When you make a confrontational gesture to defend love, you have actually lost.

I found something was wrong with Zhang Han when I brushed Weibo. Zhang Han doesn't play Weibo very much. Recently, he posted a photo on Weibo, in which he was cooking in the kitchen.

It is said that men who cook are the sexiest. I totally agree with Zhang Han. In the photo, Zhang Han, whose height is 1 m 86, shows strong muscles, and her figure is comparable to that of a male model on the runway. Two gas stoves in the kitchen are burning with flames. He took a sip of corn sparerib soup with a spoon, which tasted very salty. His concentration seems to be creating a great work of art.

I know this photo. Last Saturday afternoon, I asked Zhang Han what he was doing. He sent me this photo, saying that he was cooking dinner. I watched him smell delicious and fell in love with flowers for a long time.

Now he has put this photo in the Weibo.

Those who follow suit are all his friends-

"So coquettish?"

"What's the fuss about not cooking well?"

"The photo caused discomfort and has been reported!"

I turned over one comment after another and found a strange message.

A girl nicknamed "Little Deer Slowly" left a message saying, "Wow, the soup is delicious. How happy you are to be your girlfriend! "

Zhang Han has been liked by many girls since he went to college. At that time, we still used Renren.com, and girls often found his personal account and sent him private messages to express their love. I didn't expect a girl to catch up with Weibo now.

I met Zhang Han in college. He is my friend Xiao Lin's high school classmate. In the second semester of sophomore year, there is a basketball game in the school. Xiao Lin took me to cheer for Zhang Han. Looking at the handsome boys on the basketball court, my heart beats wildly. Maybe I fell in love with him from the first sight. Zhang Han is handsome, but also a little cynical. He knows that he is good-looking and that he is liked by girls. He always treats girls who like him with a mocking and joking attitude. But because of his frivolous attitude, girls like him better. A man is not bad, and a woman doesn't love him.

His girlfriend, a tall girl with fair skin, is the beauty queen of Finance College. They stand together. They are a perfect couple.

I like Zhang Han, but I know he won't like me. I don't want him to know what I like. I stood proudly and humbly in the corner, silently liking him.

Shortly after his junior year, Zhang Han broke up with his girlfriend. I asked Xiao Lin why he broke up, but Xiao Lin didn't know. "Who knows? He said nothing. " Although I didn't find out the reason, I had a hidden happiness in my heart.

The school held a mathematical modeling contest, and I asked him to team up with Zhang Han. Xiao Lin looked at me suspiciously. "Do you like him?"

I instinctively want to deny it, but I can't hold my face, and I am red first, which means I am not suppressed.

Kobayashi reprimanded me in a serious tone: "You and Zhang Han are not the same person. You two are impossible, don't think about it again! "

I retorted unconvinced: "How do you know if you don't try?"

Unable to stand my indecision, Xiao Lin had to call Zhang Han, and the three of us, plus the girl Xiao Lin secretly loved, teamed up to take part in the competition.

Although Zhang Han is frivolous to the girl who pursues him, he takes things seriously. He is very clever, and his math scores are excellent. It is said that he got 149 in the college entrance examination. Sometimes some of us get stuck, and Zhang Han can often put forward refreshing ideas from different angles. Our model was originally conceived by Xiao Lin and me. After many revisions, the backbone became Zhang Han, and the model began to follow his ideas.

As long as we didn't have classes, we got together to design models, and Zhang Han and I soon became familiar with each other. The better I know him, the more I like him. This is the closest I've been to Zhang Han. Even in the name of friends, we fought side by side, had differences and disputes, but compromised and worked together until we trusted each other.

I still feel happy with that wonderful memory until now.

There is no doubt that we won the first prize in the competition. It was past ten o'clock in the evening when I came back from the celebration dinner. Xiao Lin sent the girl back to the dormitory in the East Campus. My dormitory is in the west campus, and Zhang Han sent me back. He approached the dormitory and asked me, "Shen Jiaci, do you like me?"

I didn't expect Zhang Han to ask this question frankly and look at him awkwardly, as if he had been caught doing something bad. There are countless thoughts in my mind, whether I admit it or deny it, but I can see his sharp eyes and say nothing.

"Let's be together."

"Ah?" I looked at him in disbelief. "What did you say?"

"Shen Jiaci, let's be together." Zhang Wei said.

So I'm with Zhang Han.

Kobayashi was so angry that he scolded me: "Shen Jiaci, are you stuck in the door?" Zhang Han doesn't like you at all, don't you know? "

Of course I know Zhang Han doesn't like me. But I like him, very, very much, so much that I feel very happy at the thought of being with him who is frustrated, so much so that I don't care whether he likes me or not, as long as I like him.

