Look at the problem itself first.
At the parent-teacher meeting, as a teacher, I talked about three common-sense questions, and even "some parents are disgusted." So, what do parents dislike? Do you disagree with these three questions or don't like the way you ask them? Or because of the teacher's arrogance?
Let's start with these three questions. The first and second questions are common sense, and the teacher is right; But the third question is debatable. What kind of homework does the child have? It is not the homework assigned by the teacher that must be beneficial to the children. Whether it is Chinese homework or math homework, too many topics are not only useless to children, but harmful. Then, if parents cooperate with the problematic or even harmful homework assigned by the teacher, isn't that collusion between home and school to kill the children?
For example, not long ago, a video of parents accompanying homework was widely circulated, and the title was the image of four disciples of Tang priest in Journey to the West. How many people are there in the photo? The child answered "two" on the grounds that Zhu Bajie and the Monkey King were animals, not people, and then the parents who helped with their homework were very mad. There is something wrong with this homework topic at all. It is not only rude, but also dereliction of duty for a teacher to give his students imprecise homework and then ask their parents for guidance.
Letting parents help children with their homework is essentially the abuse of inappropriate power by teachers. Because China's education system and artificial schools are hierarchical, the more so-called prestigious schools, the more inappropriate the system empowerment for teachers. Teachers only need to say to their parents, "I can't teach your children, please transfer to another school", and parents will be obedient to Nuo Nuo and passive to Nuo Nuo. Therefore, asking parents to cooperate with their children to finish their homework seriously reflects that teachers take it for granted and disapprove of parents' abnormal and inappropriate abuse of power.
Secondly, at the parent-teacher meeting, the teacher told the parents in a tone of "don't think", which was too arrogant and really rude. Teachers are only a professional profession, and any parent's profession should respect each other. Teachers should not feel superior just because they have inappropriate power given by the system, and feel that they can tell their parents what to do. There are more than 50 students and nearly 100 parents in one class. There must be some parents who are better than most school teachers in intelligence and understanding of education. How can a primary and secondary school teacher, He Dehe, be qualified to say "Don't think" to parents?
Yes, educating a child well depends not only on school education, but also on family education. However, when it comes to academic research, the duty of school education is to do our part. School teachers are professional because they need to pass the national vocational qualification examination and receive normal higher education. School teachers are more professional in this field and should be competent for academic teaching. On the contrary, my hometown has not received any teacher training, no professional threshold, and the level of knowledge is mixed. After systematic teacher training and national certification, school teachers shirk part of their academic tasks to their inexperienced and unqualified hometown, which is a teacher's dereliction of duty from any angle!
Therefore, I will be puzzled by a teacher asking such a question. As a college teacher who teaches normal students, I warn every student that being a teacher in an institutional environment is not in line with the laws of pedagogy and psychology, and the necessity of being a teacher is understandable. However, being a teacher must distinguish right from wrong. Some things are wrong, not because you have to do it.
Use * * * to encourage.
The teacher told three questions at the parent-teacher meeting, which were very targeted and poked the weakness of some parents.
1. Parents have the responsibility to educate their children. Parents are their children's first teachers, and their words and deeds at home have a subtle influence on their children. Parents' role models are important. If you behave well at home, your children will learn from you. If parents like reading, children will follow their parents when they are very young, and they will also study exemplary, although they can't see anything. Children especially learn from their parents. Parents speak politely, and children speak politely. Parents sometimes don't pay attention to swearing, and children follow suit. When children go to school, some parents feel that everything is fine and they can relax. It is actually irresponsible to push their children's education to the school. Schools can only manage the situation at school, and parents need to manage after-school education. How can children learn well without supervision if parents let themselves go? Sometimes children make mistakes at school and need parents' cooperation to solve them. How can parents give up anyway?
