1. How long have you known each other?

How long have you been dating?

How long do you think we should know each other before we can talk about marriage? Please provide a justification for the answer.

4. How much do you think you know about each other? How do you decide the degree of understanding? Do others agree with you? If you disagree, please explain that according to your relationship with the other party, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree):

1. I discussed each other's background. _____________

I can easily tell each other's five advantages. _____________

It will be difficult for the other party to say my five shortcomings. _____________

I can usually guess each other's reaction under pressure. _____________

I don't expect too many surprises after marriage. _____________

6. I have observed each other's performance at many different activity levels. _____________

7. I know how different seasons will affect each other's mood. _____________

8. When I hide something, other people can usually see it. _____________

9. Being together for a long time can't make me know each other better. _____________

10. I have no pressure to get married quickly. _____________



Mistake 2: You decided to get married too early. 1. How long have you graduated?

How old were you when you decided to get married?

3. How well do you think you know yourself? What factors help you make this judgment?

Do you think the current income can fully meet the needs after marriage? Please explain.

5. Can you simply state your goal in life? What is your goal in life?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. My parents think I'm old enough to get married. _____________

I have completed most of my formal education. _____________

With my present income, it is more than enough to support a family. _____________

I know myself well. ____________

I am independent of my parents. _____________

I'm not sure about my goal in life. _____________

7. There are many experiences in life. _____________

8. I'm not sure what my partner can do to help me enjoy a happy marriage. _____________

9. I have grown up and matured. ________

10. My partner and I know exactly what role we should play after marriage. _____________

Mistake 3: One or both parties are eager to get married.

1. How long have you been dating before you talk about marriage?

How would you react if you had to wait another year to get married? What if we have to wait another two years?

List five reasons why you want to get married.

4. If you want to consider delaying marriage for several months or years, will you?

What are the long-term consequences if you get married right away instead of waiting for a while?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I think it is wise to get married after dating for at least one year. _____________

Both I and the other party are happy to discuss possible problems between us. _____________

One of us is more eager to get married. _____________

Neither of us has come out of a broken relationship.

If you don't get married right away, the other party is willing to wait for me. _____________

6. Getting married can alleviate my fear of loneliness. _____________

7. I am very excited at the thought of getting married. ______________

8. I decided to take my time when I got married. ________________

9. The other person seems eager to get married. ______________

10. I feel pressure to get married as soon as possible. _____________

Mistake 4: Choose the object to please someone.

1. How important are other people's opinions in your choice decision?

2. How much are you influenced by your parents when choosing a partner? How much are you influenced by your friends?

3. How will you react if your close relatives and friends don't agree with the person you choose? What do you think you'll do?

4. To what extent do you want others to participate in your mate selection?

If you don't marry each other, they can't stand it. Will you marry such a person? Please explain.

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. It doesn't matter to me what my parents think of possible marriage partners. _____________

I won't marry this person if my parents strongly oppose the person I choose. _____________

I am the one who should be most satisfied with my mate choice. _____________

When my parents or friends tell me what they think of the people I associate with, I will pay attention to listening. _____________

I will let others make important decisions for me. _____________

My parents will respect me if I ask them not to worry too much about the person I choose. _____________

7. I am ready, and I will never regret making this decision to get married. _______________

I can't believe my ability to make important decisions. _____________

9. The other party didn't feel the external pressure when making the decision to get married. ____________

10. Even though the invitation has been sent out, I can still cancel the wedding if necessary. _____________

Mistake 5: The understanding level is too narrow.

1. How many people have you dated?

2. What kind of personality have you had in-depth contact with?

Do you think you have rich life experience? Please explain.

4. List ten special things that you and your partner have experienced together.

5. Do you think you and your partner have a lot of experiences? Please explain.

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I have dated many people and I know what kind of partner I want. _____________

2. The other person's rich life experience often surprises me. _____________

I talked with each other about many different topics. _____________

I am inseparable from each other. ____________

I never quarrel with each other. __________

6. I know how the other person interacts with the children. _____________

7. My partner and I both like to be alone. ____________

8. The other party is good at dealing with money affairs. _____________

9. When encountering unexpected things, the reaction of the other party rarely surprises me. _____________

10. I have many activities with the same hobbies. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Error 6: They have unrealistic expectations.

