The first one:

As a primary school student, I envy my classmates who are asked to read the composition by the teacher, and I always hope that the teacher can let me read it. Opportunity is the last.

"So-and-so, read your composition to everyone!"

Pupils suddenly stood up: "My teacher". Teacher, I look like your mother. ":(

The second one:

A primary school student participated in the school recitation competition for the first time, and his personality was rather nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: "Teachers and classmates, the topic I recited is: Red Leaf Madness (Maple)."

~ #￥**。

The third one:

My family often plants green onions in pots in winter to keep them fresh and tender.

My sister saw it when she came home for the Spring Festival. She said to my mother with joy, "Hey! Mom, this is thick onion. " My mother and I both laughed.

Fourth: (group nickname)

There is a neighbor named "Auntie" who goes to work by bike every day.

I met her at the door early in the morning. I smiled and said politely, "Grandma, Daban."

Bah! . I want to bite off my tongue.

The fifth one:

When I was a primary school student, I made a resolution at the general meeting of the whole school: "We should understand the revolutionary spirit of the Red Army in climbing snow-capped mountains and grasslands." Since then, he has been deprived of his right to political speech for life.

The sixth one:

In high school, the teacher asked me to read the text at the same table. This girl has always been famous for her vivid reading. That day, she was reading aloud with her textbook in her arms. He held his post in the snowstorm, clutching a steel gun. (original)

What we heard was.

. He stood guard in the snowstorm, holding a pen tightly in his hand.

. There was silence in the class, the teacher smiled, and then all the students fell down. (Realistic performance materials)

Seventh:

I take my son to feed the ducks. He ran after the duck while scattering bread crumbs, and I ran after him with his apple (he didn't like it, so I had to take a few bites when he was distracted). He kept running, and I kept calling him, "Come and eat an apple and chase the duck!" " ! After repeating this sentence, I finally shouted, "Come and have a bite of the duck." Then skillfully step on the brakes.

Eighth:

I remember when I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, the author turned a mountain and saw 1 waterfall hanging on the mountain. When one of my female classmates was reading aloud, she was also reading aloud: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain, 1 piece of rag hung on the mountain.

The whole class was stunned.

The ninth time:

There was a pupil who always pronounced "bank" as "good". One day when he was studying, he read that the people in China are very good, and the business in China is also very good. ................................................................................................................................!

Tenth:

One sentence in the article is extracted from the novels of Russian writers: the houses there are all owned by lords (referring to the rich). As a result, one of my male classmates read aloud: the houses there are all old men's. As soon as the voice fell, our Chinese teacher asked him doubtfully: Where do the old ladies live?

1 1, ant (sweet talk)

A first-grade brother and sister told the teacher as soon as they returned to the classroom: "Teacher, there are many ants in the toilet!" " "

The female teacher nodded and suddenly thought that she had taught the word ant in English at the beginning of school. She wanted to see if the younger brothers and sisters remembered it, so she asked, "What did the ant say?"

Little brother and little sister looked blank, and after a while they answered, "Ant, he, he didn't speak!" " "

12, proposal

Xiao Fang, a sophomore, is very cute and is often pestered by the boys in her class. One day, Xiao Fang came home and said to his mother, "Mom, Xiao Qiang proposed to me today ..." Mom casually asked, "Does he have a regular job?" Xiao Fang thought about it and said that he was responsible for cleaning the blackboard in our class. "

13, underestimated the son.

Colleague Dapeng leads her daughter to play at home.

This is the first time I have met his daughter. I didn't expect to grow so big. I heard that she is in the second grade of primary school.

The little girl is very polite and greets as soon as she comes in. At this point, my son is far from it. That boy has a great personality. Even if he is mobilized, he doesn't have to scream.

The little girl is cute, too, and behaves like a grown-up. To tell the truth, I fell in love with her at once.

In the evening, I took the initiative to ask my son, "Look, the little girl who came here today is about your age. What do you think of her? " In fact, I mainly want to encourage my son to understand others through his impression of her.

As a result, my son actually asked, "Do you want me to fall in love with her?"

14, I want to be a teacher when I grow up.

My family is four and a half years old. Usually timid, it is not good to talk to strangers. But if you don't sing, it will be a blockbuster.

During the Spring Festival, my absent uncles and aunts often come to see me. She doodles and draws on the table alone, and looks very handsome. Aunt asked, "What are you drawing, Youyou (daughter's real name)?"

The daughter was silent.

"Well, that's nice. Do you want to be a painter when you grow up? "

Still silent.

"Oh, my aunt guessed wrong. Tell her what she wants to be when she grows up? "

The strangeness faded away, raised his head and said innocently, "I want to be a teacher!" " "

"Oh, yes, tell my aunt again. What kind of teacher do you want to be? "

The daughter looked surprised: "My name is Wang. Of course, I am a teacher. I don't know how simple it is? "

15, teaching

There is a clever student in the third grade of primary school, but it is difficult for him to settle down and listen to the class.

