication, expired)

Linglong dice Anhoudou, what do you know about bone acacia?

2. Zhu Yuxi

The willows in Jiang Shuiping are green, and I can hear the songs on the Langjiang River.

Rain in the east, sunrise in the east, said it was not sunny, but it was still sunny. (Sunshine-Affection)

Homophonic couplets:

1. Bend down and draw the water god with the symbol of the year old (homophonic in English "1234567")

The snake played a prank on the Buddha and slept in a clay bowl (homophonic in English "765432 1")

2. Part I: Where can the lotus be inserted when the monk crosses the river?

Part II: Assistant Minister travels around the world. Who planted persimmon trees in front of him?

Xinlian: The members are deeply impressed, and the prestige on their faces is outrageous! (heartless)

3. Part I: What is a director, what is a director and why?

4. Shanglian: Xiangyang Gate is always in the first spring.

Downward; There are more than fish in the celebration of good people.

5. Part One: Monks.

Downward; Beautiful women hold embroidery (scholars) in front of the hall.