1) Let the nanny and grandparents take care of the children. Don't take care of yourself.
Many parents in China believe that as long as their children are watched by others, their lives are not in danger. In fact, from birth, children need to communicate with others. You can communicate without talking. Skin contact, hug, pay attention, talk to him. Children need constant communication, and they will become smarter and feel safe in love. Children in many of our families grow up unattended. The brain will become weird and dull. And then always lack the sense of security of love. Pursuing the love lost in childhood but gone forever in infancy.
2) treat children as objects to show off and compare.
On the one hand, China people love face, on the other hand, they want to encourage their children to make progress. It is often said that you see how hard their children work and how good their grades are. What prize did he win? This comparison is the most unacceptable. And often say it in front of many people. To put it bluntly, it is because of your poor genes that your children failed the exam. People are too influenced by genes. Including intelligence and personality. It's not that children don't want to do well. You have too many genetic problems. Every time the child is compared with others, it only brings him more dissatisfaction and pain. It doesn't help.
This comparison and competition also make it difficult for people's organizations in China to cooperate harmoniously. Like to fight with each other. For people with strong ability, they are not admired, but jealous, and should be pulled down. The teachers at school added fuel to the fire. The educational concept of the whole parents and teachers needs to be revised quickly. Otherwise, China people's teamwork will never be as good as others.
3) Do not respect children's privacy and rights.
Many parents hold traditional ideas and put their parents in an authoritative role. Think that the child belongs to the parents. This misconception that children are not treated as individuals with complete rights has led to many adverse consequences for individuals and society. Parents should knock on the door before entering their children's room. Children should be allowed to move or use their things. Any decision involving children should be discussed with them first. Don't read your child's diary or privacy at will. We should respect all the rights of a child and treat him as an adult. This aspect starts with changing diapers at birth. Before changing diapers, kindly tell him to change diapers, apologize to him and ask him to be patient.
Our society lacks this spirit of respect. The concept that leads to the lack of service and respect in society. People who are not respected will never know how to respect others in the future.
4) Shape children into the direction they want.
Many parents pin their lifelong regrets on their children. Always force children to take the path they think is right. Even if the child doesn't fit or like it. Like learning the piano. Like going abroad. Under this pressure, the family becomes unhappy. The happy time between parents and children turned into a struggle. Sacrifice the harmonious relationship between parents and children and pursue some inexplicable and not necessarily correct parents' ideals. When children grow up, they recall their childhood, full of unpleasant memories. This is really the work of some stupid parents.
5) Take school performance as an indicator of all performance. I think the harder you study, the better. Everything is oriented to the college entrance examination and going abroad.
Many parents foolishly think that school performance represents everything. There are two goals in life, one is the college entrance examination and the other is studying abroad. The goal is clear. The rest of parents' work is to lure bitter meat to beg with all threats and interests to achieve this goal. This outdated concept left over from the imperial examination era is still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.
In fact, the facts are in front of us. Now many people who come back from abroad can't find jobs. Many people in Peking University and Tsinghua can only make ends meet now. Achievement in school is not everything. On the contrary, comprehensive ability, vitality, perseverance and personality are the important factors that affect their life.
6) I think getting up early is good. Sleeping is lazy.
Growing children need enough sleep. Now the education circles all over the country are committing collective crimes, depriving children of sleep time. Destroy the healthy next generation of the Chinese nation. Many children get up at 6 o'clock. Sleep less than 8 hours a day. The whole country is still preaching the wrong idea that getting up early is the only way to keep healthy. Lack of sleep will affect development. Brain power will decline. Our children need enough sleep.
Educators across the country who violate the law and let their children study on weekends or stay up late should be banned through strict legal measures. It is a national collective crime to deprive China children of time to play, relax and sleep. Educators of these crimes should be arrested.
7) Children should not do housework, but should spend their time on study.
According to the survey of sociologists, children who do housework at home will live a happier life in the future. Maybe it's because I'm good at handling things. So it is unlikely that there will be setbacks when you grow up. Or more able to face setbacks. China's parents deprived their children of all opportunities to do housework in order to let them study. Deprived him of the opportunity to study, work, share responsibility and face problems. Educate stupid children who can only solve a few math problems (but can't solve them well) Parents in China should let their children fully share the housework. Schools should reduce their homework in an all-round way.
8) Lack of sense of humor and relaxed side.
Perhaps because of various pressures, the basic atmosphere of the family is to force children to study. What is family life? What is parent-child activity? I don't know. Parents lost their sense of humor and relaxed because of the pressure of life. Everything is forced, rushed, and the college entrance examination. I really don't know why people live. Parents or couples in this lack of relaxed humor atmosphere, a small setback will detonate the conflict.
9) Think that parents' love can be an excuse to make any unreasonable demands on children.
Between men and women, love is not an excuse to do everything. Maybe it's because there are too many TV plays. Many people think that love can be an excuse for everything. What many parents often say to their children: We do this because we love you, not for your own good. I want to use this sentence to block my child's rebuttal. This is ridiculous. Unreasonable demands are unreasonable. Don't drag love into it as a shield. Parents' demands should be reasonable. Let the child take it orally.
10) thinks that raising children is a hard duty, not enjoyment.
China's parents, after traditional education, are used to taking raising children as a hard responsibility. Because of this kind of bitterness, it is often implied or expressed that children should repay and be filial. A more correct attitude is that raising children is a kind of enjoyment given by God. You should enjoy your time with your children. Enjoy watching him grow up.