"Making rules" should not be interpreted as "chicken out"
I am the only child born in 1980s. When I was a child, there was a saying in the media that we were called "Little Princess" and "Little Emperor", which meant that we grew up in a superior environment and were spoiled. Today, 20 years later, the former "Little Princess" and "Little Emperor" are married and have children. These generations, known as the post-zero generation, are a new world compared with our original growth environment, which can be described as superior and more spoiled. I have seen too many examples of children around me being spoiled to lawlessness. My husband and I reached an understanding of * * early in the morning. For children's education, we must not be too spoiled. We don't ask her to be smart or versatile. We only ask her to develop good living habits, be polite and know manners, and have the upbringing that a girl should have. When it's time to play, you can enjoy yourself, but on formal occasions, you should behave yourself, don't jump up and down, stand and sit, eat whatever you want, have a good rest, and sleep when it's time to sleep.
Children go to primary school, with more than 30 children in one class. After the cancellation of preschool classes in primary schools, most of these children just came out of kindergarten and knew nothing about primary school life. It should be said that a very important task in the first-grade education content is to make these children adapt to the learning life of primary schools as soon as possible. Be familiar with punctuality in class, the solemn flag-raising ceremony on Monday, practice during recess, correct sitting posture, raise your hand to speak, listen carefully, don't talk in class, etc ... Of course, we must set rules and learn rules to teach rambling and ignorant children in kindergarten into knowledgeable pupils. How can it be a square without rules?
However, there is no conflict between establishing rules and pursuing individuality. Children's imagination can be displayed in painting, calligraphy and other talents, and children's talents can be displayed in future activities such as writing, debate and scientific interest groups, instead of pursuing uniqueness when the school requires uniformity.
When her daughter entered school, the teacher also made a list of a series of items that needed to be prepared. The details of various requirements are listed in detail. On weekends, my husband and I drove and took our daughter around. Although it was tedious, we didn't feel tired and upset. The family talked and laughed and went shopping together. "I bought a horse in the east, a saddle in the west, a halter in the south and a whip in the north." My heart is filled with the joy of children going to school, but it is somewhat warm like the feeling described in Mulan's poems. The cover of the book bought back is carefully wrapped, the name is neatly written, and the pencil is neatly cut ... The seriousness of parents will also let our children realize the brand-new environment she is about to usher in from this carefully prepared process, which will be a very important beginning in her life, different from the ignorant life of preschool. All items are prepared according to the requirements, because we know that if the preparation does not meet the standards, the children's things are different from those of their classmates. First of all, the children feel that there is a gap. From the teacher's point of view, we may also think that we are parents, not doing our best, or even a perfunctory attitude, which is more harmful to children.
In a small case, the lid of the kettle in my daughter's schoolbag was not tightened after school, and a little water spilled into the schoolbag, wetting some books. Among them, English books and Chinese books are a little wet, so my husband specially asked me to buy brand-new books online. The daughter said that there is nothing to dry when it is wet. Not dirty, no need to buy a new one. My husband told her that although it is not dirty, because it is soaked in water, if the teacher sees that your book has become like this only two days after school starts, he will think that you have not cherished the book, and then he may think that you have no correct learning attitude. A student with a bad learning attitude will leave a bad impression on the teacher, and he is not a good student in the eyes of the teacher!
Coincidentally, we also had a similar experience about "dancing shoes". My daughter joined the school dance troupe, and the teacher chipped in to buy dancing clothes and shoes. Because our daughter started dancing in primary school, we already have several pairs of dancing shoes. The child's grandmother said, should we tell the teacher that we don't pay for dancing shoes? We have our own shoes. I thought about it, but I didn't call the teacher at last, because there are many kinds of dancing shoes, and some of them may not be the same as those required by the school. Although I usually wear dance clothes and shoes when practicing, since I am a school dance team, I should have many opportunities to perform, so I should ask if I dress naturally. Moreover, dance clothes and shoes are charged together, and how much shoes are not listed separately. A pair of shoes with tens of dollars pays different money.