2. Children's habits are related to their parents. As the saying goes, "the dragon gives birth to the dragon, the phoenix gives birth to the phoenix, and the mouse can make holes when it gives birth to the mouse", which is true. Parents have the habit of loving learning. After school, children will sit at home and do their homework silently. Parents love reading, and children will take out extracurricular books and read them carefully. If parents like drinking and playing, then their children must not like studying, but also like playing. Then his children, after school, don't do their homework, just play, and their parents can't find their way home, so they go home to eat and continue to play. Even if parents force their children to do homework at home, they are absent-minded. While doing their homework casually, they thought about playing with their friends. Where can they take their studies to heart?
3. Help children finish their homework. Children with good study habits do their homework as soon as they get home from school. They finish their homework first, take a rest when they are tired, and then read extra-curricular books, which really worries parents. But some children, with bad study habits and poor academic performance, often can't finish their homework. Some parents also ask, some parents simply don't care whether their children do their homework or not. The teacher called the parents of the children, and the parents were unwilling to communicate with the teacher about their children's learning, and even dared not answer the phone. It seems that children's learning is the teacher's business, not the parents'. Such irresponsible parents, how can their children's academic performance be good?
The teacher told three questions at the parent-teacher meeting, and some parents were unwilling to do it, so they were disgusted.
Yeah, I hate it too. .
1. As a teacher, you don't mention your responsibilities, only your parents'. What do you mean?
As adults, parents are equal to you. You seem to be above me, teaching your parents a lesson?
Self-positioning is not clear, lack of ability, these three points have been shown. . .
I have told my daughter that teachers only test teachers when they are poor in exams. Those who get good grades like mom and dad are admitted to better schools and study better than teachers. . So what the teacher said is not necessarily right, we should have our own ability to distinguish.
But when the teacher educates you, you should thank and respect the teacher.
But I also hope that teachers should know how to respect students and parents. . .
There are fewer and fewer good teachers now.
Supplement: First of all, I wrote this post more than half a year ago. Recently, more people suddenly read it. There are many thirteen points in the reply.
No matter what my point of view is, I hope you can understand that my answer to the question has certain conditions.
When I reply to a post, I can't write all the content. There are 100 kinds of teachers in the world, so I must write how to treat them differently in my post, or I will be accused of being "partial".
Reply to a post, cover everything is sick. Just say one point, simple and clear. But normal people know that it is necessary to analyze the specific situation. The world is complex, not simple.
I think some people are ugly when they look at other people's things. If you don't find any problems in other people's posts, it's as if you are worthless. In my opinion, these people are full.
I am an old teacher and a parent. However, I am a teacher, and I won't talk to my parents like you. As a parent, I will feel bad to hear your words!
Let's review the three questions you raised at the parent-teacher conference: in each of your three sentences, you emphasized the importance of family education. No problem. However, parents are disgusted. Why? I tried to interpret it from my parents' point of view:
First, overemphasize the importance of family education!
People should receive three kinds of education during their life growth: family education, school education and social education. Family education is the most basic education in life, which is always accompanied by children's growth. Family education is really important, especially at the beginning of a child's life.
However, when children enter the school gate, school education and family education form a joint force. If children meet a good teacher or a group of good teachers, the influence of school education exceeds that of family education.
Your three questions overemphasize the importance of family education. It seems to tell parents that you are very concerned about their children's academic performance. It's related to school education, but I'm not the main responsible person!
From your three questions, I feel that you are shirking your responsibility as a teacher. So, I feel uncomfortable and a little disgusted!
Second, your attitude makes parents disgusted!
Some of your words in three questions are inappropriate: "Don't think about it"
"All" and "need" ... these words reveal your arrogance and prejudice, and convey your dissatisfaction and harshness towards some parents.
Although, at the parent-teacher conference, you stand on the three-foot platform and your parents sit below, your personalities are equal. You stand and talk, and parents sit and listen. The purpose is the same: * * * the education plan for business children. You are very professional in educating children, and parents may not be worse than you. Even some parents have great ideas and good methods to teach their children! Teachers are not necessarily better than parents, and parents are not necessarily better than teachers.
