On this issue, I have experienced a mental journey. People are used to doing things according to past experience. On the issue of chicken baby, my childhood experience is that my parents never care about my study. At most, they told me to study hard, and the action was to get up early every day to make breakfast for me and not do housework at home, that's all. Although that's all, among their parents, they are already parents who attach great importance to education.
Parents who pick up the baby after school or wait for the baby to go to extracurricular classes chat "What did our parents care when we were young!" It is a topic that can arouse everyone's attention. Parents' mental journey is hidden in the action of nodding their heads frequently when they hear this topic.
My daughter is preparing for the race this Monday and Tuesday. I have been a driver for several days. I finally don't have to go to training on Wednesday. On the way home on Tuesday night, my daughter made an appointment with me: "Mom, I will bring math back from school tomorrow. I don't quite understand a few questions. Please tell me about them. "
I once wrote an article "How to Choose Extra-curricular Classes", which was about my daughter's current application for classes. She is in the fourth grade of primary school and has not reported to the remedial class to study outside.
I don't need English, because I brought her to learn it since I was a child. What she learned at school is much simpler than what she saw after class. Chinese is not needed. Books are the most in my family. She reads and writes novels, and her school grades are naturally not a problem.
The only thing is math.
When my daughter was in the second grade last semester, a senior father told me earnestly that it was time to enroll her child in an extracurricular math class. At that time, I carefully checked the information of extracurricular classes and waited and saw for a while. Later, my daughter did well in several unit exams, and got the highest score in the class in the final math exam. I thought she could handle it by herself, so so far, we haven't reported it.
However, not reporting for after-school classes doesn't mean that I let her go completely.
In recent years, my daughter's idea of learning mathematics has always been,
1, follow the teacher in class,
2. Add a workbook after class and practice a lesson;
I won't ask my teacher, my classmates or my mother.
Before the fourth grade, my daughter's extracurricular practice was judged by me after she finished it. I took her to analyze and record the reasons for the wrong answer. In the second half of this year, I went to the fourth grade. I let her do it by herself, judge by herself according to the answers, analyze the reasons by herself and record the reasons. With the foundation that I took her to correct her mistakes and analyze the reasons in the past two years, I found that she could do it herself, so I completely let go.
However, whether she judged it herself or I judged it, she still took it home to tell me about the problems she couldn't solve at school.
This is a baby chicken.
My child's father is usually busy at work, and his daughter has fallen asleep when he comes home at night. He considered how to spend time with his daughter. The only way is to send his children to school in the morning and try to communicate with them for more than ten minutes in the morning. So in these years, no matter how late he comes back at night, the child gets up at 6: 30 every morning. Father and daughter haven't seen each other all day, and everything they want to say to each other is in the prime time in the morning.
In the first semester of high school, my daughter didn't do well in the unit exam and was in a bad mood. On the way to school in the morning, she recited the scriptures with her father. Dad took her hand and asked her mysteriously, "Dad has the secret of doing well in the exam. Do you want to know? " I heard it was a secret. Of course, children are curious. Dad told her, "When you have time to finish the problem, be sure to check it. This is the secret of dad's high score in the exam that year. " Then I encouraged my daughter to say that it's okay to fail in the exam once or twice. Keep going. Dad believes you.
In this way, for more than ten minutes in the morning, they talked about everything. From study to school life, the child is also great. Although it is only ten minutes, my daughter always shares the essence of her study and life the day before with her father. When encountering problems, she often asks her father, "Do you have any secrets?"
This is also a baby chicken.
Let's go back to yesterday I finished my daughter's math problem yesterday, and her daughter showed me yesterday's homework paper and asked me to help her correct it. I asked her if she had finished the self-examination, but she didn't answer me, and then said she felt fine.
Let me see. There are many problems. Some questions should not be wrong according to her present level. I marked her and said, you shouldn't be wrong about these questions! While listening, the daughter said, "Ah, you are just like the math teacher. We did a short paper at school today, and I made several mistakes. The math teacher said I shouldn't be wrong, I should be careless. " "Oh!" I listened and continued to read her little scroll.
Since she corrected her mistake, 15 minutes passed, and she said while clearing the table, "Hey, I was thinking about reading that BFG. This is great, there is no time. " I thought it was time, and then I said, "Actually, you can have time today!" "
"All right," said the daughter, continuing to tidy up her pencil box.
"Come on, stop first." I took her hand and asked her to sit down again. "Mom knows that you did well in the mid-term exam and achieved your goal. However, we did spend some time today to deal with some problems that you shouldn't do wrong. Shall we set a small goal from today? Mom wants you to take every little exercise as seriously as an exam. If we shouldn't be wrong, we are all fine together. How about it? "
"Very good." The daughter promised to say. I didn't speak again. This is not the first time this has happened to her. I think, like any study habit, she still needs time to internalize and appreciate the benefits of "doing every problem carefully", which is what she has been pursuing, that is, she can have more free time to make her own decisions.
This should be a baby chicken.
Back to the question at the beginning. Now you ask me, do children need chickens? My answer is: Yes. But I want to add: however, it should be moderate.
The present environment is different from that of our childhood. As for how it's different and why it's like this, that's another problem. It's enough to write another big article, so I won't expand it here.
Everything has a natural result, whether you do it or not. If you are not a chicken baby at all, I think most families are not suitable now, because neither we nor children can accept the natural consequences of this chicken baby at all.
Therefore, compared with our parents, our parents' concept should be changed, that is, "times are different, the baby gets the chicken." ?
How to be a chicken? This is a more important problem than "asking for chickens", because "asking for chickens too much" is worse than not asking for chickens. At the expense of parent-child relationship and children's independent learning ability, it is better not to ask for chickens.
In order to grasp the degree of this baby chicken, my principle is that chickens now are not chickens in the future.
Teacher Sun Yunxiao, the chief expert of family education in China Youth Research Center, said that the most effective period of family education is before 10, because before 10, children's psychological characteristics are attachment and worship to their parents, while 10 enters a period of contempt and resistance to their parents when they are 20 years old.
Therefore, before the child 10 years old, it is very important for parents to set an example to help children develop good study habits and better integrate into school life.
Judging from my daughter's growing experience, I gradually became more and more worried at the end of her second grade and third grade, because she gradually became independent, and I was more of a supporter, helper and companion.
The truth that "a chicken now is not a chicken in the future" is very useful to me, because I want to understand this truth. I pay more attention to accompanying my children to develop good study habits, and rarely fall into anxiety or lose my temper on one or two questions or one or two exams.
Last week, my daughter and I talked about the parents' reaction after the exam results were announced. The record is as follows. After receiving her results, she gave me feedback on my reaction. I am very happy!