Dr. Wu Jun said, whether in China or the United States, we all see that middle-class children have the hardest time.
Behind this is the middle-class parents' desire for their children's class to jump: if you are at the bottom of society and want to rise to the middle class, you only need to learn skills education. If it is intermediate, you need to master skills education, liberal arts education and general education in an all-round way.
The ascending channel is doomed to be difficult, and the descending channel is always open for you.
Many parents attach great importance to their children's education, and they are not afraid of any hardships. Children will do anything as long as they can get into a good school, a famous university in Tsinghua Peking University, spend a lot of money to buy a school district, cross the city to several excellent classes every week, and "risk their lives" to accompany them!
However, the heavier the pressure on parents and children, the result is often far from the imagined situation.
Many parents complained helplessly and painfully: "Why do I spend so much money and time on children's education and still can't get the results I want?" Didn't you say that there is always a reward for giving? "
Some people will say, "It is unfair to use school districts to screen students. In the end, only rich people can afford the school district and get a good school! " I can't extricate myself from the whirlpool of anxiety and complaint!
Dr. Wu Jun said something that impressed me very much. He said:
If a person believes in absolute fairness at the age of 20, it shows that he is a sentimental person; However, if a person still believes in absolute fairness at the age of 40, it is a bit silly. It is impossible for the world to be absolutely fair, because once absolute fairness appears, the world will stop making progress. Only when there are fairness, unfairness, diversity and variables can this society move forward. The same is true of education.
This article points out that:
Educational resources are limited, it is impossible for everyone to get the best resources, and there is no absolute fairness.
Know clearly where you are, be eager to reach the sky in one step, and hurt yourself by mistake.
The process of going up is doomed to be hard, and the door to going down is always open.
People are born with different genes, intelligence and abilities. Don't use your child's shortcomings to spell out the advantages of others.
There is no absolute fairness in the world.
In China, you may get the best education by entering Tsinghua Peking University.
First, let's look at a data of enrollment in Tsinghua University this year: the number of students enrolled is 3,500. Except for self-enrollment, 55% of students are admitted according to the test scores, and the enrollment is about 1925, while the number of candidates registered nationwide is 9.4 million, one in 50,000.
The college entrance examination in China is a fair thing, but many people think it is absolutely fair. Is it possible?
Although the overall education level in China is constantly rising, the educational resources will always be a pyramid, and the top ones will always be difficult to enter. This does not mean that with the development of society, my children can enter the best schools and receive the best education.
In the United States, the annual admission rates of Stanford and Harvard have hit record lows in the last three or four years, which means that it is increasingly difficult for everyone to squeeze into this "best education".
Not only higher education, but also kindergartens.
For example, there is a kindergarten on the MIT campus, which may only accommodate 50 children, but the children of MIT professors still can't get in. Why not set up a kindergarten for 1000 children? The reason is simple: quality education resources are limited.
In Google's kindergarten, 90% employees' children can't get in. Who can get in? Does not mean that employees who have made great contributions to the company will definitely be able to enter.
In such a limited position, some children can get in and some children can't. Do you think it's fair? It's not fair. But this is the reality.
Quality education resources are so limited that it is impossible to be absolutely fair.
The desire to skip classes
Lead to high expectations for children.
Absolutely fair, I understand. Then I will try my best to draw the best resources for my children. I want to send my children to the best primary and secondary schools in China. I want to go to Tsinghua Peking University and attend an Ivy League school. "
Faced with such a problem, I think we should first clarify two things-
Number one: Know where you are now.
Second: be clear about where you are going.
Dr. Wu Jun once received a message from a reader: "I came from a small place and was admitted to a university in Beijing, but when I graduated, I couldn't find a job at all, and the whole person felt bad. Some people fight for value, others fight for their father. Why is this society so unfair? "
In fact, he is not the only one who has such an idea. Dr. Wu Jun answered this question:
First, it is a very successful step for you to enter the university from the county seat. In a sense, you should be satisfied with yourself and not be too hard on yourself. Second, you have your own resources. You study hard, study hard, and are willing to suffer. This is your resource. But being beautiful is also a resource, and dad's ability is also a resource. There are all kinds of resources in the world. Third, don't just see your own efforts. Some rich second generation may work harder than you. From the social stratum, if we divide the social stratum into 100 layers, it is beneficial for you to rise from the eightieth layer to the sixtieth layer. It may take generations to get to the fifth floor. Don't expect to rise to the fifth floor. The human resources of the fifth floor are much more than you don't know. He may only try 20%, which is more than you 100% can do. That is the reality.