It's not that your parents don't accept your point of view, but that you can't stand your condescending and domineering attitude!
Parent-teacher conference is a platform for home-school communication. How teachers speak, how to make parents accept your point of view, and walk hand in hand with you to form a joint force to promote the healthy growth of children, which is an art of speaking.
China old saying: "A good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." "there are three words, extremely smart" ... here bread contains a kind of speaking skills, revealing an emotional intelligence!
Perhaps, this teacher is a young teacher. I hope parents will be more tolerant and understanding, and give young teachers a room for growth and a process of experience.
Dear colleagues, if you want to speak at the parent-teacher conference, what do you think will make parents feel comfortable and willing to accept the same three questions?
Parents, have you ever met a teacher who talks like this at a parent-teacher meeting? Say it, everyone * * *!
I am a primary school teacher, and I said something similar at the class meeting.
After the mid-term exam, our school just invited educational experts to train parents in family education, and finally brought them together. We took the opportunity to hold a parent-teacher meeting and summed up the results of the mid-term exam.
At the class meeting, I asked my parents and friends, if you think your child has mental problems, please raise your hand, that is, if he has mental disorders, please raise your hand. (The parents of the really mentally retarded child in my class didn't attend) None of the parents raised their hands!
I asked parents again, parents who think their children are prodigies, please raise your hand! Parents talked about it, but no one raised their hands.
In other words, everyone's intelligence is similar. There are neither smart children nor mentally retarded children. From the first grade last year to the present, children's grades have been divided into three or six grades. Do you know why?
I made the following analysis for my parents.
The first key is that children are the main body of learning. In the transition from kindergarten to primary school, the first grade is very important, and it is the best time to develop good habits.
What good study habits should a student develop?
Listen carefully in class at school and actively answer the questions raised by the teacher. If you have doubts about new knowledge points, you must be brave enough to tell your confusion to teachers and parents, and you must make the new knowledge points clear and clear every day, so that you will not fall behind when you learn new knowledge the next day.
Take Chinese as an example. When learning a text every day, the first category is about eight words, and the second category is about 15 words. Every day, you will learn many new words. If students can't learn and remember today, new words will appear tomorrow. Over time, students will have a hard time studying.
I am a math teacher. Take mathematics as an example. In the first grade, some students are not good at addition and subtraction within 20, and it is difficult to learn those within 100. Now the calculation speed within 1000 is too slow, and there are still many errors.
Students should actively finish the homework left by teachers at school or at home. However, some children simply finish their homework, and parents also say that their children have no homework. Your child has never finished his homework since he was a child, and he still lies and deceives people. Don't you think what you did was very unsuccessful?
Parents can compare what their children say with what their teachers say, and you will know the reasons for their children's low grades.
Those children who don't listen carefully in class, don't concentrate, and often don't finish their homework will definitely fail in their grades. Even if they start, you will fall behind.
The second key is parents. Although children are the main body of learning, the good quality of study and life has not been fully established because of their young age. At this time, parents need help. Let's talk about learning first.
Parents should not think that sending their children to school will leave the education to the teacher and parents will give up. This is a very wrong idea. You know, children's school time is very short every day, only 6 hours, and excluding the time of recess activities, children's school study time every day is 280 minutes, which also includes the time of music, sports, beauty and extracurricular interest groups. The limited study time makes some children unable to learn at all.
Therefore, parents should not think that children's education is a school matter. If you think so, you are all wet.
Although children's intelligence is similar, intelligence includes many aspects, including memory, observation, imagination, thinking and judgment. This ability includes the following points: the ability to understand, judge, solve problems, think abstractly, express ideas, language and learn. It is a comprehensive ability.
For example, some children draw very well, some children are very talented in music, some children are very talented in dancing, and some children are very good at sports. But we are culture teachers and can't see you. We need you to learn culture. But they are hard to learn.
