First of all, don't die, live well. Living is more important than anything else. How old are you? How can you have the idea of suicide? Think more about the people around you. You should be the only child. Think about how hard it will be for your parents to die. So stop thinking about suicide, whether for yourself or for those who really care about you. When you die, there is really nothing left.

Then, it is necessary for you to think about what dota really means to you. It's really easy to get addicted to games at your age, but what does dota really bring you? What else is there in the virtual world besides the pleasure and sense of accomplishment that you can't get in the real world? Will people around you admire you for playing dota well? Unless you can really become a strong professional player and make a living from it, you are still too young and have too many roads to go in the future, so you should not make such a hasty decision so early. So you can play dota, but you must learn to be temperate, and you can't take dota as your life. Yes, education in China is shit, but since you can't change it, you can only accept it, even if you don't want to, and you are only a freshman. If you don't go to school, there is really no way out in the future.

Third, you are now in adolescence, and your rebellious attitude is very serious, but you have to understand that your parents are really good for you, and you will really understand this truth in the future. So you need to have a serious talk with your father, talk calmly and openly, tell him what you think, tell him that you really want to play dota, and tell him that you even tried to commit suicide just now, and he will definitely be scared, so you have to reach an agreement at this time, because your studies are not very heavy now, so you can ask him to allow you to play dota in the future, but you must also promise and do well, and don't indulge in dota all day. There are many better things in life than online games. You should be good at finding them. Just like the friendship of friends, you can play ball with friends or something.

Finally, I tell you that learning is not the only way out, but without learning, there will never be a way out. If you are really addicted to dota all day, you will be a professional player in the future. But if you are willing to learn and study yourself, you can do better. For example, some game companies have special testers, but they can't just play games, like some settings in the game, they are absolutely inseparable.

Well, I have said so much, and I don't know if I have made it clear. I still hope it will help you.