There is a young man with fine features who just can't talk. He went to congratulate his friend on his marriage. At the wedding reception, he made a magnificent speech: With our friendship, I will definitely come for a drink next time you get married. ? The whole room looked at each other, and his friend laughed and cried, but he didn't know it. Because his words were inappropriate, he was not welcome to have a wedding or funeral. There are good people behind him to enlighten him to pay attention to the occasion, say more auspicious words that the host likes to hear, and don't say taboo words, and he suddenly realizes.
What to say on what occasions is the experience that people have summed up in their long-term communication practice. The choice and understanding of topic, the formation and change of an idea, psychological reaction and the result of conversation are all directly related to the occasion. Therefore, when you speak, you must consider the influence of the occasion and use it consciously and skillfully.
Sometimes the same content, different people say it in different ways, the situation will be different, because the occasion of speaking is ignored. Anyone who speaks on any occasion has his own specific identity, and this identity is himself at that time? Role positioning? . Only recognize your own? Role positioning? Only in this way can we use proper words, express appropriately, be polite without losing our discretion.
Leave three points in public.
After school at noon, students who bought meals in the restaurant lined up. Li Donglan and Zhao Yue waited a long time to buy food. At this time, the English teacher called Li Donglan and asked her to go to the office at once. In a hurry to go to the teacher's office, Li Donglan put the lunch box in Zhao Yue's hand and asked her to help bring it back to the classroom. Zhao Yue came out with a lunch box, but accidentally slipped on the steps and spilled the rice all over the floor. Zhao Yue wanted to buy another copy for Li Donglan, but the thought of so many people waiting in line gave up the idea.
When Li Donglan returned to the classroom, Zhao Yue said guiltily to her. Sorry, I knocked over your rice! ? Li Donglan was very angry and scolded Zhao Yuelai in front of his classmates. Oh, you are so careless. Last year's New Year's Day party arranged a program for you to rent a CD, but you lost the CD on the way, making our CD useless and making us lose money. What about this time? Zhao Yue blushed and whispered? Otherwise, you can eat mine and two steamed buns! What a broken steamed bun! It's full of junk meat! No wonder you are so fat, so you love this! ? Li Donglan ignored the classmates around him, which embarrassed Zhao Yue to expose his shortcomings. Dad? With a loud noise, she threw the steamed stuffed bun on the table and shouted at the top of her lungs. You can't eat if you want to. Can't I pay you back? Zhao Yue said, and threw away the money. From then on, Zhao Yue and Li Donglan became strangers, and no one spoke to anyone.
In the above example, the reason why Zhao Yue and Li Donglan ended up like this is mainly because Li Donglan exposed Zhao Yue's shortcomings in public and made her feel ashamed. Zhao Yue is careless, of course, we should pay serious attention to it and correct it. But Li Donglan is outspoken, and it would be wrong to expose his shortcomings. As the saying goes? No slapping, no swearing, no exposing weaknesses? Especially in public, everyone is watching. Exposing shortcomings not only damages each other's image in the public, but also reduces their own image, which will not only deepen the contradiction between them, but also make each other psychologically unbalanced. We should be more understanding and tolerant of the mistakes made by our classmates because of accidents. If Li Donglan finds a suitable opportunity to communicate with Zhao Yue afterwards and help her correct it, it will not only protect Zhao Yue's face, but also destroy the friendship.
Try to talk as little as possible in crowded situations.
Zhao Xiaowei is a literary and art committee member of her class. She was very excited when she heard that the school was going to hold an art festival. It turns out that Zhao Xiaowei has a certain dance foundation, and she wants to show her grace at the art festival. Before the art festival, every class will give out programs. On this day, Zhao Xiaowei mobilized his classmates to sign up for this festival. ? Students, this art festival, our class must shine, first, there are many literary and artistic backbones in our class, and second, the city leaders want to watch the report performance, and everyone should contribute. ? The students signed up enthusiastically and soon signed up for more than a dozen projects. At this moment, Zhao Xiaowei said. Everyone signed up, which is good, but short is better than luxury! Let's perform first. Let me have a look. ? At this moment, Li Tianyu, sitting in the last row, shouted: What qualifications do you have to censor the program? ? Zhao Xiaowei immediately said:? I am a literary and art committee member, and the literary and art committee member has this power! Who performed first? Her voice just fell. Small horn? Jin Yutong sang "Golden Flower" on stage, and then none of the students who reported the program came on stage. Zhao Xiaowei was a little angry when he saw this scene. What happened? Where's all the enthusiasm just now? Why are they all frosted eggplant? Everybody look at me. I looked at you and said nothing. ? Ok, I'll show you a fan dance! ? Zhao Xiaowei went back to his seat and took a fan, muttering: Speaking of seriousness, you are all timid, a group of cowards! Who is a coward? This is called a wise head makes a close mouth! ? Li Tianyu's words almost angered Zhao Xiaowei. ? I am a real person who is a real person. Let's see the real kung fu of real people. Although Zhao Xiaowei's dance is beautiful, no one wants to applaud her. There is a simple reason. Her words are full of gunpowder and make people feel uncomfortable.
