In your case, I suggest you relax yourself. You need to get out of your nervousness and depression and take a vacation for yourself. Cover yourself with a quilt, sleep for two or three days, think nothing, and let your body feel relaxed. Let's go exercise. After working so hard for so long, the strings are too tight and prone to problems. It's best to stop resting and save your strength. You are no longer fit to push yourself. On the contrary.