1. A little boy was taken to the hospital by his mother. In order to make the little boy less nervous, the doctor pointed to his ear and teased him, "Is this your nose, little friend?" The little boy looked at the doctor and turned to his mother seriously and said, "Mom, we need a new doctor." 2.a: "My wife and I had a big fight last night, and all our food was thrown out from the balcony on the seventh floor, and as a result ..." B: "What was the result?" A: "The building where I live this morning was surrounded by a group of scientists who specialize in flying saucers." 3. Once, when my brother was in a history class, the teacher asked him, "Who is Louis XIV?"

The younger brother replied, "Louis XIV, Louis X plus Louis IV, right?"

Hearing this, the teacher almost vomited blood and was out of breath. He said angrily, "Why didn't you say that Louis VII took Louis II away?"

Who knows the younger brother replied without thinking: "Teacher, from a mathematical point of view, Louis seven times Louis two should be equal to Louis square fourteen, so you are wrong."

The teacher fainted on the spot!

4. Young teachers in a university love playing mahjong. Once, he played all night, got off the mahjong table at 7: 40 and 7: 30 the next morning and hurried to class.

It happened that the students on duty today didn't clean the blackboard. He shouted, "Who is the farmer?" The students on duty did not dare to answer, so they had to wipe it themselves, but the eraser could not be found. He shouted again: "Hey ... Where's the whiteboard?" 5, a university law department, one day to take the criminal law exam. The first question the professor asked the students was: "What is the crime of fraud?" The student replied, "If you don't let me pass the exam, it's fraud." The professor was surprised: "How to explain?" The student said: "According to the criminal law, anyone who makes use of others' ignorance to make them suffer losses is fraud ..."

On this day, the teacher shouted to the noisy class as usual: "Don't make so much noise! Everybody be quiet, okay? ! "Nobody paid attention to him in the class, and the teacher left as soon as he tossed his head, ready to complain to the principal. When the headmaster and teacher came back to the classroom angrily and were about to start cursing, they accidentally found the students sitting quietly.

"What's the matter? Why has everyone become so embarrassed? " The teacher secretly rejoiced and couldn't believe it. "Is there anything wrong?" There was silence. "come on Monitor, you say! " The monitor stood up with his head down and muttered, "Old teacher, you said,' If one day you come into the classroom and find the class quiet, you will die for us ...' Q: How did your roommate Xiao Chen get hurt?

We made a bet to see who could lean farther out of the window, and he won.

8. A jewelry store was stolen. When the police arrived at the scene, they found a drunk lying there. In order to find out the whereabouts of the jewels, the police found a bucket of cold water, pushed the drunk's head into the water and asked, "Did you see those jewels?"

The drunk opened his misty eyes and said, "Sorry, I really can't find it. You'd better change a diver! " "9. Son: Dad, tell me a story.

Dad: Well, once upon a time, there was a frog …

Son: No, I want to hear historical stories.

Dad: OK. In the Song Dynasty, there was a frog. ...

10, someone went to the zoo to see the orangutan, and heard that the orangutan was very smart, so he made a gift for the orangutan, and the orangutan actually imitated him to salute; Then the man patted his chest again, and the orangutan also imitated and patted his chest; The man thought it was very interesting and continued to stick out his tongue at the orangutan. Unexpectedly, this time the orangutan did not imitate, but threw stones at him.

The man asked the breeder angrily, and the breeder told him that sticking out his tongue in the eyes of orangutans meant calling him a fool. This man realized.

The next day, the man came to the zoo to see the orangutan, saluted it and patted its chest. Orangutans imitate it Then the man took out a stick and hit him on the head, and then gave it to the orangutan. Unexpectedly, the orangutan laughed and spat out his tongue at the man.