1. What are your three expectations for a happy marriage?

2. What are the other person's three expectations for a happy marriage?

3. What makes you have these expectations for marriage?

Do you think it is difficult to make a happy marriage?

Do you think there are any contradictions between you and the other party that can be solved? Please explain.

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I think true love can easily solve all problems in marriage. _____________

2. Another person can make my life meaningful. _____________

I can guess what problems my lover and I are most likely to have after marriage. _____________

I know that not everything is sweet at the wedding. _____________

Getting married should not increase the stress in my life. _________________

6. My expectation of marriage is mainly influenced by my parents' marriage. _____________

7. The other party obviously understands the struggle his parents went through in their marriage. _____________

8. My partner and I both think that marriage is a formidable challenge. _____________

9. Once I get married, I will never allow myself to have the idea of divorce. _____________

10. My partner and I have similar views on sex. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Error 7: There are serious personality or behavior problems.

1. Does the other person have any personality characteristics or behavior habits that make you feel uncomfortable? If so, how will you discuss these issues with each other?

2. Can you accept each other's mood most of the time?

3. Does the other party have any drug and alcohol problems that worry you?

Do you know your partner's past sexual experience? what do you think?

5. Has the other person always been worthy of your trust? Please explain.

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. The other person will drink moderately. _____________

I never have to worry that the other party will have an affair everywhere. _____________

If the other person tells me something, I know I can believe what he says. _____________

I believe that the other party will keep his promise. ____________

I can't think of anything that bothers me. _____________

6. I used to have some behavior characteristics that bothered me, but now I have overcome them. _____________

7. The other person has at least one major personality defect, and I really hope to eradicate _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

8. I can marry each other without hesitation. _____________

9. My friends often tell me to pay attention to a certain trait of each other. ____________

10. I won't ask the other party to make any big changes, even if I have the opportunity to change the other party. _____________

Chapter 2 describes your ideal lover/relationship evaluation form.

First, personality

1. Do you prefer quiet and shy people or talkative and sociable people?

Do you like formal and organized people, or big and informal people?

Do you like interesting people or serious people?

Do you prefer strong and independent people or people who let you make decisions?

5. Do you want your ideal person to be smooth or straightforward?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I really hope the other party can let me decide something. _____________

When we are together, there are not many moments of laughter. _______________

I really hope that the other party can talk to me more. _____________

I admire each other's serious attitude. ______________

I am glad that the other person is very gentle with me. _____________

6. Sometimes I wish the other person would let me speak first. _____________

7. All my friends think that I am very suitable for each other. _____________

I wish I could be as strict as others. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Second, smart.

1. How smart do you think your ideal partner should be?

2. Do you prefer analytical people or intuitive people? Why?

Do you think the ideal object should be a thoughtful person or a feeling person?

4. What kind of intelligence do you want the ideal person to have? Never forget anything? Very digital? Have a gift for languages? Good at using machines?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I often feel stupid in front of each other. ____________

I really hope each other can do better in math. _____________

I really hope that the other party can think more and feel less. _____________

I wonder if the other person thinks I'm smart enough. _____________

5. My listening and listening abilities are roughly equal to each other's. __________

6. I like that the other person always analyzes the plot after watching the movie. _____________

7. Sometimes I feel embarrassed when the other person says something wrong. _____________

8. I often have heated discussions with each other on different topics. _____________

Third, the appearance

1. Describe the external structure of your ideal object.

2. How important is the other person's weight to you?

Do you mind if the external conditions of the other party are not very good? Please explain.

4. What physical characteristics do you think are the most important for a possible partner? Please list.

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I really hope the other person's height can be higher. _____________

I like each other's looks at first sight. _____________

I don't want each other to lose weight. _____________

I want to ask someone to change their hair color or hairstyle. _____________

I appreciate that the other party always dresses appropriately. _____________

6. The other party always keeps clean and tidy. _____________

7. The other person is a bit clumsy, and I don't like it. _____________

8. I think others will be honored to see us together. _____________

Fourth, ambition.

