As for mathematics learning, as you said, there is a turning point of enlightenment or epiphany. Before that, we need to persevere in enlightenment, which is the surprise that the sun suddenly jumps out of the East China Sea.

Judging from your description, your Chinese and English may be good, and the learning methods of science such as mathematics should be different from those of liberal arts. Experience and methods vary from person to person, and what you experience is the prescription. You will win math through persistence and hard work. I see the dawn from your learning attitude and perseverance.