Xiao Lin wanted to scold me after listening to my words, and finally held back. He said helplessly, "Zhang Han has never lacked the love of girls since he was a child. What he doesn't care about most is the sincerity of girls. You won't be happy with him. "

I didn't listen to Xiao Lin and fell in love with Zhang Han. I do my duty to be his girlfriend, help him buy food, help him with his homework, accompany him in self-study and participate in various activities; He took part in the basketball game, and I cheered on the sidelines; He was in a bad mood, so I chatted with him all night; He wants to go out to play, and I, skipping classes, accompany him to climb Mount Tai to watch the sunrise.

I tried my best to be nice to Zhang Han, dreaming that one day Zhang Han would be moved by me. When I graduated, he asked me to take a walk in the playground. He kissed me that night when Sophora japonica was fragrant.

2

This is the first time that Zhang Han kissed me.

I was so excited that I stayed up all night. I thought he finally fell in love with me. I don't have to worry that we broke up after graduation. Who knows, a few days later, I stumbled across his chat with Xiao Lin.

He said to Kobayashi, "I am in pain now and I don't know how to tell her." I tried to like her, but there was nothing I could do. If I don't like it, I don't like it. I can't pretend. "

When I saw the words "I don't like it, I don't like it", my heart felt stabbed several times. I want to cry at the thought that he pretended to kiss and kept me awake.

In the chat with Kobayashi, Zhang Han also talked about the reason why he stayed with me: it turned out that after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, a girl who played better with him confessed to him. He has no shortage of girls' likes, and most of the girls who come to his door are just for fun. He knows he is a scum, but love rat also has principles-he doesn't want to lay hands on his friends around him, especially the confidante. In order to miss the absolute girl, he chose me in a hurry.

I always thought that Zhang Han was with me because he was lovelorn, but I didn't expect that I overestimated myself. Where can he compare with his ex-girlfriend I can't even compare with a confidante.

People are always greedy.

When I'm not with Zhang Han, I want to be with him, even if he doesn't like me. When I was really with him, I began to be greedy. I want not only his people, but also his heart. I want him to like me, even a little.

But unexpectedly, what I like is his "dislike is dislike".

Kobayashi is right. Zhang Han is never short of girls' love. Even without me, there will be girls like me who like him stupidly and give up all their dignity.

I received an interview notice from a company in Beijing. When I submitted my resume, I delivered it in batches, and I didn't plan to go to Beijing. But after I knew Zhang Han's true attitude towards me, I changed my mind. I silently bought a plane ticket to Beijing and asked Zhang Han out for the last meal.

I have imagined the scene of meeting Zhang Han for the last time for countless times. I want to curse his callousness and ask him how he can do this to me. Is it my fault to like him? But when I really met him, I couldn't even say those accusations. We finished our meal as usual and I went to the railway station. I sent Zhang Han the news of breaking up, blacked out and deleted all his contact information. I want to quit his world quietly, which is my last dignity.

We met again at Kobayashi's wedding two years later.

After graduation, Kobayashi returned to City A and the wedding was held in his hometown. When I arrived in a city, I missed the last bus to their village at eleven o'clock in the evening and was worried about how to get there. I didn't expect Zhang Han to meet me at the station.

He has hardly changed in the past two years, and he is still very handsome. But I never saw him again. When I see him now, the first thing I think of is the humiliation brought by his sentence "I don't like it". Even after two years, I still can't let go of the past.

We exchanged a few polite greetings like strangers, and the car slowly left the city and headed for more and more remote places. At first we could see the lonely street lamp standing on the side of the road, but later we couldn't even see the street lamp. Both sides of the road became dark mountains, and it was dark everywhere. Driving on such a night, it's very quiet around, and you can even hear the heartbeat.

"Why did you leave quietly?" He suddenly asked me, "I don't even have time to buffer. After lunch that day, I received a text message that you broke up in the afternoon, and the phone couldn't get through. I want to ask your friends, but I found that I don't know any of your friends except Xiao Lin. I finally learned from Xiao Lin that you had gone to Beijing. Don't you like me? Why did you break up with me?

"I always don't understand. I want to ask when you will come back for the graduation ceremony. But you didn't come back at all, and even your diploma was taken away by your classmates. Do you want to avoid me so much, Shen Jiaci? "

"What is the reason for breaking up? I don't like it. If I have no feelings, I will break up. " I simply replied, "Zhang Han, you said you didn't like me. If you don't like me, you just don't. You can't force it. Me too. "

Zhang Han was silent for a while and said with a wry smile, "So you know my conversation with Xiao Lin."

I didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry."

"It's been so long, you don't have to apologize, I've put it down."

