Deep thinking: Why is the adolescent love affair of middle school students "uncontrollable"?
information
On February 8, 65438, the netizen "Top of the Forbidden City" posted a picture of two men and women in school uniforms hugging each other while waiting for the bus at the bus stop with the theme of "Students' passionate erotic events at the bus stop". Many netizens criticized that in public, everyone should pay attention to behavior and learn to exercise restraint. It is not good for students to show their love in public, and they do not consider the feelings of others.
Coincidentally, Mr. Shi, a citizen, recently photographed a middle school in Jida, Zhuhai, where students made out on campus at noon, and related videos also added a fire to the discussion of students' puppy love. In this video, two male and female students who are suspected of wearing school uniforms are much more unusual than hugging couples at the bus stop, hugging and kissing on the chair next to the school playground, and accompanied by indecent actions.
Although with the changes of the times, the tolerance of the society is getting stronger and stronger, but the student couples are unscrupulous in showing their love in public, and they can't help it in full view, which makes adults feel ashamed! Is it good to be so young?
Puppy love encounters "youthful thunder"
On February 8, 65438, the netizen "Top of the Forbidden City" posted a picture of two men and women in school uniforms hugging each other while waiting for the bus at the bus stop with the theme of "Students' passionate erotic events at the bus stop". Many netizens criticized that in public, everyone should pay attention to behavior and learn to exercise restraint. It is not good for students to show their love in public, and they do not consider the feelings of others.
Coincidentally, Mr. Shi, a citizen, recently photographed a middle school in Jida, Zhuhai, where students made out on campus at noon, and related videos also added a fire to the discussion of students' puppy love. In this circulated video, two male and female students suspected of wearing school uniforms are much more out of line than hugging couples at the bus stop, hugging and kissing together in a chair next to the school playground, and accompanied by indecent actions.
Teacher Shi said that he saw this when he passed by the school last week. It is not good for students to cuddle and kiss during the day. Although the society is becoming more and more tolerant, he still finds such behavior in the video unacceptable. "Even adults should not do this behavior in public places in broad daylight, let alone underage students?"
As early as last year, a similar news also detonated the network. A pair of teenage junior high school students showed their love on the bus for more than 20 minutes in the morning rush hour, which attracted a lot of passengers to discuss.
At about 6: 40 in the morning, after the No.560 bus stopped at Baofeng No.1 Road Station, a man and a woman came over with students in school uniforms. It seems that they were only 15 years old last year. Shortly after getting on the bus, the two students began to get intimate (see the picture below). Mr. Liu said: "At first, I just held hands and hugged my waist. After a while, I began to touch each other's faces. Then they kissed each other. Finally, the two men hugged each other tightly. "
At that time, the bus was full of people, most of them were rushing to work, and there were many middle-aged people around 40 years old. Everyone saw the students "lovers" show their love without scruple and began to whisper to each other. Some are the same age as the parents of "husband and wife" and turn away shyly. Mr. Liu said: "I am actually a fairly open-minded person. I know that times are different now, and there are many student couples, but it is still unacceptable to show intimate behavior in public places! "
Tolerance is not connivance. VS times are changing. Treat it calmly.
"After 00, the pupils knelt down for courtship, and the students applauded and congratulated"; "9-year-old children kneel down to woo female classmates and worry about grandpa"; "Courtship in the entrance examination park, hug in the heart-shaped candle"; "Primary school students' hilarious love letter: I am not good-looking but I am very nice"; The 7-year-old girl received a love letter from her deskmate, saying that she wanted to get married "; Classical Chinese love letters of primary school students are popular, and their contents are better than the Book of Songs. "One-year-old one-bean writes love letters, shows off her math scores and wins her heart"; 16-year-old boy claimed to take his girlfriend away. " ...
The news of puppy love among primary and secondary school students often appears in the headlines, some of which are ridiculous. For similar news, the opinions of netizens are also fierce collisions.
Objection:
Teacher Shi said that it is a vulgar behavior for students to cuddle and kiss during the day. Although the society is becoming more and more tolerant, he still finds such behavior in the video unacceptable. "Even adults should not do this behavior in public places in broad daylight, let alone underage students?"
Mr. Liu said: "I am actually a fairly open-minded person. I know that times are different now, and there are many student couples, but it is still unacceptable to show intimate behavior in public places! "
Rare _80: Now everyone is paying attention to teaching. There is really too little education in this area, and parents should guide them correctly.
User 5764857520: Puppy love misses great events, don't miss the good times of youth, and study hard.
_ Aya is going to the Cape: I don't object to students' falling in love and improper behavior in public.
Moderates:
The netizen decided faintly-there is still money left-:it is really very strange. Nowadays, this society is prone to puppy love. Isn't it a waste of youth to old age? The country has opened the two-child policy, why should we marry late and have children late? Marry late and have children late, and you won't see your grandchildren grow up. I don't encourage show love, but I don't exclude puppy love!