If you only rely on the little time of school, I can tell you for sure that 80% of children can learn it, and about 20% of children can't teach it only by schools and teachers. Parents must go home and make necessary supplements to school education.
Parents of children's homework must cooperate carefully to complete it. In the process of tutoring children to write homework, parents will find their children's weaknesses, and they must give guidance where they have not learned.
Some children in my class are incompetent. I watched them practice in every class at school, but the school time was limited. Now I face all the students. It is impossible to teach only a few students and then trust their parents privately, so that they can go home and practice calculating problems every day. At the beginning, everyone insisted on it very well and saw the effect. Later, some parents gave up because of trouble. The very low score in this mid-term exam is their poor computing ability. Most of the problems in grade two are solved by calculation, and their final papers have not been completed yet. Low scores are predictable. My parents are a little annoyed at this time, but I have informed them.
If you don't help your children, there is nothing anyone can do. Children from other families learn from their teachers. Your children can't learn, and you won't help. When you see bad grades, you are anxious. I have no sympathy for such parents.
Some children's behavior habits reflect the problems of children's family education. Children are a mirror of parents, which can reflect their educational problems. A little girl in the class litters books in her schoolbag every day. Once I visited her home and saw her messy living room, I understood everything.
Some parents don't care about the quality of life, but only look at the quality of study. Actually, this is not right. A child who is careless in life cannot be careful in his studies.
Therefore, children's behavior habits are related to parents' education. Look at those children who are polite, and their parents have quality when they come. Those children are rude and savage. When his parents come, you will find that he behaves just like his parents.
I think it is no problem and right to sum up the three points mentioned by the subject.
But why are the right things opposed by some people?
I'll try to analyze it and see if it's like I said:
When you are dealing with students, your teaching and management can be "accepted", not necessarily because you are right, but because you are a teacher. Most students, especially primary school students, have a strong fear of teachers. They are often not because they recognize your views and requirements, but because you are a teacher.
In fact, most teachers' "self-esteem" will be particularly strong, which is inseparable from the characteristics of this profession.
But when you are dealing with parents, your "teacher atmosphere" is likely to have no effect on some parents-your "truth", "opinions" and "requirements" will definitely be analyzed and thought by some parents.
At this time, your attitude is still like facing a student, or you think that you have paid attention to the wording, but in fact there will still be "professional habits" mixed in, so it is normal to cause some parents to disagree or even dislike-you are the teacher of your child, but many parents don't think you are the teacher of your parents. That's true!
Third, you also said the word "cooperation", but do you know what is the premise of cooperation? I think it is mutual recognition and trust! Only when you and your parents have the same goal can you establish a "cooperative" relationship and the possibility of "cooperation" appear. Otherwise, for many parents, if you ask for "cooperation", it will become that you are shirking responsibility and you are assigning "parental homework". ...
In fact, the same three points, if said by another person or in different ways, may be accepted and recognized by all parents. Can you believe it?
I have a deep understanding of this. Why do many people know that this person is a teacher when they open their mouths? Because their professional habit (treating everyone as a student) is too obvious. ...
Therefore, if we can exchange ideas in a different way, for example, we can invite parents of outstanding students and well-known education experts to talk about the same content, and the effect will be much better.
Maybe you use PPT for communication problems, and these three items are written directly on it. I really don't advise teachers to talk to their parents like "reporting".
If you present these "truths" to parents in this way, parents will have various ideas when they see this page of PPT, and it is very likely that they will really make "rebuttal" thoughts in their minds when they listen to you next. In this case, it is difficult for you to accept all your ideas.
Seriously, although you think your request is justified, isn't it the same in the logic of opponents?
As a teacher, you must be familiar with the saying that "education (lectures and teaching) is an art", so "communication is an art" may not be paid much attention.