As the saying goes:? He who talks too much will lose. ? It means: If a person talks too much, many problems will be unconsciously exposed in his speech. In the above example, Zhao Xiaowei made this mistake. She didn't say less when she mobilized her classmates to sign up, but as a result, she exposed her shortcomings and even met with opposition from her classmates. ? If you talk too much, you will lose, and disaster will come from your mouth. ? This is a communicative principle that we must keep in mind. Especially in crowded places, it is easy to get carried away. Once you make a slip of the tongue, what you say may hurt someone or some people, thus destroying interpersonal relationships and even bringing disaster. When there are many people, talk as little as possible, and play cards when you speak, so as to maintain your image and convince others. If you haggle over every ounce or nag endlessly, it's easy to expose your weaknesses. So, many people put? Shut your mouth? As their motto.
Use appropriate language in formal occasions.
Li Xiaoyu's deskmate is a chubby girl, with a chubby body, abnormal temper and splashing like a madman. This doesn't match her name. Her father named her Zhu Pei, from? My Fair Lady, Gentleman? , meaning? A lady a gentleman wants? . What is Zhu's homonym? Pig ball? So, Li Xiaoyu creatively gave her an unparalleled image? Nickname pork balls? And often call her that in private. Although Zhu Pei was reluctant, she knew her shortcomings, such as eating like a pig, sleeping like a pig and being like a pig, so she acquiesced. Although Zhu Pei is ugly, her academic performance is not bad, and she can be among the best in her class in every exam. One day, the headmaster and several teachers came to the class to listen. The math teacher asked a somewhat difficult question, and asked several students, but no one answered. At this moment, the math teacher thought of Zhu Pei and asked her to answer. I have no idea what happened that day. Zhu Pei fell asleep in her seat in a daze and didn't even hear the teacher calling her. Li Xiaoyu saw this and shouted:? Teacher, the pork ball is asleep. ? Suddenly, laughter was boiling in the classroom. Zhu Pei rubbed his eyes and stood up and said, "Li Xiaoyu, what are you talking about?" ? I have a name! ? While maintaining class order, the math teacher asked: Zhu Pei, how to solve this math problem on the blackboard is really disappointing. You gave the correct answer in two or three minutes. However, she was not satisfied with Li Xiaoyu calling her by her nickname. After all, there are principals and teachers in the class.
Since ancient times, our country has attached importance to the difference between inside and outside, that is, to our own people? Talk behind closed doors You can talk about everything, even say something presumptuous, but you should pay attention to your discretion in public or when outsiders are present. In other words, pay attention to formal and informal occasions when speaking. Speak carefully in formal occasions, prepare in advance, and don't talk nonsense. In the above example, there are two inappropriate names: one is to give others nicknames, and the other is not to call each other that way in formal occasions. We know it's disrespectful to give others nicknames. If the other party accepts it, it is understandable to joke in informal occasions, but it is somewhat inappropriate to call others nicknames in front of the whole class and the principal. Li Xiaoyu doesn't pay attention to occasions or respect others. As a result, the classroom was noisy. As the saying goes:? People only said three words, not all my heart. ? Therefore, following the internal and external boundaries will make people feel that you are a knowledgeable and cultivated person. Break this line and feel free? Shooting indiscriminately? Easily divorced from the masses and become the target of others' accusations.
On the occasion of sorrow and joy, we should grasp the scale.
The final exam results came out, and Ye Jing's performance was very poor, slipping from the top ten in the original grade group to the top 100. She has been depressed all this time and doesn't like to talk much. There are several good girls in the class, who often sneer around Ye Jing. ? There is no ever-victorious general in this world! Who can say that he will always be the first in the exam! You should also give others some opportunities, and don't always occupy that position! Hey, is there something wrong with her family that affects her normal performance? Her parents are not divorced. ? These words made Ye Jing even more uneasy. She tried to contradict them, but she felt very petty. So she comforted herself in her heart. Go your own way and let others talk! ?
The commendation meeting after the final exam will be held soon, and the students are all excitedly packing up their books, because as soon as the meeting is over, the beautiful winter vacation will begin. There is a boy in the class who is rated as? Excellent students? He was preparing a speech in class when he came across a word he couldn't write, so he asked Ye Jing. Hello, I'm writing a speech at the commendation meeting. I'm not sure of a word. Excuse me. Proud? what's up Proud? In the past, it was Ye Jing who spoke at the conference as a student representative, but this time it was someone else, and she was naturally wronged. What the boy said made her feel worse. Tears, actually? Rustle? Roll down slowly. At this time, the boy realized his recklessness and apologized to Ye Jing again and again.