Preschool children will be all right as long as they have enough to eat, have fun and sleep well, but once they enter the primary school stage, they feel that everything has changed and there are more to worry about. For me, being the mother of primary school students is also a constant challenge. I always say hee hee is to fix me, that's right! With the pace of her growth, my life has grown again. The child is a mirror, reflecting all the entanglements and struggles in my heart. When I cross it, I will see the sunshine.
First of all, about environmental change
/kloc-moved from Beijing to Shanghai with my sister Xixi at the end of June 6. At that time, there was still one year before she went to primary school. In order to reduce the impact of environmental changes on Xixi and the loss caused by her newborn sister, I resolutely chose Xixi's Mongolian kindergarten in Beijing to spend her last year in Shanghai. The idea of running a kindergarten in the same institution is consistent with the affability of the teachers, so it is not too difficult for her to adapt, and the kindergarten teachers are good at listening to the children's voices and accompanying their emotions, which is also very important for me, who is about to become my sister and mother of two children.
The kindergarten made a smooth transition and my sister was born smoothly. At this time, I once again faced the problem of choosing a primary school for Xixi. When I first came to magic, to be honest, I really didn't understand the educational environment here. Finally, I chose a private primary school which is generally regarded as the most "happy education" among famous schools. This school is going to have an interview and was admitted. Hee hee's "naked test" entered this primary school in the online baby promotion war, and this Chinese pig teammate contributed a lot.
Hee hee has entered a uniform primary school environment from a relaxed and free Montessori environment. The change of the teacher's communication style frightened her. Sensitive children are also extremely sensitive to environmental changes, leading to the first sentence "Mom, I don't want to go to primary school" when they get up early one month after school starts, and the last sentence before going to bed at night is "Mom, I don't want to go to primary school". What's more, she cried, I am very wronged. However, there is no way but to accept. Only by letting her release these emotions at home can she have more strength to face the dignified and serious teachers in primary schools. This is an obstacle that she must overcome. At the same time, after I accept all kinds of teachers, she will gradually learn to accept them. This process is also a kind of suffering and practice for me.
Second, on the basis of zero
Hee hee entered primary school with almost zero foundation. Many people have told me before, never trust zero foundation. Nowadays, children's knowledge is much advanced. If children enter such an environment, their self-confidence will be seriously frustrated. Sure enough, it should be proved in hee hee.
She has great difficulty in learning Chinese. She can't read or write What she brought was that she couldn't read the whole article because of the reading homework left by the teacher. She often cried and read books, lost her temper and dropped her exercise books, and even said, "Why have I tried so hard and still can't do it well?" As an ordinary mother, this sentence is enough! I love her dearly, but at the same time I am disappointed and angry at her ability to resist setbacks. When we encounter difficulties, we will try our best to solve them. Can losing your temper solve the problem? I really can't accept her emotional outburst at the moment. Looking back now, it is natural for her to express such feelings in front of her mother. If her mother can't accept her emotions, who else can accept her? Next semester, I gave her a Chinese character thinking class, learned the roots of Chinese characters, learned the source of Chinese characters from ancient Chinese characters, understood the original meaning of Chinese characters, and planted a seed for her.
Mathematics learning is equally difficult. Zero-based means that she has not practiced oral and mental arithmetic, but the teacher's requirement is that accuracy and speed should reach the average level of the class. Hee hee is the person who always falls behind the average, so there is no other way but to practice every day, and the boring oral arithmetic practice gradually kills her interest in mathematics. She will say "I hate math", but what she means is that she doesn't like to do verbal calculations and listening. In the oral test and marking at school, Hee Hee hardly received the "good news" from the teacher. When I came home from school, I said disappointedly, "Mom, can you give me a good news?" I have also given her a lot of good news from her mother, but the children who have never been affirmed by the teacher have lost a lot of self-confidence and interest. In this process, I constantly encouraged Hee Hee and set up the oral math problems she did every day. Whenever she is disappointed and lonely, she will turn them out and show her the previous oral arithmetic problems, and then look at the oral arithmetic problems she is doing now, so that she can find herself making progress every day. The listening and calculation homework left by the teacher requires her to listen to one item every day and listen to it completely every time. It doesn't matter if she doesn't fully hear the answer. Then she listened to it completely and wrote down the missing answers. Finally, she wrote them down. She started listening to each one three or five times. Often after listening to 1 times, she found that many answers were not heard and she was crying. After listening to the answer completely for 3-5 times, she was unhappy. She felt that she had listened too many times, so I prepared a separate notebook for her to review the listening and calculation problems she heard a month ago. This time, she found that she could stop at once, and I quickly sent it. Only then can I slowly see my progress and get better.
