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Source: Zhihu.

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First, learn to appreciate children.

"I have a great talent in language and culture." "If I touch the numbers, I will die. I have no idea about numbers. " Judging from these words, I think adults think too much of children. Mom and dad may say that children's language and literacy are very talented, and I already appreciate children! I'm sorry, I don't think this is a real compliment. What you appreciate is only the side you like, not the true and comprehensive appearance of the child.

A child is like a quietly growing plant, with its own development track. What we can do is to give it soil suitable for growth. With this soil, it will naturally grow according to its own rhythm, way and posture. The power given by nature is infinite, and the little life is trying to grow on its own. What is more worthy of appreciation than this? I believe that each of us loves this little plant, but true love is acceptance, not our own needs. We should love real children, not what we want them to look like. Otherwise, our love is illusory, conditional and even selfish, although many times we are too selfish to know it. As the author of "The Secret of Boys' Growth" said, development itself is the master of development (I want to recommend this book to parents, especially the parents of boys, it is very good). In other words, it is development itself that determines children's development. Our parents can fulfill the responsibility of parenting, but they can't decide or change the trajectory of their children's growth.

The second suggestion, I hope that from now on, the parents and friends of this child will put down the judgment that "the child is not good at math" and let go of nervousness and even despair. For a four-and-a-half-year-old child, I don't think this matter can rise to the issue of separating arts and sciences. I also hope that friends who answer questions will not take this matter too seriously. At this age, many aspects can still be inspired and cultivated. Parents are also requested to stop sending the message that "children are not good at math" to relatives and friends in front of and behind their children. Please take off the label "bad math" attached to their heads.

Here, I have one more thing. I think this child should have basic math skills, but mom and dad didn't find it and the child didn't want to show it. And perhaps language and literacy are easier to see the effect, so parents attach importance to it and keep strengthening it. The way to strengthen it may be praise or telling friends and relatives, so that children are more willing to learn languages and read. Note that children's aversion to mathematics is also strengthening. Therefore, even if children have math ability, they don't want to show it (mom and dad say I'm poor at math, but I trust mom and dad, so I don't want to calculate, I dare not, because I can't do it well. )

Third, from now on, don't give children so-called math tasks. Instead, invite children to enjoy life together and then observe them carefully.

Mathematics is not only related to numbers, but also to all aspects of life. Go shopping in the supermarket with my parents. When parents choose different sizes, categories and quantities of goods, when they pay the bill, when they go home to sort the goods, when they cook and cook in proportion, when they arrange chopsticks and chairs before meals ... any link is related to mathematics. Invite children to participate (pay attention to your wording, it is to invite participation, not to assign math tasks! ), it doesn't matter if the child doesn't want to. With him, he will observe and learn by himself.

If parents have given their children too many opportunities to judge their sensitivity and timidity before, then give them a chance to play by themselves, or play with their peers without adults. Mathematics also exists in all aspects of children's games. The life experience I mentioned in the last paragraph can also exist in children's role-playing games. Encourage children to play different roles in life, and they will naturally encounter math problems in life. Remember, the most important thing is that they have to solve it themselves (because this is their own game, not the requirements of adults). Parents only need to provide toys and venues for their children, without intervention. Stacked and spliced toys are also good tools for cognitive games. For example, to build a Lego toy, children need to know the concepts of number, order, size, direction and category. In this process, children think for themselves and solve problems by themselves. At first, children may be surprised from specific parts to finished products. Slowly, children will think globally (abstract thinking) first.

Let's talk so much first, I hope I can give you some practical suggestions, but it still depends on the more specific situation of the child. You can communicate again when you encounter problems, but you prefer to hear your parents' direct thoughts and voices.