One: cut the wound, shout for help, and find passers-by to squeeze out poisonous blood; Second, regardless of the leg injury, go after the hateful snake and avenge it.
Everyone must say, of course, choose one, and only fools choose two. In this case, the choice is obvious. However, have you ever thought that in life, we are always chasing snakes? I quarreled with people, and I can't let it go for a long time, always thinking about how to retaliate; I was cheated by the villain, staring at him every day, not caring about work and life, looking for opportunities to find fault with him.
But if we are scolded, it doesn't matter. Wouldn't it be cowardly to take revenge after being cheated, and would you still be angry? It seems reasonable. So what should we do?
The book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People can help us find a solution. It provides us with seven good habits that can be used for life. The author of this book, Stephen Covey, is a famous American management master. He was selected as one of the "25 people who influenced the course of American history" by Time magazine, and he was a famous American enlightener. Covey has a long-standing reputation in the fields of leadership theory, family and interpersonal relationship, personal management and so on.
Before talking about these seven habits, let's look at a few concepts.
A farmer came across a goose that laid golden eggs and soon became a rich man. But wealth made him more greedy, and one golden egg a day could not satisfy him. So he wanted to kill the goose and take out all the golden eggs in its belly. However, he opened the goose's stomach and found that there were no golden eggs. When the goose dies, he will never get the golden egg again.
The golden egg in the story is "yield" and the goose is "productivity", that is, the assets or ability of production. Golden eggs and geese exist at the same time, and only when they are balanced can they have good efficiency.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Jin Wengong led the army to fight against Chu. He asked the counselor that Chu was very powerful. How can we beat it? A said cheating, and B said it was like catching fish in the sun pool, and there was no fish to catch the next year. Fighting still depends on strength.
You want to work hard and be good to your family, which is your "output"; Then you must take good care of your health, which is your "productivity".
I was so busy some time ago that I felt a little uncomfortable and didn't have time to see it. Then I went to the hospital for minor surgery and rested for a month. My "goose" was sick, and I couldn't do anything, so I didn't give birth to anything. If we just rest and maintain our "geese" and do nothing, there will be no output and low efficiency.
Some people say this needs no explanation. Habit is something we often do. Yes, what you often do must meet three conditions. You are willing to do it, have the ability to do it and know how to do it. Therefore, habit is the result of knowledge (what to do and why to do it), skill (how to do it) and willingness (want to do it).
And habit change is very difficult. After all, what you are used to can bring people a sense of security. Apollo 1 1' s trip to the moon made us witness the wonders of human walking on the moon for the first time. But the premise is that the spacecraft must get rid of the gravity of the earth a few minutes before launch, so the energy consumed in the first few minutes of launch, that is, the first few kilometers of launch, is more than the energy consumed by hundreds of thousands of kilometers in the next few days. The same is true of habits. It is difficult to change at first, but as long as you are determined, there will be unexpected surprises when you change.
It occurred to me that my father-in-law gave up smoking. He has been smoking for decades, but he hasn't quit several times. Later, he felt unwell, with high blood pressure and some heart problems, so he made up his mind to give up smoking. At first, I felt very uncomfortable, so I drank water to eat, or went to find someone to play cards (skills). Be driven by a strong motivation (want to do) to ensure your health (why do you want to do it) and finally quit successfully.
Principles are the compass of human behavior. They are tested and enduring, and they are self-evident. Principles, like lighthouses, are unshakable laws of nature.
To make these wonderful laws work for us, there must be a premise, that is, the ability to change the mode of thinking. The word mentality comes from Greek. Originally a scientific term, it now refers to a certain theory, model, cognition, hypothesis or frame of reference. It is the way we look at the world, and the perception, understanding and interpretation of the surrounding environment are subjective and limited, because it comes from your past experience, knowledge and growth background.
Once, I wanted to take Nini to my grandmother's house, and she said that she would pack her clothes and go to the menstrual home for a few days. I'm still sitting at my desk reading. When I waited for a while to leave, I found that Nini was not dressed yet. I immediately told her angrily, "Don't go. What are you doing? You don't want to go! " She said nothing and returned to the living room sadly. I just saw that I prepared two sets of clothes in the past just to show my mother which one is more beautiful. I used the stereotype that I didn't get dressed quickly before muddling along, and I regretted it. Later, I took a warning and stopped jumping to conclusions.
Knowing the efficiency, habits and principles, and being ready for thinking transformation, you can follow the author to see the beauty and practicality of these habits.
Initiative means that between external stimuli and reactions, you always have the freedom to choose and the courage to take the initiative to choose and accept the consequences.
For example, if you are bitten by a snake or someone, you can choose to stay with them, or you can change your mind and choose to save yourself first, then go to the mountain next time and take protective measures; Improve yourself and get farther and farther away from the villain.
Many people have this experience. At school, because I hate math teachers, I deliberately don't learn math, or I don't like English teachers, which leads to poor English grades. These are typical examples of passive selection. Because you should decide whether to study or not, not the teacher.
Being proactive is not daring, sowing dissension and being arrogant, but being able to find out the crux of the problem more quickly and better on the ground.
Another key point of being proactive is to pay attention to the circle and circle of influence. Everyone's emphasis is different, and this circle can be expressed by a circle of concern. In the circle of concern, there are some things that we can control, such as applying for the courses we need and arranging our own time. We call it circle of influence. The child got 60 points in the exam. How do you say your teacher taught you? The school is terrible. Why didn't you listen to the class well before? These are all concerns, and you can't control them. Take out the test paper and analyze the reasons with the children, make targeted improvements, change what we can control, expand circle of influence, and make the children better and better in the future.
