How to cultivate children's patience _ How to educate children, feel that children have poor self-control and have no patience?

The following excerpt is taken from PTE. Lhp.xkjjs.com, during my stay in VDS, I hope I can help you.

Parents should first understand their children's temper and ability. At the same time, parents should set an example. If parents have no patience, it is difficult to cultivate children's patience. Parents should always pay attention to their performance in life and try to be a patient example. Mao Mao couldn't wait to eat chocolate before the cake was finished. Seeing the interesting slides on the playground, Mao Mao ignored the children in front of the queue and insisted on playing first. When attending an interest class, Mao Mao found that he couldn't do it well, so he gave up easily. When the demands are not met in time, he immediately loses his temper and even loses control of his emotions ... All this, Mao Mao, 3, is a "hothead" in the eyes of his parents and has no patience when he is in trouble. Early education experts say that children's endurance is actually inversely proportional to their age, but the trait of "patience" must be cultivated from an early age. Experts suggest that parents should gradually cultivate their children's endurance, patience and perseverance from early childhood to primary school. If children get incorrect guidance and education, they may have to bear the "bad consequences" when they grow up. For example, children are easily influenced by their own emotions, and it is unbearable to be slightly dissatisfied. They can't think calmly about solving problems and can't bear setbacks, which will affect their work and life. Method 1: deliberately let the children wait for Jiajia. Jiajia usually can't wait to get something, such as watching cartoons, cutting the watermelon she just bought or telling another story. Jiajia's mother will tell her that she can get it, but it will take some time. Give Jia Jia time to experience and compare, and let her know what "waiting" is. During this time, you can sing a short song to your child or count from 1 to 10. Let children understand that "waiting" is only a short time. Expert comment: The methods listed in the above cases are very practical for cultivating children's patience. To cultivate children's patience, you have to try to explain to them, let them know how long to wait, and then ignore the possibility that children will bother you. However, for preschool children, don't let him wait for 5 minutes. You can wait 1 minute at first, and then increase it to 3 minutes. Generally, training at home will be better. Tip: You can also do something while the child is waiting, such as keeping the child quiet when the mother answers the phone 1 minute. If the child can wait quietly for 1 minute, the mother should praise him like this: "You are so patient that you can play by yourself while the mother is talking." If the child can't listen, then you can ignore him for the next 1 minute and explain the reason to her. To do this, parents need to harden their hearts, otherwise the training will be in vain. Method 2: temporarily divert attention. When parents are about to talk to friends, they might as well give their children a little thing that he has never seen or doesn't let him play. When the child knows what it is, or what he can do with it, you end the conversation. Expert comment: If you are a toddler, it is a good idea to give him a toy. Because most children around the age of 2 have no ability to divert attention. But if children reach the age of 3 or 4, they should be encouraged to find something to do by themselves while waiting. Tip: If a parent gives a 3-4 year old child a toy, it means that the parent is responsible for his own behavior, which is not conducive to cultivating the child's patience. Let children draw a picture while waiting, or read a book by themselves, and do something that children are usually interested in, so that children can learn how to kill time by themselves. Method 3: Tacit communication skills If parents meet acquaintances on the road, they need to talk a few words. At this time, if children want to get attention, they can cultivate tacit understanding with their parents in advance. For example, let the child put his hand on his parents' hand, and the parents hold his hand and tell him: I know your requirements and I will meet you as soon as possible. This way, you can communicate with your children without interrupting the conversation with others. Expert comment: Although this method can provide physical contact for children, it can make him feel at ease and let him be quiet for a while when talking to adults. But children are not required to leave their parents and do something by themselves. He still relies on his parents to calm himself down. Teaching children what patience is is a long-term process, not only to teach children to do something during the waiting time, but also to convince him that waiting patiently for a little time will eventually get what he expects. Tip: It is difficult for children aged 3-4 years to understand how long it will be "10 minutes from now", and it is necessary to relate some things that children know during training. For example, you can say to your child, "It takes 10 minutes to braid your Barbie doll and put on a skirt. Mom will tell you a story." In this way, children will gradually understand the concept of length of time. Your patience determines a child's character. Recently, I found that I was basically not angry about having a baby from my heart. It can be said that "meditation internal strength" has achieved initial results. I have always advocated complete reasoning education. Of course, I always do this, trying not to beat and scold children. On the surface, I did it, but in fact, there is always an impulse to beat and scold in my heart. Now I finally did it. Anyone who has seen the American film A Journey to the Mind will be moved by the efforts of the master mother. The master is blind, but he has a gift for music. It