The deviation of parents' understanding is objective. Let me tell you a case I actually saw:
There was a pupil whose home was demolished and he got a lot of money. His teacher criticized the child for his learning problems and called his parents. Guess what their parents say? "Teacher, you don't have to ask so much of him. To tell the truth, there is plenty of money at home now, which is not allowed by the state, otherwise you don't have to go to this school ... "
What do you think you can make clear when you meet such parents?
I'm not saying that all parents who disagree with you are such parents, but I want to tell you a considerable reality, not all parents will have the same understanding of "education" as you do!
Faced with this situation, the first thing you have to do is to "understand" and then see if it is necessary to communicate alone. This kind of open communication is unlikely to have much effect.
Conclusion: I don't think there is any problem with these three items. Even if some parents don't agree now, it won't change these facts. But the subject can recall, did he improve the possibility of expression? When your child goes to primary school, you will feel it once when you attend the parent-teacher conference as a parent.
All three questions you asked are quite good.
However, these three issues have one thing in common: they all emphasize the responsibility of parents.
For example.
You are ill, go to the hospital to see a doctor. What the doctor said to you was not what medicine you should take, but criticizing you:
When you are sick, treating diseases is not entirely a hospital matter; Your illness is related to your behavior, so you shouldn't eat indiscriminately. Be worthy of yourself and take care of yourself. You are sick because you cooperate with your body seriously. ...
If so, if you don't complain about this doctor, you are worthy of him.
Every parent-teacher conference is on a working day, and many young parents take time off to attend it.
Every parent is willing to listen to the teacher about his responsibility, the responsibility of the school and the role of the class collective;
Every parent goes to the parent-teacher conference to learn about their children, their performance in class, their strengths and weaknesses, and how to improve them in the future. ...
Parents should know what the school and teachers have done, instead of putting a curse on themselves.
The teacher also listed three PPT with almost the same theme, emphasizing that most parents will naturally resent it.
Including responsible parents and irresponsible parents.
Because:
People who have realized the importance of parents' education to their children will think that it is a waste of time for teachers to emphasize this issue so much. They want to hear something they don't know.
People who don't realize the importance of parental education to children's growth will think that teachers are shirking their responsibilities. Having said that, I just want to express that "it is not only the responsibility of teachers for children to learn badly."
Teachers hold parent-teacher conferences to gain parents' recognition and support, and also to understand the psychological state of some parents.
There is no doubt that parents play a vital role in children's growth.
The three points listed by the teacher are also correct, and I quite agree with them. This is also the reason why I have been learning parenting knowledge, because I know the influence of parents on children, so I want to give more and more positive guidance and help to children through study and practice.
However, what the teacher did was inappropriate:
It is listed in three points, occupying the whole screen, and every word is talking about parents' responsibilities.
It's a little overkill.
At the parent-teacher meeting, teachers should focus on the following contents, but not limited to:
Parents' responsibilities are just a little more.
Concerned parents will naturally take it to heart;
Heartless parents, he doesn't care if you stick it on his forehead.
Remarks:
Children with problems and families with problems still need teachers to communicate alone, which is not suitable for all parents to hold parent-teacher conferences.
The above is purely a personal opinion, please forgive me if there is anything wrong.
With all due respect, I don't like beating around the bush. Some words may sound harsh, but they really mean what parents say.
First of all, I think you are right about the three points and the first two points, but your tone is certainly not good when you write, let alone what you said at the meeting.
As for the third point, I totally disagree. Now teachers only teach classes, regardless of the differences of each child's situation. Some children accept it quickly, while others accept it slowly. Teachers should teach students in accordance with their aptitude so that children can understand.
If we just say that the class is over and leave the rest to the parents, then the teacher will be too relaxed. I want to ask, when the teacher is a student, is your grades good or bad, also the result of parents' counseling? If the teacher just lectures and doesn't teach students (except those who are unwilling to learn on purpose), then I think the teacher's duty has not been fulfilled.