Starting with the end, literally speaking, means taking the end as the beginning. As the sixty-fourth chapter of Tao Te Ching said, people often fail when they are engaged in it, and there is no failure when they are cautious.
It has two principles. The first is that everything has been created twice. For example, if we want to change our lives and improve our learning efficiency, we must first think in our hearts, what should I do? It feels too slow to persist. I wanted to find a coach to study, so I began to inquire and finally began to study in the efficient learning training camp. For example, when we talk about efficient reading, we must first sketch out how to read in our minds, and then read step by step according to this method.
The second principle is self-leadership. You have to give yourself a goal, and then you can use it as a beacon to practice. Leadership is different from management. Leadership is thinking, paying attention to the top, thinking about where your future direction is, writing, doing business and so on. Management is behavior. What to do and how to do it are more efficient. Peter drucker said: Management means doing the right thing, and leadership means doing the right thing. The author gives us an example: a group of workers are cleaning the bushes. They are producers, solve practical problems, managers draw up policies, introduce technology and decide the workflow behind them. The leader climbed the tree, looked around the whole picture and said, "Not this jungle." The busy producer and manager said, "Stop arguing, we are trying." As everyone knows, the direction is wrong, and no amount of effort will help.
Didn't we agree to start at the end? Why start at the end?
You see, many people will be infinitely empty after success, or feel unhappy even if things are done well. For example, Pu Shu was famous all over the country when he was young, but he was not happy at all. He was forced to lip-synch at the Central Spring Festival Gala. When he came back, he was in tears, because that was not what he wanted, nor was it his "ending".
There are still many people who go with the flow and play scripts written by others or society. You vaguely feel unhappy, but you don't know why.
Many children are against their parents. It's not that the child doesn't like learning, but because you told him what he wanted to say, he felt that his life was under your control. He wants to write his own script, which is actually a good thing, indicating that the child has a positive attitude.
Su Xun didn't like reading when he was young. He is married and travels all day, but his father ignores him. It was not until his 27-year-old mother died that he felt that he should start studying and become a scholar, so he burned hundreds of manuscripts he had written before and started from scratch. Later, together with his sons Su Shi and Su Zhe, he became one of the "Eight Masters in Tang and Song Dynasties". This is the power of being proactive and starting from the finish line.
So what exactly can we do to start from the end?
The most effective thing is to write a personal mission statement, mainly explaining what kind of person you want to be, what kind of career you want to achieve, and the values and principles that lay the foundation for this.
How to write? First, what is the center of your life? Spouse, family, work, friends, money, reputation or self? Where is it? Aobing takes family as the center and family interests are paramount. So he went against his conscience and wanted to kill the whole village. Taking the enemy as the center means keeping an eye on the enemy's movements at all times. Any action is for the enemy, and there is only anger and revenge in my heart. Will such a person live happily?
Second, what should we focus on? Principle. Principle is our beacon, the principle of doing things, the sense of inner stability, and the unchangeable principle in a changing world.
Then how do we know whether this principle is correct? It's simple. Can be falsified. Why do we think science is reliable? Because it can be falsified, we can accept and recognize scientific pragmatism and empiricism.
Third, which principles to choose? It is to be proactive, finish what you started, dare to be the first, think in a win-win way, know yourself and yourself, and have a comprehensive effect.
Four: Writing a personal mission statement requires a process of repeated revision, careful consideration, weeks or even months, and frequent revision.
Five: psychological exercise and confirmation: including five factors: individual, positive, decisive, visual and emotional. It is the visualization of the scheme. What we are talking about here is visual thinking, such as A4 paper notes. For example, the simulation of senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination, one is to review knowledge, the other is to feel the atmosphere, so as not to be nervous during the exam. Another example is speaking, which can be practiced at home. I listened to a fierce cat. He records a small video of his speech every day to exercise his speaking ability. This is also a kind of exercise.
Now, we know that we should be proactive and keep moving towards the right goal, but in the process, we feel in a hurry. There are many things every day. I don't know where to start. I'm going to write an article soon, and the calligraphy group over there has to evaluate my homework. I was about to study, only to find that I didn't listen to the course in my circle of friends. ...
Therefore, it is necessary to list things and sort them according to the third habit, so as to arrange life in a more orderly and busy way. Using the method of time management matrix, it is divided into four quadrants, namely, important emergencies, important non-emergency events, urgent non-important events and non-urgent non-important events. We should have the courage to say no to the latter two things, and then focus on the second important and non-urgent thing, otherwise it will soon become important and urgent, which will make us feel urgent and overwhelmed.
Proactive, starting from the end, putting things first belongs to the three habits of personal growth, and the last four, five and six habits belong to the public domain.
The world is not black and white, either one or the other. But there is a third scheme, in which everyone can share information, strength, recognition and reward.
Get to know others first and stimulate their needs, so as to really improve the relationship between the two sides, communicate more smoothly and improve communication efficiency.
The sum of parts is greater than the whole. If each process is well done, then their results are calculated by multiplication. Its essence is to judge and respect differences and learn from each other's strengths.
It is a comprehensive application of the previous six habits, balancing and updating from four aspects: physical, mental, intellectual and social/emotional, and spiraling up.
The first three habits help us grow from the inside out, get rid of dependence on others and become strong and independent. The win-win thinking, knowing ourselves and ourselves, and the comprehensive effect behind it can cooperate well with people and do things more efficiently. A person walks faster, and a group of people go further. The seven habits influence each other and are based on each other.
The seven habits of highly effective people, like lighthouses in the dark, give me a direction. Let me know, I want to be a pawn, how to arch and what to arch. This book is my mentor.
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