"I was too self-righteous before. There are so many girls who like it, I don't care whether you like it or not. On the contrary, I hate your liking. The more you like me, the more stressed I am and the more I want to escape. That I overlooked something. "

I smiled wryly: "Zhang Han, forget it. It' s already broken up, and it' s boring to say it again. "

"Shen Jiaci, if I say I like you, can you give me another chance?" He stopped the car suddenly and turned to look at me. We are surrounded by dark night, and the headlights cut through the darkness like a pair of scissors, cutting through the thick night around us. In the dim light, I saw a seriousness in his brown eyes that I had never seen before. "Shen Jiaci, I love you. Stay with me! "

I looked at him and felt funny. "Zhang Han, are you kidding?"

"I'm serious. Before breaking up, I fell in love with you before I realized it. At that time, your presence affected my mood more and more. I couldn't help kissing you on the playground that time. I hate this feeling of losing control. I don't want to be influenced by you, so I told Xiao Lin that I don't like you. I am deceiving myself by saying these words. I didn't expect you to see it. "

After attending Xiao Lin's wedding, I went back to Beijing. Zhang Han started chasing me to make up for his feeling of being two years late. I don't want to admit that even in the two years since I left him, even though I tried my best to treat him as an irrelevant stranger, I still loved him so much that I hated myself, but I couldn't help myself.

On New Year's Eve, he came to Beijing to celebrate the New Year with me. When the New Year came, Zhang Han and I were together again.

In the game of love, whoever moves his heart first loses. Just like my love with Zhang Han, even if he likes me later, I always have an unspeakable inferiority complex around him. He is good-looking, intelligent, excellent, capable and charming. After breaking up with him for two years, the girls who chased him never stopped. All this makes me feel inferior and gives birth to greater pressure.

Just like his unusual behavior of posting photos on Weibo today, and the girl named "Little Deer Slowly", I have a sense of crisis with conditioned reflex. By some strange coincidence, I opened the "Little Deer Slowly" Weibo.

I only saw a selfie she posted on Weibo, and my heart tightened.

The real name of "Little Deer Slow" is Deng Man, and she is Zhang Han's confidante.

three

After getting back together with Zhang Han, I can feel that he is really different from before. He learned to take care of my emotions and tried to love me. I felt his sincerity. I just didn't expect to kill a confidante at this time.

He confessed his relationship with Deng Man to me. They are fellow villagers. They once met on the train home. They sat next to each other, and Zhang Han helped Deng Man put the suitcase. In their conversation, I found that they studied in the same university and left contact information with each other after getting off the bus. When they returned to school, they actually bought tickets for the same car. Later, they gradually became familiar with each other and finally became good friends until Deng Man confessed to Zhang Han.

Look at Deng Man's messages in Weibo and Zhang Han. It seems that he is very close to Zhang Han. But Zhang Han never told me that he still kept in touch with Deng Man.

I can't help worrying that Deng Man is more important in Zhang Han's heart than me. After all, Zhang Han chose to stay with me to "protect" her. I'm afraid Deng Man still likes Zhang Han. If I am not with Zhang Han, she will come in.

I called Xiao Lin and asked him if he knew Deng Man. Xiao Lin and Zhang Han both work in a bank in a city. They are colleagues. Kobayashi said seriously, "Deng Man came to work in our bank last month and was in the same department as Zhang Han."

"But now is not the time for banks to recruit students. Can non-freshmen apply for a bank? " I asked doubtfully.

Kobayashi sneered, "Deng Man's father is the president, so it's okay to put his daughter in the bank. Dunman didn't come to the bank to make money. How can the salary of the bank be enough for her to spend? She came to work to kill time. I think she is interested in Zhang Han. "

"So they didn't contact before?" If Deng Man likes Zhang Han and they are in the same city, how can they reconnect now?

"After graduating from college, Deng Man and her ex-boyfriend went abroad. I just came back this year. "

"ex-boyfriend?" I was taken aback, "Deng Man is not like Zhang Han? What about the other ex-boyfriend? "

"Why can't she have an ex-boyfriend? If you meet the right person, try everywhere. Does Zhang Han not accept her, and she has to wait for Zhang Han for a lifetime? " Xiao Lin asked me, "What do you think she likes about Zhang Han? A woman like her is very clever. Zhang Han's family conditions are so good that he looks like a small white boy in captivity. Which woman doesn't like it? Such a man is also a hot commodity in a city. Even if he is married, women will keep pouncing on him, not to mention that he is not married. "

Kobayashi warned me: "Such a woman has no morality. The man they like will try their best to get it, whether he has a girlfriend or not! " Miss Zhang Han, she may not find a better man than Zhang Han. Those who are richer than him are not as good-looking as him, and those who are better-looking than him are not as rich as his family ... "Kobayashi hung up the phone meaningfully.

Zhang Hanjia is very rich, which I didn't know until I got back together with him. At that time, few people in universities would consider the hardware of family conditions, but when it comes to finding a partner, whether you have money at home and whether you can afford a house is a very important condition. Zhang Han's mother is an executive of a securities company, and her father is engaged in the furniture industry and runs a factory. It is said that their family has five houses in a city, three for rent, and the rent they receive every month is much more than that of most hard-working white-collar workers.