One day, he said to the teacher, "I know enough." There is no need to continue studying. "

Teacher: "Oh, really? You only read until the third grade. What are you going to do? "

Student: "Teaching the second grade."

16, the truth about children

A young teacher just told a little boy in her class a story about a sheep, saying that a sheep was eaten by a wolf because it left the flock. "Look," she said, "if this sheep is honest and doesn't leave the flock, it won't be eaten by wolves, right?" "Yes, sir." The little boy replied, "but we ate it later." "(primary school joke)

17, things for the family

My brother is in the fourth grade of primary school. He is so fat that people often make fun of him. One day, the teacher asked one of their classmates to start writing "What I do for my family every day" in the contact book. My brother can't think of anything, so his mother has to fill it out. She wrote in the contact book: "Help the family eat every day." The teacher's evaluation is: "I can see that you are very energetic!" "

18, notice

"What's wrong with you this day? What have you been fiddling with it for so long? " Father said, from

The son grasped the notice in his hand and turned it over. There is a comment written by the teacher: "Shooting slingshots in class, putting bugs in students' pockets ... please tell parents about it." "

"What kind of person will you become when you do all this at school?" The father yelled at his son.

"Father, this is not my notice. I found it in your old box. "

19, my father gave it to me.

One day, both father and son got up very late. Father didn't go to work and son didn't go to school.

"In the office, people will think that I am ill. What about you? What do you say when classmates ask about you? " The father asked his son.

"I told you that my father's illness infected me."

20. Irony

One day, my mother killed a mouse in the house. She didn't want her neighbors to know, so she told Xiaoyao not to tell anyone because the mouse was dirty. But Xiao Yao said to his classmates, "My family has a secret, which is too dirty to tell you."

2 1, me 30 years later

The fifth-grade composition teacher assigned a composition topic "Me Thirty Years Later".

A girl named Xiaomei in the class wrote: ... It was a beautiful day. I take my children to the park to play. I'm driving the limousine my husband bought me, with a big diamond ring on my finger and a gold necklace around my neck that he just bought me last month. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. I looked at it carefully. Oh, my God! She used to be my Chinese teacher in grade five. ...

22. Father is hungry.

The father told the children about his poor family and his experience of often starving when he was a child. After listening to the story, my little daughter had tears in her eyes, and the cake in her hand was only half eaten. She said sympathetically to her father, "Oh, father, I see. You came to our house because you didn't eat, did you? "

23. One day I was chatting with my children. A girl asked me, "Teacher, are you married?" I smiled and replied, "Guess what?" "I guess you're not married." "Well, that's right." I scraped her little nose, and the child smiled and asked, "Do you have any children?"

25. Did the teacher write 8÷2= on the blackboard? After asking everyone: what is 8 divided into two halves?

Xiao Pi replied: "It is equal to 0!"

The teacher said, "How come?"

Pippi explained: "Separate up and down!"

Xiaoding said, "No, that should be equal to ears!" " "

Teacher: "Oh?"

Ding Ding replied: "Separate left and right!"

Teacher: Xiao Qiang, your composition My Dog is exactly the same as that written by your brother. Did you copy it from him?

Xiao Qiang: No, sir, that's the same 1 dog!

27. One day in summer, the teacher stood on the platform wearing a low-necked T-shirt and watched the students do their homework with their hands on the table. Suddenly I received a note from a student: stand up straight ~ pay attention to the light!

28. Teacher: "Xiaoqing, what is the emperor's opinion?"

Xiaoqing: "I am alone." He stood up and answered without hesitation.

Teacher: "What about the Queen?"

Xiaoqing: "Niangniang ... is Niangniang ..." He thought for a long time, and suddenly, he had a brainwave.

Move, immediately answer: "The queen calls herself a widow."

29. The teacher asked his students, "Bulls and cows are walking in the fields. This sentence is correct. "

Really? "

Most students replied, "Yes, exactly."

A boy said, "no, it's not like that." You should say,' Cows and bulls are walking in the fields.

Otherwise, it is disrespectful to women. "

30. "Children, who knows that camels are different from other animals?" There was silence. old

After a moment of meditation, the teacher further explained, "That is to say, what is another action of the camel?"

What's not there? "

The student replied, "Yes, it's a little camel."

3 1, supplementary sentence exercise: I wrote from ... a student: I fell from the sky. I was puzzled and asked, "Why did you come out of the sky?" The student answered seriously, "I belong to the dragon."

32. One day in class, two boys were laughing at the bottom. I asked, "Why don't you share the happy things with the whole class?" One of the two boys stood up and pointed to the other boy and said, "He said that if he reached your age, he would marry you."

33. In the fourth class in the morning, Xiaohua was hungry and didn't want to attend class. He sat in his seat, thinking about beef and bread, and drooling.

The math teacher found him absent-minded and asked him, "1. What happens if the decimal 130 is shifted to the right by one place? "

Xiaohua replied happily, "there will be lunch!" "