V Lorimi V: It's quite normal. Must we exercise restraint?
Self-employed Laojin: How beautiful the pure love between boys and girls is!
LIUYUY 1N9: The age and mind of junior high school are pure. Don't blame anyone blindly.
I'm fascinated-it's not good to divide the occasion, but it shouldn't be a reason to oppose love.
AC_ Ceng Hao Exhibition: From a deeper level, this is a sex education problem for schools and parents. In my opinion, it's not that children don't know how to hide, but that we didn't tell them how to deal with this situation in the process of education. The center and physiology of students' growth process will change. It is because of parents' distrust that schools are so sensitive to the lack of measures.
Exploring adolescent psychology: Six types of children are prone to puppy love.
1. Outgoing and attractive students are more likely to fall in love than introverted and plain students.
Because most extroverts dare to do things, violate school rules, be restless, and have people who suit them, they will boldly pursue them. Students with outstanding looks are often the goal pursued by everyone, especially beautiful girls, who often can't stand the pursuit of others. They were proud of being liked by boys, listened to sweet words and soon fell in love with boys.
2. Students who love literature and have literary talent are prone to puppy love.
Influenced by the environment, these students are emotional and sentimental. They like to use romantic plots in books and songs to compare their own lives, imitate the heroes written by artists and pursue an ideal love world. In addition, they have a certain talent and are often envied by the opposite sex, so it is easy to get information about love.
3. Students with weak personality and strong vanity are prone to puppy love.
Girls are more common in this group of people. They have been spoiled and dependent since childhood. When they find a boyfriend, they will feel dependent. They are attached to a boy, so it is easy to become a boy's love prisoner. And those girls with strong vanity are mostly willing to accept boys' attention, praise and small favors because of their strong vanity. Some students go to puppy love out of the mentality of "comparing". They see that all their peers have boyfriends and go to cinemas, dance halls, pubs and so on. , so they are not willing to lag behind.
Students with poor academic performance are more likely to fall in love early than those with good academic performance.
These students are often unpopular with teachers, and seldom receive special attention in their studies, so they can't concentrate on their studies, so they will never get pleasure from their studies. As a result, they turn their energy and time that they have nowhere to spend to love and society to make up for their emotional emptiness. Most of these students don't pursue their classmates, especially girls, and often look for social youth.
5. Students who lack family warmth and care are prone to puppy love.
These people often appear in the emotional breakdown of their parents, divorce, abuse by their stepfathers and stepmother, or the death of their parents without warmth, living in an indifferent, depressed and even humiliating environment. So they long for the warmth of others, and the comfort of the opposite sex can make up for this and let them taste the sweetness of love.
6. Students in poor environment are prone to puppy love.
These students come into contact with some irresponsible people, or the friends they play with are puppy lovers. Encouraged and instigated by others, they also boldly followed suit, just as the ancients said: those who are close to ink are black.
The reasons for puppy love are often various and complicated. Some students combine the above situation, and puppy love may not necessarily happen. Some students fell in love by accident. Therefore, don't mechanically use these dogmas to sit in the right place in order to "prevent the micro-duration", but be good at discovering the signs of puppy love, such as abnormal performance in study, labor and extracurricular activities; Sudden decline in academic performance, frequent absenteeism, late arrival and early departure, even truancy, emotional instability, sometimes spring breeze, sometimes dark clouds, fidgeting, fidgeting, absent-minded in class; I don't like teachers and parents, so I avoid them. I like dressing up, paying attention to hairstyles and clothes, reading romance novels, extracting wonderful love descriptions, humming pop songs and so on. Only in this way can we seize the opportunity and grasp the initiative of education.
Deciphering adolescent psychological codes: Why do children's minds change greatly?
In adolescence, many children who were clever and sensible when they were young suddenly became unlovable, and some even shocked their parents. For example, he not only dyed his hair red, purple and green, colorful like a feather duster, but also punched a dozen ears. After chatting with my parents for less than three sentences, I began to quarrel and even smashed things.
Psychological interpretation: Adolescent children have a strong need for "belonging". They are particularly sensitive and afraid of being different from others.
The comparison between children has nothing to do with vanity. They don't care how much money their parents earn. What they want to express is that my parents are by my side and they make me feel particularly proud and happy.
Parents are divorced, parents are away for a long time, and parents are busy with work, which will make children feel that their home is not as happy as others', resulting in fear and inferiority. Many parents believe that the best love is to create more good material conditions for their children, but long-term absence from their children's growth and lack of spiritual communication with their children lead to their inner loneliness and indifference. Over time, they may use some unhealthy ways to dispel their inner emptiness and loneliness.
Psychological interpretation: Adolescent children are different from others. They need a quiet feeling, so that they can talk to their hearts, think and integrate themselves. They also need to prove their correctness and strength with actions.
Parents' verbosity, parents' criticism and suspicion are important factors that lead to children's reluctance to communicate. Han Han's mother can nag about the weather, the relationship between husband and wife, the economic problems at home and so on. 13-year-old children can't bear too much emotional dumping from their mothers. Over time, they will naturally get bored.