"three points teach seven points" Vs "can't let children lose at the starting line"
I picked up my daughter from school two days ago and saw that the mother of a little boy in her class was stopped by the teacher for a long time. The reason is that her children didn't learn pinyin well and couldn't keep up with the learning progress of the class. The mother is also very upset, saying that she has been working hard to help her children with tutoring at home. The husband and wife study late every day, but the children still don't master it well. She is also very anxious. Finally, she asked me about it and asked my daughter how she was getting on with her pinyin study. I am very modest to say that the child's study is ok, and I am not too embarrassed to stimulate her too much. As a matter of fact, my daughter had completely mastered Pinyin before entering school, and she could skillfully spell unfamiliar words in Pinyin. After entering school, I also served as a representative of Chinese class, helping teachers check children's spelling, and the right teacher gave them a small red flower. Our daughter is very proud of this, and we parents are also very pleased.
In fact, I don't particularly agree with the sentence "Don't let children lose at the starting line". Children should have a stress-free and happy childhood. But the reality is that if you don't teach, other parents are teaching, your children don't learn, and others' children are learning, your children will fall behind. I have a friend, both husband and wife are journalists, who may be engaged in media work. She is more open-minded and sent her 6-year-old daughter to an international school at a high price. She completely adopts American education, gets internationally certified credits, does not take the national college entrance examination, and goes abroad to study in universities, so that children can study happily. At present, the education system in China is exam-oriented education, which is a fact that we cannot change in a short time. Since we can't change the system, we can either change ourselves to adapt to it or choose to escape it like my friends. I think this parent named Lin Nian lacks a clear understanding of China's education system. What she advocates is "teaching three points and teaching seven points", which is not suitable for the school environment. Her so-called six-year stubborn persistence actually delayed her children and made them lose at the starting line.
I remember when my daughter was four years old, I went to an education lecture. I was deeply impressed by the teacher's words at that time. This sentence probably means that we should work hard to cultivate children. Some parents are lazy and didn't pay when they should have worked hard. By the time they found out that there was something wrong with their children, it was too late and bad habits had been formed. At this time, if you want to correct them, you have to work twice as hard as before. Just like the parents of the child who didn't learn pinyin well mentioned above, they didn't work hard to lay a good foundation for their children before they entered school. After their children went to school, they suffered a great loss. Interested parents may wish to look through Chinese textbooks for primary school students. You will find that the courses in them have made rapid progress and started to teach you spelling, instead of teaching you to memorize initials and finals for half a semester, as some parents imagined, and then slowly let you learn spelling. My daughter has only been in school for a month, and today she got back the pinyin self-test sheet for the first grade this year. The teacher asked her parents to supervise the practice. In other words, less than a month after the start of school, they have learned all the pinyin in the textbook. Imagine, unless you are a child prodigy, how can you understand all pinyin in such a short time?
My daughter goes to kindergarten at the age of two and a half. One year before she entered school, I resolutely withdrew her from the kindergarten class and sent her to preschool. After nearly a year's study, she basically reached the level of the first grade of primary school before entering school, and gave her the mid-term and final questions of Chinese and mathematics in the first grade, which were basically completed well. After children enter school, there is no burden and pressure in their studies, and there are not many schoolwork in the school. She was very happy when she learned that. She also said that fortunately, the preschool class learned a lot in advance, and she didn't feel hard at all when she went to school. As for writing and arithmetic, we began to make her insist on one page of fine print or one page of math problems a day a long time ago. Because my husband has written an enviable hand in calligraphy since primary school, he naturally expects his children to be like him. Recalling the scene when he first learned calligraphy as a child, he often said that in fact, children can't write well at a young age, but the quality of writing is secondary. Just holding a brush to practice there has had a good influence on children. Isn't China's calligraphy an art that makes people calm down and cultivate their morality? Children's little hands can be used to make scissors and hold brushes. Why can't it be used to practice calligraphy?
Communicating with teachers is not "only obeying and not discussing"
The schoolwork arrangement of my daughter's school is that teachers send emails in public mailboxes, and parents log in and check them every day. I can often see some thank-you letters written by parents to teachers in the mailbox, which are eloquent and sincere. I also jokingly told my husband, look at this small print, do you want to write one? ! It is understandable for parents to express their gratitude to their teachers, but sometimes they might as well consider it from the teacher's point of view. As mentioned in Lin Yan's article, if everyone replies by SMS, the teacher will delete more than 40 SMS messages every day, and his hand will cramp. Is the teacher too pitiful? ! In fact, every parent has a teacher's mobile phone. If there is a real problem, they can call the teacher at any time. There is no obstacle to communication. Teachers' notices to children at ordinary times require clear instructions in grammar, and cannot be vague or ambiguous. Does the teacher need to use a consulting tone when assigning homework to children?