English learning didn't go well at first, but English was also the only subject that was trained in an off-campus institution before primary school. I heard it's not difficult. Sometimes you can't read words that are independent and out of context, but writing is even more difficult. Senior one has memorized words, and the amount is not much. I copied the words on striped colored paper according to the teacher's request. Before going to bed, after getting up and soaking my feet, I showed her the words and tried to read them. Repeated practice and time investment finally paid off, and it was affirmed by the English teacher after the first semester.
The so-called zero foundation means that you have not done enlightenment learning. If so, hee hee is not completely zero-based. /kloc-every day since 0/0 months, I will tell her a picture book story before going to bed, and I have always insisted on taking her to read and recite poems every night in kindergarten. I can recite 40+ ancient poems before going to primary school, and learn elephant Chinese characters and pinyin from her in the summer vacation before going to school. I have been learning English in Disney for 3 years, exposed to the English language environment and interested in always online. I bought a whole set of logic dogs and mathematical thinking training questions, and I have time to take her to play games. It is not without foundation, but the most important point here is that compared with the children around, entering primary school is equivalent to entering a huge evaluation system. You don't want to compare, but it is everywhere. The teacher will remind your child to pay attention to study, and the child will say that she just can't do it well. In fact, although they are all first-grade children, they are no longer at the starting line, and everyone is rushing out. You complain why everyone else washed away, and so do you.
Some Niu Wa are really born with intelligence, but more of them are the efforts of their parents for many years, careful training and example. No pains, no gains. You can get a lot without working very hard. If we just stop laughing at the parents who raised their children carefully in the early days and think that they are killing their children's nature, then don't be angry because their children are better than our first-grade children.
Although the starting line sounds particularly utilitarian, it can't avoid this topic. The children in the first grade of primary school are no longer at the starting line. Every child's family, congenital conditions and acquired environment make them not at a starting point. In the long river of life, the starting point is not important, but children who start late may face the frustration of self-confidence, and it is sometimes not easy to rebuild self-confidence. From this perspective, the starting line also has its reasons. It's better to face it than to escape.
Everyone and every family have different views on education. If you think life needs competition, you should first accept that our baby started late, stop worrying and complaining, and make small steps forward from now on. It's not too late to go to grade one. If you don't regard life as a competition, and every child has his own position, accept her and encourage her, then the starting line will not exist.
Third, about extracurricular classes.
Hee hee, there are not many extracurricular classes. When she was in kindergarten, she took English classes in an institution outside. She had two interest classes, one was ballet and the other was swimming. Ballet has been dancing for three years since the middle class, and swimming has been more than seven years since I was more than four months old. She used to like painting, but she didn't find a suitable class, so she didn't sign up for the class.
After primary school, time is the scarcest resource. Xixi primary school comes home late from school, school bus 16:45. After the break, she will have dinner first and then do her homework. Her weak homework will take 2-3 hours, math 20-30 minutes, English 15-20 minutes and Chinese 1.5 hours. It is impossible to add any extra-curricular classes on weekdays.
I finish school early on Friday, get home at 15:00, go swimming on Friday afternoon, start school homework at night, do school homework on Saturday morning, have ballet in the afternoon, have English class on Sunday morning, play freely in the afternoon of last semester, and add a Chinese character thinking class next semester, so the weekend is basically full.
Let me talk about the concept of education first. If everyone and every family are clear about the future training direction of children in the process of raising children, they will clearly know what is most important to children, what is not important and what to give up. Faced with many extracurricular classes, such as sports, music, painting art and makeup classes, they will clearly know what to choose when making a choice.