As Kobayashi said, Zhang Han's family situation alone is also the object of marriage among women, what's more, he has a face like a imprisoned gigolo. I feel an unprecedented crisis.

Zhang Han didn't like long-distance relationships and repeatedly asked me to leave Beijing and go to a city to reunite with him. I also want to go there as soon as possible. I have been working as a data analyst since graduation. I browse the recruitment information of related occupations in a city, and the recruitment information is always only one page, about seven or eight recruitment information. Looking at the descriptions of data analyst positions in these companies, we know that these jobs are unreliable. I'm afraid I can't find a job after I return to A city, so I've been hesitating until now.

Now the emergence of Deng Man is a huge crisis. I can't hesitate any longer. I must go back as soon as possible.

I immediately asked the boss to resign. The boss won't let me go. He earnestly called me to the office for several talks, gave me a raise and asked me to help him for another year. "The project of American M company has always been with you. You have to go. Who should I find to replace you? " This is our big customer! This list also has a commission, which can make a lot of money. You know, the company's regulations require customers to settle the payment before you can get the commission. When they make money at the end of the year, you can get the commission before you leave! Besides the year-end bonus, I'll give you another month's salary! "

To tell the truth, since I joined this company, my boss has been very kind to me, almost cultivating me. I know it's really unkind to leave at this juncture. But the thought of Deng Man eyeing up staring at Zhang Han, I was on pins and needles, to no avail, just refused the boss's kindness and insisted on going back to a city.

After returning to a city, Zhang Han wouldn't let me rent a house, so I lived in the house his parents bought for him. He works in the financial street of a city, which is one of the busiest streets in a city. Their family has a high-end apartment near here, and they can see the sea not far away. It turns out that the three of them live together. After I arrived in a city, Zhang Han moved out and moved to another house to live with me. In his spare time, he showed me around a city. Like newlyweds, we get bored with each other all day and sometimes kiss each other while cooking in the kitchen.

I always feel scared living in his house, even if it's just the two of us. I know their family is rich, but now their family is rich enough to scare me. The richer their family is, the humbler I am, and the more I can see the huge gap between us. This gap is a problem that we didn't find when we were in college or even in a long-distance relationship.

I hate this feeling. In order to get rid of this sense of powerlessness, I took the time to find a job. It is always those companies that recruit data analysts in a city. They never seem to recruit data analysts. I sent resumes to these companies and received interview notices from three companies.

When I went to the interview, I found that two companies were liar companies. They recruit for any position, that is, they cheat people to pay for training in their company. Another company's recruitment of so-called data analysts is actually to input the company's product information into Excel tables. I didn't expect that in a city with a GDP of hundreds of billions, few companies need data analysts, so what did its economy develop on?

"Real estate, finance, it is a tourist city." Zhang Han answered me slowly. He can't understand my anxiety about unemployment at all. He has a family to support. Even if his salary is not enough, he can comfort me indifferently, so that I don't have to worry about work, and he can support me.

"Or you can try to change careers?" He gave me advice.

"But I can't do anything except data analysis. Where can I change careers? Which company wants me? " I'm a little embarrassed.

"I have a friend who runs a studio. He does photography and makes all kinds of promotional films. Do you want to try? "

Photography? I'm a little tempted. When I was in college, I once joined a photography association and learned a little about photography. It would be a good choice if I change careers. I asked Zhang Han to hand in my resume.

The other party asked me for an interview soon, and Zhang Han greeted me. It's no problem to hire me. The interview mainly talked about my salary. I have no work experience, and the salary given by my boss Zhang Ge is not high. The probation period is only 2800, and the probation period is three months. After I become a full member, my salary is 3300. This salary can't compare with a fraction when I was in Beijing. But I know that I am a newcomer in this industry, and everything starts from scratch. I am not qualified to make a counter-offer, what's more, the other party hired me for Zhang Han's sake. I should have self-knowledge.

The work is finished. Although the money I earned is not enough to pay the rent of the house where Zhang Han lives now, it is also a new beginning. I can stand on my own feet, which makes me feel a little at ease.

Zhang Han took me to a party with his friends. I have met Deng Man several times. She is very kind and polite to me, and she is also very measured when playing with Zhang Han. She didn't want to take Zhang Han away, as Kobayashi said. What makes me more reassured is that Zhang Han really regards Deng Man as a buddy. He loves me. I can find the answer from the way he looks at me. I don't think I will lie. Slowly, I also put down my heart and lived a happy life with Zhang Han.

But after all, I was naive. When I am polite to you, I may not be behind you. Deng Man was gentle and polite to me in the tooling, but I fell into her palm before I knew it.

(Title: The Battle of Love, by Bai Yujing. From: read some stories every day and watch more exciting content)