is because of the confidence and constant encouragement of the master mother that the master finally succeeded. In fact, as far as a child is concerned, many aspects of understanding are no different from those of the blind. It is easy for a blind person to make wise hopes and incentives, but it is always impossible for children. Of course, meditation doesn't mean never being angry. If the child does something unsafe or impolite (these are the two basic points I set for my son), he is not angry, but I will pretend to be angry on the surface and let the child know that there are some things to do and some things not to do. Although this process of making children understand things is completely reasonable, in some cases, children must be made aware of the seriousness of things. The reason why I tried to do this is because the effect of doing this is gradually emerging, and my son has made great progress in all aspects, which is gratifying. My son's education, I focus on character development at present, completely ignoring the so-called score education. In the past semester, I took countless math exams, and I basically didn't ask the scores, and I didn't even ask what I did wrong in each test paper. In fact, it is not difficult for children to get good grades temporarily. The difficult thing is that children can have a good personality and good quality, which can't be done in one day. In such a fierce competitive environment, it is natural for parents to attach importance to academic performance, but in general, although parents know the importance of personality and quality, they always have a constant wait-and-see attitude in their actions. Good character, good quality, cultivated since childhood, depends entirely on your patience. A good father patiently listens to his children-a child's inner world needs to be listened to attentively. If a father ignores listening, he can't be a popular good father in the eyes of his children. One day after school, my father went to school to pick up Chen Hu. Along the way, Chen Hu has been telling his father about himself: who is he in conflict with; Whoever has a new MP3 player wants one. The Chinese teacher criticized him again ... Dad walked and listened unresponsively. Suddenly, Chen Hu's voice faded. He whispered, "Dad, I almost forgot. The teacher asked us to buy a new issue of Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. Impatient: "Why didn't you say so earlier? Now I have passed the bookstore. " Dad walked back reluctantly. When the son saw it, he said angrily, "Go ahead, I'll buy it myself." Dad said angrily, "why are you so disobedient!" " Chen Hu also replied angrily, "Did you hear what I said? You don't care about me at all. I'm so pathetic. "Expert listening is a good way to improve communication, promote understanding and get close to children. If a father wants to care for his children, he must learn to listen to their words and understand their understanding and views on the world. Dad really listens to the child's voice, which is the performance of treating the child equally. The child is growing into an independent individual. It doesn't matter if my father always treats him like a child. If he likes to deprive children of their right to express their wishes at will and is unwilling to listen to their wishes, it will lead to misunderstanding between father and son, make children feel that they are not respected and bring mental harm to them. Dad doesn't want to listen to his children because he always thinks he is still a child psychologically. Children are short, weak and dependent in the father's mind, and everything needs parents' control. However, dad often ignores that children are also independent individuals, thus making the mistake of role positioning and depriving children of their independent will. Children's independent will includes freedom of speech, independence of action and making their own decisions. Dad should respect the child's independent will. Some dads are willing to make these choices and decisions for their children and refuse to listen to their hearts. Such a father closes his ears and listens to the child's wishes, closing the child's heart. Learning to listen is the embodiment of respecting children's independence. Listening to children can not only improve children's expressive ability, but also allow fathers to enter their inner world and experience their joys and sorrows. Dad's listening also gives children the freedom to grow up spiritually. Only when children are free can they grow rapidly in all aspects. It is suggested that dad spend some time with his children every day when talking to them. During this time, the child has the right to control his father, and the father and son can talk about some things that the child is most interested in. Dad should refrain from "teaching" his children and let them "teach" themselves. In this way, the father can play with the child, listen to the child and let him really hear the child's voice. Dad didn't spend much time with his children, but he insisted. Dad insisted on doing this in order to constantly convey his love to the children, understand the children, and eliminate the misunderstanding and estrangement between father and son. The second suggestion is to convey listening interest from the aspects of eyes, expressions and postures. When listening to the child, the father should stare at the child with kind, encouraging and slightly anxious eyes. Dad also encourages children to speak with positive body movements and facial expressions. Dad's strong interest in listening is the premise that children are willing to communicate with dad. Mo Cong likes chatting with his father, who knows all his little secrets. One day, he quietly used his mother's lipstick. I painted my face as Astro Boy: a red nose and two red faces. His father told him about it as soon as he came back in the evening. Hearing this, dad almost laughed and hurt his stomach. Mo Cong is very close to his father. He thinks his father can understand his thoughts and respect him.