Why are you so lazy? Why are you so stupid? These are the words of parents in China. The child naturally feels particularly wronged: "Why don't you say something nice about me? Why can't you see my change? " They will get angry, fight, and finally quarrel with their parents and close their hearts to them. Because parents criticize, deny and doubt, children will feel fear and take some actions to prove their weakness and correctness. This is the reason why adolescent children are prone to do some inexplicable things.
Psychological interpretation: the management of children's self-desire-should I satisfy my desire to feel happy now, or should I concentrate on completing important things?
The self-management and control of this desire stems from whether we have been "responsive" to our children since childhood. The more parents spoil their children, the worse their self-control ability will be, which will lead to the stronger feelings that children want from the beginning. If children are satisfied with time for a long time, they will become self-centered and unable to control their emotions.
Be gentle and firm when limiting some behaviors of children. First, a firm attitude. Then parents' expressions and tone of voice must be gentle and gentle. This is a great test of parents' patience. If parents say impatiently, "Why are you so ignorant? Don't buy! " It will only aggravate your child's emotional confrontation with you.
Psychological interpretation: a series of normal reactions to growth. If parents never communicate with their children, when the body suddenly changes, the children's doubts can't be answered, which leads to the children's unacceptable, unintentional learning and decreased attention. Even, they may go online to find some inexplicable answers.
Children find it difficult to tell others about their physical and physiological changes, so they have to speculate alone. For example, in Niu Niu, a boy of 1 1 years old, his grades dropped sharply and he couldn't concentrate on the class at all. Because there are many questions in his heart: Have I become a bad boy? Have I become what adults call a hooligan?
Advice to parents: Before puberty or at the beginning of adolescence, parents should communicate with their children about the physiological changes that will occur during their growth. Dad communicates with boys and mom communicates with girls. It is best not to do cross-guidance.
In short, some "bad phenomena" of adolescent children are problems on the surface, but behind them are the strength of children's psychological growth. Parents should make good use of this power to understand their children and help them grow up.
Seven secrets to coping with adolescent romance
1. The first thing parents should do is to give their children a reasonable and objective evaluation of "adolescent love".
Tell children that this is normal, which proves that they have entered the puberty stage of longing for children's love. And respect children's personality and feelings in daily life, and never satirize or laugh at children.
2. Help children face up to "adolescent love".
Parents should tell their children that good love is not only a simple attraction between the opposite sex, but also a noble sentiment and a fulfilling spiritual life. If your child already has a relationship, parents should help the child analyze the relationship. If children are attracted by each other's advantages and strengths, they should turn this beautiful emotion and admiration and appreciation for each other into motivation for self-improvement; If children are attracted by each other's appearance or family circumstances, parents should tell their children that such feelings are superficial, material and external are only superficial, and the nobleness and enrichment of inner spirit are the most important.
At this stage, parents should chat with their children more and pay attention to their thoughts.
You can even arrange some parent-child activities, such as watching a movie together, singing karaoke with children, going to concerts together, doing sports together and so on. Don't deliberately "preach" children, but encourage them to express their ideas like friends chatting. Parents should not deliberately avoid talking about "adolescent love" in front of their children. In fact, the more parents openly talk about "adolescent love" with their children, the more children can break the mystery of "love".
4. Encourage children to associate with different members of the opposite sex.
Parents should never scold their children for calling, texting or going out to play. I remember a passage I read in Weibo a few days ago, which probably means that China's parents suppressed their children during their adolescence, forbidding them to associate with the opposite sex, and when their children graduated from college, they wanted them to find a suitable partner who was good in all aspects. This is really contradictory. If your child can't learn the ability to get along and communicate with the opposite sex in adolescence, it will have a very negative impact on their future interpersonal relationship and marriage concept. Therefore, parents should not prohibit their children from interacting with the opposite sex, but should encourage their children to establish friendship with their opposite sex classmates.
Parents should strengthen sex education for their children.
If your child has a tendency to get in close contact with the opposite sex, parents should honestly tell their children what to pay attention to in the process of communication, educate their children to manage their own behavior and prevent sexual behavior. Parents should not find it ugly to tell such a thing to their children. Now that information is so developed, there are many ways for children to get this information. Parents should tell them scientific sexual knowledge instead of looking for it themselves.
6. Parents should help their children to establish a correct concept of love.
Educating children is not begging for the response of the opposite sex who loves them, but caring more about each other and giving them help and encouragement when they need it. If children just secretly love each other, parents should tell their children that love is mutual. If the other person doesn't like you, you should keep this feeling in your heart without losing your manners and demeanor. This can help children understand "love" correctly, and also help children establish a healthy concept of love.
7. Tell children that they are like a small tree now, and they need to absorb nutrients constantly, withstand the wind and rain, and grow into a strong tree in order to assume the responsibility of family and love.