In addition, if the teacher just talks about the class and leaves it alone, I think parents are better than teachers.
According to your logic, it is good for children to have parents to help them at home if the teacher teaches them? Can you meet the requirements of your school? If so, can children be admitted to Tsinghua Peking University, Oxford and Cambridge, Harvard and Massachusetts? If not, your request is questionable and irresponsible!
Communication is very important. Look at your problem. Even if it is reasonable, everyone will not accept it.
No offense, I'm not an educator, I just answer from the standpoint of a parent. These three questions are full of condescending gestures. From the heart, they are kidnapping children and threatening their parents, so most parents will resent it. I am in my forties this year. When I was at school, parents' duty was to urge their children to study, finish their homework on time and preview their lessons. And cultivate children's good study habits through words and deeds. It's changed now. A simple word "tutoring" shifts the responsibility of the teacher to the parents. Teacher, the so-called preaching and teaching to solve doubts. It's all parents' guidance, so it's no use asking the teacher.
I think it is really impossible for parents to urge their children to finish their homework. Let the children ask the teacher for advice with questions. It is the proper gesture for parents to cooperate with teachers to complete the education of their children.
The current teaching system has nothing to do with the level of education, and many parents really can't help. The child is now in kindergarten, and I taught him the order of writing and pronunciation, but the child refused. What I taught was wrong. Now the stroke order of some words is different from that I learned when I was a child. As a relative's child, I can't solve the problem that there is no equation in the second grade Olympiad. There are many such examples, so how can parents help? I have consulted some parents at ordinary times, and many people have the same experience. No way, parents can only study with their children, or they can't help at all.
Of course, teachers are also very hard, school enrollment expansion, individual parents and so on. And the teacher is not good at it.
Let's try to analyze the reasons why parents are disgusted:
The first question: don't think that children's education is all about school. Being in the wrong team is easy to arouse parents' suspicion.
When parents speak at parent-teacher conferences, the first position should be to stand on their side. Obviously, the above sentence is from the perspective of teachers. Although it can get the support of teachers, it is easy to attract the resentment of parents.
2. Speaking skills are very important.
What parents want to express is that "children's education should have the role of the school in addition to the role of the family". But unfortunately, parents pay more attention to "children's education is a family matter." If you don't know the speaking skills in public meetings, it's better to say less, so as not to be mistaken for a position problem, which is not conducive to solving practical problems.
The second question: children's behavior habits are related to their parents' education. This is a common-sense question, and parents are very clear and accept it. However, at the parent-teacher meeting, teachers mostly discuss the influence of family on children, while parents discuss the influence of school on children, with different positions.
In order to get the support of most parents, it can be said that children's behavior habits are closely related to their families, but they are also inextricably linked to the campus environment. The guidance of teachers and parents is very important. Teachers' guidance is needed at school, and parents' guidance and cooperation are needed at home to cultivate excellent children. If you insist on which side you are on, it will only arouse resentment on the other side!
The third question: children's homework needs careful cooperation and guidance from parents. This is a question that has been discussed for a long time. Both parents and teachers have difficulties. To be fair, my mother-in-law is right. No matter who raises this question, it will not be recognized by everyone, and it will be more aggressive.
From the parents' point of view, students' homework should be checked, tutored and filled by teachers. From the teacher's point of view, it is not only beneficial to correct mistakes in time, but also can reduce the workload. No matter who puts forward a solution, it will be refuted by the other side, which is a difficult problem to sort out.
When students are at school, parents can't manage them, but only teachers can manage them; When students are at home, teachers can't supervise, only parents can supervise. The purpose of the parent-teacher meeting is that there are various intractable diseases in the children's learning process that need to be solved by teachers and parents. Everyone should play their respective roles, and their obligations can be different, but their goals are the same, and everything is for the children.
It's really not easy to convince the public at the parent-teacher conference and express yourself in words!