In Xi's extracurricular classes, swimming is a sport, so there is no time to choose other land sports, such as badminton and tennis. Ballet is an art form, and there is no choice of piano or other musical instruments for the time being. Painting also gives priority to dance. I don't advocate signing up for too many extra-curricular classes, but now I can't help signing up for two classes for Hee Hee. This is also a question I am thinking about after the first grade of primary school. What is my future child training direction? Choice means giving up and getting. There is no perfect choice, there are trade-offs. Only by clarifying your own educational values can you not be entangled in how to choose. Do I want my children to become elites? Or do you want to live in peace? Do you want children to live as they please? Or do you want her to be literary? I hope she has a stable job? There is no right or wrong in these, but it is unrealistic to want everything because it cannot be compared in different systems.
Fourth, about habits.
Many people say that it is most important to cultivate habits in the lower grades of primary school. So what is a habit? I have also asked many people this question. In the kindergarten stage, we need to help children establish living habits, so that after they enter primary school, they don't have to worry about various academic tasks, because they have developed living habits and don't need to spend more energy. For the first-grade pupils, the establishment of study habits is the first step, and Xixi Primary School has done a good job. The teacher helps the children to establish good study habits one by one.
1, the habit of sorting out schoolbags, books and stationery by yourself;
2. Record the homework of the day by yourself and copy it in the exercise book. Children know what their homework is. Teachers don't inform parents about the homework of the day through WeChat group, and parents are also forbidden to ask other parents' homework in WeChat group to cultivate children's habit of writing down homework.
3. The habit of doing homework before playing after school. As a primary school student, the first task is to study, and then play after learning. The teacher emphasized this point from the beginning.
4. The habit of reviewing after the exam is also very helpful for learning. The process of revision is the process of reviewing again;
5, the habit of reading, hee hee homework every day to see half an hour of homework, but also to develop the habit of reading after class;
6, extrapolate, the habit of sorting out the wrong questions, of course, this part needs the help of parents, and slowly enter the third year of high school to complete it yourself.
5. If you start all over again.
If I come back, this part is also addressed to my sister. Six years later, she will also go to the first grade of primary school. As a mother, how to accompany her now has been experienced once, and then she will have more say.
If I do it all over again, I will still let my sister play before school, but it will infiltrate more cognitive content, such as reading aloud and reciting poems. At the same time, increasing the reading of English picture books, such as literacy, will make her read ahead of time, such as writing, exercise small hand muscles in advance, such as mathematics, and appropriately increase oral, listening and calculation exercises while enlightening ahead of time. For example, the extracurricular class will choose the right one for her.
If I do it all over again, I will still cultivate good living habits in kindergarten, manage my daily life with daily schedules and lists, form regular working habits, strengthen exercise and ensure my health. Hee hee is in good health. She had a slight cold in primary school and took medicine for a few days. She didn't ask for leave once, and she was full-time all year round. On the other hand, it also shows that despite the pressure and various emotions, she has basically been released and has not accumulated in the body. Here, mom, I have contributed a lot! Give yourself a compliment.
If I do it all over again, I will still pay more attention to Hee Hee's inner world, cultivate her emotional awareness and make her pay more attention to herself. The outside world is very complicated. There are countless scholars in Niu Wa, and there are others outside. Be yourself, see your own uniqueness and find your own advantages. Hee hee this year has been very depressed, very lost, very sad. Whenever she loses confidence in herself and feels that she is not doing well, I will guide her to see the "list of advantages" written by me and her. You are not nothing, but a unique and rich life.
If I do it again, I will be more patient in this year's company. I yelled a few times this year and apologized immediately afterwards. Maybe I will be more patient with her, or more accepting and tolerant, which will give her more strength to get out of setbacks and gradually restore her confidence.
There are many challenges this year. I think the most important thing is to know my children. Hee hee is a sensitive and slow-heating child. Her advantage is that she has a strong sense of internal rules, so she has hardly been complained by her teachers about disobeying order or being unfriendly to her classmates. Self-esteem is high, so I don't have to urge her to make positive progress. She will consciously strive for the upper reaches, for example, she will consciously finish her homework, and she will want to do it well when she is relatively weak, but at the same time she will be too demanding of herself and can't accept that she can't do it well, so she will lose her temper and throw pens and books. Challenge is opportunity, and the process of raising children is the process of repairing one's own heart.
The ultimate goal of raising children is healthy separation, but let go. I need to remind myself all the time. At the same time, accept the original self, accept the hee hee completely different from me, let us grow together hand in hand.