1. Describe your career aspirations.

2. Is it more important for you to relax or continue to devote yourself to your career?

3. How ambitious should your spouse be in his career? How should ambition be expressed?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I think the other person is an ambitious person. _____________

I have many common goals with each other. _____________

I hope we can slow down once in a while. _____________

4. The other party seems too desperate. _____________

I don't care if I can "enter the management" at all. _____________

6. The other side attaches great importance to success. _____________

7. One of us especially needs a rest. _____________

We all hope to succeed in my career. _____________

Verb (abbreviation for verb) attraction

1. What qualities are you attracted to?

2. How much do you value the feeling of romance?

3. When you are looking for a marriage partner, how much weight does physical attraction take?

4. In terms of communication, do you feel that you and the other party sometimes talk like chickens and ducks?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I am attracted to each other. _____________

I don't know much about attraction. _____________

Physical attractiveness is an important part of our relationship. _____________

I really hope the other person can be more romantic. _____________

Reason is more important to me than romance. _____________

6. I am eager to have more emotional sparks with each other. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ six. Spiritual (belief) level

1. What do you think is the importance of spirituality (faith) in marriage?

2. How would you describe your beliefs?

3. Do you think belief is a personal experience or can be shared with others? Please explain.

4. What kind of belief does the other person have that is important to you? Please explain.

5. If you think you are a man of faith, how do you express your faith?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I have a similar belief background with the other party. _____________

2. Faith is very important to me. ______________

I don't like attending church activities. _____________

I don't understand what benefits each other can get from praying. _____________

Faith is my personal business and has nothing to do with others. _____________

6. I don't like that every time the other person needs to make a decision, he will look for an answer from the Bible. _____________

7. Faith puts pressure on our feelings. _____________

I hope faith will play an important role in our marriage. _____________

Seven, personality

1. Describe which personality characteristics of your spouse are most important to you?

2. How would you react if you found out that the other party lied to you many times?

What values do you think are necessary for a married person?

4. How would you describe your role?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. I occasionally find that I lie in the opposite direction. _____________

2. The other party thinks I'm trustworthy. _____________

I appreciate each other's courage to stick to their beliefs. _____________

I really hope that the other party can have more firm values. _____________

I can't imagine the other party cheating me for any reason. _____________

6. If the other party pays the bill and the clerk gives more change, I know what he will do. _____________

7. The other party is very responsible. _____________

8. I really hope that the other party can show more respect to people with authority. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ eight. creativity

1. Do you think you are a creative person? Why?

2. Does it matter to you whether the other person is creative or not? Please explain.

3. Which aspect of creativity is most important to you?

4. What do you admire most about creativity?

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. The other person is the most creative person I know. _____________

I really hope that the other party will be less creative and more responsible. _____________

The cost of creativity is too high. _____________

Another person likes to think of some different ways to increase the fun of life. _____________

I am surprised that when we are together, we can be creative. _____________

I value creativity more than others. _____________

7. The lack of creativity in our relationship sometimes bothers me. _____________

We all like to think of some new ideas to celebrate our love. _____________

Nine, the ability of parents

What are your parents like?

2. Which parenting skills do you admire most among your friends or family?

3. Do you want children? If so, how many?

When you think of being a parent, do you feel excited or anxious? Please explain.

According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. My partner and I discussed the problem of having children in detail. _____________

I think the other person will be a good parent. _____________

My partner and I are determined to keep our promise to our family. _____________

I can imagine each other playing with our children. _____________

I've seen each other interact with children. _____________

6. I'm worried that the other person's attitude towards disciplining children may be more severe than mine. _____________

7. Another person feels sick at the thought of dirty diapers. _____________

8. My partner and I both want to help our friends or family to look after the children together. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ X. Sincerity

1. Describe what "honesty" or "sincerity" means to you.

2. How comfortable can you be in front of each other?

3. Do you care that in front of your friends, the other person's opinion is different from yours? Please explain.

4. How do you react to people who are hypocritical? Have you ever felt the pressure of having to be influenced? Please explain.

Do you agree that sincerity is the most important of the above ten qualities? Why?

6. Try to rank the above ten features in order of importance. Why is your order like this? According to your relationship with the other person, choose one of the statements from L (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).

1. We don't mind having different opinions in front of others. _____________

2. The other party often makes a response to please others in front of others. _____________

I can naturally confess my views to each other. _____________

The other party sometimes asks others to impose expectations and requirements on him. _____________

The other person doesn't care much about what others think of him. _____________

6. Different opinions will not cause unhappiness to both of us. _____________

7. Relatives and friends feel that the other person's mood is very stable. _____________

8. We can both confess to ourselves and each other. _____________