Everything is true, but is it useful? Basically useless.
After reading it, most parents stand in a row and spit a slot, and then the baby will be stimulated and his heart will grow bigger. And the reason is very good: so-and-so, his mother accompanied him all the time, and his child's grades were average, but later he was admitted to 985, and he was admitted to the graduate school-so he couldn't relax; So-and-so, what a good boy, because of the pressure of study, now he has depression and wants to drop out of school. Don't push him too hard.
There is no universal truth, especially family education. Cultivating children is a highly personalized job, which is finally completed through bit by bit interaction on the basis of fully understanding yourself and your children.
Know yourself.
I saw a news two days ago that a young mother was furious in the process of tutoring her children's homework, tore up her textbooks and exercise books, had a sudden cerebral infarction and was sent to the hospital. She died, and the second child was only over one year old. This is an ignorance of one's physical condition.
If we regard education as a career, the success of any career is based on health. It is true that some people can take classes by themselves during the day, accompany them to make up lessons at night, and learn a new martial arts for their children, which is also quite rewarding. But others can't. They have no energy to brush their mobile phones when they come back from work. If you still have to invest reluctantly, once you get sick and delay your work to make money, the children will be left unattended.
In addition, we should also consider our own personality characteristics.
Some people are determined and indomitable, showing clear goals, flexible methods and determination in family education; Those who have a casual life, are optimistic and open-minded, and are unwilling to do things may be more tolerant and will let go of their children ... What do you think is better? Not exactly. However, if you convince people who are strict in self-discipline to criticize lazy children less, it must be very difficult, because it is against nature. On the contrary, parents who were indifferent suddenly read an inspirational article and hurried back to take care of their children, most of them would fail.
Therefore, be clear about yourself and don't screw yourself up and toss others for the noise of the outside world.
Another point is also very important: economic conditions.
In the final analysis, education is an investment and costs money. When you buy a stock, you will consider it. If you lose money, it will affect your meal. No, it's the same. Increasing investment in education can make money, but don't put all your eggs in one basket and spend all your money.
This kind of harm has at least two aspects: first, it will increase the burden on children, and they feel that they will find a teacher without learning a name at home; At the same time, it reduces parents' tolerance for educational setbacks-because they can't afford to lose everything. In fact, let's think rationally. No matter what you do or how hard you try, you can't 100% control the result.
Just like treating one's own shortcomings, one must "recognize" one's current wealth level before trying to change it, instead of being unwilling like a dissatisfied wife and desperate like a gambler.
Get to know the children
We often encounter two situations in our life: a quiet mother repeatedly stops the lively and active child next to her, always feeling that he is not stable; A decisive father is dissatisfied with a shy child in speech and behavior. This is because the temperament types of two people are different, which makes it more difficult for parents and children to understand.
According to the nine dimensions of activity level, rhythm, avoidance, adaptability, reaction intensity, emotional essence, persistence, attention dispersion and reaction threshold, children's temperament types can be divided into four types: easy type, difficult type, slow type and mixed type. Different children are suitable for different parenting styles.
For example, a shrinking child may refuse to add a new complementary food or learn new knowledge. This kind of performance is not necessarily unwilling, but it takes him longer to accept it. It is better to wait at his pace than to force it. For another example, some children are particularly active and talk and do things quickly. It's not that they don't want to do their best seriously, so parents don't need to force him to slow down, just remind him to be safe and careful. When parents really understand that these characteristics of children are largely innate, it is easier to find his personal advantages on this basis.
At school, students with poor grades in the class always make more friends with deeper friendship and have good interpersonal skills; The top ten students in the same grade, some learn languages like playing, and some are in high spirits when they see math papers, which are different preferences of thinking; Others who don't attend interest classes are similar, such as buying a harmonica to play music by themselves and playing online games to the top of the whole server for free. ...
In the past, too much emphasis was placed on making up short boards. Now it is enough to make long boards in a diversified environment. Because "it takes much more effort to go from incompetence to mediocrity than from first-class to Excellence" (peter drucker, a management master).
If you know yourself and your children like this, you will understand that no matter what others say, the so-called accompanying growth is to discover and develop the advantages of your own original characteristics in your children, which must be relatively easy and effective.