Praise is the best motivation for children to learn.
My daughter has received all kinds of preschool education since she was a child, from the earliest parent-child center to kindergarten and preschool, from learning dance, piano and foreign languages to painting, handicrafts and roller skating ... In short, all the activities she participated in have certain praise measures. If you behave well, the teacher will give you a small decal as a reward. As an adult, you will never understand that in our opinion, such a cheap gadget is an extremely precious gift in the eyes of children! Every time I receive a small gift from my teacher, my child will be extremely proud! This has further increased her interest and motivation to continue studying.
After the children enter school, the teacher takes one of their abacus books as a stamp record of their daily performance, and all performances such as class performance, queuing in class, and completing homework have corresponding chapters. If they do well, they can get a chapter. Because I always carefully supervise her homework and sign it according to the teacher's requirements, the teacher often stamps her with "good parents". Every time I get this chapter, my daughter will praise me in turn like an adult. Looking at the lovely expression on her face, I feel very happy, and I am also very happy to help her seal another chapter. I don't know what the exchange mentioned in Yao Lin's article means. According to my understanding, it should be small stickers for good performance, and how many small stickers are collected can be exchanged for better gifts such as erasers. If my understanding is correct, this is actually a very common incentive means. Not only teachers in primary schools and kindergartens, but all other teachers engaged in pre-school education-related industries are doing this. I don't understand what the problem is. Can't rewards be the driving force for our efforts to make progress? But don't we all live by various rewards? Hard-working children will be rated as three good students by the school; Adults work hard and the unit will give performance bonuses; Athletes strive for Olympic medals, and the state also has financial rewards; Don't all kinds of outstanding people who have made selfless contributions to the cause of * * * also have honorary titles such as "March 8th Red Flag Bearer", "May 4th Medal", "Top Ten Outstanding Youth" and "Excellent party member"? The sharp opposition between Lin Yan's so-called teacher education method and "modern education view" simply does not exist.
Since my daughter just entered primary school, I have been paying attention to some information about Xiaoshengchu on the Internet. There are probably several situations in which it is actually helpful for children to go to school: first, three good students. Second, I won honor for the school. For example, if you are a member of the school dance team or choir, and your performance won an award in a district or city competition, then this honor carries weight and is more useful than your piano certificate of Grade 9. 3. Various valid certificates with high gold content: Olympic Games Certificate, Huajin Cup Competition Certificate, Hope Cup Mathematics, Spring Thunder Cup Composition, Cambridge English, Trinity Oral English, etc. After understanding these situations, we will train the child in a targeted manner according to her specific situation. For example, if your daughter is not very sensitive to mathematics, don't force her child to learn Olympic mathematics, read more stories to her and try to see if she can develop in writing; For example, the admission conditions for literary and art students are extremely harsh, and the Grade 9 piano certificate is of little use. Although my daughter still insists on learning the piano and successfully passed Grade 2, she does not regard it as a hard indicator to cultivate her, but only as an extracurricular activity to cultivate her temperament and increase her talent. For example, there are too many English trainings in society, such as Disney English, ABC, Reith, New Oriental Bubble and so on. Take part in those messy classes, it is better to sign up for Trinity Oral Class or Cambridge English. If you study well, it will be useful to get a certificate. Generally, English can be improved indirectly, which is helpful for learning.
I'm not sure how Lin Yao, as a parent, raised a child with personality in six years, and I don't think my daughter is what she calls an "assembly line product". My daughter's paintings are equally imaginative and origami is also very good. Since she was very young, I have insisted on reading stories to her every night, including literature, science, nature and history. I have always attached great importance to cultivating her independent thinking ability. She is also lively and active, but I ask her to be polite and natural and graceful on formal occasions. Doing what the teacher asks at school and observing the discipline and rules of the school do not prevent her from growing into a person with her own independent personality.
I also spent six years trying to make my children grow up happily and learn a lot.