After three years of high school, my mentality has matured a lot. I understand the most important sentence so far: get it calmly, lose it indifferently, strive for it, and let nature take its course. I have imagined what it would be like to be hired by Peking University countless times before. I think, after seeing my college entrance examination results, after receiving a phone call from the admissions team, after receiving numerous surprises and blessings, on the night of June 22nd, I will at least sing "Exaggeration" at the top of my lungs to commemorate my senior three, and at least pick up my notes and logs, and add a conclusion of "PKU GETED".
But no, no madness or luck. It was really zero in the morning, and I thought about it day and night for hundreds of days. I just called my most respected senior to hear what she should pay attention to in the next few days. Then I watched my mother sit on the bed and forced a smile, reminding my father to smoke on the balcony and my sister was still sleeping. Then calmly reply to all calls, take a short rest, and immediately take a bus for 6 hours to attend the college enrollment meeting at the alma mater high school. Begin to respond to congratulations, challenges and invitations from all directions; As a monitor, consider how to organize statistical work immediately without embarrassing any students.
Since this is the honor I earned with hard work and luck, I feel at ease, without any ecstasy and surprise, just accept it frankly, just like I just learned to face the loss indifferently three months ago.
I am studying in a province where the college entrance examination is particularly stressful, but I have an unrealistic dream of clearing the north. About 9 science students are enrolled in the pure college entrance examination every 12 months in the province, and most of the students in Qingbei come from competitions and self-enrollment with competition background. When I was a freshman, I didn't collect enough information. I thought that with my own achievements, even the college entrance examination was enough to enter the top five of the whole school. Finally, Boya and I led the dream together and decided to give up the game after some weighing.
There is probably nothing right or wrong in learning to compete, but simply speaking from the determination, my original judgment basis and consideration are completely immature and wrong, and I have always regretted it. However, an ordinary person, an ordinary family, at the age of 15, can have the courage to make different judgments from others and not let others push him. Even if the verdict itself is rough, I don't regret it
The lack of learning competition directly caused me to look at my friends, people I didn't like, people I didn't know, and people around me who went to Qingbei or senior three began to drop the line. The pressure suddenly doubled, but I gritted my teeth and didn't say it. Peer pressure? Is this how it is used?
In the future, due to the lack of a solid foundation and a solid mentality, my grades began to plummet at the beginning of senior three. From the first age before, it dropped to the top ten, the top twenty, the top thirty, and finally stabilized at around thirty. Our school ranks the test numbers according to the results, and the top 30 is an examination room. I began to fall out of the examination room. I began to gradually feel the doubts and ridicule of people around me, and began to worry about the number of liberal arts places that I didn't need to worry about when I used to use words to defend my self-esteem. People who used to lead me by 30-40 points started to lead me by 30-40 points. I tried my best, but I couldn't see any improvement.
In the next semester of Senior Three, there is an elite class with 24 students in grade. At that time, my comprehensive ranking had been pulled from the original first to more than 20, so I squeezed into that class, waiting for more pressure to be put on me. I failed in exams again and again, and my dream of clearing the north has long been shaky. Due to the lack of weighty competition awards, my self-recruitment can only be stuck at the level of Jiaotong University, which is countless times higher than my standard deviation.