Therefore, everyone should have an objective expectation of education and themselves, which is better.
To a large extent, it is not the exam results that ultimately determine your ultimate success. If you expect to say that society must give me something in the future just because I did well in the exam, it may be wrong.
Education can really change your destiny, but don't expect everyone to be Stephenson (the father of the train). From bottom to top, you can clearly know your position and goal. Education is a way.
Different classes
Need different levels of education
Because of different foundations and goals, the education to be carried out is also different. According to the actual situation of each family and each child, the education needed is also different.
If you are at the bottom of society, the most important thing to rise to the middle class is learning skills education. For people at this level, liberal arts education is useless.
This is why graduates from Lan Xiang Technical School earn more than many white-collar workers-because they have mastered the basic skills.
So first of all, you need to know where you are: if you are in such a social class, the first step you have to accept is skills education, which requires you to have skills to settle down, and then talk about general education and liberal arts education.
In the second edition of The Road to University, Dr. Wu specially added a chapter on American public education, mainly skills education. In the United States, the education of private famous schools is to prepare for higher education, but public education is generally skill education.
Why do middle-class children
The hardest
Many middle-class people complain that my children are so hard. They usually have classes, make up classes, and study art and sports.
But, you know, what is your goal? Enter the elite. Then I'm sorry. You just have to work hard.
First of all, skills education is indispensable, otherwise children will have no place to stand in the future.
Secondly, all the skills that you think the upper class should have need to be supplemented for children, and children have to work hard.
In the United States, too, children from middle-class families work harder than those from China.
For example, if a child enters the school's discipline team, the training time is 20 hours a week, and there are volunteers for eight hours a week. At the same time, there are many courses in this subject.
It's okay to think that children don't suffer. It's hard to go up in class, but it's easy to go down.
It is not impossible for parents to choose, but I am afraid that few parents will make such an "easy" choice.
Every child is different,
Try to get to the right place
Every child's genes and specialties are different. Learn olympiad, all people learn olympiad? Learn robots when robots are popular? When scientists are one in a million, it doesn't make much sense for so many children to engage in Olympic mathematics and robots.
To tell the truth, Olympiad Mathematics may be suitable for those children with high mathematical talent and IQ in the top 5% or 10%.
But the problem is that most parents in China don't want to admit that their children's IQ is inferior to others, so the all-people-run Olympic Games is a waste of time.
Some children just don't have to work hard to learn Olympic Mathematics, some children have high artistic talent but invalid subjects, and some children may be strong in sports. If we insist on letting a child who is not interested in mathematics and has no talent learn Olympic Mathematics, and let a child who is good at subject study but has no music practice the piano hard every day, then our gains will naturally be half the effort.
What we should do is to observe, find out the advantages of children and give them support, instead of learning what others have learned, let alone looking at the advantages of other children to make up for the shortcomings of our own children and trying to make up for them!
Therefore, if people can correctly understand education and have an objective expectation for themselves and their children, the possibility of success will be much greater and the anxiety about education will be much reduced.
I think if there is a starting line, the first starting line for children is not the intelligence of children, but the pattern of parents.
Why is the basic education in the United States relatively "poor"
But it supports the best higher education in the world.
The basic education in the United States is still different from the way we like, mainly to cultivate children's ability to solve problems, think independently, think critically and learn independently. Many times, it is not advocated to have a standard answer.
In mathematics, the average score of the United States may be lower than that of China, but it is the top 5% students who study the basic knowledge deeply, and they also receive basic education with critical thinking as the core. This direction of basic education determines that he can cultivate talents who can ask questions, solve problems and have creative ability.
However, students and scholars in China often don't ask questions and have no innovative ability.
Many university professors have strong problem-solving ability, but if you ask him to ask a question and start a subject from now on, this ability still needs to be improved.
This is also a very realistic problem we are facing.
Write it at the end
After talking with Dr. Wu Jun, I feel much more transparent but a little heavy. Perhaps these are the two characteristics of education: it gives people hope, but at the same time it will be a bit difficult.
Every parent wants to give their children the best, especially education.
But many times, what we need is not to look for answers outside, but to know ourselves and our children inside; Not eager to know how to do it, but want to understand why?
If people can correctly understand education and have an objective expectation for themselves and their children, the possibility of success will be much greater and their anxiety about education will be much reduced.
Source: Ivy League Dad
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